for Hundreds of Ready-to-Use Phrases to Set the Stage for Productive Conversations, Meetings, and Events Meryl Runion with Diane Windingland

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1 PERFECT PHRASES for Hundreds of Ready-to-Use Phrases to Set the Stage for Productive Conversations, Meetings, and Events Meryl Runion with Diane Windingland Mc Graw Hill New York Chicago San Francisco Lisbon London Madrid Mexico City Milan New Delhi San Juan Seoul Singapore Sydney Toronto

2 Contents Foreword xiii Preface xv Acknowledgments xvii Introduction xix The Opening to a Book about Openings xx Your First Step Matters Most xxi The New World of Business Relating xxii Purpose-Driven Icebreakers Trump the Trite The Power of Preparation xxiv Extroverts Don't Own Ice Breaking xxiv The Effectiveness of Perfectly Phrased Questions xxv How to Use This Book xxvi xxiii Section 1 WHY: Purpose-Driven Icebreakers 1 Perfect Phrases to Highlight the Conversation or Meeting Topic 2 Perfect Phrases to Uncover Assumptions, Desires, and Expectations 3 Perfect Phrases to Get People to Focus on Outcomes 4 v

3 CONTENTS Perfect Phrases to Build Rapport 6 Perfect Phrases to Inspire Collaboration 8 Perfect Phrases to Pique Curiosity in Your Message 11 Perfect Phrases to Expand Limited Mindsets 12 Perfect Phrases to Transform Resistance 14 Perfect Phrases to Inspire People to Share Resources and Support 17 Perfect Phrases to Get People Asking Good Questions 20 Perfect Phrases to Initiale Spontaneous Interaction 23 Perfect Phrases to Encourage Engagement and Participation 25 Perfect Phrases to Encourage Openness, Authenticity, and Airing Concerns 26 Perfect Phrases to Initiate Feedback 29 Perfect Phrases to Initiate Creative Brainstorming 31 Perfect Phrases to Add Levity to a Conversation or Meeting 32 Perfect Phrases to Get Current Since the Last Conversation or Gathering 35 Perfect Phrases to Give a Conversation or Meeting Overview 36 Perfect Phrases to Learn about People 37 Perfect Phrases to Help People Remember Names 39 Perfect Phrases to Uncover Strengths and Talents 40 Perfect Phrases to Inspire Performance Excellence 42

4 CONTENTS «- Perfect Phrases to Acknowledge Someone Going through Major Change 43 Perfect Phrases to Acknowledge Challenges from Change 44 Perfect Phrases to Introduce Sensitive Subjects 47 Section 2 HOW: Method-Driven Icebreakers 50 Questions 50 Humor 52 Self-Disclosure 53 General Observations 54 Introductions 56 Business Cards and Name Tags 58 Listening Phrases 59 Appreciation 62 Interest 63 Stories 65 Activities 67 Section 3 WHO: People-Driven Icebreakers 71 Perfect Phrases to Break the Ice When Interviewing Job Candidates 71 New Employees 74

5 CONTENTS New Colleagues and Associates 76 Supervisors and Leaders 77 People Lower on Your Org Chart 78 Industry Professionals 80 Service People 81 Suppliers 82 Potential Strategie Partners 83 Potential Customers and Clients 85 Gatekeepers 86 Competitors 87 People from Other Cultures 89 People with Disabilities 90 Perfect Phrases to Break the Ice When You Have a Disability 91 People Who Can Help You Succeed 92

6 CONTENTS 4- Section 4 WHAT: Topic-Driven Icebreakers 94 Weather 94 Recreation and Hobbies 95 Clothes 96 Professional Sports 98 Family 99 Current Events 101 Movies and Entertainment 102 Books 103 Technology 104 Immediately Shared Experiences 106 Success 107 Possibilities 109 Mistakes and Learning Experiences 111

7 -» CONTENTS Desired Outcomes 112 Best Practices 113 Personality and Communication Styles 115 Personal Traits 116 What We're Proud Of 117 Holidays 119 Preferences and Peeves 120 Attitudes 121 Words 124 Responsibility and Accountability 126 Doubts, Worries, and Concerns 128 Section 5 WHEN and WHERE: Situation and Location-Based Icebreakers 130 Perfect Phrases to Break the Ice at Networking Events 130 Perfect Phrases to Break the Ice at Professional and Industry Gatherings 132

8 CONTENTS 4- Perfect Phrases to Break the Ice at Office Socials 133 Perfect Phrases to Break the Ice at Industry Parties 134 Perfect Phrases to Break the Ice at Lunch and Dinner Meetings 135 Perfect Phrases to Break the Ice at Board Meetings 137 Perfect Phrases to Break the Ice at Business Meetings 138 Perfect Phrases to Break the Ice at Association Meetings 139 Perfect Phrases to Break the Ice at Conferences 140 Perfect Phrases to Break the Ice at Training Events 141 Perfect Phrases to Break the Ice at New Employee Orientation Employers 143 Perfect Phrases to Break the Ice at New Employee Orientation Employees 145 Perfect Phrases to Break the Ice at Routine Staff Meetings 146 Perfect Phrases to Break the Ice at Intermittent Meetings 147 Perfect Phrases to Break the Ice at Procedura! Update Meetings 148 Perfect Phrases to Break the Ice at Budget Meetings 150 Perfect Phrases to Break the Ice at Strategie Meetings 151

9 -» CONTENTS Perfect Phrases to Break the Ice at New Team Formation Meetings 152 Perfect Phrases to Break the Ice Online 155 Summary and Conclusion 157 Appendix Phrases to Find Partners and Form Croups 158

ux BEST PRACTICES How To Achieve More Impact With User Experience Helmut Degen and XiaoweiYuan With support of Nan Guo Graw

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