Leads - Internal news story

Transcription

1 Basic Public Affairs Specialist Course Leads - Internal news story The ability to write easily, coherently and quickly distinguishes the public affairs professional from others in an organization. The news story is the granddaddy of public affairs media tools. It is the basic mechanism to let people know what your organization is doing. This week, you will build the foundation needed to write a news story. You will learn how to write a summary news lead. All of the news stories you will learn to write depend on information you will learn in this lesson. Functions of Leads Types of Leads Inverted Pyramid The Defense Information School, Fort George G. Meade, Maryland 1

2 Functions of a lead A lead is the first sentence or the first few sentences of a story. It is the most critical element of a story. A lead... y grabs attention and starts the flow of energy y tells something about the subject of the story and shows the story s significance y answers the question So what? y shows the reader what kind of story it is hard news, feature or some other type. Types of leads There are two basic types of leads: direct and delayed. y The direct lead tells the reader the most important aspect of the story at once. It is usually used on breaking news events. We also use the direct lead to write short news items, such as news briefs or community notes. Here s an example of a direct lead: The Air Force announced today in Washington, D.C., that it will introduce no-shine, no-polish boots to the service as early as next month. y The delayed lead entices the reader into the story by hinting at its contents. It often is used with feature stories, the kinds of stories that are not about developing or fast-breaking events. Here s an example of a delayed lead: Senior Airman Amy C. Knipe tried just about everything to make her boots shine when she was in technical school. She tried heating the polish with a lighter -- until she watched her roommate accidentally burn a hole in the dorm room carpet using that method. Next came the wood floor cleaner as her preferred polish. But no matter how hard she worked, she couldn t keep up with the competitive shining in vogue at Fort Leonard Wood, Mo. She finally gave up and paid another airman $20 every couple of weeks to polish her boots. 2 The Center of Excellence for Visual Information and Public Affairs

3 Now with the 1st Civil Engineer Squadron at Langley Air Force Base, Va., she said she is still no friend of shoe polish and would love a new boot that stripped that hour-long weekly polishing routine from her life -- if only such a boot existed. For Knipe, and others weary of shining, there is hope. No-shine, nopolish boots could happen as early as next month. Notice that the reader does not know until the fifth paragraph just what the main point of the story is. The delayed lead does not reveal essential information to the reader. The suspense is part of the attraction of the delayed lead. There are no absolute rules about when the direct or delayed lead should be used, however, news stories often use direct leads. It is important that you know how to write each type. In this lesson, you will focus on writing a direct lead. Later in the course, you will learn how to write a delayed lead for feature writing. Inverted pyramid Before we can begin to talk about writing a direct lead, you must first understand the structure of a basic news story. There are many ways to structure a news story. As novice writers, it s best to stick to the basics, and one of the most basic and widely accepted ways of structuring a story is the inverted pyramid. A story written in the inverted pyramid structure begins with the most important information first followed by other facts in descending order of importance. One popular story of how the inverted pyramid structure came to be dates back to the Civil War. Before the war, reporters wrote in a literary style, where the climax of the story was found in the conclusion. During the war, reporters relied on telegraph wires to file their stories, and these wires were frequently cut. As a result of the telegraph wires being disrupted, reporters designed a new story structure, so that the climax of the story would begin a story instead of conclude it. Today, the inverted pyramid remains popular because its structure allows for writing under deadline, and it gives editors the flexibility to cut the story from the bottom up without losing any essential facts. Readers like the inverted pyramid because they are busier now than ever before, and the inverted pyramid gives them the facts they need to know in a hurry. Even if a reader stops at the end of the first paragraph, the inverted pyramid form of writing gives the reader the essential facts. The Defense Information School, Fort George G. Meade, Maryland 3

4 Let s take a look at the inverted pyramid model. The first part is the lead followed by the bridge. From there, paragraphs are written in the body in descending order of importance, with progressively less important facts presented as the article continues. The lead is the most critical element, usually answering the questions concerning who, what, where and when, and perhaps why and how. You could read several college journalism books and find many different ways to write a direct lead. We will show you one of those ways. It is called the summary news lead. Facts reported in descending order of importance 4 The Center of Excellence for Visual Information and Public Affairs

5 Characteristics of a summary news lead y The lead is a single sentence that must include who, what, where and when. If space is available and the story warrants it, you could possibly include the why and/or how. As a guideline, the summary lead should be from 25 to 30 words long. If your sentence is less than 25 words, you should ask yourself, Did I forget to include any of the mandatory W s? If your lead is more than 30 words, you should ask yourself, Do I have information in my lead that could be saved for later in the story? y The first few words of the lead, known as lead emphasis, is the most important W or H. In most cases, the lead emphasis will be Who or What. y Generally, you should write the lead in active voice -- Who did What. However, there are times when the What element takes the lead, forcing the lead sentence to be passive -- What was done by whom. y The lead sentence usually contains one central idea and follows the subjectverb-object sentence structure. You should avoid connecting two independent clauses with a semicolon. News peg Another aspect that distinguishes a feature story from a news story is that news stories have a peg. y The peg is the time element, the reason you re running the story today instead of last week or next week. It s called a peg because the story hangs on it, the way a coat hangs on a hook. y Once you gather all of the information for your story, you must look carefully to find the parts that are really the news. The most recent or timely aspect of the information is the peg. Here are a couple of examples: An electrician with the Department of Public Works here received an Army Commendation Medal at the post headquarters today for his work with the post youth football league last month. In this example, there are two time elements when the electrician received a medal and when he worked with the football league. The most recent information, the peg, is when he received the medal. That s the news. Base members have until 4:30 p.m. today to sign up at the base travel office for a three-day trip to Clearwater Beach, Fla., next month. Again, you have to decide what time element is actually the news peg. In this example, the sign-up deadline is more important than the fact that the trip is next month. If travelers miss the deadline, there s no need for them to know about the trip next month. The Defense Information School, Fort George G. Meade, Maryland 5

6 The five W s and H Readers can ask six general key questions about an event: who was involved, what happened, when did it happen, where did it happen, why and how? One of the five W s or H is usually more important than the others. This element should be placed at the beginning of the lead sentence. This is called the lead emphasis. Lead emphasis refers to the first few words in the summary lead. Who -- The who element may be a single person, a group of people or an organization. When the story is about a single person, however, it is important not to use the person s name in the lead unless the person is prominent. For people who aren t well known to your audience or when there are several persons to be identified, another form of identification is more meaningful. One of the best ways to identify a person who is not well known is to use the person s job title and unit. This is called the impersonal who. The person s full identification will be revealed in the bridge of the story, which will be covered later in the course. It s important to note that a person s rank is not a job title. For example, use department superintendent instead of senior chief petty officer. Also, don t assume just because someone has a lot of rank he or she is prominent. For example, your post commander might be high in rank, but not well known by readers. Here are a couple of examples: Prominent name -- Tom Cruise will sign autographs at the Base Exchange Saturday as part of a United Service Organizations tour to military installations on the East Coast. Non-prominent name -- A singer with the Soldiers Chorus here will sing the national anthem during the opening of a Baltimore Orioles game at Camden Yards in Baltimore Saturday. What -- What tells briefly what happened at an event. The key is to be brief and get to the point. Frequently the who and the what overlap because a what is usually the result of an action by a who. The most common order for a summary news lead is who did what. This structure also helps keep the sentence in active voice. However, there may be times when you may want to begin the lead with the what element. Here are a couple of examples of when the what element might be the lead emphasis: A plan to build a 1,000-ship Navy was announced today in Washington by the secretary of defense. A free, public concert by the U.S. Army Band is scheduled for Friday at the parade field here. In the second example, the fact that the concert is free will immediately draw the attention of your readers. Generally, when an event is free, use that as your lead emphasis. Where -- The where gives the location of the news event. This question need not always be answered in specific terms. Here often is sufficient for an event happening on post. 6 The Center of Excellence for Visual Information and Public Affairs

7 Here s an example: Sailors here will see an increase in their basic housing allowance next month after Congress approved an increase of three percent today. A lead may need more than one where for clarity. Here s an example: An aircraft maintenance technician with the 22nd Fighter Squadron here was named the John Levitow Award winner Tuesday at the Airman Leadership School at Ramstein Air Base, Germany. Sometimes the where element is implied. Here is one example: The Navy will require incidents of drunken driving to be documented in sailors fitness reports beginning Jan. 1. When -- When is the time or date of an event. The reader s question of when need not be answered in specific terms in the lead. Often it can be as vague as this morning or today. How specific the writer must be depends on how important the time element is to the story. Here are two examples: Specific when -- Base members have until 4:30 p.m. today to sign up at the base travel office for a three-day trip to Clearwater Beach, Fla., slated for next month. Vague when -- Five nurses from the Kimbrough Ambulatory Care Center here led a group of 20 officers from the post on a visit to the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Md., this morning. It s also important to use such words as scheduled, planned or slated when writing about events that will take place in the future. Avoid making positive statements the event may be canceled or postponed, etc. You can see this in the first example. Why -- The why concerns the cause of an event, and it is frequently implied or unavailable. The why question can rarely, if ever, be answered in the initial release of an accident story because the cause must be investigated. Here s an example of a summary news lead that contains the why. A Basic Still Photography course instructor at the Defense Information School here was named the school s Junior Servicemember of the Quarter today at the school for his military bearing and knowledge of current military events. As you can see, this lead contains the four required W s and the why. It is also 35 words long. Remember, the goals is 25 to 30 words. In this example, the few extra words don t seem to make the lead too wordy. However, you should always keep this goal in mind. The why could be saved for later in the story. How -- The how relates the circumstances or manner in which something is accomplished in the story. When it is present it often provides an intriguing lead. Here s an example: A journalism student at the Defense Information School here saved the life of one of his instructors today at the school by using cardiopulmonary resuscitation skills he learned last week. The Defense Information School, Fort George G. Meade, Maryland 7

8 Newspaper dateweek Let s revisit the when element of a summary news lead. It can be one of the most confusing elements for readers and novice writers alike. Most military newspapers are printed weekly and sometimes monthly. Because of this you need to make sure your readers understand the time element. One system to help you is called the dateweek. Most military publications are published on Thursdays or Fridays. For the purposes of this course, our publication will be published on Thursdays. The newspaper dateweek consists of 13 days. The center of this dateweek is the publication date. When an event takes place on the publication date, the event happened or will happen today. For other events that happen or will happen within the 13-day dateweek, you will use the day of the week to refer to them Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Readers will be able to tell which Monday or Tuesday you are referring to depending on the verb tense you use. For events that happen or will happen outside of the 13-day dateweek, you will use the month and date to refer to them Aug. 15, May 3, etc. You should avoid using both the day of the week and the actual date. This would be redundant. To further avoid causing confusion, there are four words you should avoid using yesterday, tomorrow, next and last in your stories. However, it is OK to use next and last when writing about an event that happened a week or more in the past or a week or more in the future. For example, it s OK to write next month. However, it would cause confusion to write next Saturday. PAST Wednesday Today Friday FUTURE Tuesday Monday Sunday Saturday Friday Saturday Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Date Date 8 The Center of Excellence for Visual Information and Public Affairs

9 Formatting the assignment For the purposes of writing releases for DINFOS, a simple format can be found in the Intro & Admin Guide. y In the top left corner of the first page, type your name, class number and the name of the exercise (Leads 1, News Features, etc.). y Place a slug -- one word, all upper case -- about one third to one half way down the page (3.5- or 4-inch mark on the vertical ruler). The slug is like a title that identifies your story; it should be the same for every page of the story and its headline. The slug should be an easily recognized word, one that makes sense to the story. y Always double-space your copy to allow room for copy-editing and grading. y At the bottom of each page that is not the end of the story, leaving at least a 1-inch margin, type or write in -moreto show that another page follows. y Repeat your name, slug and appropriate page number in the upper left corner of each succeeding page (type or write in). Hit enter and continue your story. Don t leave extra room. y At the bottom of the last page of the story, type or write in -30- to show there is no more copy. y Copy should be neatly edited with a pencil. Use only the copy-editing symbols shown in your copy-editing booklet and any others your instructor shows you. y The space at the top of the page is for copyfit information and instructor comments. You ll learn to copyfit when you begin design and layout. The Defense Information School, Fort George G. Meade, Maryland 9

10 Basic Public Affairs Specialist Course Conclusion The news story remains the basic tool you will use to disseminate information about your units and the Department of Defense. Your understanding of how to communicate accurately, briefly and clearly depends on your ability to write a strong news story. Using the information in this lesson and the newswriting format template, you are now prepared to do the two assignments, Leads 1 and Leads 2. Look in your course syllabus for instructions.. 10 The Center of Excellence for Visual Information and Public Affairs

11 References Goldstein, N. (2007). Associated Press style book and briefing on media law. Associated Press, New York Harrigan, J. & Dunlap, K. (2003). The editorial eye. Bedford/St. Martins, New York, New York Baskette, F., Sissors, J. & Brooks, B. (1997). The art of editing (6th ed.) Hohenberg, J. (1983). The professional journalist. Cengage Learning, Florence, KY. Mencher, M. (1999). News reporting and writing (8th ed.). The McGraw-Hill Companies, Seitel, F. (1994). The practice of public relations (6th ed.). Prentice Hall Professional Technical Reference. Lieter, K., Johnson, S., & Harriss, J. (1999). The complete reporter: Fundamentals of new gathering, writing, and editing. Pearson Itule, B., & Anderson, D. (2002). News writing and reporting for today s media (6th ed.). The McGraw-Hill Companies Ward, H. (1985). Professional newswriting. Harcourt College Publishers. Agee, W., Ault, P., & Emery, E. (1983). Reporting & writing the news. Harper & Row, New York. Fedler, F., Bender, J., & Davenport, L. (2000). Reporting for the media. Oxford University Press, Cary, NC. Rich, C. (1999). Writing and reporting news: A coaching method. Wadsworth Publishing, Florence, KY. Home Internal Home Information Functions of Functions Leads of Types Leads of Leads Types of Inverted Leads Pyramid Inverted Pyramid The Defense Information School, Fort George G. Meade, Maryland 11