Make a difference. Adopt. Information guide

Transcription

1 Make a difference Adopt Information guide

2 Contents What is adoption? 4 Who can adopt? 6 When adoption may not be 9 the right way forward The children waiting for adoption 10 Concurrent planning 12 Your pathway to adoption 14 The steps to adoption 16 Contact with birth family 23 and relatives Post-adoption support 24 What is the next step? 25 Further information 26 2 Make a difference, Adopt

3 Foreword As Director of Children and Young People s Services, I would like to thank you for coming to Suffolk Adoption Agency to find out about adopting a Suffolk child. Suffolk County Council is committed to the health, safety, education and welfare of all young people in our county. We know that children thrive and develop most fully when they have a secure, safe, caring, consistent family home where they can look forward to the future with a degree of confidence and certainty. For some children who cannot remain with their birth family, adoptive parents are able to provide this home. This booklet is designed to give you a brief overview of the process involved in being approved as an adopter. It should also help you decide whether you are at the right place in your life to take your interest further. Adoption is a life-long commitment and the decision to adopt is a big one. You have already taken the first step and we very much appreciate that. Sue Cook Director for Children and Young People Thank you for coming to Suffolk Adoption Agency to find out about adopting a Suffolk child Make a difference, Adopt 3

4 Adoption is a life long commitment to a child Adoption is the legal process by which parental responsibility for a child or young person is given to a new parent or parents. Adoption means that children who cannot be cared for by their birth parents can still have the chance to grow up as part of a caring family. A permanent family home where a child can thrive Adoption is a permanent, life-long commitment to a child. It means being able to provide a stable, loving home that gives a child a chance to achieve their best, be happy and feel that they have parents who are there for them. A nurturing, safe place to grow up Children need parents who can stick by them through good times and bad. They may need extra support to overcome a troubled past, make sense of who they are and grow up feeling safe. This gives a sense of security, which is essential to develop the ability to relate well to other people. Adoptive parents have the ability to offer this safe and nurturing environment. What is adoption? Adoption is the legal process by which parental responsibility for a child or young person is given to a new parent or parents 4 Make a difference, Adopt

5 It wasn't easy at first, but we had a lot of help and support from the Agency. We're now two years on and Julie and Jenny are happy, confident members of our family whom we love very much. - RS Woodbridge Make a difference, Adopt 5

6 Who Can Adopt? A range of backgrounds, cultures and ethnic groups We need adopters from a wide range of backgrounds and cultures who will help children understand their heritage. We are especially keen to attract adopters who are able to reflect the diverse ethnicities of the children in our care. Your own race, age, religious, cultural or social background should not be a barrier to adoption. People who adopt can be single, married, gay, heterosexual, lesbian, employed or on benefits, and from any religious or ethnic group. We would like prospective adopters to consider what their own background and life experience could bring to help a child establish their identity and sense of belonging. Over 21 and in reasonable health To apply to adopt you must be over 21 years of age and preferably older. Although there is no legal upper age limit, you need to have a reasonable expectation of parenting a child into adult life. Adoption can be very demanding, physically and emotionally this is why age, health and lifestyle of applicants are all considered as part of the assessment process. Being disabled does not exclude you from adopting. Settled and stable Generally, you should live and expect to remain in Suffolk for three years following the commencement of the assessment. If you are in a partnership (heterosexual or same sex, married, in a civil partnership or living together) the expectation is that both applicants are assessed together and that you have lived together in a stable relationship for at least three years. Most importantly you will have the ability to develop into a parent that can care and help a child be the best they can be. 6 Make a difference, Adopt

7 What Are We Looking For? We find that the most successful adopters are those who show an ability to empathise with the child. They will have had experience of children through their own extended family or friends, through volunteering or work with children. Adopters are patient, are able to cope with some uncertainty, have a flexible approach to life and know the value of seeking help and support from family, friends and professionals. Wait a while We would recommend that you wait from six to twelve months after you have completed infertility treatment after a miscarriage after a family bereavement. It helps to have a period of time to recover from these sad events. Adopters tell us that they needed this time to recharge their batteries. Similarly, if you have just moved or are considering moving you should wait until you are settled. Moves can be chaotic and stressful and leave little time for you to be thinking about new family members. If you are undergoing any medical treatment which may affect your ability to engage fully in the adoption process you should wait. You should have been a non smoker for one year and understand the importance of a healthy lifestyle for both you and for children. The most important thing is that when you apply to adopt a child, you are at a time in your life when you are able to focus fully upon the adoption process and the needs of the child / children you wish to adopt. We recommend at least a two year age gap between an existing child and a new child coming into the family. This means any child already in your family should be over three years old when you apply. Your new adopted child needs to be the youngest in the family. Make a difference, Adopt 7

8 We knew that with their arrival our lifestyle would change significantly. T & P C North Suffolk 8 Make a difference, Adopt

9 When adoption may not be the right way forward Adoption is about being fully able to meet a child or young person s needs and providing a settled and stable home. Consequently, there are certain personal difficulties that may adversely affect your likelihood of being approved as an adopter. For example, any of the situations below may prevent your application to adopt: Serious mental health problems Alcohol or drug dependency When you, or a member of your household, have a criminal record relating to violent or abusive crimes against children or adults Not being a permanent UK resident Not having a settled or stable lifestyle At a time of change e.g. moving house, changing career etc Having had a child of your own taken into care in the past or if there have been concerns about your parenting Certain laws affect who can, or cannot be approved as adopters. In addition, our policies reflect the philosophy expressed in the National Adoption Standards. These can be read at: We are happy to discuss any of these issues. Do contact us if you are not sure whether something may apply to you, as we still welcome your interest. Make a difference, Adopt 9

10 We particularly need adoptive families for: Babies and young children whose development is affected by birth parents substance or alcohol abuse Children who may be affected by parental mental health or learning difficulties. Children over three years of age Sibling groups of two or more children Disabled children of all ages Children with emotional or behavioural difficulties linked to their early childhood experiences Children of dual heritage. A safe, permanent home is vital for all these children who are rewarding to parent and respond very positively to their new families. Suffolk Adoption Agency is keen to encourage applications from people offering adoptive homes to children in these groups. I need parents who love me because I am me The children waiting for adoption 10 Make a difference, Adopt

11 Profiles of children Katie 4 and Christopher 3 are a white sister and brother who need a family where they can grow up together. They are chatty and friendly children who are meeting all their developmental milestones. Katie and Christopher have experienced a chaotic start to life including witnessing domestic violence whilst in the care of their birth parents. Their birth mother would like to receive annual letters to know how they are getting on. Amy is 2 years old. She is a gorgeous little girl with big blue eyes, a contagious smile and fantastic chuckle. Amy has complex health needs as she was affected by her mother s use of nicotine, alcohol and heroin before she was born. Her development is on target but she may have special needs. John aged 9 months is of white and black Caribbean heritage. He has blue eyes, brown hair and pale skin. John is described by his foster carer as an easy baby to care for. His development is a little delayed and he needs help with sitting up. There is a history of learning difficulties in John s birth family that he may have inherited. He has an older sibling who has been adopted and we would like the children to have contact with each other. Max is 4 years old. His foster carers describe him as an endearing little boy. Max needs lots of individual encouragement, time and attention. He flourishes in a calm environment where he can do plenty of activities with his carers. Max can be challenging at times but responds to clear explanations and boundaries. Max has a chromosomal abnormality but it is difficult to predict how this might affect him in the future. Here are some fictitious examples of children who need adoptive families. Check out our website for profiles of children waiting for adopters in Suffolk now Make a difference, Adopt 11

12 Concurrent Planning We are also very keen to recruit people who would consider being approved as adopters and foster carers. These carers would foster a child whilst other options are being considered by the Courts. In most cases these placements lead to the carers being given the Court s permission to apply to adopt. But it is also possible that the Court may decide that the child may ultimately live with birth family. It offers the advantage of a placement of a very young child. As different permanence plans for the child are being considered alongside each other, we call this concurrent planning. If you think you could consider this valuable type of placement, please talk to us in more detail. 12 Make a difference, Adopt

13 John needs adopters who can positively promote his heritage. Make a difference, Adopt 13

14 Your pathway to adoption From the moment you first consider adopting you are on a journey to discover if adoption is right for you and what kind of parent you might be. That journey is made together with the social workers and staff at an adoption agency, whose job it is to make sure that prospective adopters are the best possible parents for the children in need of a home. The first part of the journey needs you to map out the route and learn about adopting and parenting a child. 1 Exploration: Your adoption journey starts with exploration about the road ahead. Have you looked at our website? 2 Contact us Phone and talk to an adoption worker. Attend an information event (details on our website or phone the Adoption Team ) and decide whether the time is right for you to make a formal application 14 Make a difference, Adopt

15 3 Complete your application form You will go to your GP for a medical You will learn about what adoption will mean for you and your family 4 The Assessment You will be allocated an adoption worker to complete the detailed home study 5 You and your adoption worker will attend a panel where your application is considered. A Senior Manager in Suffolk County Council Children s Services makes the final decision 6 Working together to identify a match It is important to find the right child and this can take time. When everyone is happy to proceed, the Panel will be asked to consider the match 7 Moving in and becoming a family After a planned programme of introductions, the child will move in with you. Social workers will visit until the Court makes the Adoption Order Make a difference, Adopt 15

16 The steps to adoption If at first it seems that there are many steps to climb before you are approved to adopt, remember that adoption is a life long commitment. Together we need to be really sure that it is the right way forward 1. Information Exchange The information meeting You can book this via our website or by phoning us. The process can be divided broadly into four stages: Information exchange Initial assessment Preparation Main assessment This will be your chance to meet with other prospective adopters and members of the adoption team. This is an opportunity for you to share with us your reasons for considering adoption and for us to explore with you if this is the right time for you to apply. If we agree, then you will be given a detailed questionnaire to complete which confirms your wish to continue with the adoption process. Full and open discussion It is important to mention any past problems or issues in your life as early as possible in the process as this may help avoid difficulties with your 16 Make a difference, Adopt

17 application later on for example, if you have had mental or physical health problems or unresolved relationship issues. We need to be confident that we can work together in an open and trusting manner. Most importantly we both need to be sure that adoption is the right choice for you at this time. Information meetings are held on a monthly basis. 2. The Initial Assessment We consider your completed questionnaire and make a decision whether to proceed further. At this point we will need to meet with you to confirm your learning needs and commence the following statutory checks: An enhanced criminal record check (DBS) Contacting your four personal references and one family referee Reference from previous partners if applicable Local Authority checks in areas where you have lived before If you already have children we will need to write to your Health Visitor or Child s school. If they are grown up we will need to write to them. A Medical with your GP The full medical check is to ensure that you are likely to remain sufficiently healthy to be able to parent a child through to adulthood. You will be responsible for the cost of this and any further required medical checks. Smoking, alcohol consumption and weight issues are taken into consideration. In the light of an increased recognition nationally of the harmful affects of smoking, Suffolk Adoption Agency has a policy in relation to this. Because of the Make a difference, Adopt 17

18 significant risks to children from passive smoking we will not place a child under the age of five with anyone who smokes unless there are exceptional circumstances. Why so many checks? We are often asked why we take up so many references and what these involve. Sadly, there have been cases where adoptive parents have been evasive about their past behaviour and personal history which has led to unsafe placements. Legislation requires all adoption agencies to carry out checks. Because children in care are very vulnerable, we need to safeguard their welfare when we place them for adoption. You should note that in this context, if you have had previous partners and children from previous relationships we shall need to make contact with them. When all the references and medicals have been received we will make a decision as to whether to accept your application. We will suggest practical ways in which you might strengthen your application and prepare yourself for the role of adoptive parent(s) - for example by gaining experience of children in the age group you propose to parent, and learning more about the implications of early trauma for a child s future development. We aim to complete this initial assessment in eight weeks and will need your help to achieve this 18 Make a difference, Adopt

19 Becoming adoptive parents was the best decision we have ever made. LY Ipswich Make a difference, Adopt 19

20 3. Preparation The preparation course We will also meet with you to talk about your learning and preparation to become an adoptive parent. You will be invited to take part in a three day preparation course with other prospective adopters. There is also additional training available to help you develop your knowledge further. The preparation course will give you the opportunity to learn about the complexities of the adoption process. It will help you be clear about the needs of the children awaiting adoptive families and you will hear about the reality of adoption from adoptive parents. Working together in this way gives us the chance to get to know you better. 4. Main Assessment Detailed home study You have six months to decide when to proceed. We may advise how long you should wait before embarking on the next stage. In the home study we will spend time evaluating your circumstances, lifestyle and motivations. During this assessment we will encourage and help you to contribute written material about yourselves. This will be included in the assessment report presented at the Permanence Panel. We will help you reflect and develop your parenting skills and understanding of adoption. We will tell you about the range of needs of Suffolk children, and provide sources of information regarding children requiring placement regionally and nationally. The main part of the assessment is a series of visits made by an adoption social worker to your home. During this time the social worker gets to know you and your family and spends time helping you think about what strengths you could bring to adoptive parenting. This will include conversations about your childhood, experiences of parenting, history of 20 Make a difference, Adopt

21 relationships with family, friends and partners. You will be asked about how you dealt with past experiences positive and negative, how you get on with your family and friends now and what sort of parents you want to be. How you reflect on your own past experiences may be important in the future as you help your child reflect on things that have happened in their early years. We aim to complete this assessment in four months. Going to Panel Once your assessment is complete your application will be presented to Suffolk Permanence Panel. This is a group of independent people who will consider whether to recommend your approval as a prospective adopter(s). You are invited and encouraged to attend Panel where you can meet panel members and discuss any concerns raised by the assessing social worker or panel members prior to the approval decision. A Senior Manager in Suffolk County Council s Children s Services makes the final decision about your application. Approved If your application is successful you will become an approved adopter and can then be considered for matching with a child / children awaiting adoption. Not Approved In the event that the agency decision maker is considering not to agree your application to adopt, there is an Independent Review Mechanism (IRM) that can consider your case. You will be provided with more information about the IRM at the beginning of your assessment. At all times, we aim to provide continuing information and support to help applicants achieve the most appropriate outcome of their application. We welcome all feedback that assists us to do this. Make a difference, Adopt 21

22 Supportive approach Adopting can be quite a personally challenging journey but you will have an allocated worker to guide you through the whole process. We will ensure you have clear information about how you are getting on and the timescales. You will attend a Preparation course and be expected to undertake additional reading and learning in your own time. You will receive full information about any child being considered and have the opportunity to speak with those directly involved in the child s care, including carers and medical professionals. This enables you to consider fully the implications for parenting a particular child before coming to a decision. You will receive full written information prior to placement. We continue to offer you support after adoption through groups and events with other adoptive families in addition to more intensive support from the Adoption Support Team. 22 Make a difference, Adopt

23 Contact with birth family and direct relatives Children have roots A child s life does not begin the day they are adopted. Keeping in touch with birth relatives can help young people understand about their roots. It can also sometimes make it easier to come to terms with their personal history. It can provide a sense of continuity in their lives and help the child to attach fully to their adoptive family. Research has shown that where contact works well, the child grows up having a more realistic view of their birth relatives. It encourages greater openness about adoption and the adoptive placement is more likely to be successful. Contact with birth family members Adoption is now far more open than in the past, and it is generally accepted that links with significant family members can be a positive experience for all involved. This is usually arranged through the exchange of letters, using the Agency s Letterbox scheme to ensure addresses are kept confidential. In some cases it may be appropriate for a child to have face-to-face contact with a birth family member who supports the adoption. Such arrangements are supported by the Agency again with all necessary confidentiality of location being maintained. Make a difference, Adopt 23

24 Post-Adoption Support We recognise that adoptive parenting brings with it particular and sometimes challenging issues for both adopters and their children, and for this reason all involved need to feel that ongoing support is always available. Support services The Suffolk Adoption Agency has a team of adoption social workers dedicated to post adoption support. Post-adoptive services offer ongoing support throughout the process and adopters are assisted to obtain the help they need, when they need it. These services can also facilitate resolving any problem that may arise in maintaining contact arrangements with the birth family. Similarly where children are seeking information about birth family members, or other information from their past, the post adoption support service can help. A post-adoption social worker will be able to assist children and their adoptive families to identify where to find the help they may need. Our adoption support service is strengthened by our membership with the LINK Adoption Support Service (a service which Barnardos offer all adoptive families in the region on behalf of Agencies in East Anglia). Support Groups Adopters are encouraged to join a local support group to help build for themselves a local network of support with other adoptive parents. There are a number of these groups both in Suffolk and other areas of the country. 24 Make a difference, Adopt

25 What is the Next Step? Decide whether it is the right time for you to adopt Contact us: phone to talk to an adoption worker Attend an information event. If you would like to pursue your interest further or wish to talk to someone about adoption please contact us at: Adoption Recruitment and Assessment Team, Suffolk County Council, 8 Russell Road, Ipswich IP1 2BX fostering-and-adoption/adoption Make a difference, Adopt Make a difference, Adopt 25

26 Further information Your first point of contact for adopting in Suffolk British Association for Adoption and Fostering ( Skyline House, 200 Union Street, London SE1 OLX A wealth of information, advice, books and resources. First4Adoption.org.uk Provides information about adoption and adoption agencies - an organization set up by adopters for adopters which provides support and information. Recommended books Adopting a Child A Guide for People Interested in Adoption BAAF Parenting Matters series, BAAF Many issues covered including parenting a child with developmental delay, with emotional and behavioural difficulties or those affected by parental substance misuse. Pink Guide to Adoption for Lesbians and Gay Men, BAAF Essential step by step guide for lesbians and gay men considering adoption Adopters on Adoption, David Howe Collection of personal stories covering assessment, feelings about birth mothers, infertility and parenting insecure children. An Adoption Diary, Maria James Real life account of an adoption from assessment to matching and parenthood. 26 Make a difference, Adopt

27 The Adoption Experience Families who give Children a Second Chance, Ann Morris A collection of real-life stories through every stage of the adoption process from deciding adoption is the right option to the stories of adoptees brought up by adoptive parents. First Steps in Parenting the Child who Hurts Tiddlers & Toddlers, Caroline Archer An important guide to build understanding of attachment and developmental issues inspires confidence dealing with separation, loss and trauma in early childhood. Twenty Things Adopted children Wish their Adoptive Parents Knew, Steve Eldridge Written by a woman who was adopted herself, the book gives voice to adopted children s unspoken concerns about some complex emotional issues. Make a difference, Adopt 27

28 Adoption Recruitment and Assessment Team, Suffolk County Council, Freepost NAT 18364, Ipswich IP1 2BX Tel: or If you need help to understand this information in another language please call Portuguese Polish Bengali Kurdish Chinese Farsi If you would like this information in another format, including audio or large print, please call EFMS Design & Print. Phone: