COMPASSIONATE & MINDFUL RELAPSE PREVENTION 1 I. Alcohol/Drug Recovery & Relapse Prevention II. Core Relapse Issues III. Mindfulness & Compassion Overview IV. Anger, Criticism/Blame, Impatience V. Mindful & Compassionate Tools for Relapse Prevention 2 1
3 ompulsion/obsession Inability to ontrol Continued use despite significant negative onsequences 4 2
Alcohol/Drug Relapse Negative Emotional States Reactivity Abstinence Violation Effects Shame - Disconnection 5 Withdrawal Honeymoon The Wall Adjustment Resolution Stage (0-15 days) (15-45 days) (45-120 days) (120-180 days) (180-360 days) 6 3
Most researched area: TENSION Tension & Stress Reduction 7 *Self-Medication Motive* Khantzian, Edward (1985) 8 4
Altered states of Consciousness NARCOTICS painkillers, numb out CNS DEPRESSANTS sedation, loss of inhibitions STIMULANTS increase in energy, motivation, sense of power HALLUCINOGENS distortion of reality, different perspective, escape reality 9 Reasons for Using Marijuana Stimulation of thought Relieve boredom Enhance senses & sensations Relieve anxiety & dysphoria Stimulate appreciation, creativity, & artistry Increase enjoyment Completing mundane tasks 10 5
Stimulate interest, different perspective Improving self-confidence & quieting pessimism Enhancing conversations & social interactions Increasing fun,, joy, & happiness Quieting anger, frustration Enjoying nature Entertainment 11 DISEASE MODEL of ALCOHOLISM AMA (1957) 1. Known etiology (causes) 2. Symptoms get worse over time 3. Known outcome 12 6
HOPEISNOWHERE 13 14 7
B O R E D O M 15 Richard Leider; The Power of Purpose: Find Meaning, Live Longer, Better, 2010 16 8
17 Mindfulness The Big Three: Anger Criticism (Blame) Impatience Delusion, Grasping, Resistance 18 9
AA Denial Dharma Delusion One Day at a Time The Serenity Prayer Progress not Perfection Shit Happens Beingin the Now Issues ofcontrol, Surrender, Acceptance Letting go of Attachment to Outcome Life includes Suffering Let Go & Let God Forgiveness & Loving Kindness 19 Clinical Psychology Psychology of Buddhism Focus on pathology Focus on living and freedom 25 states of depression 25 states of rapture A list of anxiety disorders Emphasis on independence A list of states of extremetrust and contentment Emphasison interdependence Jack Kornfield, Ph.D., The Wise Heart 20 10
21 Grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, Courage to change the one I can, And the wisdom to know it s me. 22 11
23 Wherever you are that is the entry point. Kabir, 15 th Century Indian Poet 24 12
The BIG Three Criticism 25 If you get angry easily, it may be because the seed of anger in you has been watered frequently over many years, and unfortunately you have allowed it or even encouraged it to be watered. Thich Nhat Hanh, Taming the Tiger Within, (Riverhead Books, 2004) 26 13
The thought manifests as the word; The word manifests as the deed; The deed develops into habit; And habit hardens into character. So watch the thought and its ways with care; And let it spring from love, Born out of concern for all beings. The Buddha 27 28 14
False Frequent Evidence Exaggerations Appears About Real Reality 29 Healing Zen, Ellen Birx, 2002 30 15
We habitually erect a barrier called blame that keeps us from communicating genuinely with others, and we fortify it with our concepts of who s right and who s wrong. Pema Chodron RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT WRONG WRONG WRONG 31 Would you rather be right or happy? Tireless Debate Alcoholics Anonymous 32 16
ecognize ccept nvestigate ot identify/personalize 33 Your fondest dreams will be transformed into fruitful realities if you just know the secret of growing the patience-tree in your heart. Sri Chimnoy, The Wisdom of Sri Chimnoy, Blue Dove Press, (2000) 34 17
Pessimists Permanent Optimists Temporary Pervasive Specific Personal External 35 The courageous act of starting to address one s anger and developing greater patience is, to me a sacred art. Allan Lokos, Patience: The Art of Peaceful Living, 2012 36 18
Patience: The Art of Peaceful Living by Allen Lokos, 2012 For a home to be a refuge it needs to be a place where love, compassion and patience prevail. 37 His Holiness The Dalai Lama 38 19
Your mind is all stories. 39 40 20
Delusion Awareness Clarity Wisdom Source: Jack Kornfield, The Wise Heart 41 The essence of bravery is being without self-deception. Pema Chodron 42 21
All beings want to be happy, yet so very few know how. It is out of ignorance that any of us cause suffering, for ourselves or for others Sharon Salzberg, Loving-kindness, 2004 43 Grasping Letting Go Kindness Flexibility Source: Jack Kornfield, The Wise Heart 44 22
Helen Keller, We Bereaved, 1929 45 Resisting Open - Heartedness Loving - Kindness Source: Jack Kornfield, The Wise Heart 46 23
Mindfulness is within your grasp, holding on to it is the difficult part! Richard Fields, Ph.D. 47 48 24
Love and compassion and are necessities, not luxuries, without them humanity cannot survive. His Holiness the Dalai Lama 49 Definition: Self looking in on self, finding the self lacking or feeling exposed seen in a public way and wanting to cover up feeling hunted. (Fossum and Mason, 1987) 50 25
Shame based System 1. No hope hopelessness 2. Inescapable 3. Exterior based Self Compassionate System 1. Hope choice 2. Can make amends 3. Internally based 51 Shame - Feeling Bond Anger + Shame = Rage Anxiety + Shame = Panic Sadness + Shame = Depression Loneliness + Shame = Abandoned/Isolated 52 26
Compassion Resistance FEARS of RECEIVING COMPASSION I wonder if displays of warmth and kindness from others are genuine. When people are kind and compassionate towards me I feel anxious or embarrassed. I m fearful of becoming dependent on others, because they might not be available or willing to give compassion 53 Fears of Compassion for Others I worry that if I am compassionate and venerable people will drain my emotional resources. People will take advantage of me if they see me as too compassionate. There are some people in life who don t deserve compassion. Being compassionate towards people who have done bad things is letting them off the hook. 54 27
SPANISH PROVERB 55 SELF COMPASSION The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. Carl Rogers (1961) 56 28
Caring for others requires caring for oneself. HH the Dalai Lama (2000) 57 HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE In this world hate never yet dispelled hate. Only love dispels hate. This is the law, ancient and inexhaustible. The Buddha 58 29
59 Metta Sutta 60 30