FAMILY ASSOCIATION. Daytop Village of New Jersey Inc. Welcome Package. Where Miracles Happen.

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1 FAMILY ASSOCIATION Welcome Package Daytop Village of New Jersey Inc. Where Miracles Happen 1

2 Contents Updated 9/20/13 Page WELCOME TO DAYTOP NEW JERSEY... 3 DAYTOP NEW JERSEY FAMILY ASSOCIATION... 4 Board Members... 4 Parent Groups Chairpersons & Facilitators**... 5 DAYTOP NEW JERSEY STAFF... 6 Daytop Mendham Staff... 6 Daytop Pittsgrove Staff... 7 Clayton Screening... 7 Hunterdon Outreach... 7 Morris Screening Unit / Outpatient... 7 DAYTOP FAMILY PROGRAM GUIDELINES... 8 FAMILY SATURDAY CALENDAR Family Saturday Procedures POLICIES THE DAYTOP PARENTS DO s & DON Ts TREATMENT LEVELS/PHASES THE UNWRITTEN PHILOSOPHIES OF DAYTOP DAYTOP VOCABULARY Residential Needs List Out Of House Request Form FAMILY ASSOCIATION SUPPORT GROUP MEETINGS Morris County Area Ocean County Area Pittsgrove Area Hunterdon County Area SUGGESTED READING LIST THE DAYTOP PHILOSOPHY LA FILOSOFIA DE DAYTOP DAYTOP NEW JERSEY LEADERSHIP TEAM

3 WELCOME TO DAYTOP NEW JERSEY The Daytop Family Association would like to welcome you to our family. Our association is comprised of family members of current and former residents and outpatients of the Daytop therapeutic community. We are part of a larger, worldwide organization of families who came to Daytop in pain, with their lives and their families in crisis. We find that we are not alone. We find help for our children and ourselves, as we come to learn that together, we can become part of the solution. Throughout Daytop s 50+ year history, we have come to understand that addiction is a family problem. When substance abuse treatment addresses all the components of an adolescent s life, the chances for a return to a healthy family life are greatly increased. Thus, it is essential that parents of adolescents in treatment learn how to become part of the recovery process. Family Association offers weekly support groups that are a crucial element of Daytop s program. Chances are you have many questions about how you got in this crisis and what the future will be like. Such as: What did I do wrong? Am I responsible for my child s addiction? How/why did this happen? How could this happen to me/us? What if Daytop can t fix my child? How could he/she do this to me/us? What do I do when my child comes home? Will he/she be cured? What can I do to help keep my other children from abusing drugs or alcohol? Will I be judged as a failed parent? I feel alone and embarrassed. Who should I tell? We help each other in exploring answers to these and many other questions. We listen to each other, share our experiences, and develop bonds and friendships. And in doing so, we learn to look honestly at ourselves as individuals and as families, and grow in health and spirit. We learn how we can be part of the healing process, so we can aid the Daytop staff, as they help our children. We also offer other opportunities for growth, participation, and service. You will hear about our activities each week at our meetings. We urge you to come regularly, get involved, and become an active part of our organization. In doing so, you will find, as many of us have, that you will receive much more than you give, and you will learn, how by living the Daytop Philosophy, you can bring peace and love to your family. With love and concern, Daytop New Jersey Family Association 3

4 DAYTOP NJ FAMILY ASSOCIATION Board Members, Facilitators and Committee Chairs SPECIAL NOTE FOR WELCOME PACKAGE ONLINE In keeping with Family Association privacy policy, names and contact information of board members, committee chairpersons, and other members of parent groups has been removed from the online version of the Welcome Package. Please refer to your printed Welcome Package for contact names and information, or request to a PDF version by at: 4-5

5 DAYTOP NEW JERSEY STAFF Senior Vice President/Executive Director James Curtin (973) Administrative Assistant Terry Carroll Vice President/Clinical Ian Gershman (609) Vice President/CFO Laura Taverna Managing Director Facility Secretary Acting Clinical Director Facility Director Director Family Services Director of Human Resources DAYTOP MENDHAM STAFF (973) Eriach Fox Principal of Daytop Preparatory School Jim Tambini Director of Education Noel Akers Special Education John Cerrato Insurance Billing Ellen Bewalder Director of IT Services Dr. Deborah Pearce Linda Wolk Kathleen Griffin Brenda Strauss Michael Buonauro Medical Department Medical Director/Psychiatrist Physician Dr. Barbara Apt Dr. Patrick Burns Director of Nursing School Psychologist Mary Berry, RN Jim Tambini Clinical Department Clinical Director Associate Clinical Director Counselor Associates Substance Abuse Counselor Jim Tambini Ellen Purtell Nick DeLeeus Jan Kerr Leigh Kamage Rachell Coulther Roman Petrocelli Rebecca Ouelette Reuben Febres Facility Director Behavior Managers Overnight Supervisor Noel Akers David McCracken Cagney Moog Wayne Meiner Kyle Farrell Dara Dwojewski Erin Lazzara Francesca Viola Julia Buccini Richard Anstatt Christina Ioannou Jillian Meszaros Francis Uvenio Steven Nico 6

6 DAYTOP PITTSGROVE STAFF (856) Vice President Ian Gershman Managing/Clinical Director Evelyn Sullivan Facility Director Rob Snyder Director Family Therapy Open Director of Education Vito Paladino Director of Nursing Kathleen Vignola Substance Abuse Counselor Rosalyn Miles Tracie Dzindzio Counselor Associate Jeffrey Brady Jessica Knowles Behavior Manager Jody Milano-Gomez Stephanie Petruzzi Gina Randazzo Matt Stilley Jared Mello Edwin Gomez Overnight Supervisor George Megines Building Construction Supervisor Edward Wentzell Maintenance Worker Charles David Haff CLAYTON SCREENING (856) Admissions Director George Yansick HUNTERDON OUTREACH (908) Managing Director Suzanne Fischer Counselor Associate Sheena Carew MORRIS SCREENING UNIT / OUTPATIENT (973) Managing Director Peggy Waller Office Manager David Brennan Mental Health Screener Andrea Orlando Intake Manager Jennifer Thexton Substance Abuse Counselor Lori Mele Counselor Associate Roman Pertocelli 7

7 DAYTOP FAMILY PROGRAM GUIDELINES Family involvement in the treatment of an adolescent is essential. Over its long history of treating adolescents, Daytop has learned that the chances of success are greatly increased if the adolescent s family works hand-in-hand with Daytop. Therefore, we have made Family Participation A Required Part Of The Treatment Process. To facilitate this participation we have set aside certain Saturdays, as Family Days. The Family Day schedule includes an afternoon Family Association Meeting at 1:00p.m. An individual family session may also be scheduled either before or after the FA meeting. Lack of family involvement will mean that the family will not be invited to any part of Family Day and may result in the discharge of an adolescent from the Daytop program. Families are asked to observe the following guidelines on Family Day: 1. Only those family members who have participated in the intake process are invited on Family Days. ANY OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS OR FRIENDS MUST BE CLEARED BY THE PRIMARY COUNSELOR BEFORE COMING. 2. Daytop is an alcohol and drug free environment. Anyone with either alcohol or drugs on or in his/her possession will be asked to leave. 3. Daytop is a smoke free environment. By order of the New Jersey Department of Health, no one is permitted to use tobacco products in the facility or on the property. Please abide by this. DO NOT GIVE YOUR RESIDENT ANY NICOTINE PRODUCTS! 4. No firearms or weapons of any sort are allowed. 5. Do not bring any clothes, and/or gifts unless it is cleared by the counselor. Anything brought into the facility that has not been cleared will be sent home. 6. Family members who do not stay for the Family Association Meeting (1:30-2:15 p.m.) will not be invited back. Family Day is more than an occasion for a visit. 7. No Pets. Daytop cannot risk the liability of outside pets brought onto the property. Please mark the following Saturdays on your calendar for the year. 8

8 FAMILY SATURDAY CALENDAR 2013 Family involvement in the treatment of an adolescent is essential. Over its long history of treating adolescents, Daytop has learned that the chances of success are greatly increased if the adolescent s family works hand-in-hand with Daytop. Therefore, we have made family participation a required part of the treatment process. To facilitate this participation we have set aside certain Saturdays as Family Days. Family Days consist of a Family Association Meeting from 1:00 PM to 2:30 PM and may also consist of an individual family session, which can be either before or after the Family Association Meeting. Both the individual family session and the Family Association Meeting are required. Families are asked to observe the following guidelines on Family Day: 1. Only those family members who are cleared by the primary counselor are invited on Family Day. Any additional family members that would like to attend must be cleared by the primary counselor. 2. Daytop is an alcohol and drug free environment. Anyone with either alcohol or drugs on or in his/her possession will be asked to leave. 3. Daytop is a smoke-free environment. By order of the New Jersey Department of Health no one is permitted to use tobacco products in the facility or on the property. Please do not provide your children with any nicotine products. Failure to abide by this will result in jeopardizing your son or daughter s treatment. 4. No firearms or weapons of any sort are allowed. 5. Do not bring any clothes or gifts unless it is cleared by the primary counselor. Anything brought into the facility which has not been cleared will be sent home. Please mark the following Saturdays on your calendar for 2013 Mendham January 5 February 2 February 23 March 9 April 6 April 27 May 18 June 1, 2013 June 22 (Graduation) July 13 August 3 August 24 September 14 October 15 October 26 November 9 December 7 December 21 (Holiday Party) Pittsgrove January 5 January 26 February 16 March 9 March 30 April 20 May 11 June 1 July 13 August 3 August 26 (Monday) Pot Luck September 21 October 26 November 16 December 14 (Holiday Party) 9

9 DAYTOP NJ Family Saturday Procedures Here is a list of Family Day procedures that have been established by Daytop. 1. Hours: 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. in Mendham 10:00 AM to 5:00 PM. in Pittsgrove Saturday Schedule: 11:30 Lunch 1:00pm* - General Family (attendance mandatory) 2:15pm - Afternoon Support Group and orientation group(if you have not been to a support group that week) *Mendham only 2. All visitors must sign in when they arrive. Upon arrival, any items you have for your resident must be checked in with the front desk to be screened. This will ensure that items match an approved Needs List. It will also control what is entering into the facility and ensure the safety of all of our residents. 3. Vehicle description and/or license plate numbers are required for security reasons. 4. After sign-in, proceed to the front desk; identify yourself and the resident you are visiting. He/she will be notified of your arrival. 5. All families are asked to bring food and beverages to be shared at lunch. The food must be precooked. The kitchen staff can reheat the food. It is very important that we have enough food on Family Saturday for all present. Please bring enough food and beverage for the number of people in your family, plus 10 other people. In this way, staff and residents, who are not receiving visitors, will also be covered for lunch. Please do not bring food and/or beverages, if they are not intended to be shared with everyone. Bringing special food for your child is a good example of how not to follow rules. Our residents don t need that behavior reinforced. Lead by example. 6. Individual family sessions are pre-arranged by the designated family counselor. If you have any questions, feel free to ask any staff member. 7. Buffet lunch is available beginning at 11:30 am outside the dining room. The dining room tables, as well as, the picnic tables outside (weather permit) are available for your use. You may also wish to bring your own lawn chairs and /or blankets to dine outside on the grounds. Daytop provides utensils, plates and paper products. 8. At 1:00p.m. there is a MANDATORY FA meeting in the all purpose room.. All announcements of pertinent information and future events will be discussed. It is imperative that all parents attend. Once again, follow the rules and lead by example. 9. Do not bring pets. 10

10 POLICIES Interactions with Residents/Members 1. It is imperative that you attend all Family Association meetings and functions. We encourage and welcome all members of the immediate family to get involved and participate. 2. It is important and necessary that you and your resident/member strictly adhere to the policies of Daytop at home, and at all family/social gatherings. 3. Any activities of a resident/member in treatment must be cleared and approved by there Primary Counselor. 4. Communication between you and staff is essential. Ask questions, express your concerns, and verify information given to you by your resident/member that may seem questionable. 5. When trust comes for free, its value becomes diminished. Let your resident/member earn your trust. 6. Be a positive role model. If you behave irresponsibly, you will be sending negative messages to your resident/member. This especially applies to the use of alcohol and other chemical substances. 7. Try not to lecture or debate with your resident/member. Please address behavioral issues with primary/family counselor. Verbal abuse is not constructive. 8. The cardinal rule of no physical violence is taught to your resident/member. This must be respected and supported by all family members! 9. The law mandates strict smoking policies. We ask you to conform to them. NO SMOKING IS ALLOWED ANYWHERE ON THE DAYTOP PROPERTY. YOUR COOPERATION IS ESSENTIAL. 11

11 THE DAYTOP PARENTS DO s & DON Ts The Do s 1. DO attend all Family Association meetings, functions and weekly support groups and become an active member in your group. This greatly increases the success rate in treatment for your resident. 2. DO maintain honesty with staff, other parents and yourself. 3. DO trust your gut feeling and what your brain tells you beware of your heart. 4. DO be in contact with other Family Association members for guidance or just to say Hello. We are all here to help one another. 5. DO keep in regular contact with the primary counselor concerning your resident s progress in treatment. Communicate needs and concerns to staff members. 6. DO call staff in the event of bad news. Staff will communicate this information to the resident. 7. DO contact staff if at any time you have negative feelings or uneasiness about your adolescent s actions or attitudes. Don t be afraid to rock their boat. 8. DO feel free to check all clothing: pockets, linings, etc. for paraphernalia. 9. DO feel free to search your adolescent s room. (You are not violating that illusionary trusting relationship.) 10. DO advise staff of any legal difficulties your adolescent is involved in. 11. DO remove all liquor, beer, and wine from your home. We lead by example. 12. DO bring food for 10 or more people when you come for Family Saturday, sharing what you bring with all the families for a buffet style lunch. 13. DO acknowledge and encourage efforts of your adolescent through conversations. 14. DO be willing to make changes in yourself. 15. DO be on the same page with your spouse, significant other and Daytop staff to avoid mixed messages to your adolescent in treatment. 16. DO call staff and let them know if your adolescent, while at home, has done something wrong or you feel he/she has done something that affects treatment in a positive or negative manner. If you re not sure, call another group member or staff and ask. 17. DO read and study Request Guidelines when your resident comes home for a visit. Be sure you re comfortable with all that s requested you can say no, This IS a REQUEST. 12

12 The Don ts 18. DON T permit your adolescent to use any substance including cigarettes and/or alcohol. 19. DON T ever enter a Daytop facility with alcohol in you or on you. 20. DON T drink at all while your adolescent is at home. We recommend you remove all alcohol from your home (for further info or explanation talk to staff or Family Assoc. officers) 21. DON T take unauthorized drugs, including marijuana. If you do, please talk to us! 22. DON T gamble with or in front of your adolescent. 23. DON T use physical or verbal violence on or in front of your adolescent at any time. 24. DON T bring other guests to the facility without receiving there counselors permission. 25. DON T allow your resident to drive any motor vehicle unless the primary counselor approves first. 26. DON T probe your resident for clinical information. It is his/her responsibility to relate to you. 27. DON T gossip or bad rap. If you have a complaint, address it to the managing team. 28. DON T cover-up or protect your adolescent or yourself when either breaks a rule. Honesty is the basic tenet of Daytop s concept. To compound a lie defeats the whole purpose of treatment. 29. DON T trust your adolescent until he/she earns it. 30. DON T give medicine to resident without medical staff s knowledge and approval. 31. DON T purchase clothing or other items prior to having them approved. 32. DON T take anything out of your support group. ANYTHING SAID IN A GROUP MUST BE HELD IN THE STRICTEST CONFIDENCE. A group must trust each other to be effective; betrayal of confidence is gossip of the worst sort. 33. DON T offer any Daytop staff gifts or gratuities of any kind. It is not expected or encouraged. Charitable contributions can be made to Daytop at anytime, if so inclined. 34. DON T be disappointed if you call staff and don t get a return call. Keep trying until you connect with a staff member. Have patience and understanding. 35. DON T smoke in Daytop facilities. We advise not bringing cigarettes on Daytop property. 36. DON T sacrifice any form of treatment for the sake of schooling. Approved schooling is given at Daytop; outside schooling is secondary and will come after treatment. 13

13 TREATMENT LEVELS/PHASES Daytop treatment is based on phases. The client is evaluated on the criteria of each phase and progresses through treatment upon the successful completion of all phases. The time spent in each phase is determined on an individual basis, as well as, the effectiveness of the treatment plan. As a client advances through these stages, he/she is evaluated by many criteria including: accepting responsibility for personal behavior, participation in program, being able to communicate with peers and staff, accepting directions from those with greater responsibilities, positive peer relationships, reestablishing family relations through day and weekend visits, decision-making skills, and abilities to do job responsibilities within the therapeutic community. Throughout the treatment process, communication/feedback between the guardian and the treatment team is essential to evaluate the aforementioned criteria. This communication will take place through regularly scheduled family counseling and phone contact with your primary counselor. Urine drug screening is an integral part of the program and it is done throughout all phases. THE UNWRITTEN PHILOSOPHIES OF DAYTOP Honesty Act as if What goes around, comes around Trust your environment It is better to understand than be understood You can t keep it, unless you give it away There is no free lunch Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it To be aware is to be alive Compensation is valid Forgiveness Better to give than to receive Personal growth before vested status Responsible love and concern 14

14 DAYTOP VOCABULARY ACTS AS IF: This is not easy, but if you act as if it s really happening, before you know it, it does happen. BELLY: An individual s true, deep down feelings. BLOCK OUT: To forget or misplace something because of lack of attention. COMING OUT SIDEWAYS: Using a misdirected outlet for your feelings. CONTRACT: An arrangement for two or more people, if you don t tell on me, I won t tell on you or better yet, you be nice to me and I ll be nice to you. COP TO: Confess or admit to something. POT SINK (HOBART): Due to irresponsible behavior, a person is placed on dishwashing duty and fired from a job of responsibility. DROPPING A SLIP: Putting in a request to be in a group with someone you want to confront or vent your feelings on in an effort to resolve an issue. EXTRA-CURRICULAR: Performing menial jobs as part of a learning experience for irresponsible behavior. FALL: Reverting back to using drugs and/or the negative attitudes and behaviors. FLAGGING: Someone sending out signals for help. HAIRCUT: A verbal reprimand and/or addressing irresponsible behavior and pointing out alternative methods of handling situations or issues. LEAKING: When you take out your negative feelings on another person, you re leaking. This usually happens when one is not dealing with their feelings properly and becomes overwhelmed. LEARNING EXPERIENCE: Any physical or emotional tool used to correct a person s negative behavior or attitude. LUG: Sideways or sarcastic comment. NEGATIVE AND POSITIVE: The wrong and right thing to do. POT SINK: Due to irresponsible behavior, a person is placed on pot scrubbing duty. PULL UP: Pointing out irresponsible behavior and demanding change. RAT PACK: Ganging up on someone. RUNING WIRES: Individuals outside of Daytop are getting messages to residential clients SENT: When a person is sent to the dishpan or any other menial labor it is part of the learning experience. This allows the person time to think about what is happening in their life at the time. SHOT DOWN: Demoted from a job to a lesser one for not doing the job right or letting the job go to your head, or not showing the proper concern, etc. SPLIT: To leave the program before completion against program advice. 15

15 SPARE PARTS: A learning experience indicating very serious behavior or attitude problems menial work. STUFFING: Loafing on the job or pushing your true feelings down. TIGHT HOUSE: To tighten up the house when things are getting too loose and discipline is sagging; residents loose all privileges. Duration: 2-4 weeks. TIP: A clique, sometimes negative. W.A.M.: Walking Around Money given to residents as a minor reward for appropriate behaviors in the facility and in their job. PROSPECT CHAIR: When a resident is ready to leave the program against the advice of staff/family/probation. They sit there with one foot in and the other out, thinking about what they should do and what the consequences of their actions will be. It can also be used by staff for possible administrative or therapeutic discharge of the client. 16

16 DAYTOP NEW JERSEY Residential Needs List Name: Entry Date: Job Function: Last Incident Date: Description: Things I Need: 1) 2) 3) 4) 5) 6) 8) 9) 10) Personal Needs Things I Have: 1) 2) 3) 4) 5) 7) 8) 9) 10) Why do You Need These Things: Counselor: Approval: Yes or No Date Comments: 17

17 DAYTOP NEW JERSEY Out Of House Request Form Name: Entry Date: Job Function Last Incident Date Description: Last Request Date: Last Request: Request Date: Current Request: Out Of House Agenda Day/Time Leaving: Day/Time Returning: Sleep Where? Phone: Escort: Escort Phone: Plans Discussed With Family? Was Probation Notified? Was Escort s Family Notified? Money Plans: Teacher: Family Counselor Primary Counselor Approval: Approval: Approval: Comments: Primary Counselor Only! Parents/Guardians Attending Family Association Meetings Regularly: YES / NO Behavioral Staff Member Over Team: Approval: Approval: Kitchen Team Members Must Have Signed! Pre-request Group Comments: Page 1 of 3 18

18 Post-request Group Comments: Accountabil ity: Coordinator Comments: Department Head Comments: Page 2 of 3 19

19 Goals Of The Request: Who Are You Dropping Your Responsibilities On? Personal Needs List: Things I Need 1) 2) 3) 4) 5) 6) 7) 8) 9) 10) Things I Have 1) 2) 3) 4) 5) 6) 7) 8) 9) 10) Counselor Comments: Why Do You Need These Things? Parents/Guardians Signature(s) Comments Page 3 of 3 20

20 FAMILY ASSOCIATION SUPPORT GROUP MEETINGS MORRIS COUNTY AREA Location: Held at Daytop residential facility, 80 West Main Street, Mendham, New Jersey Telephone: (973) Meets Mondays 6:45pm 8:30pm Note: This is not visitation time with your child. Do not seek out your child. Residents have been known to manipulate their parents. You should be attending these meetings for yourself, not for your child (attend meetings and you will understand, why). If you accidentally see your child (strangely, sometimes, residents can be found just outside the meeting door when the meeting breaks-up) say only hello and then immediately continue on your way. It will send a very powerful message to your child that you are taking care of yourself and that they are no longer the center of the universe. Directions to the Mendham Facility: From Northern NJ, Southern NJ, and Eastern NJ: Take Route 287 to Morristown Madison Ave. exit #35. There are three Morristown exits. Going South on Rt. 287 it is the third exit. Going North, it is the first exit. Exit ramp towards Morristown. Madison Ave. turns into South Street. Take this a couple miles to the Morristown Green. This is a square park. Go three-quarters around the square. Turn right on to Route 510 (also known as old Rt. 24). There should be a Mendham direction sign on the corner. Route 510 turns into Old Mendham Rd. Take this road for about 7.5 miles. This will take you though the center of Mendham. You will pass the Kings Supermarket shopping center and then the Black Horse Inn restaurant. Go one half mile past the Black Horse Inn. There will be a slight bend in the road. At the bend turn left into the Daytop Driveway. Enter the side door by the gymnasium. The meeting starts in the gymnasium. From Western NJ: Take Route 206 to Chester. At traffic light take Route 24 East. Go approximately 4.5 miles. When you reach the Ralston area you will be coming close to the Daytop driveway. The road bends and at the bend is the Daytop driveway. Look for Daytop sign at entrance. Enter the side door by the gymnasium. The meeting starts in the gymnasium. 21

21 OCEAN COUNTY AREA Location: Preferred Behavioral Health Training Center 725 Airport Road - Unit B1 Lakewood, NJ Telephone: (973) (Morris Plains Outreach Office) Meets Thursday 7:00pm-8:30pm From the Garden State Parkway take Exit 89 toward County Road 526/Brick/Lakewood about.7 of a mile. Turn left at Airport Road. 725 Airport Road will be.5 miles on the right. PITTSGROVE AREA Location: Held at Daytop Pittsgrove residential facility, 9 Harding Highway, Pittsgrove, NJ Telephone: (856) Meets Mondays from 7:00pm to 8:30pm** Note: ** Parents are allowed to spend 15 minutes before group with their child. Groups do start at 7:00pm. Please follow this time frame so everything can be kept on schedule. Directions to the Pittsgrove Facility: From the North: I- 295 South, at the split (Pilly I-676 and Delaware Memorial Bridge I-295) stay to the right and continue on I-295. Merge onto Rt. 42 toward Atlantic City for approx 1 mile. Take exit for Rt. 55 south for approx 20 miles to exit 39B (Elmer Exit), go through traffic light, past WaWa and Daytop is located on the left. From the Shore Points: Take the Atlantic City Expressway toward Philadelphia, Atlantic City expressway turns into Rt. 42. Take the exit for Rt. 55 South and follow the directions from above, starting from Rt. 55 South. 22

22 HUNTERDON COUNTY AREA Location: Held at Daytop Hunterdon Outreach, Route 31 County Complex, 6 Gauntt Place, Building #2 basement level, Flemington, NJ Telephone: (908) Meets Tuesdays from 7:00pm to 8:30pm From Route 31 North make left turn one block past traffic light for Wescott Drive unto Gauntt Place.. From Rt 31 South make right turn one block past traffic light for Sand Hill Road unto Gauntt Place. After turning unto Gauntt Place, make first right turn and go to back of building and it will be second building on the left. The building is marked with the number 2 on it. This is the Daytop Outreach. New York City Area Daytop Rockland Outreach Daytop Staten Island Outreach 620 Route Forest Avenue Blauvelt, New York Staten Island, New York Wednesday 7pm-9pm Monday 8pm to 10 pm Websites for 12 step meetings for parents FAMILIES ANONYMOUS Familiesanonymous.org Telephone # ALANON & ALATEEN Al-anon.alateen.org Telephone # (Virginia Headquarters)

23 SUGGESTED READING LIST Addiction and Substance Abuse You Can t Do It Alone, by Monsignor William O Brien* No Mommies At Millbrook, by Marcia Ann Hain* Today A Better Way, by Families Anonymous* The Road Less Traveled, by M. Scott Peck Co-dependent No More, by Melody Beattie Parenting for Prevention, by David Wilmes** Choices and Consequences, by Dick Schaefer Addictive Thinking, by Abraham Twerski Reviving Ophelia, by Mary Pipher It Will Never Happen To Me, by Claudia Black The Other Son by Eva Pappas, PH.D* *Available from Daytop NJ Family Association **Coupon for free copy available from Family Association Of Interest The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, by Don Miguel Ruiz Don t Sweat the Small Stuff and it s all small stuff, by Richard Carlson Who Moved My Cheese, by Spencer Johnson 24

24 THE DAYTOP PHILOSOPHY I AM HERE BECAUSE THERE IS NO REFUGE FINALLY FROM MYSELF UNTIL I CONFRONT MYSELF IN THE EYES AND HEARTS OF OTHERS I AM RUNNING UNTIL I SUFFER THEM TO SHARE MY SECRETS I HAVE NO SAFETY FROM THEM AFRAID TO BE KNOWN I CAN KNOW NEITHER MYSELF NOR ANY OTHER I WILL BE ALONE WHERE ELSE BUT IN OUR COMMON GROUND CAN I FIND SUCH A MIRROR? HERE TOGETHER, I CAN AT LAST APPEAR CLEARLY TO MYSELF NOT AS THE GIANT OF MY DREAMS NOR THE DWARF OF MY FEARS BUT AS A PERSON, PART OF A WHOLE WITH MY SHARE IN ITS PURPOSE IN THIS GROUND I CAN TAKE ROOT AND GROW NOT ALONE ANYMORE AS IN DEATH BUT ALIVE TO MYSELF AND TO OTHERS 25

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