Mock Sides, Volume 1: Original Scripts for Workshop Actors. Pimp Bobby. by David Dalton & Chad Schnackel
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1 Pimp Bobby by David Dalton & Chad Schnackel Pages: 3+ Characters: 2 women Tanya, Catherine, 40 s Synopsis: Catherine comes to pay her respects at the funeral of her ex-husband, Robert. But it s not until she meets Tanya, when she discovers the secret life Bobby enjoyed. Permission: This script may be used for educational purposes only and may be produced, filmed and videotaped as long as writers and is listed on title credits.
2 INT - FUNERAL HOME - DAY Tanya is viewing the casket of a handsome, yet quite dead Robert. She is also a bit drunk. A tearful Catherine walks up to the casket and stands next to Tanya. He looks so peaceful just lying there. Really? You think so? I just can't believe...are you family? Family? Not really. I guess in a way we were all part of the "family". Funny, Robert never mentioned you. Let's just say I'm just someone who really wishes he was alive. Oh. Yes, he was too young to go. And who are you? I'm Catherine Wilson, Robert's wife His third wife. We were only married for fourteen months, but it was the most wonderful fourteen months of my life. Yes, Robert was certainly an interesting man. Both women stand and stare for a moment. I'm sorry, how do you know Robert? Oh, he was my pimp. Catherine swallows hard, not comprehending what she has just heard.
3 He was... I'm sorry, what did you say? He was my pimp. Are you at the right funeral home? You must be thinking of someone else? This is Robert Morris? Yup, Robert Henry Morris, the nicest pimp any working girl could ever have. Wait, Robert was your pimp? Didn't we just cover that? There has to be some mistake. He was in real estate. Chill, ho. Robert was a pimp. But he was one of the good ones, okay. Never made unreasonable rules, never got into our business, let us have days off when we really need it..and never beat us. He even had a medical insurance for all of us. Us? How many were there? Bobby, well, that's we called him, had fifteen girls. We all lived in real nice clean apartments. Maybe that's where the real estate came from. That just can't be. I met Robert... Bobby. Robert. We met at an open house. He was selling and I was showing. Tanya laughs to herself.
4 Maybe he thought you were selling and wished you were showing. Look here bitch... Hey, I don't want to fight with you lady. I just came here to pay my respects to Bobby. I don't think I will ever find another pimp as good as he was. I mean, who else can help us bring in $80,000 a month and only take 25%? Well you can just take your... (ponders) Did you just say $80,000...A month? Yep. And that's after the apartments and the insurance. Where are these apartments located? Oh, it's the Wilkshire building. Bobby bought it for us. Catherine thinks a moment. She crunches some numbers in her head. You know, I was thinking of buying the Oakwood. I could get you ladies in there, and we can bring our profits up to $100,000. We? What are you saying lady? (sheepishly) Well if you don't mind, I would like to try and fill Robert's shoes. (interrupting) Bobby.
5 Yeah right. Bobby. I am sure we can come up with some sort of arrangement. I don't know. I have to talk to the girls, but if you could think about 20% and day care expenses we might have something. It's definitely something to think about. You know, you are much cooler than that bitch of a 4th wife he had. CUT TO: END
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