Three Ways to Clarify Your Writing

Transcription

1 GENERAL WRITING ADVICE Three Ways to Clarify Your Writing Write as if your reader were lazy, stupid, and mean. Lazy: He or she will not take the trouble to figure out what you mean if it is not blazingly obvious. Stupid: He or she will misinterpret you if at all possible. Mean: He or she will misinterpret you in a way that makes you look bad if at all possible. Be clear. Be precise. Be explicit. Here are three more specific tips. TIP 1. THIS + NOUN Consider the following passage. Example 1. Nietzsche claims that the Socratic equation Reason = Virtue = Happiness is the weirdest equation ever seen and that this was opposed to all the instincts of the Homeric heroes. To what does the word this in this sentence refer? The simple change of adding a noun after this makes the sentence significantly easier to read. Example 2. Nietzsche claims that the Socratic equation Reason = Virtue = Happiness is the weirdest equation ever seen and that this equation was opposed to all the instincts of the Homeric heroes. Remember: if your meaning is not blazingly obvious, your lazy reader will not take the trouble to figure it out. Consider another example. Example 3. Hume argues that induction cannot be justified. This implies that science lacks a rational basis. This is a problem for anyone who thinks that we should generally believe the claims of science. Example 4. Hume argues that induction cannot be justified. This implies that science lacks a rational basis. This is a problem for anyone who thinks that we should generally believe the claims of science. 1

2 Tip 1. Never use the word this without a noun immediately following it. The same rule applies to that when it is used in a place where this could have been used instead. Example 5. This course will develop your skill in distinguishing between good and bad arguments. That comes in handy when listening to talk radio. Example 6. This course will develop your skill in distinguishing between good and bad arguments. That comes in handy when listening to talk radio. and are just the plural counterparts of this and that, respectively, so they should always be followed by too. Sometimes the best way to revise a sentence that uses this without a noun is to rewrite the sentence in a way that doesn t use this at all. Example 7. Nietzsche claims that the Socratic equation Reason = Virtue = Happiness is the weirdest equation ever seen and that it was opposed to all the instincts of the Homeric heroes. Note: Using this without a noun is generally fine when speaking because you can use gestures to indicate what you re talking about. Exercises Revise the following passages, either by placing a noun after this / that / these / those or by rewriting the sentence in a way that does not use those works. 1. Aristotle s theory of the virtues is complex. This makes it difficult to summarize. 2. Writing this without a noun makes your writing harder to follow and can give rise to genuine ambiguity. Readers are lazy, stupid, and mean, so that is bad. 2

3 TIP 2. LET YOUR SUBJECTS BE SUBJECTS Example 8. Descartes considered the possibility that an evil demon was deceiving him about everything he believed. What is the main verb of the sentence in Example 8? Who or what is performing the action of the verb? What word is the grammatical subject of the verb? Example 9. The possibility that an evil demon was deceiving him about everything he believed was considered by Descartes. What is the main verb of the sentence in Example 9? Who or what is performing the action of the verb? What word is the grammatical subject of the verb? Example 8 is in active voice, which means that the person or thing that performs the action of the main verb is the verb s grammatical. Example 9 is in passive voice, which means that Sentences in passive voice are harder to read because their grammatical structure does not reflect the structure of the story they tell. Tip 2. Let your subjects be subjects: write in voice. Testing for Passive Voice Test 1 3

4 One way to discern whether a sentence is in active or passive voice is to ask the following questions. 1. What is the main verb? 2. Who or what is performing the action of that verb? 3. Is that person or thing the grammatical subject of that verb? If the answer to question 3 is yes, then the sentence is in voice. If the answer to question 3 is no, then the sentence is in voice. Test 2 The following sentences illustrate clues for spotting passive voice. Arguments are given by philosophers. The problem of induction was presented by Hume. Nietzsche s position is often misunderstood. Sentences in passive voice contain the participle form of the verb, which is sometimes the same as the past tense (e.g. presented) but not always (e.g. given). Sentences in passive voice contain a form of as a helping verb. If a sentence is in passive voice, then the person or thing who performs the action of the main verb either is missing from the sentence or comes after the word. When to Use Passive Voice Occasionally, there is no specific person or thing who performs the action of the verb. Example 10. When Descartes s historical context is known, his motivation for considering radical doubt becomes clear. Who or what does the knowing? No one in particular. However, there are ways to improve this sentence by rewriting it in passive voice. For instance: Example 11. Descartes s motivation for considering radical doubt is clear in light of his historical context. Passive voice is occasionally the best choice when no particular person or thing performs the action of the verb. However, you should always look for active-voice alternatives. 4

5 Passive voice is sometimes used to conceal agency. For instance, public figures who say mistakes were made are using the passive voice to avoid having to say who made the mistakes. Writers in some academic disciplines use the passive voice to avoid writing I. It is considered appropriate to use I in philosophy, particularly in an introduction. (e.g. In Section 2, I argue that ) Exercises Revise the following sentences. 1. I think, therefore I am was written by Descartes. 2. Understanding a philosophical text is made much easier by good reading practices. TIP 3. LET YOUR VERBS BE VERBS Sentences like Example 12 are common in academic writing. Example 12. Once upon a time, as a walk through the woods was taking place on the part of Little Red Riding Hood, the wolf s jump-out from behind a tree happened, causing fright in Little Red. The grammatical verbs in Example 12 are in bold. 1 Underline words in the sentence that are not verbs but do indicate actions. Changing the action words that are not verbs in Example 12 into verbs yields Example 13, which sounds like something a normal person would write: Example 13. Once upon a time, as Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods, the Wolf jumped out from behind a tree, frightening Little Red. Compare the verbs in Example 12 to those in Example 13: 1 Grammar nerds might notice that causing is technically a participle rather than a verb. 5

6 Example 12 was taking place happened causing Example 13 was walking jumped frightening Which sentence s verbs are more specific and lively? Tests for Violations of Let Your Verbs Be Verbs Test 1 To spot violations of the let your verbs be verbs rule, look for vague, lifeless verbs like was taking place, happened, and causing. Test 2 To spot violations of the let your verbs be verbs rule, look for actions words disguised as nouns. Such nouns often end in -tion or -ment and are called nominalizations. Tip 3. Let your be : don t nominalize! Exercise Write the verb that corresponds to each nominalization. Nominalization Argument Verb Agreement Production Utilization Nominalization Analysis Support 6

7 How to Revise There are many ways to revise sentences that contain nominalizations. Often the best way is simply to turn the nominalization into a verb. For instance: Example 14. Giere gives an argument against the claim that data that are in agreement with a given model always provide support for that model. Example 15. Giere against the claim that data that with a given model always that model. Notice how the wordy Example 15 becomes short and punchy when we let its verbs be verbs. Nominalizations are occasionally appropriate, especially for technical terms like nominalization. However, you should always look for ways to let your verbs be verbs. Exercises 1. Jane made the decision to become a philosophy major. 2. I have a dream that one day a rising up will take place on the part of this nation, and a living out of the true meaning of its creed. SUMMARY Assume your reader is,, and. Do not use the word without a Let your be : use voice. Let your be : don t nominalize! PROBLEMS Revise the following passages drawn from actual academic writing. [Removed for online posting] 7