Welcome to the Marriage Preparation Course MARRIAGE a journey not a destination A journey of learning, interacting and growing together with others toward the most significant experience of your life MARRIAGE. The best way to benefit from this course is to participate, be honest with yourself and be open to others, and be bold enough to share. Get to know each other and make new friends. ENJOY YOURSELF AND HAVE A GREAT TIME. ST. JAMES COMMUNITY SERVICES FAMILY LIFE MINISTRY MARRIAGE PREPARATION COURSE
HELPFUL INFORMATION FOR MARRYING COUPLES 1. THE MARRIAGE PREPARATION COURSE (MPC) This course is based on Biblical and Christian principles of marriage, for registered members of St James Church (at least one party). Over the five sessions spent together you will learn important principles that will enable you to build a stronger foundation for your marriage. Topics include: The importance of commitment How to recognise and appreciate your differences The art of communication Resolving conflict Spending time together Nurturing your friendship Making each other feel loved Developing a good sexual relationship The importance of talking about your goals, values and dreams Each session a live talk is given or a video of the talk played. There will be breaks in between for you and your partner to share with each other. At the end of each session you will be given some homework to do together. This will help you to build on what you have learnt and give you the opportunity to apply it to your relationship. Currently the MPC is only for members of St James Church, and scheduled to run only once a year. For more information, please contact the Family Life Ministry at familylife@sjc.org.sg or call 64690715. Cost * The following fees will be charged per couple: Registration Fee : S$ 20 Course Fee : S$ 40 TJTA & PREPARE Assessment : S$120 Total : S$180 Please note that these fees do not include the cost of the Weekend Away. Stay-over rates are subjected to location and number of participants, which will be released to you at a later date. The church reserves the right to change these fees without prior notice. 2. FURTHER GUIDELINES a. Sign up for this course at least 12 to 18 months before your planned wedding date. b. You are expected to commit fully to the duration of this course, and participate actively in it. c. Book your wedding date with the Vicar s Personal Assistant if you have intention of having him solemnized your wedding. d. If you are using the church s premises for your wedding, book the facilities with the Facilities Department, after you have booked your wedding date with the Vicar s office. (Note: Booking of church facilities for wedding is currently not available until further notice. You will be advised on alternative venues available.) e. One of the pastors will guide you through your wedding preparations. 1
3. COUPLE SESSIONS Every couple is required to have at least two 2-hour private sessions (or more) with the Support Couple to complete their Marriage Preparation Course. These sessions can be scheduled without having to wait for the course to end first. However, they should be completed within 3 months after the last session of the MPC course. To arrange for couple sessions, please note the following: a. Book the appointment via email with your Support Couple. Your Support Couple will ensure that the Counselling Room is available for your session. b. As the main function of the Counselling Room is to provide counselling for diverse problems and needs, MPC Couple Sessions may be overridden if there is an urgent counselling need or a crisis. However, we will keep cancellation to the minimum and will reschedule at the earliest possible slot should such crisis arise. 4. MARRIAGE LICENCE You will need to apply for your marriage licence at the Registry of Marriages (ROM) at least 1½ months before your wedding date. a. Check the ROM website: www.rom.gov.sg to apply for the marriage license. Once the notice of marriage is filed, the marriage can be solemnized anytime after the 21- day notice and before the 3-month validity period. If you are having your marriage solemnised at the church, the licence must be handed to the solemnising pastor at least one week before the solemnisation. b. On the day of collection of certificates and notice, both the bride and bridegroom are to be present with the following: For Singaporeans: Bring along your identity cards and birth certificates. For Singapore Permanent residents and not holding any Singapore identity card: Bring along your valid Entry Permits/Re-Entry Permits. For Malaysians: Bring along your identity cards, birth certificates and passports. For other nationalities: Bring along your passports and birth certificates. c. Marriage documents Marriage certificate (Section 31) is to be kept by the couple. Marriage certificate (Section 28 & 29) and notice are to be returned to ROM within 3 days from date of marriage. 5. APPENDICES FOR REFERENCE Appendix 1 - Arrangement for Ceremony Appendix 2 - Key Helpers Job description Appendix 3 - Sample of Wedding Bulletin For further enquiries, please contact the Family Life Ministry at Tel: +65 6469 0715. 2 Reviewed on 07 Jan 2010
Appendix 1 Arrangement for Ceremony (Discuss the order and details of the ceremony with the Pastor) 1. Order of Service Wedding Bulletins Prelude Opening Prayer Congregational Songs Yes / No If yes, please submit a draft to pastor for approval Processional Music Bride is accompanied by Page boy (not below 4 years old) Ring bearer (not below 4 years old) Flower girls (not below 4 years old) Yes / No Yes / No Yes / No Exhortation Blessing of Marriage Exchange of Wedding vow Exchange of Ring vow Signing of Marriage/Blessing Certificate Holy Communion Special item during Communion Yes / No Unity Candle Yes / No With mothers Without mothers Formal Blessing Recessional Music
2. People involved in Wedding Role Name & Contact Number 1. Coordinator : 2. Solemnizing Minister : 3. Officiating Minister : 4. Master of Ceremonies : 5. Interpreter : 6. Groom s Witness : 7. Bride s Witness : 8. Best Man : 9. Bridesmaid (optional) : 10. Flower Girl (optional) : 11. Page Boy or Ring Bearer : 12. Chief Usher : 13. Ushers : 14. Guest Registrars : 15. Special Item (optional) : 16. Worship Leader IC : 17. Sound / Visual Coordinator : 18. Photographer : 19. Videographer : 20. Sanctuary Decorator : 21. Food Coordinator : 22. Clean Up Coordinator : 23. Logistics Coordinator : 24. Traffic Marshals :
Appendix 2 Key Helpers Job Description 1. Coordinator 1.1 Before Rehearsal a. Arrange to pick up the kneeling rail for Holy Communion and the unity candle stand from the church. b. Arrange for a table for signing of marriage certificate and unity candle stand. c. Prepare 3 candles and a lighter for the unity candle segment (if applicable). d. Ensure that the following people are contacted and reminded to be present for the rehearsal at least 15 minutes before the scheduled time: 1.2 During Rehearsal Master of Ceremony (MC) Flower girl Interpreter (if applicable) Page Boy Best Man Ring bearer Bridesmaid Decorator Chief Usher and Ushers Photographers Musicians Videographers a. Ensure that the kneeling rail and the table are set up and in position. b. Arrange for the table to be covered with tablecloth/skirting. c. Arrange the following items (wherever applicable) neatly on the table: Marriage Certificate Wick holder Unity Candle stand and 3 candles Lighter Communion cup & plate Pen d. Brief photographers/videographers that in no circumstances are they to be on stage or block the movements of the whole ceremony. e. Note the order of ceremony and run it in consultation with the Pastor. f. Take note of the timing to signal for Chief Usher to escort the groom s parents to seat. Thereafter, to escort the bride s mother in. g. Take the cue from the MC s announcement for congregation to welcome the bride and coordinate the entry of the following people in this order: 1. Page boy 3. Bridesmaid(s) 2. Flower girl(s) 4. Bride escorted by the father h. Take note of all the comments and suggestion given by the pastor and ensure that they are followed through for the wedding. i. Discuss with the wedding couple the order of photo-taking, decorations, receptions, etc., for the wedding ceremony to run smoothly. j. Keep the kneeling rail and unity candle stand before leaving the facility. 1
1.3 Wedding Day 1.3.1 Before the Ceremony commence a. Ensure that the people in 1.1.d contacted and reminded to be at present at least 1 hour before scheduled time. b. Ensure that the decorations are nicely done. c. Ensure that the kneeling rail and the table are set up and in position. d. The table is to be covered with table cloth/skirting. Arrange the following items (wherever applicable) neatly on the table: Marriage Certificate Wick holder Unity Candle stand and 3 candles Lighter & Pen Communion cup filled with juice & bread/wafers on the plate e. Coordinate the setting up of guest registration counter and the ushers duties. 1.3.2 During the Ceremony a. At the appointed time, signal for Chief Usher to escort the groom s parents to seat. Therefore, to escort the bride s mother in. b. When most guests have arrived, arrange for the bride to be present at the entrance. The guests should not be kept waiting for more than 30 minutes after scheduled time. (Ensure that bride is veiled.) c. Note the order of ceremony and take charge. d. Listen to the MC s announcement for congregation to stand to welcome the bride, control timing of entry of the following in this order: 1. Page boy 3. Bridesmaid(s) 2. Flower girl(s) 4. Bride escorted by the father 1.3.3 After the Ceremony a. Direct the couple to the reception table after appreciating their guests. b. Assist the couple in giving out appreciation gifts to workers involved in the ceremony. cutting of cake couple to give toast and make speeches (optional) different groups of guests to take photos with the couple 2
2. Master of Ceremony (MC) For both Rehearsal and Actual Day a. Be present 30 minutes before the scheduled time. Check the sound system in the presence of the sound coordinator. b. Discuss with the pastor about his script and note the order of service. c. To make announcements and lead worship. After the worship announce the arrival of the bride. d. At the pastor s signal, guide the ring bearer to walk up the stage. e. During communion, pass the emblem to the pastor. f. While the couple is partaking communion, discreetly remove the chair and the marriage certificate and arrange the items for the unity candle segment. g. After the unity candle segment, take both cushions from the kneeling rail and place in the centre of the stage. h. After the ceremony, announce with regards to the reception and photo-taking. If a Reception / Dinner follow the Ceremony a. Give thanks for the food. b. Announce the following at the appropriate time: cutting of cake couple to give toast and make speeches (optional) different groups of guests to take photos with the couple 3. Chief Usher For both Rehearsal and Actual Day a. Be present 30 minutes before the scheduled time. b. Escort parents in at the signal of the coordinator. c. Escort the witnesses up the stage for the signing of the marriage certificate. d. Escort the mothers up the stage for the unity candle segment. If a Reception / Dinner follow the Ceremony a. Ensure that tables are properly identified. b. Coordinate duties of all ushers. c. Coordinate guests registration counter. 3
Appendix 3 Sample of Wedding Bulletin THE HOLY MATRIMONY OF < BRIDEGROOM S NAME > & < BRIDE S NAME > ON < DATE > AT < VENUE > ORDER OF SERVICE MUSICAL PRELUDE SONGS OF WORSHIP PROCESSIONAL EXHORTATION SOLEMNIZATION (OR BLESSING) OR MARRIAGE EXCHANGE OF VOWS EXCHANGE OF RINGS SIGNING OF MARRIAGE (OR BLESSING) REGISTER HOLY COMMUNION (Special Item) UNITY CANDLE (Optional) FORMAL BLESSING RECESSIONAL NOTE: 1. Remove any item that is not in the order of service. 2. Do not assign names to the Order of Service. 3. Do include map of location.