Romeo and Juliet: Werewolves vs. Vampires By Royce Roeswood (Excerpts may be used royalty free for auditions.) AUDITION #1-- for 5m, 4w. In this scene, Romeo, Mercutio, and Benvolio have crashed Countess Vampulet s party. (EVERYONE dances. MERCUTIO does solo moves. When the song ends, the crowd parts, to reveal ROMEO and JULIET, dancing next to each other.) JULIET: My, what big teeth you have. ROMEO: All the better to smile at you with. JULIET: My, what big ears you have. ROMEO: All the better to hear you with. JULIET: My, what a hairy face you have. ROMEO: All the better to hmm, that's a hard one. JULIET: I've never seen you before. ROMEO: I'm not from around here. JULIET: I can tell. Wow, it feels like something is finally happening. This is exciting. ROMEO: May I kiss you? JULIET: Sure! (ROMEO holds up his cape to hide their faces.) JULIET: (Cont d.) Wow! (ROMEO howls like a wolf.) JULIET: (Cont d.) What was that? ROMEO: Uh, nothing. TYBALT: Hold on, stop everything. There are definitely intruders at this party. I can hear them. COUNTESS VAMPULET: Are you sure? (TYBALT sweeps around the party dramatically, inspecting
EVERYONE.) ROMEO: I have to go. But we'll meet again. JULIET: Wait, where are you going? TYBALT: (Pulls ROMEO away to examine him.) There is something very strange about you. Are you a werewolf? ROMEO: No, I'm wearing this vampire cape, see? TYBALT: Hmm, I don't know. ROMEO: Why would I be wearing a vampire cape if I were not a vampire? TYBALT: Yes, I suppose that's true. Alright, party on. (ROMEO escapes from TYBALT.) MERCUTIO: My dance was amazing! What did you think, Benvolio? BENVOLIO: Your dance was so amazing that we should go right now. You know, leave on a high note. MERCUTIO: Are you enjoying yourself, Romeo? ROMEO: I just met the most amazing girl. I would have talked to her longer but that angry vampire got in the way. BENVOLIO: Romeo, I don't want to get in trouble because of you and some vampire girl. MERCUTIO: That's not just some vampire girl. That's Juliet, the daughter of Countess Vampulet. ROMEO: Juliet! What a beautiful name! BENVOLIO: Are you crazy? She is a vampire with a capital V. ROMEO: I don't care. I'm in love with her. I'm going to marry her. BENVOLIO: Whoa, slow down, Romeo. You're falling in love too fast, just like always. ROMEO: You're wrong. This is different. MERCUTIO: It looks like my plan has worked! Romeo is back to his old self. PARIS: Juliet, would you like to take a walk around the graveyard? JULIET: Just a moment. Nurse, I just met the most amazing boy.
PARIS: Oh, Juliet, I'm flattered. NURSE: Who is it? JULIET: (Pointing across the room to ROMEO.) That one. Do you know his name? PARIS: My name is Paris. JULIET: Not you. NURSE: Paris, why don't you get Juliet a cup of blood punch? PARIS: Certainly. It will be my solemn duty. (Drifts away.) JULIET: (Pointing at ROMEO.) Who is that boy? NURSE: I am pretty sure that is Romeo, the son of Lady Wolfague, wearing a very obvious vampire disguise. JULIET: He's a werewolf? I've never met a werewolf before! And I just kissed him! NURSE: Juliet, you are crazy. If your mother finds out, she'll nail your coffin shut. JULIET: I know. But it was fun to pretend, just for a little bit. Oh, it's not fair! TYBALT: This is driving me crazy! I know there is a werewolf here. I just know it! COUNTESS VAMPULET: Calm down, Tybalt. TYBALT: I will not calm down! I want to fight a wolf! Why won't you let me fight a wolf? COUNTESS VAMPULET: There is no fighting at parties. TYBALT: Then I am going to have my own party. It will be a fight party. Who wants to come to my fight party? (EVERYONE looks at TYBALT then looks away.) TYBALT: (Cont d.) Fine! Then I will go to my own fight party and fight myself! (TYBALT exits.) PRINCESS: Fight parties are forbidden! PARIS: (To JULIET.) Here is the cup of blood punch. JULIET: I don't want blood punch! I want to punch you in the blood! I'm going to my room. (JULIET exits. ROMEO also exits, sneakily.)
PARIS: I'm not sure what I did wrong. NURSE: It's okay. I'll take some blood punch. You come with me. (Pulls PARIS off stage.) BENVOLIO: Where's Romeo? MERCUTIO: I didn't see him leave. BENVOLIO: We should go find him before he does something stupid again. (BENVOLIO and MERCUTIO exit.) COUNTESS VAMPULET: Another excellent party from Countess Vampulet! AH, AH, AH! (Exeunt.) AUDITION #2-- for 1 m, 2 w In this scene, Romeo goes to Dr. Laurence in an attempt to marry Juliet. ROMEO: Dr. Laurence, I need a favor. DR. LAURENCE: How can I help you? ROMEO: You can perform weddings, right? DR. LAURENCE: Yes, in Transylvania all mad scientists can perform weddings. It's one of those wacky laws you read about. ROMEO: I want to get married. DR. LAURENCE: That is a great first step. Now all you need is someone to marry you. ROMEO: Yes, she said yes. DR. LAURENCE: You asked Rosaline to marry you? ROMEO: Oh, no, not Rosaline, that's old history. DR. LAURENCE: So you've met someone new and suddenly you want to marry her? ROMEO: Yes. It's TRUE LOVE. DR. LAURENCE: True love, you say? Romeo, I'm not sure. Who is this girl?
ROMEO: Juliet, the daughter of Countess Vampulet. DR. LAURENCE: A Wolfague wants to marry a Vampulet? That's unheard of. ROMEO: Dr. Laurence, please, you must. DR. LAURENCE: A fascinating prospect. If a werewolf marries a vampire, will the children be werewolves or vampires? Or will they be wolfpires? Think of what we could learn on these new frontiers of science! ROMEO: Um, okay. DR. LAURENCE: Also, I suppose a marriage could put this feud between the vampires and the werewolves to an end, and finally bring peace to Transylvania. ROMEO: So will you marry us? DR. LAURENCE: I don't know if it is a good idea, but I will say yes anyway. ROMEO: Good, because Juliet should be here any minute. (JULIET appears in the doorway.) JULIET: I flew here as fast as I could. Can I come in? DR. LAURENCE: Please do. (JULIET enters.) DR. LAURENCE: (Cont d.) Juliet, are you sure you want to marry Romeo? JULIET: Yes, I'm sure. DR. LAURENCE: Okay, I'll get the marriage ray. ROMEO: I'm so excited! My fur is tingly. JULIET: This is going to be so much fun! What could possibly go wrong? DR. LAURENCE: Alright, let me just change the setting to holy matrimony. Now, after I fire the marriage ray at both of you, you will be married. ROMEO: Are you sure that's how it works? DR. LAURENCE: Who's the scientist here, you or me? Kneel down in front of each other. Are you ready? JULIET: Shouldn't we say something first? DR. LAURENCE: If you must.
JULIET: Romeo Wolfague, I promise to love you until I die. ROMEO: Juliet Vampulet, I promise to love you until I die. DR. LAURENCE: I find these vows to be neither morbid nor ominous. Here we go! (DR. LAURENCE zaps THEM both with the marriage ray.) DR. LAURENCE: (Cont d.) Okay kids, you're married. ROMEO: Wow! JULIET: Yippee! (ROMEO and JULIET leap for joy.) DR. LAURENCE: Now, I think it's best to keep this marriage a secret until I can speak to Lady Wolfague and Countess Vampulet. That way I can explain my plan to each of them and stop the fighting. ROMEO: My muzzle is sealed. JULIET: We'll take the secret to our graves. From: Romeo and Juliet: Werewolves vs. Vampires By Royce Roeswood Published by: Eldridge Publishing Co. http://www.histage.com/playdetails.asp?pid=2544