English II. Persuasive Scoring Guide. March 2015

Transcription

1 English II Persuasive Scoring Guide March 2015 Copyright 2015, Texas Education Agency. All rights reserved. Reproduction of all or portions of this work is prohibited without express written permission from Texas Education Agency.

2 English II Persuasive Prompt Read the information in the box below. Idealistic people are those who pursue great ideas in the hope of changing the world. Because their plans are often quite ambitious, these people can have difficulty accomplishing smaller, concrete goals. In contrast, practical people concentrate on workable ideas and goals. Their approach is likely to lend itself to tangible solutions, even if these people fail to envision grand ideas. Source: Copyright 2011 The College Board, January 2011 SAT Essay Prompt. Reproduced with permission. Which approach is more valuable in life: an idealistic one or a practical one? Think carefully about this question. Write an essay stating your opinion on whether it s better to dream big or to be realistic. Be sure to state your position clearly use appropriate organization provide specific support for your argument choose your words carefully edit your writing for grammar, mechanics, and spelling

3 Persuasive Score Point 1 The essay represents a very limited writing performance. Organization/Progression The organizing structure of the essay is inappropriate to the purpose or the specific demands of the prompt. The writer uses organizational strategies that are only marginally suited to the persuasive task, or they are inappropriate or not evident at all. The absence of a functional organizational structure causes the essay to lack clarity and direction. Most ideas are generally related to the issue specified in the prompt, but the writer s position is missing, unclear, or illogical. The writer may fail to maintain focus on the issue, may include extraneous information, or may shift abruptly from idea to idea, weakening the coherence of the essay. The writer s progression of ideas is weak. Repetition or wordiness sometimes causes serious disruptions in the flow of the essay. At other times the lack of transitions and sentence-to-sentence connections causes the writer to present ideas in a random or illogical way, making one or more parts of the essay unclear or difficult to follow. Development of Ideas The development of ideas is weak. The argument is ineffective and unconvincing because the reasons and evidence the writer uses to support the position are inappropriate, vague, or insufficient. The essay is insubstantial because the writer s response to the prompt is vague or confused. In some cases, the essay as a whole is only weakly linked to the prompt. In other cases, the writer develops the essay in a manner that demonstrates a lack of understanding of the persuasive writing task. Use of Language/Conventions The writer s word choice may be vague or limited. It reflects little or no awareness of the persuasive purpose and does not establish a tone appropriate to the task. Word choice may impede the quality and clarity of the essay. Sentences are simplistic, awkward, or uncontrolled, significantly limiting the effectiveness of the essay. The writer has little or no command of sentence boundaries and spelling, capitalization, punctuation, grammar, and usage conventions. Serious and persistent errors create disruptions in the fluency of the writing and sometimes interfere with meaning. Texas Education Agency Student Assessment Division March 2015

4 March 2015 Persuasive 1 Score Point 1 In the opening of this ineffective essay, the writer takes the position that it is better to dream big because a dream can become a person s motivation. Support for this position statement is weak because limited word choice and uncontrolled sentences make the argument unclear and difficult to follow (Realistic isn t always as good and calm to how dreaming can turn out to be. Dreaming is just another way to be let free and dream what you want to). Overall, the writer s lack of fluency at the word and sentence levels causes her response to the prompt to be vague and confused. These problems represent a very limited writing performance.

5 March 2015 Persuasive 2 Score Point 1 The writer takes the qualified position that its better to have both because if you have a dream it should be realistic, somthing you can actually make true. Although this is an acceptable position statement, the entire essay is written as one long run-on sentence. The writer demonstrates no command of sentence boundaries, which is a serious and persistent error that disrupts the fluency of the writing and makes the argument ineffective.

6 March 2015 Persuasive 3 Score Point 1 The writer begins the essay by taking the position that big ideas are always best if they come from a practical approach. In fact, he contends that all big ideas come from a practical approach, but his explanation of what he means by this statement is unclear, in part because he confuses the meanings of the words practical and practice. Limited and imprecise word choice impedes the writer s ability to clearly communicate his ideas, and the lack of connections from one sentence to the next makes the argument difficult to follow. For the most part, the writer s response to the prompt is vague and confused, demonstrating that he does not understand the persuasive writing task.

7 March 2015 Persuasive 4 Score Point 1 In this very limited writing performance, the writer offers the position that it is better to be realistic because you will only end up disappointed by big dreams. She does not offer any support for this position; instead, she merely repeats it throughout the essay (just be realistic and stick with reality so you don t get excited with just dreaming big ; you will already know the reality and don t get slapped on the face with a lie). This repetition not only weakens the development but also stalls the progression of ideas. For these reasons, the argument is ineffective and unconvincing.

8 Persuasive Score Point 2 The essay represents a basic writing performance. Organization/Progression The organizing structure of the essay is evident but may not always be appropriate to the purpose or the specific demands of the prompt. The essay is not always clear because the writer uses organizational strategies that are only somewhat suited to the persuasive task. Most ideas are generally related to the issue specified in the prompt, but the writer s position is weak or somewhat unclear. The lack of a clear, effective position or the writer s inclusion of irrelevant information interferes with the focus and coherence of the essay. The writer s progression of ideas is not always logical and controlled. Sometimes repetition or wordiness causes minor disruptions in the flow of the essay. At other times transitions and sentence-to-sentence connections are too perfunctory or weak to support the flow of the essay or show the relationships among ideas. Development of Ideas The development of ideas is minimal. The argument is superficial and largely unconvincing because the reasons and evidence the writer uses to support the position are not always appropriate or are too briefly or partially presented. The essay reflects little or no thoughtfulness. The writer s response to the prompt is sometimes formulaic. The writer develops the essay in a manner that demonstrates only a limited understanding of the persuasive writing task. Use of Language/Conventions The writer s word choice may be general or imprecise. It reflects a basic awareness of the persuasive purpose but does little to establish a tone appropriate to the task. Word choice may not contribute to the quality and clarity of the essay. Sentences are awkward or only somewhat controlled, weakening the effectiveness of the essay. The writer demonstrates a partial command of sentence boundaries and spelling, capitalization, punctuation, grammar, and usage conventions. Some distracting errors may be evident, at times creating minor disruptions in the fluency or meaning of the writing. Texas Education Agency Student Assessment Division March 2015

9 March 2015 Persuasive 5 Score Point 2 The writer takes the qualified position that people have the best chance of achieving big goals if they take a realistic approach and achieve smaller goals along the way. To support this position, he lists working hard, thinking, and using common sense as important characteristics of being realistic and presents the example of a person who aspires to be like Beyoncé ([Sara] can t wake up and be famous. She has to work hard for it, like doing talent shows and other things). Though this example is clear, it is superficial because it is so briefly developed. In addition, the writer s attempt to generalize the point of the example in paragraph three is unsuccessful because he merely repeats what he has already said in the first two paragraphs, stalling the progression of ideas and weakening the flow of the essay. Overall, this essay represents a basic writing performance.

10 March 2015 Persuasive 6 Score Point 2 In this basic writing performance, the writer takes the position that being realistic will give you a better chance of accomplishing what you want, while dreaming big will just waste your time. She uses a series of examples (getting a better job, a new car, and a raise) to illustrate the advantages of being realistic and working hard to get what you want. However, the development of each example is brief, and transitions (For example, Another example) are too perfunctory to connect the examples or build any depth. In addition, the writer never addresses the second part of the position statement (how dreaming big will waste your time), weakening the coherence of the essay. Overall, these problems cause the argument to be largely unconvincing and demonstrate that the writer has only a limited understanding of the persuasive writing task.

11 March 2015 Persuasive 7 Score Point 2 In the position statement, the writer asserts that dreaming big makes you look forward to things and brings you success. To support this position, the writer presents a series of general statements (It makes your life more exciting; Being positive... could make you succeed in so many different ways; Dreaming could take you so far in life). The lack of any specificity causes the argument to be superficial and largely unconvincing. The word choice is general throughout and does not contribute to the quality or clarity of the essay. Although the writer demonstrates an adequate control of sentences and command of conventions, his general approach to the topic reflects little thoughtfulness.

12 March 2015 Persuasive 8 Score Point 2 In this basic writing performance, the writer offers the position statement that it is better to be realistic than to pursue an outrageous dream. The writer briefly explains how high school students are encouraged to prepare for the real world and why it s smart to set short-term goals before setting long-term goals. However, in the second half of the essay, the progression of ideas is not always controlled. The writer claims that getting caught up in dreams could sidetrack students from reality, but she neglects to explain how that occurs. In addition, the writer does not move logically from sentence to sentence because each sentence introduces a different idea about dreams or reality. The lack of transitions and logical connections between sentences disrupt the flow of ideas and make the writing jumpy.

13 Persuasive Score Point 3 The essay represents a satisfactory writing performance. Organization/Progression The organizing structure of the essay is, for the most part, appropriate to the purpose and responsive to the specific demands of the prompt. The essay is clear because the writer uses organizational strategies that are adequately suited to the persuasive task. The writer establishes a clear position. Most ideas are related to the position and are focused on the issue specified in the prompt. The essay is coherent, though it may not always be unified due to minor lapses in focus. The writer s progression of ideas is generally logical and controlled. For the most part, transitions are meaningful, and sentence-to-sentence connections are sufficient to support the flow of the essay and show the relationships among ideas. Development of Ideas The development of ideas is sufficient. The argument is largely convincing because the reasons and evidence the writer uses to support the position are specific and appropriate. The essay reflects some thoughtfulness. The writer s response to the prompt is original rather than formulaic. The writer develops the essay in a manner that demonstrates a good understanding of the persuasive writing task. Use of Language/Conventions The writer s word choice is, for the most part, clear and specific. It reflects an awareness of the persuasive purpose and establishes a tone appropriate to the task. Word choice usually contributes to the quality and clarity of the essay. Sentences are reasonably varied and adequately controlled, contributing for the most part to the effectiveness of the essay. The writer demonstrates an adequate command of sentence boundaries and spelling, capitalization, punctuation, grammar, and usage conventions. Although some errors may be evident, they create few (if any) disruptions in the fluency of the writing, and they do not affect the clarity of the essay. Texas Education Agency Student Assessment Division March 2015

14 March 2015 Persuasive 9 Score Point 3 In this satisfactory writing performance, the writer establishes the clear position that taking a practical approach to life and pursuing small goals helps us accomplish big ideas. The writer uses a cause-and-effect organizational strategy throughout the essay to show why working from small goals to big goals is valuable. The development is sufficient to make the argument largely convincing, and both the introduction and the conclusion add some substance. In addition, strong sentence-tosentence connections and meaningful transitions both within and between paragraphs support the flow of the essay. In addition, the writer s control of sentences and command of conventions contribute to the overall quality of the essay.

15 March 2015 Persuasive 10 Score Point 3 The writer takes the clear position that big dreams lead to great accomplishments because dreaming big gives people the drive to work hard and pursue their idealistic goals. The argument is focused on the specific example of 13-year-old Fallon Taylor and her dream to qualify for the National Finals Rodeo. The argument is largely convincing because this example is specific and sufficiently developed, providing good support for the position statement. Although the writer briefly acknowledges the other side of the argument (some people choose simpler lives with goals that are easier to reach), she refutes this idea in the conclusion. The word choice is specific and clear, helping to establish an appropriate tone. In addition, the writer s response to the prompt is thoughtful and original; she demonstrates a good understanding of the persuasive writing task.

16 March 2015 Persuasive 11 Score Point 3 In this concise, satisfactory essay, the writer establishes the clear position that it is better to dream big because when you choose to be realistic, you are placing limits on yourself. The writer uses a compare/contrast organizational strategy to develop the essay. The argument centers on the philosophical idea that choosing to be realistic is just a mask that people wear to hide their fear of failure. He contrasts this idea with the satisfaction and happiness people gain just from attempting to achieve their dreams. Although the essay is relatively short, the development is sufficient because each sentence builds upon the previous sentence. In addition, the writer s approach to the topic is thoughtful and original, and his use of language, particularly his effective use of rhetorical questions, helps to establish an appropriate persuasive tone. The writer s control of sentences and command of conventions contribute to the effectiveness of the essay.

17 March 2015 Persuasive 12 Score Point 3 The writer establishes the clear position that people who pursue practical goals are able to accomplish and contribute more to society than those with bigger ideas. In paragraph two, the writer supports her position with the example of rescue workers providing immediate help to some Hurricane Katrina victims rather than waiting for a master plan to rescue all the victims at once. This example is sufficiently developed with specific information. The writer extends this idea in paragraph three by contrasting practical people, who begin a project immediately after it s been assigned, with idealistic people, who are more likely to procrastinate until they have an idealistic plan. Though the writer does not develop this paragraph with as much specificity as the previous one, the development overall reflects some thoughtfulness. Although the transition between the two body paragraphs could be stronger, the connection between the paragraphs is sufficient to support the flow of the essay. Overall, this essay reflects a satisfactory writing performance.

18 Persuasive Score Point 4 The essay represents an accomplished writing performance. Organization/Progression The organizing structure of the essay is clearly appropriate to the purpose and responsive to the specific demands of the prompt. The essay is skillfully crafted because the writer uses organizational strategies that are particularly well suited to the persuasive task. The writer establishes a clear position. All ideas are strongly related to the position and are focused on the issue specified in the prompt. By sustaining this focus, the writer is able to create an essay that is unified and coherent. The writer s progression of ideas is logical and well controlled. Meaningful transitions and strong sentence-to-sentence connections enhance the flow of the essay by clearly showing the relationships among ideas, making the writer s train of thought easy to follow. Development of Ideas The development of ideas is highly effective. The argument is forceful and convincing because the reasons and evidence the writer uses to support the position are specific and well chosen. The essay is thoughtful and engaging. The writer may choose to recognize the complexities of the issue, consider opposing or alternate points of view, use his/her unique experiences or view of the world as a basis for writing, or connect ideas in interesting ways. The writer develops the essay in a manner that demonstrates a thorough understanding of the persuasive writing task. Use of Language/Conventions The writer s word choice is purposeful and precise. It reflects a keen awareness of the persuasive purpose and maintains a tone appropriate to the task. Word choice strongly contributes to the quality and clarity of the essay. Sentences are purposeful, varied, and well controlled, enhancing the effectiveness of the essay. The writer demonstrates a consistent command of sentence boundaries and spelling, capitalization, punctuation, grammar, and usage conventions. Although minor errors may be evident, they do not detract from the fluency of the writing or the clarity of the essay. The overall strength of the conventions contributes to the effectiveness of the essay. Texas Education Agency Student Assessment Division March 2015

19 March 2015 Persuasive 13 Score Point 4 The writer develops this skillfully crafted essay using a historical context. At the outset of the response, the writer establishes that the one aspect of life that unites people is their mutual mortality (life is short). He uses this philosophical idea as the impetus for his position statement: With that in mind, it s no wonder that so many of our ancestors chose to dream big in their lifetimes in order to improve the world. The support for this position is narrowly focused: the writer appeals to our patriotism and urges us to see ourselves as part of a historical continuum with an appreciation for the past and a devotion to the future. The essay is thoughtful and engaging. Although it is written as one paragraph, the movement from sentence to sentence is well controlled, and the writer s train of thought is easy to follow. Using purposeful and precise language, the writer is able to communicate complex ideas concisely. Every sentence contributes to this accomplished essay.

20 March 2015 Persuasive 14 Score Point 4 In this accomplished writing performance, the writer uses an anecdote to support the position that in order to live happily, you must be willing to follow your idealistic dream. The writer specifically describes her father s situation: he settled for his practical, achievable dream instead of pursuing his dream of becoming a sportswriter. She uses this anecdote as a cautionary tale, making the point that her father is not just regretful about the past but saddened that he will never achieve his big dream. In the last paragraph, she focuses on the lessons that can be learned from her father s example. She acknowledges the complexity of the issue by noting that following a dream takes hard work and that failures along the way are inevitable. The transitional sentence at the beginning of paragraph three enhances the coherence of the argument by providing a strong connection between paragraphs two and three. Overall, the writer s argument is forceful, demonstrating that she has a thorough understanding of the persuasive task.

21 March 2015 Persuasive 15 Score Point 4 This accomplished essay opens with a thoughtful introduction in which the writer clearly establishes the position that it s better to dream big as the world s most life changing ideas/inventions were created by those who chose to be idealistic. He supports this position with two specific historical examples Thomas Edison and the Wright Brothers inventors who gave the world important new technology because they dared to dream. The writer uses an effective transitional sentence ( Like the light bulb, airplane transportation has changed the history of mankind) to thread these two examples together and unify the argument. The conclusion adds substance to the essay, and strong sentence-to-sentence connections enhance the flow of ideas. The writer s word choice reflects a keen awareness of the persuasive purpose, and the strength of the conventions contributes to the overall effectiveness of the essay.

22 March 2015 Persuasive 16 Score Point 4 In this accomplished writing performance, the writer presents a highly effective argument in support of the position that realistic people accomplish more through steady progress than the eager dreamers whose good intentions are usually just empty promises. She uses a causeeffect organizational structure to prove that being realistic is the better choice. The development is effective because the reasons are specific and thoughtful. The movement from sentence to sentence is fluid and well controlled, making the writer s train of thought easy to follow. In addition, the purposeful use of language helps to create a strong persuasive tone that enhances the forcefulness of the argument. Varied, well-controlled sentences and a strong command of conventions contribute to the overall effectiveness of the essay.