How-to Plan Your Funeral

Transcription

1 Funeral Passare and Funeral Directors Lie Insurance Company ( FDLIC ) How-to Plan Your Funeral ebook #11

2 How-to Plan Your Funeral ebook #11 Planng or the Future I you are like most people, you preer to thk about unerals only when you attend one. Thkg about your mortality may not be easy, yet one o the most thoughtul thgs you can do or your loved ones is to plan ahead or your own uneral. You can t prevent the grie they may experience ater your death, but you can elimate most o the worry that may occur when loved ones must plan a uneral. There is no time like the present to consider this important part o your amily s uture, so why not beg planng today? Just as you are there or your loved ones lie, you can also be there or them death. Planng your uneral is an comparable git only you can give. It is a al act o love or those you care about most. As part o our ebook series, PassareTM shares our recommendations or how to plan your uneral. You Will Learn About: 1. Why Plan Ahead? 2. Questions to Consider 3. Ma Elements o a Funeral 4. Ceremony or Service Options to Consider 5. How-to Personalize Your Funeral 6. Personalization Options 7. How-to Choose Your Fal Restg Place 8. How-to Create Your Funeral Plan 9. How-to Fance Your Funeral Plan The ebook cludes: A. Funeral Planng Checklist B. Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) Estimated Time Required: 30 mutes 1

3 Why Plan Ahead? A uneral service, like a weddg or the birth o a child, is an important lie passage that you typically have only one chance to make as special and personal as possible. A well-planned uneral is a commemoration honorg a lie well lived. The most important reasons to plan your own uneral clude: Family and loved ones - your uneral plan relieves your loved ones rom havg to make complicated decisions at one o the most challengg time their lives. Planng ahead allows you to clude amily your al decisions i you choose. Fancial savgs - your uneral plan reduces emotional overspendg that may occur when loved ones are experiencg grie. A pre-paid plan allows you to reeze uneral service costs at today s prices, and protects your amily rom the risg costs o uneral services and products. Future planng - your uneral plan is transerrable i you move or change providers later. Personal control - planng your uneral allows you to design a service to relect your unique personality, so your loved ones may remember you as you wish. Peace o md - your uneral plan ensures that your wishes are documented and will be carried out upon your death. Take a ew mutes to answer these questions. 1. Who will be aected by your death? 2. What is your budget? Is pre-payment the right choice or you? 3. Do you want to personalize the service? 2

4 Ma Elements o a Funeral A uneral service is about honorg the loved one whose lie has ended, and providg comort and support to those who rema. Each phase o the uneral ritual is an important part o your loved one s journey toward recovery and healg. There are three elements o a uneral experience: Ceremony or Service: A ceremony helps honor the loved one who has died and helps others understand the reality o the death. Includg the appropriate religious or spiritual elements oten oers hope to the grievg amily and helps the search or meang. Procession: A procession to the graveside is a strong symbol o unity, support, and acknowledgement that somethg important has occurred. It helps amilies transition rom the uneral to the graveside together and accept the ality o the loved one s death. Public or Private Gatherg: Ater the graveside or committal service, there is oten an ormal gatherg, sometimes called a wake, where riends and amily contue to share memories, express their condolences, and share comort and support with each other. Ceremony or Service Options to Consider Speciic ceremony or service options to consider clude: Traditional uneral service Graveside or committal service Memorial service Traditional uneral service ollowed by cremation Direct burial Direct cremation Home unerals or home burials Green burials Anatomical git or donation to medical science 3

5 Traditional Funeral Service A uneral is an important End-o-Lie event that should relect the unique personality o the deceased loved one. Funerals give us a time and place to grieve so that we may beg to heal and adjust to lie without our loved one. They allow riends and extended amily to show their love, concern, and support or each other tangible, meangul ways. A traditional uneral service oten begs with the loved one s remas beg carried a casket. Durg the service, amily and riends remember and honor the lie o their loved one special ways. They may say prayers, deliver eulogies, read passages rom scripture or literature or sg songs. Ater the service, the procession takes place and mourners jo together to accompany their deceased loved one s casket to a cemetery or a burial or committal service, or a crematory or cremation. The procession is a symbol o the mourners support or one another and a public honorg o the deceased loved one. A traditional uneral service oten has these characteristics: Held with a ew days o the death Held with the deceased love one present a casket Held a uneral home, religious place o worship, or a chapel at the cemetery Held beore a cremation or burial May corporate a procession to the burial site immediately ollowg the service May clude an open casket visitation o the loved one s remas prior to the uneral service Graveside or Committal Service A graveside or committal service is a uneral service that is held at a gravesite or at a mausoleum a cemetery. Like a traditional service, it provides a al opportunity or mourners to honor and say goodbye to their deceased loved one. A speaker oten leads and concludes the service by sharg al thoughts. 4

6 Characteristics o a graveside service usually clude: Held with a ew days o the death Held at a gravesite, mausoleum, crypt, or columbarium at a cemetery May ollow a traditional uneral, precede a memorial service, or be a unique, separate event May be held beore a burial or terment o cremated remas Memorial Service A memorial service is most commonly held ater burial or cremation. Memorial services may be held several days to up to a year ater the disposition o the deceased loved one. A memorial service is oten held when direct burial or direct cremation is selected place o a uneral. A memorial service usually cludes these elements: The loved one s remas are usually not present Burial or cremation takes place beore a memorial service The service may be held at a uneral chapel, religious place o worship, reception hall, or any location o personal signiicance Traditional Funeral Followed by Cremation This service option cludes all o the elements o a traditional uneral except that cremation is the means o al disposition. An open casket visitation may still be held prior to a uneral, and a procession or a al committal may ollow the service. However, when the services are completed, the deceased loved one s remas are directed to a crematorium versus a grave or burial. The cremated remas are placed an urn (that is provided by the amily) and given to the amily. Cremated remas may be buried, placed a columbarium, kept at home, or scattered at a later time. 5

7 Direct Burial This service option is one o the simplest because there is no ormal uneral or committal service. The loved one is buried shortly ater death, with no viewg or visitation, so embalmg is not necessary. A memorial service may be held later at a gravesite, church, uneral home, or other location chosen by the amily. Direct Cremation With cremation, there is typically no ormal uneral or committal service. With direct cremation, a uneral director may oversee the cremation o your loved one s remas and then return the cremated remas to the amily.! Important Note: Selectg a permanent marker is oten overlooked. I you choose cremation, a permanent marker is still an important part o the healg process or your loved ones. Home Funerals and Home Burials Funerals may also be held at home. Home unerals, sometimes called home burials are creasg requency. For many amilies, this is a more timate, economical, environmentally riendly, and personal way to honor a deceased loved one. A home uneral is oten conducted consultation with a uneral director, and may clude these elements: Preparg and dressg your deceased loved one s remas Wrappg your deceased loved one s remas a shroud Placg your loved one s remas a casket Hostg the service at home Transportg the deceased loved one s remas to the burial site Preparg the burial site and grave Buryg the deceased loved one 6

8 Installg a headstone or grave marker Securg necessary permits Green Burials Green burials are an earth-conscious alternative to cremation and traditional burial practices. Many amilies choose a green burial because it is considered to be the most environmentally sae disposition option. Green or natural burials ensure that the burial site remas as natural as possible all respects. Interment o the deceased love one is done a biodegradable casket, shroud, or a avorite blanket. Until recently, green burials were not an option. Today, green or natural burials help preserve open spaces throughout the US. Choosg a natural burial site or you, amily, or even pets may promote growth o natural shrubs and a return o wildlie to the area. Ater a green burial, loved ones oten choose to plant native trees, shrubs, and lowers a loved one s honor to promote habitat restoration. Green burials are oten less expensive than traditional burial and cremation practices. Anatomical Git or Donation to Medical Science You may arrange to donate your remas to medical centers or to schools or scientiic study. Ater the medical community has completed its study, the deceased loved one is cremated and the remas are returned to the amily. I you choose this option, it is important to plan ahead and put your speciic wishes writg. You may also wish to provide structions or your cremated remas and choose a permanent marker. Take a ew mutes to answer these questions. 1. Where would you like your al services to be held, or example, your place o worship, at a cemetery, or the home o a loved one? 2. Do you want to donate your remas to a hospital or school or medical or scientiic study? 7

9 How-to Personalize Your Funeral No two unerals are alike. You can personalize a uneral with your budget the way that you want yoursel or your loved one to be remembered. Today, there are more ways to personalize uneral services than ever beore. You may now choose creative and personal ways to make your uneral service unique to help your loved ones honor your own lie, or that o a deceased love one.! Important Note: Be sure to communicate your al wishes or your uneral to your loved ones, and/or uneral service provider. Put them writg, your will or example, so that they will be carried out upon your death. Oten, uneral decisions are made beore a will can be located and implemented. Public or Private Viewg Beore the Funeral Service A viewg or visitation is a gatherg o riends or amily beore the uneral service. The viewg occurs with the deceased loved one present. Many grie experts believe that a viewg may help survivg loved ones to acknowledge the reality o the death and that it is an important step the healg process. While it is a personal choice, remember that a viewg may become a signiicant event a mourner s grie recovery process. Incorporatg a Gatherg o Friends and Family Ater Graveside or Committal Services Ater the committal service, there is oten a gatherg o riends and amily to contue to share memories and express their condolences about their deceased loved one. This event becomes a time o gratitude and celebration or a lie well lived. Families may share a meal, watch slideshows, and share personal anecdotes and memorabilia. The amily emerges rom the gatherg with a sense o hopeulness and a knowledge that lie will contue, even ollowg their loved one s death. 8

10 Personal Touches That Honor Your Deceased Loved One Families may choose to clude memorabilia, pictures, art objects, or hobby items at events. Technology-driven elements, such as photo slideshows and videos, as well as avorite music, may also be part o the service. There are many other options that may be added accordg to what you choose or yoursel or your loved one. Personalization helps you and your amily to honor your deceased loved one a special way. Personalization Options Personalization options or your uneral may clude: Music, songs, poems, letters, prayers, or readgs Food served at the gatherg or wake Religious preerences or symbols Speakers, oiciate(s), pallbearers, or attendees Special clothg that mourners wear tribute Flowers or greenery Balloon, dove or butterly release DVDs Slideshows Special location or the tribute Green uneral options Military salute or speciic recognition or veterans Fraternal or lodge rites or association members Donations to speciic charity 9

11 Take a ew mutes to answer these questions. 1. How do you want to personalize the service you choose? 2. In what speciic ways will you want to make the service a relection o your values, your lie or personality, or that o your loved one? 3. Have you put your al wishes or personalizg your uneral writg and communicated its location to a loved one? How-to Choose Your Fal Restg Place For your amily and riends, there is ality puttg their loved one s remas to rest. This event provides closure and gives loved ones a place to return to remember the deceased and search or urther meang. Although burial and cremation are the most common and traditional choices or al disposition o a loved one s remas, there are many other options. I you do not have a speciic choice md or yoursel, try to image where or how loved ones might best express their remembrance and love or you or a deceased loved one. There is a growg trend toward creative and spirg al disposition options: Scatterg or buryg cremated remas at sea Sendg all or part o cremated remas to space Transormg remas to works o art or jewelry Transormg remas to livg rees that support ocean ecosystems Donatg remas to medical science Physical Memorials, Markers and Headstones Whether you choose to be buried, cremated, or select another option, a permanent memorial, marker, or headstone helps give loved ones a place to go and an opportunity to remember their loved one or generations to come. Choose an option that might help loved ones best express their remembrance and love or you or your deceased love one. 10

12 Due to the recent trend o cremation, selectg a permanent marker is sometimes overlooked. I you choose cremation, remember that selectg a permanent marker is still an important part o the healg process or your loved ones. Other options or choosg a physical permanent marker clude: A plaque at the scatterg site An tree planted above a biodegradable urn A memorial garden A memorial und to help others need A virtual memorial the orm o a website How-to Create Your Funeral Plan A uneral plan is a written record o your al wishes or your End-o-Lie event. A uneral plan may clude speciic services and merchandise choices, as well as preerences or personalizg the ceremony. A copy o the uneral plan is usually stored at a uneral home, a sae deposit box, or a home sae. A uneral plan may or may not be paid or advance. Your uneral plan should clearly state the location o important documents such as your will, lie surance policies, birth certiicates, marriage license, military records, and credit obligations. Your plan should also conta important biographical ormation or the obituary notice. In addition, your uneral plan should clude your uneral service preerences as well as clude your preerence or lowers, music, readgs, speakers, attendees, or even the type o casket you d like. There are several ways to create your uneral plan: Write your wishes to your will or a ormal contract State your wishes a voice or video recordg Contact your preerred uneral home or assistance 11

13 Take a ew mutes to answer these questions. 1. Have you made al decisions about your uneral service, cludg burial, cremation and other preerences? 2. Will you create your uneral plan usg a uneral planng guide, contactg a uneral service provider, documentg your choices a will, or statg your preerences a recordg? 3. Which important End-o-Lie documents do you need to clude with your uneral plan? 4. Have you discussed your uneral plan with your loved ones or service provider(s)? How-to Fance Your Funeral Risg costs are part o the world which we live. No matter how uncerta the uture may be, one thg we know or certa is that prices or today s services will crease tomorrow. A pre-planned, pre-paid uneral service is one vestment you can make or your amily s uture. It spares your amily rom a considerable ancial burden durg one o lie s most challengg events. Many amilies are unable to und the cost o a uneral the short amount o time ollowg a death, and uneral services oten will not proceed until al payment is made. Beneits o Pre-Fundg Your Funeral Pre-undg your uneral arrangements can be a smart ancial decision, and provide great peace o md to your loved ones. Payg or your uneral advance allows you to: Evaluate ormation and make ormed decisions ree o emotional stress and pressure Help your amily avoid emotional overspendg at the time o your death Select a comortable payment plan that its your needs and budget 12

14 Secure your uneral plan at today s prices and protect your amily rom risg uneral costs Easily transer your plan i you relocate Determe i you should select a uneral surance plan or a uneral trust Understandg Cash Advance Items There are oten items associated with a uneral that require immediate payment called cash advance items. These items clude out-o-pocket charges that are curred at the time o death rom third-party providers addition to the uneral home. You can spare your amily rom the burden o payg or these out-o-pocket expenses by makg arrangements your pre-paid uneral contract. Some examples o cash advance items clude: Death certiicates Obituary and death notice ees Clergy honorariums Vocalist or musician honorariums Clothg or jewelry Police escort Flowers Gravesite openg and closg Cemetery and crematory charges State or cremation permits Monument or marker Luncheon or reception caterg Outside acility rental Transportation expenses or death away rom home Travel/hotel expenses 13

15 Other Helpul Resources For more ormation and help planng and payg or your uneral or that o a loved one, review these resources: For Social Security Income & Burial Fund ormation: For Special Lump Sum Social Security Death Beneit ormation: For Social Security Survivor s Beneit Fact Sheet: For Medicaid ormation: medicaid/medicaid.html View our Funeral Planng Checklist and Frequently Asked Questions sections this ebook, or go to or more help planng your uneral. Take a ew mutes to answer these questions. 1. What is your uneral budget? 2. Is pre-payment usg a uneral trust or uneral surance the right choice to help pay your uneral costs? Plan Today Like There s No Tomorrow American author Stanley H. Judd once wrote, A good plan is like a road map: it shows the al destations and the best way to get there. We may not know what the uture holds. However, you can make a big dierence your lie and your loved ones lives by planng ahead today. Planng your uneral ensures ancial and emotional comort or both you and your loved ones. You can achieve peace o md knowg that your al wishes will be ollowed and that you have identiied how you want to be remembered, without addg expense or worry or your amily. 14

16 Funeral Planng Checklist To plan your uneral, we suggest you consider this list o actions: Choose the type o service(s), event(s), and other preerences Funeral service, ollowed by burial or cremation Graveside service or a service at the crematory, ollowed by burial or cremation Memorial service ater burial or cremation Home uneral service and/or burial Green or non-traditional uneral service Anatomical git or donation Decide i you would like other uneral events to be held: Viewg or visitation beore my uneral Reception, wake, or gatherg ater my uneral or memorial Observe my religion s mourng event or ceremony Identiy personal options you may want to clude: Funeral or memorial service location choice; clude a second choice 15

17 Person to oiciate at uneral or memorial service; clude second choice Pallbearers, speakers, assistants, and attendees Prayers, poems, or other readgs Songs, hymns, or type o music to be played Physical or virtual memorials, like a marker, headstone, or website tribute Memorial donations to one or more speciic charity organizations Notiications to speciic groups, organizations, or clubs, cludg veterans groups, alumni associations, or sports or hobby clubs Notiications or vitations to speciic people to attend my uneral or memorial service Choose your al restg place options: Burial a preerred cemetery, private property, or other location Scatterg o ashes preerred location, like at sea, on private property, or a memorial garden 16

18 Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) 1. What kds o uneral options exist? You may plan many o the details or your ceremony or service, cludg: Ceremony or service type - traditional uneral, graveside, or committal service, direct burial or cremation, memorial or home uneral services, or non-traditional services like green uneral options. Personalization options - casket, lowers, music, scripture or poetry readg selections, religious symbols, technology options like videos or slideshows, and caterg or gathergs or memorials. Fal restg place options - burial or cremation, or non-traditional options like transormg your remas to art or jewelry. Physical or virtual memorial options - plaques, headstones, memorial unds, or website tributes. Pre-payment options - uneral trusts or uneral surance plans. 2. What does pre-planng a uneral mean? Pre-planng means planng a uneral beore death occurs. Without a uneral plan, the details o your uneral are let to amily members who may have no notice or time to plan this important End-o-Lie event. Pre-planng provides you and your amily with peace o md that options are considered, decisions made and wishes honored. 3. How much do unerals cost? Accordg to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), the average uneral today can exceed $7,000. Funeral costs vary dependg on the region and state where you live, and the type o services, events and products you choose. 17

19 4. What are my payment options? You may choose to pre-und your uneral with uneral surance or a uneral trust to reeze today s prices and protect your amily rom tomorrow s risg uneral costs. Payment plans are available. You may also choose to pre-und your uneral with private resources, like a payable on death account reserved or uneral costs that is not subject to probate. Lie surance beneits are also commonly used to cover uneral costs. It is important to note that unless speciied by a pre-paid uneral contract, uneral costs will not be locked and will rise with lation over time. 5. I I choose to pre-plan and/or pre-pay, what happens i I move? Your pre-planng preerences may be transerred at any time. I you are travelg outside your area when death occurs, your loved ones should contact the uneral service provider you chose immediately; they may help with necessary transer arrangements. I you choose to transer your pre-paid uneral contract to another uneral home, you should contact the surance company or trust manager that issued your policy, annuity, or trust account. I your origal uneral provider guaranteed the cost o the uneral, your new uneral provider is not bound by the guarantee, yet may choose to honor it. I the policy is current and has not lapsed, any amount that has been paid to the account by the policyholder or purchaser will be transerred to the new uneral home. Policy growth will be transerred accordg to the laws o the origatg state. 6. How do I start planng my uneral? Contact a local uneral service provider to discuss your options at and then click on Resources, Service Providers. A uneral planng proessional can assist you by helpg you understand all your options. You may also choose to write your al wishes to 18

20 your will, state your preerences a video or voice recordg, or use a uneral planng guide to plan yoursel. Go to or more help and ormation. 7. What i I change my md about my uneral plan? You may adapt plans to meet your changg needs or wishes anytime. I you use a uneral service provider, remember that uneral homes ocus on service to amilies. They should respect your wishes at all times and strive to meet any special needs and requests rom you and your amily, whether planng ahead or at the time o need. You may adapt plans to meet your changg needs or desires. I you need to cancel a pre-unded plan, note that reundg pre-paid plans depends on the laws your state and the type o pre-paid policy or contract you own. Ask your local uneral director or prearrangement specialist to expla how reunds are handled or your particular pre-need contract. 8. What i I have more questions on other End-o-Lie issues? I you have more questions, go to: or a comprehensive collection o End-o-Lie planng and ormation. 19

21 From birth to death, lie is a series o passages. Passare provides an onle service that connects people to trusted End-o-Lie Management experts and resources. With Passare, you can explore, plan and prepare or End-o-Lie Management, simpliyg the process while honorg ensurg the speciic needs and wishes o you and your amily. Passare gives you control over one o lie s most important passages. Funeral Directors Lie Insurance Company (FDLIC) is a legal-reserve lie surance company that specializes providg prepaid uneral surance products and services. FDLIC s mission is to be known as the best, most respected provider o service the uneral dustry.