DOROTHY. LION AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEY! Did you see that? A flying dog almost killed me! I barely survived!
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1 From Oz Characters Dorothy (Kelly) : Girl who has accidentally landed in Oz and searches for her way back home Cowardly Lion (Joanne) : The Lion who is scared of everything; agrees to join Dorothy for courage (In the beginning of the scene, the lion is standing on the center of the stage. Dorothy comes from a side of a stage, and when she spots him, she hurls her dog, Toto, at him, screaming.) AH!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEY! Did you see that? A flying dog almost killed me! I barely survived! So...you re a lion. And a coward one too. Waitttttttt... How do you know my name? What have they told you about me? Who told you? (He begins to look around) You ve been following me, haven t you? No I haven t. I just...you just...seems like it, that s all. FBI? After me? Oh my god I m having a panic attack. First the dog and now this. (Starts hyperventilating) Relax, all right? Don t come any closer! Aaaaaaaaaah! I m very fierce! (He tries a karate kid crane kick, then runs and hides.) Leave me alone. I don t have a wallet because I m a lion but if you let me live I ll tell you where I hide my gold! I don t want your gold!
2 You ll never take me alive! (He runs to another part of the stage.) Hey shut up and listen! (The lion stops, freaked out.) My name is Dorothy. I m trapped here. And you re hungry. You re going to eat me. I m NOT going to EAT you! Please don t yell! I can t stand it when you yell! I want to go back to Kansas so I m trying to find the Wizard of Oz. But some little munchkin loser told me that they sold the yellow brick road to Chinese Investors, so I guess I m really lost. I m really afraid of Chinese Investors. They just loooovveee buying our land. I m sure you do. But do you happen to know how to find the Wizard? I have a feeling I m not going to get out of this until I find him. He s a terrifying man. He d as soon kill you as look at you. Why I ve heard stories that he breathes fire and- I m sure he doesn t, all right? I bet he s just a guy with some balloons and scares people. I m sure that s a terrifying balloon, then. Do you know how to find him?
3 Well...without the yellow brick road, we ll have to go through that field of deadly flowers over there. And from there, into the deadly forest, and from the deadly forest, over the deadly gentle hill. We ll never make it. I m gonna stay right here. You know, if you see the Wizard, he might be able to give you some courage. You d like that, wouldn t you? So you can KILL ME! I m not trying to kill you! That s EXACTLY what someone who was trying to me would say! AHHH! I m freaking out! (He starts hyperventilating again) What s that blue thing over my head? The sky? It s trying to kill me too! (He dives under something) What s this?! Oh no! (Dorothy grabs him by the ear) CHILL. OUT. Okay. But I m not going to like it. You can t be afraid of everything. Hey. Hey. Eyes up here. Most of the time, there s nothing to be scared of. Most of the time? Yeah. Most of the time.
4 What about the rest of the time? There are times you do actually need to be afraid. OH MY GOD! Stop it. You can stay here if you want, of course, you will be staying all alone. All alone? I m sure it won t be a problem for you. It s not like the trees are going to come to life and eat you or anything. Now that you mention it, these trees do look a little sinister. And it s not like the grass can kill you. I mean, I ve only seen it do that to two or three lions before. The grass can kill me? If you tick it off. The grass can grow teeth and saw off your feet. How do I tick if off? I don t know. But I wouldn t worry about it. Bye. (She retrieves Toto.) Don t want to forget my dog. Wait, wait, WAIT! How about I go with you to see the wizard?
5 Okay. Come on. (Dorothy starts to follow) Don t follow me! It freaks me out! What am I suppose to do then? Walk in front of me so I know where you re going. But then I don t know where I m going. We re even then. Go forward and for god s sake, watch out for those flowers!
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