20 Caitlyn Daczyk, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, is currently a double major in Psychology and English at St. Norbert College. She is interested in old movies, and others have described her as witty, intelligent, and caring. She enjoys writing fairy tales, including her new fairy tale, which reveals what happens to Cinderella after she marries her prince. It turns out Prince Charming is not as charming as we thought. After Happily Ever After Caitlyn Daczyk Allison Shackelton What is supposed to happen happily ever after? Whatever happened to Cinderella and Prince Charming? The last thing I remember is they got married, shared a loving embrace, and that was the end. The problem is, The End never actually is the end; it s some place between marriage and in this case divorce. In case you ve forgotten how Prince Charming and Cinderella met, I will quickly give you the condensed version. Cinderella and Prince Charming met at a ball a couple of years ago. She was pretty, graceful on the dance floor, and had small feet. He was rich. Soon after their enchanted meeting, the two got married. You might be wondering why these two lovebirds are getting a divorce; lucky for you, I know exactly why I am Cinderella s divorce lawyer. A couple of months ago, Cindy (she prefers Cindy) sent me a letter requesting my help. I suppose this is the best place to start: To Whom It May Concern: My name is Cinderella Charming and I am in desperate need of a divorce lawyer. A couple of months ago, I began to get the sneaking suspicion that my husband, Prince Charming, was being unfaithful. At first, he was just late for dinner a couple nights a week, but then it started getting worse. He kept leaving on business trips for weeks at a time he is unemployed. I m starting to wonder if he is even a real prince. My suspicions were confirmed the other day when I found a women s shoe in his closet. He claimed it was mine, but I knew it was not since it was not made out of glass. Then he tried to tell me that he had purchased them for me as a surprise, except there was only one shoe (I m also starting to wonder if my husband has a foot fetish). Finally, I received a letter the other day from a man named Dopey who claimed that my husband had run off with a woman he loves
21 named Snow White. I m unsure of what to do; I am in desperate need of your assistance. Sincerely, Cindy Charming You can imagine when I received Cindy s letter I was very intrigued. We met a week later in the enchanted forest I personally thought this was an odd place to meet a client, but she insisted. After informing Cindy how the divorce process would be and how much of Prince Charming s assets I thought we would be able to obtain, Cindy determined divorce was her best option. I was initially concerned with how I would go about with serving the prince with the divorce papers; I was unsure how I would manage to get past the palace guards. Considering some of the guards were mice, that wasn t terribly arduous, and once I told the prince s assistant I was a glass-shoe salesman, I met with the prince immediately. No sooner than he had asked me if I had any new shoes to show him, I handed him the papers and said, Prince Charming, you ve been served. When the prince responded by asking me who was serving him, I knew this would be an interesting case. Cindy, Prince Charming, his father s lawyer, and I met on Sunday afternoon in one of the palace s boardrooms. A beautiful chandelier hangs from the ceiling, bookshelves as high as the ceiling lined the walls, and in the center of the room a large oak table with two chairs on each side Cindy and I on one side and Prince Charming and his lawyer on the other. Let s make this quick, shall we? the Prince s lawyer pompously exclaimed. Why, Cindy, Why? the Prince shrieked, pounding his fists on the table as if he were a toddler having a tantrum. Cindy leaned over the table and yelled, You dirty, cheating piece of [dirt]! (Cindy asked that I censor that last part). Between the royal couple s erratic behavior and the prince s useless lawyer, it was up to me to proceed with the divorce. Prince Charming, I said calmly. All Cindy asks is that you give her the divorce, one-third of your assets, and the west wing of the castle. You must be a madwoman if you think we will give her the west wing, the Prince s lawyer shouted. No. I would be a madwoman if I reported to the papers about the Prince s various liaisons with a certain fair maiden...
22 How did you find out about Sleeping Beauty? The prince cried. Cindy abruptly got out of her seat and left the room, and I quickly followed after her. The Prince sat in total silence as his snobbish lawyer went on and on about proper divorce etiquette (as if there is any). I assume the Prince was too shocked to speak and the lawyer was being paid per word. Cindy and I returned moments later, ready to renegotiate. We have a new proposition for the prince, I stated. Cindy will accept only one-fourth of the Prince s assets and the slightly-smaller east wing of the castle if the prince will explain himself. If he does not, you can be certain the readers of Fairy Times will know all about this tomorrow. As he twirled his black, greasy mustache, the prince s lawyer said, Absolutely not. I highly doubt... Yes, fine. I will tell you, the prince hastily interrupted. Cindy, I do want you to know how truly sorry I am. But I do not think it is completely my fault, I cannot help how charming I actually am. Proceed with your story, my dearest, Cindy exclaimed sarcastically. Yes, yes. All right. Well, as you know, I used to spend a lot of time in the enchanted forest it s where I met my first fiancée Rapunzel. I really loved her, but she was too highmaintenance for me. She would spend a fortnight brushing and fixing her hair. We never actually got to spend any time with one each other her hair was always in the way. Can we get back to why we re here? I requested. Of course, I apologize, the Prince added. Right after Rapunzel and I broke up, I was walking back through the forest when I heard the most beautiful voice I had ever heard. I thought I had the most beautiful voice you had ever heard! Cindy screeched. You do, you do! It s just... different, the prince retorted, already regretting the latter portion of his statement. Different? Different how? Cindy inquired, intrigued to hear his response. Well... Sleeping Beauty has a light, soprano tone to her singing, while you have a very soulful alto voice, the prince responded, half-smiling, hoping his response would suffice; Cindy did not look pleased. I glared at the Prince. Yes, right. Back to the story, the Prince said. Anyway, I had been seeing Sleeping
Beauty for a while and I was going to propose to her the next... You were going to propose? Cindy exclaimed. How many fiancées have you had? Including you? Four, the Prince uttered. But let s get back to the story, the Prince added before Cindy had the chance to reprimand him again. I went to find her out in the forest, but she was not there. Her godmother told me a spell was cast on her and Sleeping Beauty would never be able to wake up. I was absolutely heart-broken; I wandered through the woods sobbing. Out of nowhere, this beautiful maiden approached me and handed me her handkerchief. After she consoled me for quite some time, I began to feel like my life would not end there, the Prince spoke melodramatically. Her name was Snow White and we began having regular rendezvous in the forest. What is it with these people and this forest? I wondered to myself. I was somewhat bothered by the fact that she lived with seven other men, but I loved her. I told my father I wanted to have a ball in order to find a suitable wife, when in actuality, Snow White was going to attend and I would propose to her that night. The night of the ball came and I impatiently waited near the entrance... she never came. But then you came in, the prince said bashfully, looking at Cindy. I had the most extraordinary evening with you you were so pretty and danced so gracefully I knew I had to marry you. The beginning of our marriage was wonderful. Then one day, I received a letter. Sleeping Beauty s godmother wrote to me, telling me the spell would be broken if I would kiss Sleeping Beauty. I did not think one kiss would cause a ruckus. While you were asleep one night, the Prince directed at Cindy, I left for Sleeping Beauty s castle to reverse the spell. I was planning on coming home right after I kissed her, but once she awoke, I forgot how much I had missed her. We stayed up the whole night talking, which wasn t too difficult for her since she had just slept for about a year. I left before the sun rose and snuck back home. Sleeping Beauty and I had planned on meeting in the forest the next day. After I had taken my royal nap, I slunk out to go meet my love... my other love... one of my loves, the prince added with some certainty. I m unsure how it happened but I got lost in the woods, I was wandering aimlessly for quite some time when I heard people crying. I ran through the trees and saw my beautiful Snow White lying in a glass casket. 23
24 Apparently, some ugly hag gave her a poisonous apple. I thought the appropriate thing to do was say good-bye to her and kiss her. You kissed a corpse? Cindy exclaimed with a disgusted look on her face. Yes. Well, no. The moment I kissed her, she had awoken. I had no idea I was such a good kisser bringing all of those maidens back from the dead. Mhm. Get back to the story, Cindy quipped. Right. So I had completely forgotten about Sleeping Beauty, and I spent the entire day with Snow White. It was wonderful. On my way back to you, Cindy, I ran into Sleeping Beauty again. It was if I fell in love with her every time I saw her. When I got home that night, I found you asleep in bed. I kissed you, but you did not wake. That was when I decided that our marriage was most likely over. So because I did not wake up to you kissing me, you decided to have relations with two other women? Cindy exclaimed glaringly. Essentially... yes, the Prince added. After the Prince told his story and his lawyer awoke from his nap (please note the Prince was not the one to wake him), we settled on one-fourth of the prince s assets and the east-wing of the castle. The Prince signed the divorce papers and Cindy went back to being Cindy Inglenook. It had been months since I had seen Cindy, and although I was extremely busy with other cases, I was curious about what she had been up to lately. About a month ago, I received a letter from Cindy: To My Dear Friend: How are you? Hope all is well. I wanted to thank you again for all of your help. I do not know if I would have been able to get through that without your assistance. My mishaps with the Prince have inspired me to write a short story, I wanted to send you a copy before anyone else read it. It is a story of a young, beautiful maiden who encounters quite a dog. I believe other maidens should be aware not all princes are trustworthy. I m calling it Little Red Riding Hood. Let me know what you think. Sincerely, Cindy Inglenook