Association of Missouri Mediators, Inc. Annual Conference. Resolution What Does It Really Mean?

Transcription

1 Association of Missouri Mediators, Inc. Annual Conference Resolution What Does It Really Mean? Friday, October 30, 2015 Missouri Athletic Club 405 Washington Ave. St. Louis MO

2 Schedule 8:00AM 8:45AM 8:45AM 9:00AM 9:00AM 10:10AM Registration Introductions and Welcome Plenary Session: Resolution - What Does It Really Mean? Sue Bronson Conflicts develop from complex relationships between unpredictable people. As mediators we step into the conflict willingly with a unique mixture of logic, empathy, and creativity. Can conflict be successfully managed without being resolved? What does resolution really mean to each person involved? We will answer these questions (and many others) by looking at levels of resolution, exploring how we identify and meet parties expectations, and assessing our own choices as the intervener. Come ready to explore your own part in the messy, complex interaction of conflict resolution. Sue Bronson, M.S. is a mediator, trainer, and psychotherapist in private practice in Milwaukee, WI since 1983 mediating family, elder, and workplace disputes. Sue has over thirty years of mediation experience helping people engage in quality conversations. Sue Bronson teaches mediation at the University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee School of Continuing Education. Sue currently is the Co-Chair of the ACR Task Force on Eldercaring Coordination. She is a charter member of the Wisconsin Association of Mediators, served on the Academy of Family Mediators board, Past Chair of the ACR Family Section and Past Co-Chair of the ACR Elder Section. 2

3 10:10AM 10:30AM Break 10:30AM 12:00PM Workshops A - C Workshop A: Using a Financial Professional in Mediation Cases Laura Boedges Uncoupling relationships - with their entanglements and emotional charges - is a gargantuan task. Mediators must be courageous, quick-thinking, creative, empathetic, patient, and knowledgeable. Partnering with a Financial Professional assists both the mediator and the parties by helping everyone understand the financials as well as a settlements near and long-term impacts. Mediators and Financial Professionals together help parties to save money, time and emotional energy by making well informed, lasting, fiscally responsible and tax-efficient decisions. Workshop B: Loss and Grief - Mediation s Potential to Heal Lynn Carruth-Rasmussen Have you ever wondered why some parties seem to be so entrenched in their positions or why a seemingly straight forward mediation immediately becomes hostile? One potential explanation is grieving. This interactive session will discuss grief as it manifests itself within the mediation including practitioners theories about how to identify grief, tools for working with grief, what barriers mediators may experience and how bridging mediation and grief will enhance resolution and parties opportunity for stronger resolution. Workshop C: When Do Mediators Go Too Far? Jason Rugo Can mediators go too far? How do you balance true party self-determination with the certainty that a party needs to be walked back from a destructive path, and his counsel is encouraging you to do this? How do you balance your obligations under the Model Standards of Conduct for Mediators with the concept of pushing a party towards a certain ending? This workshop examines a real case situation the presenter found himself in and how he handled it. Written materials will present thoughts of other mediators on similar situations. 12:00PM 1:00PM 1:00PM 1:10PM Lunch and Annual Membership Meeting Break 3

4 1:10PM 2:40PM Workshops D - F Workshop D: This is What Good Looks Like Carol Love & Jeanne Oberdan This presentation will address areas to consider when crafting a good parenting plan to ensure success for families post-divorce. Two family therapists, experienced in the area of high conflict co-parenting will discuss common pitfalls in final decrees. We will include a discussion of the dangers of Right of First Refusal, ways to accommodate change in schedules as children grow, how to build-in evaluations along the years, and principles guiding good parenting schedules. Workshop E: Emotional Fluency for Mediators Sue Bronson From Aristotle to neurobiology we learn that emotions are an important part of human interaction and conflict resolution. To become angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way that is not easy. Based on our own personal history, we have developed a style that works for us, as have the parties in a dispute. Improving your emotional fluency to adapt to different needs could have a positive impact in how others behave. Workshop F: Resolution through Mediation and Arbitration Allan Stewart Parties enter mediation to seek resolution of disputes, prior to and post dissolution of marriage. This particularly occurs under the dispute resolution element of Parenting Plans. Parties seek mediation in an effort to resolve disputes which sometimes focus on one issue. In such instances, reaching resolution through mediation can be difficult. Often parties will address the mediator when they come to a frustrating roadblock and say can t someone just make the decision. This calls into play the aspect of arbitration. 2:40PM 3:00PM Break 4

5 3:00PM 4:30PM Workshops G - I Workshop G: When Do We Go Too Far? Jason Rugo Can mediators go too far? How do you balance true party self-determination with the certainty that a party needs to be walked back from a destructive path, and his counsel is encouraging you to do this? How do you balance your obligations under the Model Standards of Conduct for Mediators with the concept of pushing a party towards a certain ending? This workshop examines a real case situation the presenter found himself in and how he handled it. Written materials will present thoughts of other mediators on similar situations. Workshop H: Applying Neuroscience Findings to Unwind Structural Changes in Conflict Paul Ladehoff This workshop will help us to consider whether, when, and how mediators might apply findings from neuroscience to help reverse structural changes that occur in relationships during conflict. These include practical questions such as whether and how best to conduct joint opening statements, how to manage confirmation bias and reactive devaluation when a mediator conveys information, problems with party predictions and loss aversion in coming to final decisions, and how much pressure a mediator might or should apply? It also includes more general questions such as what standard of proof should mediators require of a new neuroscientific theory before considering making adjustments to their practice? Workshop I: Loss and Grief - Mediation s Potential to Heal Lynn Carruth-Rasmussen Have you ever wondered why some parties seem to be so entrenched in their positions or why a seemingly straight forward mediation immediately becomes hostile? One potential explanation is grieving. This interactive session will discuss grief as it manifests itself within the mediation including practitioners theories about how to identify grief, tools for working with grief, what barriers mediators may experience and how bridging mediation and grief will enhance resolution and parties opportunity for stronger resolution. 4:30PM 4:40PM 4:40PM - 5:15PM Break CLOSING PANEL DISCUSSION: Resolution What Have We Learned? 5

6 Presenter Bios Laura Boedges is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) and divorcee. Her knowledge and skills enable her to assist clients in the complex aspects of their wealth management needs. Laura enjoys assisting divorcing couples and individuals. As a member of the Collaborative Family Law Association of St. Louis, Laura promotes collaboration as a healthier, more constructive way to divorce. She and firm partner, Carol L. Rogers, presents divorce workshops, offered to those who are either interested in or in the process of divorce. For more, see Laura at and at Lynn Carruth-Rasmussen is a 2015 graduate of the LLM Program in Dispute Resolution from the School of Law at the University of Missouri. She also holds a Masters in Educational School and Counseling Psychology. She has served as a volunteer with MU s Campus Mediation Service. Her professional experience includes corporate business, academic teaching and advising as well as mid-level management and spiritual mentorship. Paul Ladehoff is director of the LL.M. in Dispute Resolution program at the University of Missouri School of Law and director of the MU Campus Mediation Service. Paul teaches Negotiation, Mediation and Conflict Management at the Law School. Paul graduated with honors from the University of Nebraska College of Law, served as a trial attorney for the U.S. Department of Justice, Environment and Natural Resources Division, and directed several community-based mediation centers in Nebraska. Carol Love, MA, LMFT is the Chief Program Officer of Kids in the Middle. She earned a a master s degree from the University of Connecticut in Marriage and Family Therapy. Ms. Love has over 30 years experience as a therapist. Her focus in recent years has been seeking successful strategies to assist high conflict co-parents. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a trained mediator. Jeanne Oberdan, MS, LMFT has been a Family Therapist at Kids in the Middle working with children, families and co-parents for two years. Prior to that she was the Children s Program Coordinator and Therapist at ALIVE for nearly ten years, where she worked with children and their families in high conflict situations. She has completed Family Mediation, Advanced Mediation, and Parent Coordination Training. She is proficient in EMDR and TF-CBT, as well as play therapy. She maintains a private practice. 6

7 Jason M. Rugo is a 20-year member of Jenkins & Kling, P.C. in Clayton, MO. He is certified neutral in the United States District Court for the Eastern District of Missouri and the St. Louis County Circuit Court. He received his initial training at the University of Missouri, Columbia and has attended numerous seminars and training sessions. He is a member of the Association of Missouri Mediators and the Association of Attorney Mediators. Mr. Rugo is still involved in an active commercial-business litigation practice. He is a graduate of Vanderbilt Law School (1980) and also practiced law at Thompson & Mitchell and Gallop, Johnson & Neuman. Allan Stewart received his B.A. from the University of Missouri - St. Louis in 1969, and his J.D. from St. Louis University in He is the author of the Parentage chapter in the Missouri Family Law Desk Book, has written extensively on family law matters, and is a frequent lecturer at legal education programs. He is a Fellow in the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and in the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Mr. Stewart is certified in mediation and is also a certified Arbitrator by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. Mr. Stewart has been in the practice of family law for over 40 years and has been designated as a Mediator and Arbitrator in numerous cases. 7