From the Desk of the Executive Director...

Transcription

1 A Non-Profit Ministry of First Pres Berkeley From the Desk of the Executive Director... Summer 2015 Newsletter Many of you have heard about the Irish students that were killed or seriously injured in Berkeley recently when a balcony collapsed. First Pres Berkeley reached out to the Irish Consulate and the Irish Immigration Pastoral Center (IIPC) and offered to assist in any way we could. As a result, First Pres was designated as the gathering site for all of the Irish J1 Visa students, families, and volunteers. In partnership with First Pres, Berkeley Christian Counselors was able to have counselors on hand for counseling and debriefing. The IIPC, which organized much of the response for the consulate, was grateful for all of the support and knows that Berkeley Christian Counselors is a resource if any students decide they want to pursue counseling. As it happened, none of the Irish students took advantage of the counseling or debrief sessions offered. Even so, our efforts are worth mentioning for a couple of reasons. One, we learned that Berkeley Christian Counselors is able and willing to respond to emergent and crisis counseling needs with compassion and professionalism. We know that there will be other tragedies in our communities. Please know that you can call on Berkeley Christian Counselors to quickly respond in the face of tragedy or emergency. Further, just as we are called to bear one another s burdens we are also reminded in Leviticus 19:34 that the stranger who resides with you shall be to you as the native among you, and you shall love him as yourself, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt; I am the LORD your God. As a Christian counseling center we strive to not just be clinically excellent therapists, but to work alongside God in His work of healing and wholeness in the world. In this instance, that meant extending care to those strangers among us who have endured so much suffering. We felt called to respond, and were able to do that faithfully and with grace. To paraphrase a famous Irishman (Bono of U2), we are therapists, we provide counseling, but we do hope that when the day is done we ve been able to tear off a little corner of the darkness. Kind regards, Kristen Gustavson, LCSW, PhD Executive Director, Berkeley Christian Counselors These counseling sessions helped me find movement through a stuck place in my life. Berkeley Christian Counselors Client (510) info@berkeleychristiancounselors.org First Presbyterian Church of Berkeley, McKinley Hall, 2407 Dana Street, Berkeley, CA 94704

2 A TESTIMONY FROM OUR LGBT PARENT SUPPORT GROUP By Beth Streeter The LGBT Parent Support Group started early in 2014 as several families in our church were navigating the news that our kids identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. Through individual conversations with our pastor, we came to realize that there were other parents who were also on this very private journey and that one couple whose daughter had come out nearly five years ago was willing to love and support other parents. The group meets monthly, and for two hours we share the ups and downs of our journey and pray for each other and our kids. While we may have different theological or political perspectives about our kids orientation, we focus our time together on the real life experiences of loving our kids and entrusting them to the love and care of Christ. Our meetings are incredibly honest, tender and Spirit-filled. My husband and I look forward to the group every month and leave each meeting strengthened and encouraged by the palpable love and the incredible words of insight and wisdom that were shared by everyone in the group. They say that when our kids come out of the closet, we as Christian parents often go inside the closet. A deeply personal and often confidential journey begins for us as parents as we live with the reality and the implications of our kids orientation in our families, our communities, and our church. It s a journey that s not meant to be traveled alone. See to it that no one misses the grace of God Hebrews 12:15 CHRISTIAN PARENTS OF GAY, LESBIAN, BI-SEXUAL, OR TRANSGENDER CHILDREN Join us in a safe and confidential support group for parents and family members who are navigating this journey. Lean in for support and prayer for our kids and each other. Remembering that God loves our children even more than we do, this monthly parent-led group is a place of mutual caring rather than debate. Dates and Times: 7:30 9 pm, first Wednesday of each month. Cost: Free to participants Registration: For more information and group meeting location, inquire confidentially through Berkeley Christian Counselors at (510) or info@berkeleychristiancounselors.org.

3 UPCOMING SUPPORT GROUPS SEX, LIES, AND VIDEO CLIPS: PORNOGRAPHY AND HIJACKED SEXUALITY This men s group has been designed for adults who are concerned about the ways their use of pornography may be affecting their sexuality and capacity to find fulfillment and intimacy in their relationships with others. The group setting will be a confidential, safe, and accepting place where men can share their struggle and explore information about how pornography impacts our brains, short-circuits our sexual development, and hijacks our need for emotional intimacy. Dates and Times: Mondays, September 14 November 2, 6 8 pm Cost: $120 for eight group sessions (includes all study materials). Registration: reserve your spot by September 8 at (510) or MensHelp@berkeleychristiancounselors.org Instructor: Rick Quisenberry, MA, MFTI (under the supervision of Kristen Gustavson, LCSW, PhD) COUPLE AND PARENT RELATIONSHIPS Our partners and our children have the uncanny ability to show us our wounded places, to draw out and magnify our fears and anger, and to provoke reactive behaviors we may later regret. The key to stopping this negative downward cycle is to first learn how to regulate our own emotions and behaviors. Develop your inner capacity for effective parenting by learning to be mindfully attuned and responsive to self and others; to be calm and emotionally regulated when navigating conflict; to skillfully repair relationship conflict and hurt. Dates and Times: Mindfulness and Repair for Partners and Parents * Lecture: Saturday, September 26, 9 11 am Practice and Discussion Group: Saturdays, October 3 October 31, 9 11 am Emotion Coaching for Spirited Families * Lecture: Saturday, February 13, 9 11 am Practice and Discussion Group: Saturdays, February 20 March 19, 9 11 am Cost: Lecture Only, $20 individual/$30 couple Lecture and Group, $250 individual/$350 couple (includes all study materials). Childcare: $10/child per lecture or group meeting. Multiple child discount available. Advance reservations required. Registration: Reserve your spot by September 15 at (510) or info@berkeleychristiancounselors.org Instructor: Jeanne James, LMFT * Please see our website for a full description of classes, Scholarship funds are available for all groups based on financial need.

4 UPCOMING SUPPORT GROUPS CONTINUED COPING WITH EMOTIONS: DIALECTICAL BEHAVIOR THERAPY SKILLS GROUP Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a very effective skill-based training geared toward helping people manage overwhelming emotions, reduce impulsivity and destructive coping behaviors, and improve their quality of life and relationships. The likelihood of developing intense overwhelming emotions may be hardwired from birth. Parental neglect, abuse, and trauma can also make us more vulnerable to emotional dysregulation. The more you try to suppress or put a lid on your emotions, the more overwhelming they can become. There is a much better way! Berkeley Christian Counselors is offering a DBT group to teach four critically important skill sets that can both reduce the size of emotional waves and help you keep your balance when emotions overwhelm you. Session One: Mindfulness & Self-Compassion Mindfulness is the ability to be aware in the present moment of thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, and actions without judging or criticizing yourself or your experience. For Christians, mindfulness can become the practice of being quiet and listening to God, experiencing God s truth and grace (accepting ourselves as we are while acknowledging our need for change), and learning compassion toward ourselves and toward others. Session Two: Distress Tolerance Skills Distress tolerance skills will help you endure and cope with your pain in a new healthier way so that it doesn t lead to undue suffering. The skills we will learn will teach you to distract, relax, and cope with painful events by building up your resilience and giving you new ways to soften the effects of upsetting circumstances. Session Three: Emotion Regulation Skills Emotion regulation skills will help you cope with intense reactions to your feelings in new and more effective ways. Skills include recognizing your emotions, being mindful of your emotions without judgment, and reducing your vulnerability and reactivity to negative thoughts and feelings. Session Four: Interpersonal Relationship skills Relationships are precious, and they are vulnerable. This DBT module covers interpersonal effectiveness skills, such as assertiveness, which is the ability to ask for what you want, say no, and negotiate conflict without damaging the relationship. Dates and Times: Session One: Thursdays, September 3 October 22, 6:45 8:45 pm Session Two: Thursdays, November 5 January 14, 6:45 8:45 pm Session Three: Thursdays, January 28 March 17, 6:45 8:45 pm Session Four: Thursdays, March 31 May 19, 6:45 8:45 pm Cost: $350 for each 8-week session (scholarships available based on financial need) Registration: Each group is limited to twelve participants. An interview is required prior to registration. For more information or to register, call (510) or info@berkeleychristiancounselors.org. Instructor: Jeanne James, LMFT I like being able to use the DBT Skills in everyday events that would have caused me to explode with negative emotions. I ve now learned how to create space and breathe. Coping with Emotions Group Participant

5 Counselor Corner AN INTERVIEW WITH ANNA LOSCUTOFF, LCSW What brought you to Berkeley Christian Counselors? The opportunity to provide counseling with a Christian perspective drew me to Berkeley Christian Counselors. I like the idea that people can choose to integrate their faith as much or as little as they want within the counseling process. My clinical training has been secular, but I have been following Christ my whole life, and the opportunity to unite these two areas excites me. Tell us about your previous clinical experience. My previous experiences have allowed me to work in multiple clinical environments throughout the Bay Area: at a counseling center in San Leandro, at high schools and middle schools in the East Bay and South Bay, and also in clients homes. At the counseling center, I provided family counseling for teens and parents, as well as individual counseling for adults, children, and adolescents. At the high schools and middle schools, I led educational groups and provided individual counseling for students. What would you say to parents who are struggling with teen angst and rebellion? First off, teen angst and rebellion is developmentally appropriate at this time. Second, figure out a way to balance setting limits, but also giving your teen some space. You are going to have challenging conversations and want to rip out your hair, but remember this is a developmental stage that is necessary for your teen to figure out who they are beyond your family. Lastly, breathe and remind yourself that this will not last forever. Briefly tell us about your faith journey; how did you come to know Christ as Savior? My parents raised me in a Christian family within the Church, and I decided to follow Christ when I was in Jr. High. Since then, the Lord has continued to show me grace, mercy, and growth. I am continually surprised by the Lord s plans for me and the areas that I need to work on that He reveals. God has faithfully stood by my side and has led me to a great church, small group, and community. I am so grateful for the calling of being Christ s disciple and could not choose any other life. Anna Loscutoff, LCSW, as well as our other Licensed Clinicians and Interns are accepting new clients. We do not currently have a waitlist. Please call (510) or info@berkeleychristiancounselors.org to make an appointment. Counseling has made me more centered. It helped me to navigate out of challenging times and helped decrease my stress, anxiety, and self-loathing. It has given me powerful tools for lasting change. Berkeley Christian Counselors Client

6 BERKELEY CHRISTIAN COUNSELORS First Presbyterian Church of Berkeley McKinley Hall, 2407 Dana Street Berkeley, CA Would you like more information about Berkeley Christian Counselors? Please contact us at the phone number or listed above. We are happy to answer questions, provide resources, or schedule an informational meeting about the services that we offer. Looking for a great resource? We recommend THE CULTIVATED LIFE: FROM CEASELESS STRIVING TO RECEIVING JOY by Susan S. Phillips "Susan Phillips can write this book because she lives it. For three decades and more, I have observed the choices she makes to cultivate life and this has been the hallmark of her story. This book is a deep and magnanimous invitation to live in such a way that the flourishing for which we are made can become our experience. Let the grounded welcome she extends and encourages lead us through the circus towards life itself." (Mark Labberton, president of Fuller Theological Seminary)