National Association for Self-Esteem

Transcription

1 National Association for Self-Esteem SELF-ESTEEM TODAY September 2008 NASE Member Newsletter In This Issue: Excerpt from a new book, Real kids in an Unreal world Excerpt from Jack Canfield's Success Strategies Newsletter New Resources on our NASE Web site Real kids in an Unreal world: How to build resilience and self-esteem in today's children by Maggie Dent, quietly improving lives A member of the International Council for Self-Esteem, Australia

2 What is Self Esteem? Children cannot view themselves directly; they can only know themselves via the feedback and images they receive from significant others. Parents are like mirrors in which children view themselves and these pictures tend to endure into adulthood. Parenting with Purpose: Five Keys to Raising Children with Values and Vision, Reasoner, Robert W., and Lane, Marilyn L. (2007). At the international Society for Effective and Affective Learning (SEAL) conference in Liverpool in 2005, the man considered as the grandfather of self esteem, Dr Nathaniel Branden, stated that there are more than 100 definitions of self esteem. Parents frequently express their concerns about their children s self esteem and ask how they can heal a damaged self esteem in their child. It is important to explore what it is, how we can help our children to build a positive self esteem and what to do if a low self esteem is present. In my opinion, self esteem is the most important contribution that an adult can make to a child s life. It is the bed rock on which most other personality traits rest and will do more to determine a child s future than any other single factor. Sky Schultz PhD., in Diane Loomans, Full Esteem Ahead.

3 According to Dr Branden, self esteem has two essential components: Self-efficacy Confidence in the ability to cope with life s challenges. Self-efficacy leads to a sense of control over one s life. Self-respect Experience oneself as deserving of happiness, achievement and love. Self-respect makes possible a sense of community with others. The relevance to resilience must now be clear. Self esteem influences our capacity to cope with life s challenges and in some ways it is the immune system of consciousness. A healthy immune system doesn t guarantee you ll never become ill, but it does reduce your susceptibility to illness and can improve your odds for a speedy recovery if you do get sick (Branden). In its most simplistic form, self esteem is how we perceive ourselves. This is why it can sometimes be hard and frustrating for parents to help when they know their children are struggling. The outward struggle can be a sign of a low self esteem, however an aggressive and angry exterior can also suggest a person struggling with low self esteem. Self-esteem is an intimate experience; it resides in the core of one s being. It is what I think and feel about myself, not what someone else thinks or feels about me. I can be loved by my family, my mate, and my friends, and yet not love myself. I can be admired by my associates and yet regard myself as worthless. I can project an image of assurance and poise that fools almost everyone and yet secretly tremble with a sense of my inadequacy. I can fulfill the expectations of others, and yet fail my own; I can win every honor, and yet feel I have accomplished nothing; I can be adored by millions, and yet wake up each morning with a sickening sense of fraudulence and emptiness. Healthy Self Esteem, Dr Nathaniel Branden, (1991). To find out more about building resilience in children, obtain a copy of this ground breaking book, or other books by Maggie Dent, contact her at esteemplus@rainbowis.com.au

4 Acknowledge and Appreciate Yourself by Jack Canfield Pop Quiz: When was the last time you acknowledged and appreciated yourself? That's right: YOU. Not your spouse, not your children, or not your boss, co-workers or friends. Just YOU! Seriously, think about it. And if it's been so long since you last pat yourself on the back, then I want you to take the time right now to acknowledge and appreciate yourself for everything you've accomplished today, throughout the year, and in life. Ask yourself: How many times have you succeeded in the past month? The past year? The past 10 years? Are you able to recall your successes as easily as your failures and missteps? This is not a selfish and egotistical act in the least. By taking the time to stop and appreciate who you are and what you've achieved--and perhaps learned through a few mistakes, stumbles and losses--you actually can enhance everything about you. Self-acknowledgment and -appreciation are what give you the insights and awareness to move forward toward higher goals and accomplishments. Consider this, too: if you only remember the mistakes and failures, you won't be as ready to take risks that will lead to your successes. Build your self-esteem by recalling all the ways you have succeeded and your brain will be filled with images of you making your achievements happen again and again. Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at:

5 Some new resources to check out at click on Books and Tapes, then select "Learning Kits" Lunch Mail = Send your love and encouragement to those you love -- off to school with your child or teen while helping them work on their reading skills in a fun way -- with Lunch Mail. A full month of daily pop-open inspiration cards with statements of encouragement and positive reinforcement to build their self-esteem. Three different versions: I Believe in You! You're Incredible! Dream Big Self-Esteem Passport = Your Self-Esteem Passport validates your allegiance to yourself. It will help protect you against feelings of inferiority and inadequacy. If you travel during times of stress and trouble, carry it with you. Its contents will provide you with the strength and comfort of your own self-acceptance. The Self-Esteem Passport permits you to progress without delay or hindrance to your life's goals and destinations NASE President's Message from Sharon Fountain. Thank you to all who have renewed your membership and joined with the Board of Directors in recommitting yourself to make a difference in you communities and in your own life by fostering healthy self-esteem. For more information on opportunities to contribute, contact me directly. We hope you will share your energy and passion with us. Sharon Fountain, President, , You are receiving this NASE Newsletter as a value added part of your membership in the National Association for Self-Esteem. You have permission to forward this free newsletter to others you feel would benefit from its content. Your comments and suggestions are welcome. If you wish not to receive these newsletters in the future, follow the instructions below to UNSBUSCRIBE. Looking for simple solutions to your real-life financial challenges? Check out WalletPop for the latest news and information, tips and calculators.