Emotional Intelligence: Managing Emotions in the Workplace

Transcription

1 Emotional Intelligence: Managing Emotions in the Workplace Presented by: Sally Ryan, DVM Medical Director, Affiliated Emergency Veterinary Service October 25, 2014 Resource: Presentations based on book and online assessment; Emotional Intelligence 2.0 ( 2009) Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves, TalentSmart Objectives: What is EQ? Why Develop your EQ? How Do you develop your EQ? Emotional Intelligence ( EQ) Definition: Ability to understand and recognize emotions in yourself and others, and your ability to use this awareness to manage your behavior and relationships. EQ History: Assumption- High IQ ( cognitive ability or your ability to learn) and/or or certain personalities traits (style, preference) were the primary factors affecting personal and professional success. Discovery (Early 2000), People with Highest IQ outperform those with an average IQ in 20% of the time, people with average IQ's outperform those with high IQs 70% of the time.???? Scientists determined that there must be another variable affecting success; they determined that EQ was the critical factor. Authors studied emotions of 500k people and determined that most people ( About 2/3) do not understand and manage emotions effectively. Leadership Experts on EQ: Steven Covey, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People; Research shows convincingly that EQ is more important than IQ in almost every role and many more times important in leadership roles. Ken Blanchard, The One Minute Manager; Emotional Intelligence is an extremely important skill to have for personal and professional success. 1

2 Patrick Lencioni, The Five Dysfunctions on a Team; Not education. Not experience, Not knowledge or intellectual horsepower. None of these serve as an adequate predictor of why one person succeeds and another doesn't...the answer almost always has to do with the concept called emotional intelligence. Impact of EQ ( per authors) Your EQ is the foundation for a host of critical skills ( eg- empathy, customer service, flexibility, anger management, stress tolerance, communication, social skills, trust, accountability, assertiveness, change tolerance etc.), it impacts everything you do and say each day EQ accounts for 58% of performance is all types of jobs; its the single biggest predictor of performance in the workplace and the strongest driver of leadership and personal excellence 90% of all high performers also have a high EQ ; high EQ and high performance go hand in hand People with high EQ make more money, an average of 29K more per year compared to workers with low EQ Stats regarding EQ reflect people in all types of industries, at all levels and in all regions of the world Anatomy and Physiology of EQ: We experience things emotionally ( in the limbic center) before we experience things rationally ( in the frontal cortex) of our brain Your frontal cortex cannot stop your limbic system from experiencing an emotion, but the two areas stay in constant communication and influence each other. The communication between the rational and emotional brain is the physical source of EQ. EQ, IQ and Personality: EQ ( emotional intelligence) : is your ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others, and your ability to use this awareness to manage your behavior and relationships; flexible skill that can be learned. IQ ( cognitive intelligence): is your ability to learn; not flexible; is generally fixed from birth 2

3 Personality (style): is the result of your preferences ( eg- introversion or extroversion); is generally stable overtime Key Points: Our IQ, EQ and personality are distinct qualities we possess, when assessed together, they give us a picture of the whole person, they determine how we think and act EQ is the only quality that is flexible There is NO connection between IQ or Personality and EQ Emotions, Core Feelings: We have emotional reactions to almost everything that happens in our lives whether we notice them or not All emotions ( feelings) are a derivation of five core feelings; happiness, sadness, anger, fear and shame We use different words to describe the intensity of the five core emotions ( see table) Example: Core Emotion=Angry Low level=annoyed, touchy, irritated Medium level=upset, mad, frustrated High Level= furious, outraged, irate Triggers and Emotional Highjacking: Emotional highjacking occurs when emotions control behavior and one reacts without thinking. The more intense emotions, the more likely that emotional highjacking will occur A trigger event occurs when something generates a prolonged emotional reaction in you ( involves your experience in similar situations) Our first reaction to an event is always emotional, we cannot control this step We can control our thoughts following an emotion, and we can control our reactions to an emotion, as long as we are aware of it 3

4 EQ Skills: Personal competence Includes self awareness and self management skills The focus is you individually Involves your ability to be aware of your emotions and manage your behavior and tendencies Social competence Includes social awareness and relationship management skills Involves your ability to understand and respond to other peoples moods, behaviors, motives in order to enhance your relationships Self Awareness: Involves your ability to perceive your own emotions; understand your tendencies and typical reactions to events, challenges, people Requires processing your emotions (where they come from and why they are there) Remember- Emotions always serve a purpose Involves your clear understanding of "what makes you tick" ( what you do well/don't do well, what you like/dislike, what motivates and satisfies you, what and who pushes your button etc.) Self awareness is a foundational skills and makes other skills easier to use; as SA increases, people's satisfaction ( ability to reach goals at work and home) in life increase ; 83% of people with high SA are top performers (Example) Self Management: Is the ability to use your awareness of your emotions so that your respond effectively toward people and situations May involve refraining from certain responses or introducing more productive responses ( choose what you say or do) (Example) Social Awareness: Ability to accurately pick up emotions in other people and understand what is really going on with them. Often involves perceiving what other people are thinking and feeling even if you do not feel the same way (empathy) Involves listening and observing others. 4

5 Relationship Management: Is your ability to use your awareness of your own emotions and those of others to manage interactions/relationships successfully Often requires the use of the other three skills Involves building relationships ( by communicating clearly, managing conflict, building trust, spending time together etc.) As the strength of your relationships increase, so does your influence ( leadership ability) (Example) EQ Strategies, Key Points As you practice EQ skills, your brain forms more connections between the emotional and rational centers of your brain ( neuroplasticity). Over time, skills becomes easier and more automatic. You can "train your brain" to develop new habits Authors developed an online program to assess skills, practice new skills and measure progress. EQ Strategies, Self Awareness: Quit treating your feelings as good or bad Observe the ripple effect from your emotions Lean into you discomfort Feel your emotions physically Know who and what pushes your buttons Watch yourself like a hawk Keep a journal about your emotions Don't be fooled by a bad mood Stop and ask yourself why you do the things that you do Visit your values Check yourself Spot your emotions in books, movies and music Seek feedback Get to know yourself under stress 5

6 EQ Strategies, Self Management: Breathe right Create an emotion vs. reason list Make your goals public Count to ten Sleep on it Talk to a skilled self manager Smile and laugh more Set aside time in your day to problem solve Take control of your self-talk Visualize yourself succeeding Clean up your sleep hygiene Focus your attention on your freedoms, rather than your limitations Stay synchronized Speak to someone who is not emotionally invested in your problem Learn a valuable lesson from everyone you encounter Put a mental recharge into your schedule Accept that change is just around the corner EQ Strategies, Social Awareness: Greet people by name Watch body language Make timing everything Develop a back-pocket question Don't take notes at meetings Plan ahead for social gatherings Clear away the clutter Live in the moment Go on a 15 minute tour Watch EQ at the movies Practice the art of listening Go people watching Understand the rules of the culture game Test for accuracy Step into their shoes Seek the whole picture Catch the mood of the room 6

7 EQ strategies, Relationship management: Be open and be curious Enhance your natural communication style Avoid giving mixed signals Remember the little things that pack a punch Take feedback well Build trust Have an open door policy Only get mad on purpose Don't avoid the inevitable Acknowledge the other persons feelings Complement the other person's emotions or situation When you care, show it Explain your decisions, don't just make them Make your feedback direct and constructive Align your intention with your impact Offer a fix it statement with a broken conversation Tackle a tough conversation Summary: EQ involves identifying, understanding and managing emotions in your self and with others. EQ skills include: Self awareness, self- management, social awareness and relationship management. High EQ is associated with high personal and professional success. EQ skills can be learned and improved! 7

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