Section 1 Getting Started Jumbled email Number the sentences in the right order to make a complete and correct email message. ( ) I m writing to introduce myself and tell you a little about what we will be studying in the Advanced Course. ( ) Greg ( ) My name is Greg Halliday and I m originally from Toronto, Canada. I work as an instructor. I teach writing, cross-cultural communication, and other seminars. I have been in Japan for about 20 years. ( ) Best regards, ( ) Dear Participants, ( ) During our four-hour seminar we will be doing case studies, rewriting and lots of practice. Our goal is to try and help you become more effective and efficient email writers. If you have any questions, please ask away. ( ) I m looking forward to working with all of you. ( ) Subject: Welcome to Email Writing Why the need for effective writing? 1. What do you think? Check one statement below: Writing is critically important for success. Writing is very important for success. Writing is somewhat important for success. Writing is minimally important for success. 2. What can we expect in the future? The continued trend of global business and industry means an increased need for cross-cultural communication skills. As English is the main language of science and technology; business and diplomacy, this includes writing effective email in English.
What makes an effective email? The Five C s Keep it simple A good subject line (topic/purpose) State purpose early White space: bullets or numbers for points Edit, check spelling Clear contact information Reader oriented Politeness Efficiency (clear message easy to understand) Section 2 English Email Essentials The four types of email 1. The self-fulfilling email ( 自分自身の気持ちを述べるメール ) Here your message is the point. Expressing thanks, offering congratulations and apologizing are types of self-fulfilling email. 2. Enquiries( 質問をするメール ) Here you want something from the person you are writing to. Asking for advice or information are examples of enquiries. 3. Open ended( 今後の関係発展に含みを持たせたメール ) With this kind of message you are writing to keep communication lines open for the future. 4. Action( 何らかの行動を起こしてもらうためのメール ) The purpose of this email is to request some action from the reader. You don t always need a reply. 1
General email outline A) Subject Line( 件名 ) Arguably, this may be the most important part of the email as it can determine if your email is read or not. Generally, keep the subject line short and include the theme (topic) and the purpose. B) Salutation( 挨拶 ) These can be formal or informal depending largely on the relationship between the writer and reader. The most common salutation in a letter is Dear followed by the person s name. This is also true for email. C) Opening sentence / purpose( メールの目的 ) The reason / purpose for writing D) Summary ( メールの概要 / メインポイント ) Summary of ideas, background, conclusions, recommendations E) Support or explanation( 補足説明事項 ) (If necessary) F) Ending-1 ( 締め ): Closing statement( 締めの言葉 ) Often this is to say thank you, or a mention of some future event. G) Ending-2 ( 締め ): Complimentary close( 結び言葉 ) In business letters, the way you close a letter depends on the initial salutation. However, rules are not as set when writing email. 2
A simple template for email A) Subject Line: Theme (Topic) Purpose B) Salutation C) Opening sentence / purpose D) Summary E) Support or explanation F) Ending-1: Closing statement G) Ending-2: Complimentary close Example A) Subject: Request information on waste heat recovery systems B) Dear Sir or Madam, C) I m writing to request some information on waste heat recovery systems. D) I am currently working on a project at a coke plant in China and have very little knowledge of these systems. E) As your company is one of the leaders in this field, any information you could provide me would be of great assistance. F) Your time and effort is greatly appreciated. G) Yours faithfully, Shinichiro Abe ABC 3
Useful phrases Salutation 挨拶 Dear Dr. Barkley Dear Mr. Halliday Dear Mrs. Teraoka Dear Ms. Swift Dear Sir or Madam Dear Joe Dear Kate Opening sentence メールの目的 We are writing to inform you that. to confirm. to request. to enquire about. I am contacting you for the following reason: I recently read/heard about. and would like to know. I would be interested in (obtaining/receiving)... I received your address from. and would like to. I am writing to tell you about. I am writing to ask you to resubmit the document about. I am writing to enquire about the contract between ABC Institute and ABC. When referring to previous contact これまでのやり取りについて述べる Thank you for your email of September 10 th Thank you for contacting us. In reply to your request. Regarding our telephone conversation yesterday. Further to our meeting last week. It was a pleasure meeting you last month. I enjoyed having lunch with you last week in Kawasaki. Regarding our recent meeting about the budget for Project X. I would just like to confirm the main points we discussed on Tuesday. 4
Making a request 何かを要求する We would appreciate if you would. I would be grateful if you could. Could you please send me. Could you tell us. I would appreciate your immediate attention to this matter. Please let me know what action you will take. Please inform me of your decision. Offering help 力を貸してあげる We would be happy to. Would you like us to. Our company would gladly. I would be happy to help if you need help filling out the forms. Giving bad news 良くないニュースを知らせる I m sorry but we can t. We regret that. Unfortunately. We regret to inform you that your request was not accepted. Unfortunately the funding for your research was not approved. Complaining 文句を言う I m writing to complain about. There appears to be a problem with. I feel I must say something about. Apologizing 謝る We are sorry for. We regret the inconvenience. I apologize for. Attachments 添付する Please find the document attached. I have attached the file you requested. Please refer to the attached list. Please see the attachment for further information. The attached file is the document you requested. 5
Closing Statements 締めの言葉 If we can be of any further assistance, please let us know. If I can help in any way, please do not hesitate to contact me. If you require more information. For further details. Thank you for your help. We hope you are happy with this arrangement. Talking about the future 次につなげる I look forward to hearing from you. I hope to hear from you soon. We are looking forward to working with you at ABC. I would appreciate your response at your earliest convenience. Complimentary close 結び言葉 Regards, Best regards, Best wishes Best Yours sincerely Yours faithfully Quiz #1 6
Section 3 Case Study Communication Breakdown Background Taro Watanabe, a project member at ABC, has been communicating with Andy Jones, a member of the same project in the USA. They have been working together for about three months now. At first Taro thought their communication was going rather smoothly but now he is worried that there is a problem. Some requests Taro makes are not answered and he feels that Andy may be irritated as his emails are often very short and blunt. For example, Taro received a reply to his email below that was just two sentences: What do you want me to do? and Why are you copying this to so many people? To: Andy Jones CC: Hideki Terauchi; Masao Kakinuma; Yuuki Taguchi; Sakurako Iizuka Subject: This is Taro Watanabe of ABC Dear Mr. Jones, This is Taro Watanabe at ABC. Thank you for your cooperation as always. I hope that you are doing well. Over here in Japan it continues to be hot and humid. Your work on the XYZ project is very valuable to us and we are very happy that you are part of our team. Our project is moving along well thanks to you. You always provide us with the data that we need very quickly. This really helps us. By the way, Dr. Terauchi was in my office today looking over the latest report. He seems to be confused by the reporting system and he asked me to write to you to explain something. In our laboratories in Japan we follow some certain rules about how we report data. There is a certain format that we use so I hope you understand. I am sorry to trouble you with this. Thank you for your cooperation. I have attached the form that we use here in Japan for your reference. Best regards, Taro Watanabe 1. Discuss What could be the problem(s)? A. Culture B. Language barrier C. Andy is rude 7
2. Discuss this case study with a partner. Make a list of some of the problems. Report on some of these problems to the class. Rhetoric Introduction to rhetoric Rhetoric: the art of discourse either written or oral. Techniques used to select, organize and present a message so that it is most effective. English rhetoric based on ancient Greek tradition. -Differences between speaking and writing: Speaking is acquired while writing is learned. Differences between Japanese and American communication A lot of the difficulty English speakers and Japanese have in communicating with one another is not based solely on grammar and vocabulary. Some difficulties are the result of how Japanese and English speakers view what is appropriate in communication: What should be said, what should be left out, how the communication is organized and how it is presented. In other words Japanese and English speakers often have different cultural expectations about what makes an effective message. Neither is better. There is no right or wrong. Basically: English Communication is direct, linear and doesn t go off topic. Japanese Communication is indirect. A topic is not addressed head on, but is viewed from various perspectives, working around and around the point. Below are some examples of cultural differences that may cause communication problems in email? (Discussion) High-context cultures vs. low-context cultures Direct vs. Indirect Cooperation vs. Competition Politeness vs. Efficiency Results vs. method Quiz #2 8
Section 4 Politeness As we have seen, one concern many non-native speakers have when writing in English is sounding rude to their readers. Using the correct tone is important in creating a good impression. However, there is also a danger of being too polite and focusing more on this than on the message. Also, some of the aspects that sound polite in Japanese may be lost in translation. Consider the email below: Read the email. What is the message? Subject: News about Branch Office Dear Staffs, The season of spring is coming to us and we sincerely hope that you will enjoy continued health and that you will continue to be prosperous more and more. In particular, we wish to thank you for your participation in all of our programs. Thank you. Now, regarding our business expansion. As a result of our success, we have become able to open a new branch office (please see below). This will take effect on December 14 th 2013. It would be appreciated if you could kindly make a note of our new location. Taking this opportunity, we should strive to improve more and more. I have renewed the feelings of all staff here. We appreciate your continued support. Sincerely yours, Makoto Abe ABC New branch office 1890 Spring Garden Street, Suite 401, Greensboro, North Carolina, 27412 Tel: +1 333-333-5555 Fax: +1 333-333-4444 Can you think of a better way to write this? * Rewrite this email using your PC 9
Example rewrite Subject: Notice of New Branch Office Dear Project X Members, We are pleased to announce that effective December 14 th 2013 we will be opening a new branch office at the following address: 1890 Spring Garden Street, Suite 401, Greensboro, North Carolina, 27412 Tel: +1 333-333-5555 Fax: +1 333-333-4444 This new office will provide us access to companies and institutions located in the southern districts of the United States. Sincerely, Makoto Abe ABC Basically, it is better to be more than less polite. Generally speaking email is more formal than a phone call and less formal than a business letter. Also, as we have seen, Japanese tend to favour politeness over efficiency as a cultural tendency while Americans favour efficiency over politeness. In conclusion, it is important to be polite, but keep in mind that the message is most important. Tone Read over the emails below. They are not polite. Rewrite them so that they sound more polite. Email A To: All facility members From: Boss Subject: Dress Code Many visitors come to our facility and I am embarrassed at the way you are dressed. It s time you took this facility seriously and stopped dressing like you re on a holiday. We need to make a good impression! Boss * Rewrite this email using your PC 10
Email B To: Mark Chapman From: Joe Smith Subject: You made a big mistake Mark, You made a big mistake and sent me the wrong data. Now I can t do my work. Send me the right data immediately. Joe * Rewrite this email using your PC Email C To: Joseph Johnstone From: Mike Box Subject: Meeting Hi Joey, We have a meeting tomorrow. Do you remember that? Let me know if you have any questions. Later dude, Mike * Rewrite this email using your PC 11
Section 5 Rewrite This Japanese writer is perhaps thinking in terms of Japanese rhetoric and culture. Rewrite this message to sound more natural and concise. Subject: Information Dear Mr. Adams Thank you for your continuous support. Also, thank you for visiting our office today and I really enjoyed it. After the visit, I found out several questions on the page ten of the report, so let me ask them during a next meeting. I look forward to seeing you on next Friday. The weather is getting hotter and hotter. Please take care of your health. By the way, we normally use the small meeting room on the third floor, but due to air conditioning renovation, it ll be switched into a meeting room two on the fourth floor. Please be reminded of that. Best regards, Keiko Kubo * Rewrite this email using your PC Section 6 Writing Practice 1. Professor Jones is coming to ABC HQ. You are in charge of communicating with her and arranging her travel to Japan. Write Dr. Jones an email introducing yourself. Also, find out when she will be arriving, flight number, if she needs help getting to ABC from Narita, help with reserving a hotel, etc. 2. One of your team members just returned from an overseas business trip. You want to find out what happened in the meetings he/she attended. Ask him/her for a summary of the trip. Ask him/her to send you the information as soon as possible. 3. You need a progress report on a project that is related to yours. Ask the team leader of that project to summarize the progress of their team or department. Tell the team leader that you think it is important for your teams to work more closely together in the future. 4. You sent an important e-mail to your counterpart last week but you have not yet received a reply. Send another e-mail to ask why there has been such a delay. 5. You are about to attend a very important meeting and you need some information from your project team before attending that meeting. Request the information that you need. 12
Follow-up Writing Tasks 以下の 10 個のテーマの中から 2 つ選び メールを書きます メールの内容はテーマに基づいて自由に 考えて構いません 1. とある重要メールを数日間気付かず 返信が遅れてしまったことに対して謝罪する (Self-fulfilling) 2. 会議を予定していたが どうしても外せない用件が入り 相手にお断りを入れる (Self-fulfilling) 3. 予定していた会議を不要と感じたので 実施しなくても良いか尋ねたい (Enquiry) 4. とある国際イベントに際し 先方がアジェンダを考えることになっていたが そのアジェンダが決まった かどうか尋ねたい (Enquiry) 5. イベントの開催日程が変更になったことを知らせたい (Open ended) 6. シンポジウムで名刺交換をした先方に対し 御礼と併せて ABC の再度の紹介をする (Open ended) 7. 書類 ( 契約書など ) に不備があり 修正版を送ってほしいが 締切期日が迫っているため 必ず 締切までに再送することを強調して依頼したい (Action) 8. 面識のない方に 環境イベントでの講演を依頼したい (Action) 9. 講演者が 事前ミーティングで打ち合わせをするアジェンダを誤解しており 正しいアジェンダを理解 してミーティングに来てもらうように依頼したい (Action) 10. その他 自分の仕事に関連するシチュエーション 13