Hey guys! This is a comfort zone video. I m doing this in one take, and my goal

Transcription

1 Buck teeth, braces, and lip fillers CLICK TO WATCH VIDEO : By Jade Joddle Hey guys! This is a comfort zone video. I m doing this in one take, and my goal today is just to take my time, because I know that the last comfort zone video I did when I was walking outside, I was like not breathing properly, and all my words were coming out really quickly, and I felt this pressure and need to just say everything really, really fast. So the main this today is to take my time! And breathe. So anyway I want to talk about lots of different things. I m gonna connect the dots between some different things today, as I see it, anyway. So we re going to talk about teeth, lips, self consciousness, and see where else it goes, basically. But we ll start off with my teeth, for example. When I was a teen ager, I had braces, when I was about 12, I think? And I had the braces, the train track braces for a year, and then after that I wore one that you can take in and take out, for quite a few years. I think I was told to wear it for two years, but actually I wore it

2 more: I work it like five years. I wore it much longer than the orthodontist said, because they said, If you don t wear this, your teeth will bog back to the shape they were. So I kept wearing them a long time. And what I remember about wearing braces was just a lot of pain. To get the braces in the first place, I had to get these four teeth at the back removed. So I remember the pain of that. And also I remember every time, every month or whatever, when I would go and they would make adjustments. I also remember headaches, a lot of pain, coming home taking painkillers. So it wasn t a very nice experience to have braces, for me. And I ll tell you something, right? I ll tell you something: My teeth are exactly the same now as before I had a brace exactly the same. So yeah I had a couple of teeth out, which made some room for later teeth to come in, but in general it s exactly the same. So I kind of don t really know how I feel about braces for myself in that respect, because I went through a lot of pain, and it didn t make any difference to how my teeth looked. Which brings me to the next thing I want to connect it to, which is: I think your teeth want to be how they are, right? They want to be how they are, because

3 your whole face, everything about how you look, can be interpreted as a reflection of your personality and the kind of your way, your way of expressing yourself, your way of speaking: we can see quite a lot looking at the teeth. So my teeth in particular and what I m talking about here comes from face reading: the way you can analyse the way a person looks to say something about their personality. My teeth tell exactly the story of my life, which is: the bottom teeth, at the bottom, they are, they re definitely not like completely straight. And at the back, they they re not all in a straight line. And in face reading, that means someone that s able to see different sides in an argument. And I have always been like that. Oh, I can imagine someone else s viewpoint; I can step into another person s shoes, for example. And when I was at university, when I was at university, I was told that the essays and the quality of ideas that I wrote in my essays were really, really original. So just as a, as a, as s pondering: Could it be that, yes, my teeth were made straight from wearing the brace, but the way I think, the way my brain works, I ve recreated my teeth not to be in a straight line there?

4 And similarly, on the top, one of my teeth here, the front tooth, goes a little bit forward, and then the other one is straight. Now also in face reading, what it means if you have teeth going forward, like buck teeth, it means shyness and self consciousness. It can mean just in your past, as a child, or it can mean now. And what we see about my teeth is: I have one that s not like that and one that is forward. And what that means in terms of face reading is that I come from a very, very self conscious, shy beginning or childhood, if you like. Or another way of looking at it is to say: There s a difference between my outer self and my inner self. My outer self, in many situations, doesn t appear to be shy. But inner self is still shy, self conscious, still, hasn t really changed in that in how I actually feel inside. So my pondering and my wonder, really, about this is: Let s say I did get braces again, and I had my teeth corrected corrected to be perfect, to be straight, I wonder how that would affect me in terms of my shyness and self consciousness. Knowing that, yes, I did have my braces before, but my teeth have recreated the same, the same shape now. I wonder if it would help me to

5 express my, to express myself in a less self conscious way. I don t think I m going to find that out, because I have no plan to get braces. Which brings me to the next point that: We are living in a time when it s very easy, and often expected, for us to change imperfections about how we look. So for example, you don t like your teeth, your teeth are not straight, then you go and get them made straight. Or you make them all shiny white and perfect. And this is something that obviously is very big in America: to get your teeth made really, really perfect. It does happen in the UK, but not as, um, it s not like a an expected thing that you get your teeth fixed. And what I would say, like in terms of American teeth, the aesthetic that people want to go for is Perfect, isn t it? It s all got to be white, shiny, all the same size, and there s it s not seen as a charming or an attractive thing to have something slightly off. But I think we need to question that aesthetic. Like: Is that what we re really trying to go for? Do we really, really want to be perfect? Is that, is that the, is that the thing that we re always reaching for: to be perfect? But I don t think that Perfect really exists! I think that Perfect is usually a lie, Perfect is just an outside

6 thing: This is how I look, see me as perfect, see me as great, ya know. Whereas inside you can feel something completely different. Which brings me again back to talking about shyness and that kind of thing. Because when I was younger, and I was, I was a lot more shy when I was younger, but that s because I didn t have the skills to I hadn t learned enough about interacting, what to say, what to do. I hadn t learnt enough at that time, so I felt more shy, and I was in more awkward situations, because I just hadn t had as much life experience. And the thing that I discovered was that it doesn t matter how good you learn to be on the surface, ya know: go in a room, you can be charming, you can do this, you can talk to lots of people. And in situations, I can do that, now. I can enjoy myself and I think, Yeah, it s great! I m very, I became very good at not appearing shy, for example: No I m not shy, I m not self conscious, not appearing shy. But inside, in some situations, it s still there, and in sometimes, in very normal situations, other people wouldn t be feeling shy except, you can t necessarily see on the outside.

7 So what I learnt, um, about changing ourselves, when we change ourselves: If we re changing something just to sort of hide something and make it look perfect, ya know, I m not shy anymore, I can talk to anyone. This is just an outside thing. Inside, you still have the feeling that is uncomfortable for you. So in for example my situation, the feeling that s uncomfortable for me is feeling shy and self conscious. And that s what I spent all my life trying to get away from, trying to hide. So when we just change the way we look, for example, if your self consciousness come from, oh, you feel ugly, you feel unattractive, Oh, I hate myself. I ll feel better if I change my teeth, change my nose, whatever, get plastic surgery. It does on the outside make a big difference, doesn t it? You see someone and you think, Oh they look well, when it goes right you think they look so attractive, they look really gorgeous. But inside they probably still feel the same, right? Cause changing how you look on the outside doesn t change how you actually feel about yourself. So if you felt that you were ugly before you changed it, or, ya know, weren t good enough, after you change it, I think you feel the same. Not that I know, because I haven t done any of that stuff, but I did do

8 that stuff in terms of my personality, right? Cause I didn t wanna, didn t want anyone to see that I was shy or self conscious, so I learnt how to hide it. So that s what I m my thoughts about changing stuff, are: Yeah, if you want, if you want, but just have that awareness that it might not give you that inner, that inner um, of feeling good about yourself just because you change the outside. And for anyone who s watching this now, and you re wearing braces, I think something we overlook a lot of the time when we make these sort of decisions, is um, I just wanna, I just wanna look good. And people forget about: how are you actually gonna feel when you re expressing yourself when you have braces. Because we get braces when we re teen agers, most of the time. We stick on the braces, and then we re like, Uh, I can t really talk, I m so embarrassed. And people always mention your braces, or you feel like they re always looking at your braces. The act of talking when your mouth is being like squashed, or pulled apart, is actually very, very uncomfortable. It can expressing yourself speaking, singing, it s like, can stop being a joy overnight to being something painful. So when you do that to your mouth as well, I don t think it s going too far to say it s a kind of trauma to your mouth area, that you put it through so much pain to look perfect, to look good. And you get mouth ulcers, you get food, embarrassing food

9 stuck in your teeth Ya know, I wish I could say to you all: Having braces is like, oh it s worth it in the end, and, you know, just go through it, or just express yourself! Just express yourself. I would love you to express yourself fully and properly while wearing braces. But I know from experience it is hard to do, because you ve got something stuck on your teeth, which makes is harder to speak. And if you ve got stuff stuck on the back of your teeth, which is also quite popular now, because people get hidden braces and that kind of thing. Don t do it, don t do it. Think about that, because being able to speak, saying words clearly, your pronunciation is also important. It s not just about how you look. So you could get these secret kind of braces on and the, Er er er, I can t speak! and then you feel really self conscious as well. So, anyway, people are gonna do what they re gonna do, but my point here is: Is it really worth it? Or sometimes do we just do it because everyone else is doing it? And then we think, I ll feel better at the end of this. Maybe you will, maybe you won t. I m sure that, if your teeth are really irregular, then it s a good thing for you. But if you ve just got, ya know, imperfections, normal imperfections, I don t know how much difference it really makes to you and how you feel about yourself.

10 The next thing I want to mention here is: because we re in the same kind of area, aren t we? I wanna talk about lips, getting trout pout, ya know, getting your mouth made big, OK? Because we ve been living in a time for quite a while now where the beauty that s seen as sexy and is seen as attractive involves big lips, right? And it s a pretty standard for people, for women in the public eye to get lip fillers so that their lips look bigger. And one example I want to talk well, there s two examples that are coming to mind at the moment are: Gigi Gorgeous and also um, the Kardashian why have I forgotten her name? I know all the Kardashians Kylie Jenner. These are famous L.A. celebrities. And the two of them have at some point in their in their, um at some point, have gotten lip fillers and lip injections. But these two in particular have gone from having quite a small lip, to having like luscious, sensual, very full lips now. Kylie Jenner s only 17; not sure how old Gigi Gorgeous is, but she s, I think she s probably in her early 20s. And I can t deny, I m not saying that their lip fillers that they ve got don t look good. I do think it looks good. But we come back to again, when we change something about ourselves because we hate it, doesn t necessarily make the inner feeling go away.

11 And in terms of face reading, small upper lip means a reserved person Um, there s a fly in the room. If you have noticed that fly, usually I would never ever allow a fly to be shown in my video! But because it s a one take video and it s a comfort zone video, I m just gonna let that fly just come and land on the lens in a minute; it s fine by me. Anyway, yeah, in terms of face reading, a small lip means a reserved person, more like, um, more serious kind of person, and tends not to be of like an extroverted nature. If you have a little look at my lips and my face, you ll probably see the same kind of thing going on. Also, my mouth is quite narrow, and in face reading a narrow mouth means um, means like a truthful kind of person, steady person, someone you can rely on, isn t gonna like tell lies about you or say blah blah blah blah. It basically means an honest person. So the small mouth thing that I have going on now is not prized as a kind of beauty standard. What we have now is like the bigger mouth, the much more sensual lip, is seen as is seen as the ideal, is seen as true beauty. And for people who don t have that especially in L.A and those kind of celebrity

12 worlds is like, expectation and pressure, or comparisons to other people. People are thinking, Oh, I need to do it too. But I just wonder here, in terms of face reading, I would be curious to know (not that I m probably gonna have a chance to ask them): But d id changing the lip from quite a small lip give them that extra confidence that they required to be quite vivacious, strong personalities in front of the camera, ya know, always Instagram ing moments of their life. You know, you have to be a bold, forceful, confident, extroverted character to be living these kind of lifestyles. And I wonder if the lip fillers have given them that, the extra outer confidence they knew that they needed to do what they want to do. Plus then, I go back to wondering: OK, is it like what happened to me? Does this make you good at it on the outside? So maybe now on the outside, you know, you re more sensual, you re more out going on the outside, and that s how we see you. But still on the inside, I think so, because this was my journey, you still feel like how you felt before. Because I m guessing that when you, when you change something that s just on the surface level, it doesn t give that deeper, real, in your bones kind of shift and

13 kind of change. And for me personally that s not the kind of change that I m after in my life. If I can get that inner change from doing, doing the work of confidence, doing the work of approving of myself, of doing the work of accepting myself that for me is the kind of change I m going for. If any of you watching this do have lip fillers, blah blah blah, surgery cool, that s good for you. But for me personally at this time in my life maybe later things can change, I change my mind about a lot of things I choose first to accept how I am, how I look, even if it doesn t, even if there are things I don t like or even if it doesn t feel perfect to me. So now I m gonna recommend a book to you, using the what s it Audible subscription. And I m not recommending a speech book as I usually do, a speech or accent book, because I haven t really been talking about that today. The book I recommend to you is called Loving What Is by Byron Katie. And it s all about increasingly coming to acceptance of how things are. And, as kind of a philosophy, to live your life and deal with the things that frustrate you and, um, cause you pain, basically. So if you re interested in the Audible subscription, you can click there.

14 And I hope you have enjoyed this comfort zone video. I m pleased with myself that I got to the end, and I didn t stop, in particular because of the fly. So thank you for watching and see you later. Bye! More Videos Like This: The Comfort Zone Playlist CLICK HERE