West Hertfordshire Hospitals NHS Trust Help for Bereaved Relatives
NOTES The staff wish to express their sincere sympathy to you at this time. This booklet aims to provide some practical help and advice during the early days of your bereavement. Please don t hesitate to ask questions if you are unclear about any matter, our staff will always be pleased to help. 1
How to contact Patient Affairs Our staff in Patient Affairs can give you help and support with anything covered in this booklet. Here is some information on how you can contact them: Hemel Hempstead: 01442 287761/287004. Opening hours: 08.30-16.00, Monday - Friday. (Closed 13.00-14.00) Entrance A, Main Block. Watford General Hospital: 01923 217114/217369/217019. Opening hours 08.30-16.00, Monday - Friday. (closed 13.00-14.00) Level 2, Princess Michael of Kent Wing. If you have any queries regarding a death at St Albans City Hospital, please contact Patient Affairs in Hemel Hempstead (see above). Collection of the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death 2 The Medical Certificate of Cause of Death is usually available on the first working day following death. Please telephone Patient Affairs (see page 2) after 11.00 to arrange a time for collection. You must give the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death to the Registry Office so that an official registration of death can take place. St Albans City Hospital: the doctor on the ward issues the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death.Please contact the appropriate ward: Langton Ward: 01727 897613 Sopwell Ward: 01727 897610 De La Mare: 01727 897139
Registering a death Once the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death has been issued by Patient Affairs (see page 2), you must register the death with the Registrar of Births and Deaths within five working days. There is no charge to register a death unless a certified copy is purchased. Please make an appointment by contacting the appropriate Registry Office. Hemel Hempstead: 01442 426740. Opening hours: 08.30-17.00 Mon - Thursday 08.30-16.00 Friday The Bury, Queensway, Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire. St Albans: Telephone: 01727 774030 The Gate House, Victoria Street, St. Albans AL1 3YW. Opening hours: 08.30-17.00 Mon - Thursday 08.30-16.00 Friday Watford: 01923 231302. 36 Clarendon Road, Watford, Hertfordshire. Opening hours: 08.30-17.00 Mon - Thursday 08.30-16.00 Friday You will need to take along the following information about the person who has died: Medical Certificate of Cause of Death Their full name and surname (and maiden name if married) Their date and place of birth (birth certificate helpful but not essential) Their occupation Their usual home address Any pension or allowance they received (pension books helpful) Date of birth of their surviving widow/widower As well as the purchased Death Certificate, the Registrar will give you a Certificate of Burial or Cremation, which you should give to the Funeral Director. You will also be given a Certificate of Death for Social Security purposes. 3
Duties of the Coroner Some deaths have to be reported to the Coroner for legal reasons. This is usually when a Doctor is unable to issue a Medical Certificate of Cause of Death. The Coroner is appointed by the Queen to investigate certain types of death. If a post-mortem is required, a slight delay may be experienced before the registration and funeral process can take place. A death can be referred to the Coroner if: no precise cause has been established it follows an operation, or if it is possible that it could be due to a complication of surgery or anaesthetics it is not thought to be from natural causes it is due to an injury, however it happened, or if an accident or negligence is alleged it takes place within 24 hours of admission to hospital. There are other times when a death needs to be referred to the Coroner, for example death from industrial diseases, poisoning, suicide, murder, etc. Patient Affairs will be able to help you and give you advice (see page 2). You should wait to hear from the Coroner s office before contacting the Registry office. The Coroner s office telephone numbers are: Hemel Hempstead and St Albans: 01707 897404 Watford: 01707 897403 All deaths that happen in Accident and Emergency will automatically be referred to the Coroner. The Coroner will make a decision regarding the issuing of a Death Certificate. Please contact Patient Affairs (see page 2) or the Coroner s Office. 4
When a death takes place at weekends or Public Holidays While staff will endeavour at all times to assist in the fulfilling of any particular religious requirement you may have in relation to funeral practices, sometimes there are unavoidable delays in the issuing of the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death. In all these circumstances the person s body cannot be released immediately, and a delay is to be expected. The main causes of such delays are listed here. 1. When the death takes place out of hours and when there are no legal reasons for a delay the issuing of the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death may be delayed. Friday afternoon - Monday morning A Public Holiday 2. When there are Legal reasons for a delay: see Section Duties of the Coroner 3. When the funeral is to take place out of England or Wales. An Out of England order will be issued to you by the Coroner beforehand. A Free from Infection Certificate must be issued by the hospital prior to transportation. Your funeral director can arrange for this. The body of a deceased person cannot be released from the hospital until the Death has been registered, and you have been given the correct certificate by the Registrar. Whoever collects the deceased from the hospital must bring the correct documents with them. 5
Patient and Public Involvement Bereavement Survey / discussion groups: The Staff aim to deliver a professional level of care at all times. Consequently we are undertaking a survey of the current provision of care to the dying patient, and support for bereaved relatives and carers. We recognise that this is a difficult time for you, but if you feel able to return the enclosed questionnaire within this booklet you would help us greatly in evaluating and developing our responses to, and immediate support for, relatives and friends of those who have died within this hospital. If you would prefer to talk with a member of staff, an interview based on the questionnaire can be arranged. Alternatively you may find it helpful to share your views and ideas with others who have had a similar experience. If so, we would like to invite you to attend a discussion group as part of the survey. We hope you feel able to complete the questionnaire and return it in the pre-paid envelope provided. You can be sure that however you choose to participate in this survey your responses will not only be treated in confidence but will be invaluable in helping us gain a greater awareness of the quality of care provided in this highly sensitive area of our work. It will assist us to improve the care we offer to relatives, friends and carers in future. If you would like further information about Patient and Public Involvement please contact The Head of patient services: 01923 217803 6
Belongings You can collect belongings from the Patient Affairs Office (see page 2) at the same time as the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death or in the case of St Albans City Hospital from the ward at the same time as the collection of the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death. Chapel of Rest Patient Affairs can help you to arrange a viewing in the Chapel of Rest (see page 2). Funeral Directors have their own facilities where you can also pay your last respects. Viewings can only take place during working hours and by appointment. Bereavement Care provided by the Spiritual and Pastoral Care Team The Spiritual and Pastoral Care Team is made up of chaplains and spiritual healthcare providers whose role is to provide spiritual, pastoral and religious care for parents and their relatives. Chaplaincy staff are able to provide bereavement counselling as well as practical advice during the early days of your bereavement. Chaplains can also help you to find appropriate ongoing support from among a wide variety of local organisations including faith communities. Hemel Hempstead and St Albans: 01442 287600 Watford: 01923 217994 7
Organ, Tissue and Body Donations Patient Affairs (see page 2) will advise you on all matters relating to organ and tissue donations for the benefit of others or the giving of a body for use in teaching anatomy to medical students. Arranging a Funeral You may contact a Funeral Director 24 hours a day, including weekends. Your chosen Funeral Director can make all the necessary arrangements and can also advise you on all the procedures and documents you will need as well as the timing of the funeral service. They may come to your house if you prefer. Your own Minister, Priest or religious leader and the Hospital Chaplains may also be of great help during this difficult time (see page 7). Most Funeral Directors belong to the NAFD (National Association of Funeral Directors) and/or SAIF (Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors) and/or the BIFD (British Institute of Funeral Directors). These associations have their own codes of practice that must be followed to ensure consistant levels of service and standards. Patient Affairs can give you a list of local Funeral Directors (see page 2). Funerals are expensive although basic costs tend to be similar. However, the final cost can vary considerably. Do not be afraid to mention your budget. Financial help may be available if you receive benefits, or if the person who has died has no next of kin. Please ask Patient Affairs about this (see page 2). Contact the DSS before making any arrangements (see page 15). If the person who has died was a War Pensioner, you may be able to get a grant form: War Pensions Branch, DSS, Norcross, Blackpool, FY5 3WP. Telephone: 0800 1692277 8
State benefits The Registrar of Births and Deaths will have given you a Notification of Death Certificate, which you need to send or take to a DSS office after you have filled it in. Further information is available in a DSS booklet What to do after death in England and Wales (D49) available from any DSS office (see page 15). Some advice you may find helpful Do try to talk about what happened with your family, a close friend or a sympathetic support group (see from page 11) Someone within this group may be able to help you find a Funeral Director Don t let anyone hurry you into making decisions until you are ready, especially with regard to funeral arrangements Don t be afraid to tell the Funeral Director if you only have a limited amount of money for the funeral. They will help and advise you Your local religious community may be of help to you at this time; don t be afraid to contact them even if you are not a practising member Do take care of yourself; eat properly and try to rest Consult your family doctor who is there to help Take care not to enter into any financial arrangements that you do not understand Give yourself time to adjust to life without your loved one before making any major changes 9
Do remember to contact any of the organisations mentioned overleaf if you require help or would like to talk through any difficulties We all grieve differently. You may have all sorts of mixed feelings and emotions. These can include numbness, panic, anger and deep despair. They are all normal feelings when you have been bereaved Give yourself time to work through your grief. It may take longer than you think Do seek the support of friends, family or a caring organisation. This booklet includes some numbers of caring organisations who can offer help and support (see from page 11). 10
The Way Foundation 0870 011 3450 www.wayfoundation.org.uk The Way Foundation provides a self-help social and support network for men and women widowed under the age of 50, and their children. Funeral Directors Please ask Patient Affairs if you would like a list of local Funeral Directors. They will be happy to help (see page 2). Notes Infant & Child Death Advice & Support Organisations Babyloss www.babyloss.co.uk reachout@babyloss.com Babyloss is an exclusively online resource for anyone whose life has been touched by pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or neonatal death. Medical advice is not given Child Death Helpline 0800 282 986 www.childdeathhelpline.org.uk Monday - Friday 10.00-13.00, every evening 1900-2200. A freephone service for all affected by the death of a child. Staffed by bereaved parent volunteers. This is not a counselling service. Childhood Bereavement Network www.ncb.org.uk/cbn 0115 911 8070 Provides access to information, guidance and support services for bereaved children, their families and carers. Compassionate Friends www.tcf.org.uk Helpline: 0845 123 2304 Open 7 days/week 10.00-16.00 18.30-22.30 An organisation of bereaved parents and their families helping others through their grief after the death of a child (at whatever age). Offers support by befriending, group, letter/e.mail, newsletter, useful publications, postal library and a programme of informal weekend retreats and an annual weekend gathering. 18 This publication has been prepared by the Patient Affairs and the Spiritual and Pastoral Care Dept (2007) 11
CONI (Care of the Next Infant) www.sids.org.uk (search on CONI) Care of the next infant - programme offers advice, support and practical help to cot death parents and families whose babies have died for other reasons. FSID Helpline (The Foundation for the Study of Infant Death (SIDS) www.sids.org.uk Helpline: 0870 787 0554 24hr advice For parents whose babies have died as a result of sudden infant death. The Miscarriage Association 01924 200799 Monday - Friday 9.00-16.00 Information and support for all who have experienced pregnancy loss. SANDS (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society) 0207 436 5881 www.uk.sands.org For parents who experience the loss of a baby during or after the birth. S.P.R.I.N.G (Support for Parents and Relatives in Neonatal Grief) 01202 448084 (Maternity Services Counsellor) 24 hr voicemail Open meetings held 1st Wednesday of every month 19.30-21.00. www.spring.uk.com Counselling and befriending service providing support to parents and relatives who have experienced the loss of a baby before or around birth; including miscarriage, stillbirth, and termination for fetal abnormality. 12 The Samaritans 08457 909090, 24 hour service. Offers confidential telephone support for all in despair. SIBBS (Support in Bereavement for Brothers and Sisters) Helpline: 08451 23 23 04 Open 7 days/week 10.00-16.00 18.30-22.30 A sister organisation to Compassionate Friends www.tcf.org.uk click on Search box and type Siblings. A nationwide self-help support group for people who have experienced the death of a brother or sister. Offers the same support as Compassionate Friends. (see separate entry). SOBS (Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide) Helpline: 0870 241 3337 www.uk-sobs.org.uk MONTHLY MEETINGS HELD CONTACT 01923 245920 For those who have experienced the suicide of someone close to them. The Peace Hospice Bereavement Services and Network Helpline 01923 229595 24 Hour voicemail with rapid response to your call Professional support following a death Offers counselling, visits and children s grief support programme (Stars) Victim Support Western Area 01923 212766 Monday - Friday 9.00-17.00 Offers practical support and advice for victims of crime, suicide or any sudden death. Sudden Death Support Association 0118 989 2574 An organisation to help relatives and close friends of people who die suddenly. It is run by people who have experienced this type of loss themselves. 17
Harrow Bereavement Care 0208 427 5720 Monday, Wednesday, Friday 9.00-13.00 24 hour answer phone Link Youth Counselling Service Counselling services for 14-25 year olds free and confidential 01895 238884 Monday - Friday 10.30-19.30 Wednesday: 13.30-19.30 Based in the Hillingdon area but offers contact details for counselling servics in other areas. Jewish Bereavement Counselling Service 0208 385 1874 www.jvisit.org.uk/jbcs London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard 0207 8377324 24 hrs telephone service, not voicemail. Bereavement support for lesbian and gay people. Lynda Jackson Macmillan Centre for cancer support and information 01923 844014 Monday - Friday 9.30-13.00 14.00-16.30 Free drop-in and telephone information service for cancer patients and their carers. National Association of Widows 02476 634848 Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, 9.00-16.00. Offers social support. Pension Service Hemel Hempstead / St Albans / Watford 0845 6060 265 Advice & Support Organisations African and Descendants Counselling 0208 883 2691, usually 10.00-16.00 Answering Service: calls will be returned. East Finchley Neighbourhood Centre, Room 3 42 Church Lane East Finchley London N2 8DT. Age Concern Hemel Hempstead (Dacorum area) 01442 259049 Monday - Friday 9.30-16.00 Hertfordshire Information Line: 0845 601 3446 Harrow and Pinner area 0208 861 7980 Monday - Friday 10.00-13.00 Asian Advisory Service 0208 533 5796 9.30-16.30, Monday - Friday 1st Floor, 161 Mare Street Hackney London E8 3RH. Counselling support, offered in Gujarati, Punjabi, Hindu, Urdu and Bengali. BACUP A free nationwide telephone information and counselling service offering Support for people with cancer, their relatives and friends. 0808 800 1234 16 13
LINK Youth Counselling Service 01895 238884 Hillingdon Link Based in the Hillingdon area, but will offer contact numbers for people in other areas. Counselling services for 14-25 year olds. Free and confidential. Citizens Advice Bureau www.adviceguide.org.uk Hemel Hempstead 01442 213368/263501 Monday 10.00-12.00 + 13.00-16.00 (drop in service) 17.00-20.00 (appointments only) Tuesday 10.00-12.00 (drop in service) 13.00-16.00 (drop in service) Wednesday Closed Thursday 10.00-12.00 (drop in service) 13.00-16.00 (drop in service) Friday 10.00-12.00 (drop in service) Closed in Afteroon Watford 01923 234949 Drop in Mon, Wed, Thurs, Fri: 10.00-16.00 Tues: 13.00-16.00 Telephone calls only. St Albans 01727 855269/811118 Drop in Mon, Tues, Fri: 10.00-16.00 Wed: 10.00-13.00 Thurs: 10.00-16.00; 17.00-19.00 Grove House (In the grounds of ST Albans City Hospital) 01727 843401 Mon - Fri: 10.00-16.00 (drop in service) Cancer bereavement advice for family, carers and friends. Cruse Bereavement Care Hertfordshire Admin: 01707 269497 Referrals: 01707 278389 The Old Courthouse, St Albans Rd East Hatfield AL10 0ES. Cruse Helpline (National) 0870 167 1677 Monday - Friday 9.30-17.00 www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk An organisation that offers general and practical advice, details on benefits and local cruse organisations to anyone who has been bereaved. Cruse also provides bereavement counselling, and befriending. Cruse Bereavement Care Youth Line Freephone helpline: 0808 808 1677 www.rd4u.org.uk A website for children and young people aged between 12-18 who have been bereaved. Also has details of a confidential telephone number for professional confidential bereavement counselling. Department of Social Security (DSS) Hemel Hempstead / St Albans / Watford 01923 208200 Monday, Tuesday, Thursday 8.30-16.30 Wednesday 10.00-16.00, Friday 8.30-16.00 East London Asian Family Counselling 0207 377 8640 Monday - Friday 9.30-17.00, plus answer phone 183-185 Whitechapel Road London E1 1DW. Counselling support offered in Bengali. 14 15