We Haz Jazz Original script by John Jacobson and Kirby Shaw Revised and adapted by Scott Walter, 2013 Song 1: We Haz Jazz (singing previous melody) We ve got razzamatazz, I mean tazzamajazz! Whatever you call it, it swings! Be ba diddle diddle du wop, do a little bebop, let s get together and sing! Susan: (surprising him) Hello, Riff! (taken aback) Whoa Susan what what are you doing? Susan: (laughing a bit) Watching you sing and dance, apparently! Not bad, by the way. Melissa: Yeah, those were some pretty interesting moves. Thanks Melissa and Susan, but where did everybody go? Melissa: What do you mean everybody? We re the only ones here. Those cats I was dancin too Woody, Dizzy, Louis, Thelonious? THELONIOUS?
Yeah, my jazzer friends. We were having a jam session couldn t you hear us? Susan: Uh, OK then I don t know what you mean. Melissa: Neither do I! No really, you guys. I know it seems unbelievable, but some of the greatest jazz artists of all time were just here. They were swinging like you wouldn t believe! There was Count Basie, The Dorsey Brothers, Billie Holiday, even Thelonious Monk! THELONIOUS??? Exactly. Now, where d they go? Abe: Man, Riff really likes Jazz. LIKE!? Like? Like is not a word that should be used in the same sentence as Jazz. Like is for Big Macs. Like is for summers at the beach. Like is for the way I feel about Amy Simpleton (covers his mouth and is embarrassed). Ooooohhhhhhh The POINT is that I LOVE jazz, and I bet you will too. You know, I have an idea. Maybe if we all have a little jam session, you ll see. And maybe those cool jazz cats will show up again.
Abe: Uh, I don t know about THAT. But I m all for a jam session. Good I ll take it. What do you say everybody? Should we jam? (shouting) LET S JAM!!! Song 2: Let s Jam! Charlie Parker: Hey man, did somebody just start a jam session? It sounded like some of the greatest jazzers of all time might be here. Great ones like, uh me! (smiles and points to himself) (laughter) Look. Look! I told you guys! I knew it! It s saxophone great Charlie Parker! Ethan: (shocked) Wait who is Charlie Parker? Charlie P: Only one of the greatest jazz musicians of all time, that s who.if I do say so myself. Ethan: Wow. This is unreal! And.wait LOOK! Look over there!!! (pointing) (Famous Jazz musicians about to speak start coming to the speaking area)
Charlie P: Hey there Duke, Buddy, and Dizzy. Hi Louis! And how are the Dorsey brothers today? Jimmy & Tommy Dorsey: Just fine, Charlie, how are you? Charlie Parker: Couldn t be better. Now kids, let me introduce you to my friends: Tommy and Jimmy: We re the Dorsey brothers, famous Big Bang Swing musicians from the Big Band era. Gene Krupa: And I m another Big Band composer and band leader, Gene Krupa. Benny Goodman: I m the famous Clarinet player and band leader, Benny Goodman. Louis Armstrong: (with a growling voice) It s a wonderful world, kid! Zach: Who are you? Your voice is, uh, unique! Louis Armstrong: I m Louis. Louis Armstrong famous Jazz trumpeter and singer. Dizzy Gillespie: And I m Dizzy. I m another jazz trumpet player, though my voice isn t what s unique about me. I play on a trumpet with the bell stuck 45 degrees in the air.and with my cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk! (laughter)
Sarah: Wow, all these great Jazz musicians are here. I can t believe it. But I ve got to ask how did this all get started? I mean, it seems to me that all of a sudden we went from composers like Mozart, Beethoven and Bach to Dizzy Gillespie and Count Basie! How did we get here? Louis Armstrong: That s a great question, Sarah. The fact is that Jazz was the first truly new form of music that developed in America. In fact, it came out of the horror of slavery, where West African slaves mixed work songs with music from the New World. They sang it in the fields as they worked. Fortunately, slavery wouldn t live on, but the music did. Here, let me show you. Song 3: Work Song Jack: Wow, so THAT S where jazz came from. That s really interesting. Jill: It really is. And that s not all. Over the years, jazz developed slowly. But in the early 1900 s, it developed into Ragtime Jazz, with composers such as Scott Joplin leading way. Scott Joplin: Did I hear my name? (surprised) Oh, hey kids! How are you? I m Scott Joplin. I wrote in the Ragtime Jazz style. Maybe you ve heard of one of my pieces called The Entertainer, written for piano? Hey, yeah I know that piece (sings the melody on doo ). Jack: And that s not all! Ragtime was only the beginning. Soon, Dixieland jazz started becoming popular. It developed in the French Quarter section of New Orleans, Louisiana. Jazz became the most popular music of the early 1900 s, especially in the 1920 s. That decade became known as the
roaring 20 s, partially because of the popularity of Ragtime and Dixieland jazz. Billie Holiday: Hi kids! Jack and Jill: Wait who are YOU?! Billie Holiday: Well, I m Billie Holiday, and I didn t play Ragtime OR Dixieland. Instead, I helped develop one of most enduring and important kinds of music.the Blues. The Blues??? Billie H: Yes, the Blues. The Blues draws even more heavily on the African work songs you just learned about. The Blues is the basis for MANY other kinds of music today, including Rock! Can you teach us to sing the Blues, Billie? Billie H: You? Uh, no. You re too young! Why does that matter? I mean, we re great singers and we re learning all about Jazz. Why not? Billie: Because kiddo, the Blues isn t just a style of music. It s about SOUL. It s about expressing your feelings, especially feelings of loss or sadness. To sing the Blues, you have to first have some life experience.
(clears throat and tries it out in an improvised Blues singing style) Oh I lost my dog and I lost my truck.. Billie: Uh. (singing the blues) And all my homework got covered by muck. Uh! Billie: Not bad, kid. Maybe I CAN teach you to sing the Blues. Let s give it a try. Everyone ready? Yeah! Song 4: I m Old Enough to Sing the Blues Sammy: Wow, that s the saddest song I ve heard in my life! Grace: I know! What a string of bad luck those people had! Sammy: You know, one thing I don t get is where the word Jazz comes from. Grace: Yeah, I mean Dixieland, Ragtime, The Blues..I m getting confused! Jelly Roll: Sammy: Well Daddy-O, that s because all three developed on their own. People didn t start calling them all Jazz until 1920, when famous author F. Scott Fitzgerald coined the term. Who are YOU?
Jelly Roll: Ferdinand Morton is the name but you can call me Jelly Roll! You see kids, there was another name for the 1920 s. Yes, it was called the roaring 20 s as you heard before. But with all the new and popular Jazz music, the 1920 s were also called The Jazz Age. Sammy and Grace: Wait your name is JELLY ROLL? What? Jelly Roll: That s my nickname, all right. But never mind that. Many people and by many people, I mean MYSELF think that Jazz was entirely invented in New Orleans. But either way, it wasn t long until Jazz floated right up the Mississippi, right on up to Chi-Town! Grace: Chi-Town? Where is that? Jelly Roll: Chicago, silly girl. And it held the promise of a new life for me and greats like Count Basie, King Joe Oliver and The Original Dixieland Jazz Band, led by none other than Louis Satchmo Armstrong! Sammy: Wow! Riff I think I feel a song coming on! You re right, Sammy. Everyone give me an M! M! Give me an I! All I!
Give me an S! S! Give me a bunch of P s and S s and I s and stuff! (Yell out random letters including P, S, M, I, etc.) Uh right. Let s go! (explodes with cheers) Song 5: Up the Mississippi Zach: Wow, Jazz is the happiest, most energetic, most awesome music I ve ever heard! Amy: You re not kidding! Not only that, but we re getting to learn about all different kinds of Jazz music. Let s see so far we ve got Ragtime, Blues, Dixieland. Dizzy Gillespie: Don t forget Be-bop! Be-Bop?
Dizzy: That s right, Be-bop. Be-bop jazz came after the Big Band Swing era and became popular in the last 1940 s and early 1950 s. People like me Dizzy Gillespie, and Charlie Parker brought it to life! Our bands might have been smaller, and are our music a little more unusual, but Bebop became the most popular type of Jazz for years to come! Count Basie: Now hold on what about swing? Duke Ellington: Yeah, what about swing? Starting in the 1930 s, large Jazz bands playing Swing music became popular. They had trumpets, saxophones, trombones, string basses, piano and drums sometimes they had 15 members or more. In fact, thanks to the invention of radio, Swing became the most famous kind of Jazz. People like me Duke Ellington, Count Basie, Benny Goodman and the Dorsey Brothers made Swing so popular that people even do swing dancing today! Ella Fitzgerald: Don t forget about me! Duke Ellington: Sorry, Ella how could I forget? Ladies and gentlemen, the great Jazz vocalist, Ella Fitzgerald is here! (applause) Ella Fitzgerald: Thank you, everyone. But I didn t just sing written music. One of the things I became famous for was improvisation, or making up the notes as you go. I was also really fond of scatting. Scatting???
Ella Fitzgerald: Yes, scatting. It sounds like a funny word, but what it really means is singing as if your voice was an instrument. Here, let me show you: Repeat after me: (singing as per director) Baba dada do wop, do wa do! (repeats singing line) Ella Fitzgerald: (singing as per director) saba da, saba da, baba do waa. (repeats singing line) Ella Fitzgerald: (launches into much more advanced and longer scatting line as per director) Woooow. (applause) Ella Fitzgerald: See kids, anyone can do it. Count Basie: Well not anyone, Ella. But it s true before Bebop came Swing, which up until that point was the most popular Jazz of all. In fact, there was even a popular swing tune called It Don t Mean a Thing if it Ain t Got That Swing! So how about it gang you ready to swing?! Let s SWING! Song 6: Hobo Swing
Jessica: Gee guys, that was the best one yet! I can t believe everything we ve learned about Jazz today! Mary: Tell me about it! We ve learned about the different types of Jazz, from Swing to Bebop, from Dixieland to Ragtime, to the Blues! Jessica: Yeah, and we ve even met some great Jazz band leaders and performers. Ella Fitzgerald was a great Jazz singer. Count Basie, Duke Ellington, The Dorsey Brothers and Benny Goodman ruled the Big Band Swing era. Mary: And don t forget legendary trumpeter and singer, Louis Satchmo Armstrong and of course, that puffy cheeked guy who played the angled trumpet, Dizzy Gillespie! Aren t you guys forgetting about someone? He s my favorite of all time. I know all about him. (faster, excited..counting on fingers as he goes) He was born in 1917 in North Carolina. He was a famous Jazz pianist and composer, and he wrote standards like Round Midnight and Well You Needn t. His name is.. Mary: Let me guess.thelonious? THELONIOUS? Thelonious Monk: (enters) Yes, kids. Thelonious. Thelonious Monk, to be exact. And I love Jazz. (astonished) I.I.I think I m going to cry! This is the greatest day of my life! (starts ridiciulous bowing down motion) I m not worthy! I m not worthy!
(laugh) Thelonious: Nice to meet you, Riff. You know, I m glad we ve all gotten to know each other today. I m glad we ve been able to teach you kids something about Jazz. Jazz is truly the music of America. From New Orleans, to Chi-Town, to Harlem, New York we made it for us! We didn t always have our freedom, but Jazz IS freedom. It s the freedom to create, and the freedom to feel. It doesn t matter if it s Big Band Swing, or Ragtime, or Dixieland, or Bebop, the Blues or even the modern Jazz you kids have today. Jazz is OURS. We has it! Now come on kids, let me hear it! Let me hear you say WE HAZ JAZZ! WE HAZ JAZZ!!! Song 7: We Haz Jazz (Reprise-Full)