Chapter 15 How Can I Manage Alcoholism and Drug Addiction For the Long-term? T My fiancé has been up and down with this problem for three years. He was drinking about a case of beer almost every night. He has had every intention to stop his drinking, go to meetings, etc. In fact he did stop drinking for almost seven months, but, then he got into Jack Daniels, and well, he s been a prisoner of the bottle ever since. -Marilyn M. 167
Making the decision to abstain from ALL alcohol and other drugs is the first step in the management of your disease. Safely detoxifying from ALL alcohol and other drugs is the second step. The third step in the effective management of the disease of alcoholism and drug addiction is to identify and enroll in the appropriate treatment option(s) as outlined in chapter 14, What Treatment Options Are Available to Me? Because alcoholism and drug addiction are a chronic, progressive, and prone to relapse disease, the fourth step in the management of alcoholism and drug addiction is to develop long-term management strategies that will enable you to maintain abstinence from ALL alcohol and other drugs over the long haul. What are effective long-term strategies for the management of your disease? The recommendations I make to my clients are as follows. Pathfinder s Checklist Long-term management strategies for the effective management of the disease of alcoholism and drug addiction 1) Develop a Recovery-based lifestyle. 2) Place the preservation of your abstinence at the forefront of every choice that you make, every belief that you honor, every action that you take, every place that you go, and every person that you go with. 3) Preserve the health and well-being of the four building blocks of a Recovery-based lifestyle your 169
ASK DR. STEVE... How Can I Tell If I Have a Problem with Alcohol and Other Drugs? physical well-being, your psychological well-being, your social well-being, and your spiritual wellbeing. 4) Develop a Recovery-based support system to help you remain abstinent from ALL alcohol and other drugs. 5) Participate in Recovery-based support groups to help you remain abstinent from ALL alcohol and other drugs. 6) Participate in a Recovery-based program of selfexamination to help you remain abstinent from ALL alcohol and other drugs. 7) Participate in a program of spiritual development of your own choosing to help you remain abstinent from ALL alcohol and other drugs. I ll briefly discuss each of the above seven points. If you would like more information about what a Recovery-based lifestyle is and how you can best develop a Recovery-based lifestyle please read Ask Dr. Steve... How Can I Stay Clean and Sober?, Ask Dr. Steve... How Can I [Re]Construct A Recovery-based Lifestyle?, and Ask Dr. Steve... How Can I Build A Spiritual Practice. Develop a Recovery-based lifestyle. A Recovery-based lifestyle is a way of life in which you abstain from the consumption of ALL alcohol and other drugs. To develop a Recovery-based lifestyle you must make specific changes in how you live your life. These changes include but are not limited to: The places you go The people you go with 170
How Can I Manage Alcoholism and Drug Addiction for the Long-term? The actions you take and don t take The ways in which you relate to the people in your life The ways in which you take care of your emotional and physical well-being The ways in which you manage the stress in your life How you structure your day The accountability with which you live your life The honesty with which you relate to yourself and others For a more detailed discussion of what a Recovery-based lifestyle is and how you can create one, please read Ask Dr. Steve... How Can I [Re]Construct A Recovery-based Lifestyle?, Ask Dr. Steve... How Can I Stay Clean and Sober?, and Ask Dr. Steve... How Can I Create My Spiritual Practice? Place the preservation of your abstinence at the forefront of every choice that you make, every belief that you honor, every action that you take, every place that you go, and every person that you go with. In order to effectively manage the disease of alcoholism and drug addiction you ll need to learn how to prevent relapse. Preventing relapse occurs by altering how you live your life. You alter how you live your life by developing a Recovery-based belief system, a Recoverybased style of thinking, and Recovery-based behaviors. These new Recovery-based beliefs, thoughts, and actions are what will guide your choices as you confront the circumstances of your day-to-day life. Through the rigorously consistent application of Recovery-based beliefs, thoughts, and actions, you ll manage your disease and prevent the occurrence of relapse. If you would like more information about how to develop Recovery-based beliefs, thoughts, and actions please read Ask Dr. Steve... How Can I Stay Clean and Sober? 171
ASK DR. STEVE... How Can I Tell If I Have a Problem with Alcohol and Other Drugs? Protect and preserve the health and well-being of the four building blocks of your Recovery-based lifestyle your physical well-being, your psychological well-being, your social well-being, and your spiritual well-being. We discussed in chapter 10 the idea that alcoholism and drug addiction are a bio-psycho-social-spiritual disease. To best manage your disease, you must ensure that you restore and maintain your physical, psychological, social, and spiritual wellbeing. I explain in detail the specifics of how to restore and maintain your physical, psychological, social, and spiritual wellbeing in Ask Dr. Steve... How Can I Stay Clean and Sober? and Ask Dr. Steve... How Can I Create My Spiritual Practice? Develop a Recovery-based support system to help you remain abstinent from ALL alcohol and other drugs. Although I know people who have been able to abstain from alcohol and other drugs without any help from others, it perplexes me as to why anyone would want to do so. Maintaining long-term abstinence from ALL alcohol and other drugs is an enormously challenging undertaking. Having people in your life who can teach you how to remain abstinent and support your efforts is what makes this enormously challenging undertaking much more do-able. For this reason the development and maintenance of a Recovery-based support system is an essential strategy of the long-term management of your disease. Participate in Recovery-based support groups to help you remain abstinent from ALL alcohol and other drugs. This tends to be a big sticking point for many people. The questioning goes something like this why do I have to attend support group meetings? Why do I have to bare my soul to strangers? How can those people possibly help me? How can I explain to the people in my life where I go and why I must go there? All understandable questions, but each of them are very much 172
How Can I Manage Alcoholism and Drug Addiction for the Long-term? beside the point. Recovery-based support meetings afford you the opportunity to have others aid and comfort you in the active management of your long-term sobriety. What you learn in these meetings about yourself, about the disease of alcoholism and drug addiction, about the process of relapse will enable you to prevent relapse and effectively manage your disease. Participate in a Recovery-based program of self-examination to help you remain abstinent from ALL alcohol and other drugs. The biggest mistake that I observe other people make in trying to manage their disease is trying to change what they do without changing who they are. Based on my observations, that s an impossible feat. A Recoverybased program provides you with the necessary steps and tools to examine who you are so that you can most effectively change what you do. Participating in a process of rigorous selfhonesty enables you to see who you have become and gain a glimpse of who you have the potential to be. For more information about self-examination, please read my books Moving Mountains: Magical Choices For Empowering Your Life s Journey and Stepping Out of the Shadows: [Re]connecting With Your Life s Journey. Participate in a program of spiritual development of your own choosing to help you remain abstinent from ALL alcohol and other drugs. A cornerstone of Recovery is a spiritual [re]awakening. Through the [re]development of a relationship with your Higher Power, you ll be better able to manage the disease of alcoholism and drug addiction. By [re]developing a relationship with your Higher Power, you ll let go of your overreliance on your self-will and rely on your relationship with your Higher Power to manage your cravings and your compulsion to consume alcohol and other drugs. For more information about how best to develop a 173
ASK DR. STEVE... How Can I Tell If I Have a Problem with Alcohol and Other Drugs? spiritual practice, please read Ask Dr. Steve... How Can I Create My Spiritual Practice? Just remember, Rome wasn t built in a day. Achieving and maintaining abstinence from ALL alcohol and other drugs is the most important accomplishment that you ll achieve in your life. Achieving abstinence is a lifetime of work that can only be accomplished One day at a time. Remember, to take it easy, take it slow, and take it light. As you weather any number of storms that await you on the horizon, hang on to the belief that life is infinitely better without consuming alcohol and other drugs. There are people out there who want to help you discover the truth of that statement for yourself so please let them! 174