SCORED WRITING SAMPLES: BENCHMARK 1

Transcription

1 SCORED WRITING SAMPLES: BENCHMARK 1 BENCHMARK 1 To meet the standards in the school year, a benchmark 1 student must produce one writing work sample in any of three modes of writing (i.e., narrative, expository or imaginative). Trait must be scores 3 or higher in ideas and content, organization and conventions. Work Sample 1: Almost Meets the Standard Legoland (expository) This sample does not yet meet the standard since the essay received scores of 2 in organization and conventions. The accompanying score sheet provides more detail about how the paper was scored. Work Sample 2: Meets Standard OMSI Trip (expository) This sample meets the standard. The essay received scores of 3 or higher in the required traits. The accompanying score sheet provides more detail about how the paper was scored. 1

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3 SCORE SHEET BENCHMARK 1 CLASSROOM ASSIGNMENT: Expository Paper Title: Legoland Must score 3 or higher in the three traits below to meet the standard. Ideas and Content Organization Conventions The bold, italic passages are taken from the official writing scoring guide. Ideas and Content: The paper scores a low 3 in ideas and content. The reader can understand main ideas. Some ideas have adequate supporting detail, and other ideas seem to be either underdeveloped or offtopic (i.e., In Legoland they have lase of colors like red blue yellow wiet grean black and many other colors in Lego land. It smels fresh. ). Organization: The paper scores a 2 in organization. There are some attempts at sequencing, but the order or the relationship among ideas is frequently unclear. The first part of the paper is stronger than the last part. The paper begins with a minimal, but recognizable introduction followed by a main idea, supporting details and transitions between ideas or sentences; however, the last part of the paper includes no transitions and details that seem to be randomly placed. There is no ending. The paper lacks an effective organizational structure. Conventions: The paper scores a 2 in conventions. The writing demonstrates little control of standard writing conventions. Spelling errors, even of common words, frequently distract the reader. There are many end-of-sentence punctuation errors. Frequent, significant errors impede readability. Student work at benchmark 1 is not required to meet specific standards in Voice, Word Choice or Sentence Fluency. The scores and comments below may be helpful for instructional purposes. Voice: The paper scores a 4 in voice. The writer demonstrates commitment to the topic, and there is a sense of writing to be read. When describing Legoland, the writer includes sensory details that he thought made Legoland particularly memorable. The reader can glimpse the writer behind the words and feel a sense of interaction in places. Word Choice: The paper scores a 4 in word choice. The writer employs a variety of words that are functional. Sentence Fluency: The paper scores a low 4 in sentence fluency. The writing flows; however, connections between phrases or sentences may be less than fluid, causing the reader to slow down or reread.....a toymaker named ole kirk Christiansen had made a nother toy to his wooden toys that he yost to make for the children that liket his conpune. The paper demonstrates control over simple sentence structures but variable control over more complex sentences. In Legoland it has the wiet houes.... Sentence patterns are somewhat varied, contributing to ease in oral reading. 3

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5 SCORE SHEET BENCHMARK 1 CLASSROOM ASSIGNMENT: Expository Paper Title: OMSI Trip Must score 3 or higher in the three traits below to meet the standard. Ideas and Content Organization Conventions The bold, italic passages are taken from the official writing scoring guide. Ideas and Content: The paper scores a 3 in ideas and content. Although the opening paragraph presents an important idea, the supporting paragraph seems to focus on only one example, without tying it to the main point. The body paragraph is specific and descriptive, but the lack of a clear purpose matches the following descriptor: support is attempted, but developmental details are limited in scope, uneven, somewhat offtopic, predictable, or overly general. Organization: The paper scores a 3 in organization. There is a beginning and an ending which, although present, are either underdeveloped or too obvious. However, there is no transition or connection between the body paragraph and the introduction or conclusion; therefore, the organization lapses in some places, but helps the reader in others. Conventions: The paper scores a 4 in conventions. End punctuation is correct and the piece is free of spelling errors. Sentence problems are the only distraction: OMSI is in Portland, Oregon, it is a science museum that lets you touch and examine the exhibits. On the whole, the piece is easy to read, with only a moderate need for editing to polish the text for publication. Student work at benchmark 1 is not required to meet specific standards in Voice, Word Choice or Sentence Fluency. The scores and comments below may be helpful for instructional purposes. Voice: The paper scores a high 4 in voice. The writing is sincere: I want to go back to OMSI sometime. Even if just for a minute. The writing shows a sense of audience. The student s brief description of OMSI attempts to help the reader establish understanding:... a science museum that lets you touch and examine the exhibits. Word Choice: The paper scores a high 4 in word choice. The specific but simple words used help convey the intended message. While most expressions are functional, there is an example of word choice that paints a picture: touch and examine exhibits. Sentence Fluency: The paper scores a 4 in sentence fluency. There is a variety of sentence patterns and lengths, although control is not completely consistent. The closing sentence is an example of this: Even if just for a minute I want to go back to OMSI. 5