Fruit and Veggie Jokes

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1 Great for Halloween: Q: What is a vampire's favorite fruit? A: A neck-tarine! Q: How does a ghost eat an apple? A: By goblin it! Q: What is a ghost s favorite fruit? A: Boo-berries Apple Q: When is an apple a grouch? A: When it's a crab apple! Q: What do you call an apple that plays the trumpet? A: A tooty fruity! Q: What did the apple skin say to the apple? A: I ve got you covered Q: Why were the apple and the orange all alone? A: Because the banana split Apricot Q: What is King Kong's favorite food? A: Ape-ricots! Fruit and Veggie Jokes Banana Q: What do two bananas do when they meet each other? A: A banana shake! Q: What kind of shoes are made from banana peels? A: Slippers! Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor? A: Because it wasn t peeling well Q: What did the banana in the sun say to the other banana in the sun? A: I don't know about you but I'm starting to peel! Q: What key do you use to open a banana? A: A monkey Beans Q: What s a tailor s favorite kind of vegetable? A: A string bean! Q: What kind of vegetable is jealous? A: A green bean! Knock Knock! Who's there? Bean Bean who? Bean a while since I last saw ya!

2 Beets Q: Why did the people dance to the vegetable band? A: Because it had a good beet Brussels Sprouts Q: What is green and goes to a summer camp? A: A Brussels scout. Q: What s the strongest vegetable? A: A muscle sprout Cabbage Q: Why do cabbages win at races? A: Because they know how to get a-head! Q: What is a taxi driver s favorite kind of vegetable? A: A Cab-bage! Q: How did the farmer fix his jeans? A: With a cabbage patch! Cantaloupe Q: What did the Mama melon say to the baby melons boyfriend? A: You Cant-Eloupe Carrots Q: What did one carrot say to the other carrot? A: Is it orange in here, or is it just me? Q: What did the other carrot say back? A: Hang on a minute while I root around for the answer! Cauliflower Q: What kind of flower should never be put in a vase? A: Cauliflower Celery Q: What vegetable might you find in your basement? A: Cellar-y! Coconut Q: What is brown, hairy, and wears sunglasses? A: A coconut on vacation Corn Q: What kind of vegetable is the most likely to be a rock and roll fan? A: An ear of corn! Q: What does corn say when it feels embarrassed? A: Aw, shucks! Q: Why is it not wise to tell secrets in a cornfield? A: There are too many ears! Q: Why did the corn stalk get mad at the farmer? A: He kept pulling its ears! Q: What does Cornelius call his silly friends? A: Corn flakes!

3 Q: What does corn get when you leave it in the barn too long? A: COB webs Q: What did the little cob of corn call his dad? A: Pop Corn! Q: What do you call corn that joins the army? A: Kernel Q: Which vegetable has the best hearing in the field? A: An ear of corn. Q: What does the rooster say to wake up Cornelius Corn? A: Cob - a - doodle - do! Cucumbers Q: Where do cucumbers go for a date? A: The salad bar! Dates Q: What school subject is the fruitiest? A: History because it is full of dates Eggplant Q: What is a chicken s favorite kind of vegetable? A: An egg-plant Q: What s purple, delicious, and fun to decorate for Easter? A: A hard-boiled eggplant! Grapes: Q: What happens when you sit on a grape? A: It gives a little wine! Q: Why aren't grapes ever lonely? A: Because they come in bunches! Q: Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? A: Because he ran out of juice Leeks: Q: Which vegetable can t you take on a boat? A: Leeks. Lettuce Q: What is a kayaker s favorite kind of lettuce? A: Row-maine! Q: What did the salad greens say to the hungry kid? A: We ll make your mouth and your tummy happy, if you lettuce (let us)! Q: Knock, Knock Who s there? Lettuce Lettuce Who? A: Lettuce in and you ll find out!

4 Q: What did the lettuce say to the celery? A: Quit stalking me! Q: What did the salad say to the dressing? A: Lettuce be friends! Mushroom Q) What room can be eaten? A) A mushroom! Q) Why does Ms. Mushroom go out with Mr. Mushroom? A) Because he is a fungi (fun guy)! Onion Q) What do you get when you cross a potato with an onion? A) A potato with watery eyes! Orange: Q: Why did the man at the orange juice factory lose his job? A: He couldn t concentrate! Peach Q: Did you hear the joke about the peach? A: It s pit-iful! Pears: Q: What are twins favorite fruit? A: Pears (pairs)! Peas Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world? A: Peas (peace) on earth! Q: Why do vegetables want that so much? A: Because it will give them peas (piece) of mind! Q: What do you get when two peas fight? A: Black-eyed peas Pineapple Q: When is an apple not an apple? A: When it s a pineapple! Q: What kind of fruit do trees like the most A: Pine-apple Plum Q: What kind of fruit can fix your sink? A: A PLUM-ber Pumpkin Q: How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? A: With a pumpkin patch! Radishes Q: Why are radishes smart? A: Because they re so well-red!

5 Q: What s the coolest vegetable? A: A rad-ish! Fruit and Veggie Jokes Q: What is small, red and whispers? A: A hoarse radish! Strawberries Q: Why were the strawberries so upset? A: Because they were in a jam! Q: What is a scarecrow s favorite fruit? A: Straw-berries Spinach Q: What s a dancer s favorite kind of vegetable? A: Spin-ach! Q: What s the most uncomfortable kind of vegetable? A: Spin-ouch! Sweet Potato Q: What did the sweet potato say to the pumpkin? A: I yam what I yam Tomato Q: Why did the Tomato go out with a prune! A: Because he couldn t find a date! Q: How do you fix a broken tomato? A: Tomato paste! Q: Why was the tomato blushing? A: Because it saw the salad dressing. Q: What did the father tomato say to the baby tomato whilst on a family walk? A: Ketchup. Turnip Knock Knock! Who's there? Turnip Turnip who? Turnip the radio please! Zucchini Q: What kind of vegetable likes to look at animals? A: A zoo-chini! Q: What is a zucchini s favorite game? A: Squash! Jokes were taken from: Alexander The Grape: Fruit And Vegetable Jokes by Charles Keller. Englewood Cliffs, N.J., Prentice- Hall, c1982. Dole 5-A-Day website ( Cornelius Corn s Corny Jokes

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