MBRP* CRAVING & ATTACHMENT. Shifting from reacting to skillful responding. 3 C S OF ADDICTION Compulsion/Obsession ALCOHOL/DRUG RELAPSE 10/17/2014
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1 HUNGRY GHOST OVERVIEW Mindful Relapse Prevention Skills for a Healthier Life Richard Fields, PhD drfieldscoaching.com I. Alcohol/Drug Recovery & Relapse Prevention II. Core Relapse Issues III. Mindfulness & Compassion Overview IV. Anger, Criticism/Blame, Impatience V. Mindful & Compassionate Tools for Relapse Prevention 1 2 Alcohol / Drug Recovery & Relapse Prevention CAUSES OF RELAPSE 3 RELATIONSHIPS 4 1
2 CRAVING & ATTACHMENT Root Causes of Suffering MBRP* Shifting from reacting to skillful responding *MBRP: Mindfulness-Based Relapse Prevention C S OF ADDICTION Compulsion/Obsession Inability to Control ALCOHOL/DRUG RELAPSE Negative Emotional States Reactivity Abstinence Violation Effects Shame - Disconnection Continued use despite significant negative Consequences 7 8 2
3 STAGES OF RECOVERY MOST RESEARCHED AREAS Withdrawal Honeymoon The Wall Adjustment Resolution Stage (0-15 days) (15-45 days) ( days) ( days) ( days) Tension & Stress Reduction 9 10 WHEN IS MINDFUL COACHING APPROPRIATE? *SELF-MEDICATION MOTIVE* Khantzian, Edward (1985) Optimum Performance Stimulated Effective Overload Irritable Anxious Boredom Burnout Demands Shamash Alidina
4 ALTERED STATES OF CONSCIOUSNESS NARCOTICS painkillers, numb out CNS DEPRESSANTS sedation, loss of inhibitions STIMULANTS increase in energy, motivation, sense of power HALLUCINOGENS distortion of reality, different perspective, escape reality HOPEISNOWHERE Pessimists Optimists Permanent Temporary Pervasive Specific Personal External
5 CRISIS OF UNCERTAINTY BOREDOM Each transition to a new phase of purpose is accompanied by a crisis of uncertainty, a chaotic period of time in which we are organizing ourselves around a new core question. Richard Leider; The Power of Purpose: Find Meaning, Live Longer, Better, RESTING IN UNCERTAINTY Awareness of awareness Attention to intention MINDFULNESS The Big Three: Anger Criticism (Blame) Impatience Delusion, Grasping, Resistance
6 AA Dharma Clinical Psychology Psychology of Buddhism Denial Delusion Focus on pathology Focus on living and freedom One Day at a Time Being in the Now 25 states of depression 25 states of rapture The Serenity Prayer Issues of Control, Surrender, Acceptance A list of anxiety disorders A list of states of extreme trust and contentment Progress not Perfection Letting go of Attachment to Outcome Emphasis on independence Emphasis on interdependence Shit Happens Life includes Suffering Focus on pathology Focus on living and freedom Let Go & Let God Forgiveness & Loving Kindness 25 states of depression 25 states of rapture Jack Kornfield, Ph.D., The Wise Heart God grant me the serenity to ACCEPT the things I cannot change, COURAGE to change the things I can, and the WISDOM to know the difference. Grant me the serenity to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change, Courage to change the ONE I can, And the wisdom to know it s ME
7 You must be the change you wish Wherever you are that is the entry point. Kabir, 15 th Century Indian Poet to see in the World Mahatma Gandhi Anger THE BIG THREE Criticism Impatience ANGRY If you get angry easily, it may be because the seed of anger in you has been watered frequently over many years, and unfortunately you have allowed it or even encouraged it to be watered. ThichNhatHanh, Taming the Tiger Within, (Riverhead Books, 2004)
8 The thought manifests as the word; The word manifests as the deed; The deed develops into habit; And habit hardens into character. So watch the thought and its ways with care; And let it spring from love, Born out of concern for all beings. H A L T S HUNGRY feed the hunger ANGRY quiet anger & regain compassion LONELY cool loneliness TIRED rest, relax, recreate, renew SICK heal and nurture back to wellness The Buddha F E A R CRITICAL OF OTHERS F False E Evidence A Appears R Real F Frequent E Exaggerations A About R Reality Paying attention to another s faults is just a distraction from paying attention to what is happening right here and now. Healing Zen, Ellen Birx,
9 We habitually erect a barrier called blame that keeps us from communicating genuinely with others, and we fortify it with our concepts of who s right and who s wrong. WOULD YOU RATHER BE Pema Chodron RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT BLAME WRONG WRONG WRONG RIGHT or Tireless Debate HAPPY? Alcoholics Anonymous R A I N R A I N ecognize ccept nvestigate ot identify/personalize Your fondest dreams will be transformed into fruitful realities if you just know the secret of growing the patience-tree in your heart. Sri Chimnoy, The Wisdom of Sri Chimnoy, Blue Dove Press, (2000)
10 The courageous act of starting to address one s anger and developing greater patience is, to me a sacred art. Allan Lokos, Patience: The Art of Peaceful Living, 2012 PATIENCE: THE ART OF PEACEFUL LIVING by Allen Lokos, 2012 For a home to be a refuge it needs to be a place where love, compassion and patience prevail I am the cause of most of my suffering because of the habits of my own mind. His Holiness The Dalai Lama Your mind is all stories
11 Awareness Delusion Clarity Wisdom Source: Jack Kornfield, The Wise Heart The essence of bravery is being without self-deception. Pema Chodron All beings want to be happy, yet so very few know how. It is out of ignorance that any of us cause suffering, for ourselves or for others Sharon Salzberg, Loving-Kindness,
12 Grasping Letting Go Kindness Flexibility When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. Source: Jack Kornfield, The Wise Heart Helen Keller, We Bereaved, Resisting Open-Heartedness Loving-Kindness Mindfulness is within your grasp, holding on to it is the difficult part! Source: Jack Kornfield, The Wise Heart Richard Fields, Ph.D
13 Compassion Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries, without them humanity cannot survive. His Holiness the Dalai Lama SHAME DEFINITION Self looking in on self, finding the self lacking or feeling exposed seen in a public way and wanting to cover up feeling hunted. Fossum and Mason, 1987 Shame-based System Self-compassionate System 1. No hope hopelessness 1. Hope choice 2. Inescapable 2. Can make amends 3. Exterior based 3. Internally based
14 SHAME FEELING BOUND Anger + Shame = Rage Anxiety + Shame = Panic Sadness + Shame = Depression Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek & find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. Rumi Loneliness + Shame = Abandoned/Isolated COMPASSION RESISTANCE FEARS of RECEIVING COMPASSION I wonder if displays of warmth and kindness from others are genuine. When people are kind and compassionate towards me I feel anxious or embarrassed. I m fearful of becoming dependent on others, because they might not be available or willing to give compassion Gilbert, et. al, 2011 FEARS OF COMPASSION FOR OTHERS I worry that if I am compassionate and vulnerable people will drain my emotional resources. People will take advantage of me if they see me as too compassionate. There are some people in life who don t deserve compassion. Being compassionate towards people who have done bad things is letting them off the hook
15 The door to the human heart can only be opened from the inside. SELF COMPASSION The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. Carl Rogers (1961) Spanish Proverb HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE Caring for others requires caring for oneself. In this world hate never yet dispelled hate. Only love dispels hate. This is the law, ancient and inexhaustible. The Buddha His Holiness the Dalai Lama (2000)
16 FLOW When consciousness is harmoniously ordered, and you pursue what you are doing for the sheer sake of doing it. May all beings, omitting none, feel safe, and content, and happy, and live with ease. Metta Sutta Mihalyi Csikzentmihalyi
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