I CAN'T THINK OF IT RIGHT NOW

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1 I CAN'T THINK OF IT RIGHT NOW by NICK ZAGONE CHARACTERS CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that I Can't Think of It Right Now is subject to a royalty. It is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America, and of all countries covered by the International Copyright Union (including the Dominion of Canada and the rest of the British Commonwealth), and of all countries covered by the Pan-American Copyright convention and the Universal Copyright Convention, and of all countries with which the United States has reciprocal copyright relations. All rights, including professional and amateur stage performing, motion picture, recitation, lecturing, public reading, radio broadcasting, television, video or sound taping, all other forms of mechanical or electronic reproduction, such as information storage and retrieval systems and photocopying, and the rights of translation into foreign languages, are strictly reserved. Inquiries concerning all rights should be addressed to the author at Copyright 2010 by Nick Zagone

2 I CAN'T THINK OF IT RIGHT NOW 2 [, middle-aged, sits on a living room chair, his face in a laptop., also middle-aged, sits curled up the couch with a good book. It s evening, their son has just been put to bed. There s a baby monitor on a table between them.] [After a beat, Marsha looks up, to John.] It was the cutest thing today, I forgot to tell you. When I picked up Timmy today from Preschool the whole class was finger painting, ya know? Really. Just making a mess. Yeah, I bet. Anyway, when I got there, Timmy had this big blue paint streak down his face. He looked like ya know that movie, I can t think of it right now in Scotland What movie? In Scotland, with the swords Highlander? Uh what s his name He looked like Highlander? No, no, you know-- Highlander?

3 NICK ZAGONE 3 No! not Highlander. The other Scottish movie uh Oh, I know Shrek. No, no No, no, that s not what I meant Shakespeare right? No. Henry 5. Is that Scottish? Come on. Oh I know, I know, I know Yeah, with a Pocahontas. No, with, Mel Gibson! Mel Gibson? That s it. He looked like Mel Gibson? Yeah in the movie with the Scottish movie with the blue face paint! Battling on the, uh, moors

4 I CAN'T THINK OF IT RIGHT NOW 4 Mel Gibson, Mel Gibson, Mel Gibson Don t tell me you don t remember Mel Gibson. No. Ya know, uh, he was the crazy guy in that one and it had all the gunfights Oh yeah, yeah, yeah Ya know Dirty Harry. No, no. Paycheck? Frantic! Frantic, Frantic No, no, you re thinkin the other guy In the Line of Fire? No, no, no That had a crazy guy with gunfights.

5 NICK ZAGONE 5 Wrong crazy guy, the other guy Die Hard! No, not that guy, that guy s from uh Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that s the guy from uh All the Die Hard movies and Signs! Yeah! No! But-- Yeah, yeah, yeah! That s the guy I m talking about. Bruce Willis! No, no, no Mel Gibson! Here, this is ridiculous, I have the Internet right here I ll just imdb Mel Gibson. Ok, good idea. God that was a good movie. Die Hard? No, Signs. Here we go Internet Movie Data Base Look up, Mel Gib that s weird.

6 I CAN'T THINK OF IT RIGHT NOW 6 Hmm. I lost the connection. I m getting no signal. Maybe it s the aliens. Now (stern look) you know I don t like that. Big imagination just kidding. Try your iphone. All right. (reaches into pocket for iphone) So what was the other one I was thinking with Bruce Willis, that was like Signs. I don t know. The one with the kid who can see the ghosts? Oh! I see dead people. Yeah, yeah, I know Ghost. Ghosts, yeah No, I mean that s the title. Ghost. No. No, I know, Evil Dead! No.

7 NICK ZAGONE 7 No, I know, The Haunting! No, no, no I know I know Highlander! Knock it off. I know I was just kidding. But we re thinking about my movie now, not your movie. Anything yet? Once I remember my movie, I ll think about your movie. No nothing. I know which one your talking about I just can t remember the name. The movie I m talking about you don t even know what I m talking about. I don t know what you re talking about. Well that s why we got the iphone, what s wrong with that thing. The Sixth Sense! No! That s-- No, that s the one I was talking about, with the kid who can see ghosts. Oh good, so it s working, now look up my Mel Gibson movie. No it s not working, no signal at all, I just remembered that one with my own brain. Well, what s going on?

8 I CAN'T THINK OF IT RIGHT NOW 8 Whoopi Goldberg. Whoopi Goldberg was in the other one, who can see ghosts Ghost. No ghosts, GhostS. Plural. No that s what it was called, the title, Ghost. Oh. Yeah. That s right. Okay, so, here we are with Mel Gibson with the paint on his face with the Broadsword. Lethal Weapon! No! No, that s the one with the crazy guy and the gunfights. Oh. Yeah. So it s working? No. Well what re we gonna do? Look, you saw this movie with me. I did?

9 NICK ZAGONE 9 Didn t you? I don t think I did because I have no idea what you re talking about. It won the fricken Academy Award! It did? Yes! Battles, blood, he has the speech ya know blah, blah, but they can never take away our dignity! Something like that! Clint Eastwood! He was in Dirty Harry. That s the other guy I was thinking about. Go ahead Forget it. I m going to the computer, the DSL. I gotta find this out or I m getting a divorce. Your brain seems to conveniently remember every movie but the one I need to know. It s highly suspicious if you ask me. (stops) Ah, shoot. [The lights start to fade flicker pulse ] I can t go upstairs. I ll wake up uh... Who? Our child, the boy, uh Oh yeah, upstairs, in bed, yeah, uh what s his name, my son um what s happening to me?

10 I CAN'T THINK OF IT RIGHT NOW 10 Tommy! No, no oh god. Bobby? Nooooo! You know, you know, shoot look it up hurry! I can t! I can see his face but I uh With the blue streak of paint across his uh Oh shit. It s the aliens. Don t. Stop it. No. Oh god I find some uh pictures or a Oh yeah, the thingy on the thing, a what? Something with his name. For god s sake! Check the computer! It doesn t I c I c I can t remember We can um Nothing I was just uh Yeah we can Look up

11 NICK ZAGONE 11 Yeah To find! Yeah! To find the thing that Yeah that thing that we Left Left? That we didn t Find out Um Um Braveheart! [The lights are almost out They hold each other.] [screaming] and [Lights up full. John and Marsha cry with happiness, heavy breathing, laughing and smiling until We hear a crying from the baby monitor, they hold their breath and turn to look at it. Slow out.] BLACKOUT

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