Summer/Fall 2013 New England Organ Bank Reflections A bi-annual newsletter to honor organ and tissue donors and their families. The Hero with the Red Heart By: Shawn Haubner, donor brother I will never forget the day I received the worst phone call I have ever gotten. My mother called me around nine in the morning on December 31, 2008, crying hysterically. I knew right at that moment that something terrible had happened. She told me that my little brother, Mark was in a car accident and he was in really bad shape, not doing well at all. I was standing in the middle of the showroom where I worked and immediately ran out the door. I went home to get my wife, who was eight months pregnant with our first child, and we headed for Beth Israel Hospital in Boston. We made the drive to Boston from Chicopee MA, which took about five hours because a major snowstorm Shawn (right) is pictured with his brother, Mark (left) had come that day. Those were five very anxious hours that we spent hoping, praying, and believing he was going to be okay. When we arrived at the hospital, we found my family in the waiting room crying together, and holding each other. At that moment the doctors said that the outcome was grim, and Mark did not have a good chance at survival because of how bad his injuries were. At that moment, my wife and I decided that we were going to name our son after him. (Owen Mark Haubner was born on Feb 13, 2009). Over the next two days, we found out that Mark had designated himself as an organ donor, and we were asked if we wanted to donate his organs. The fascinating thing about this is that we all didn t know he was an organ donor; he made that decision at age 16. How amazing. After speaking with our family, we decided that Mark wanted to donate his organs, and we made the decision to move forward with donating his organs. No one in our family was an organ donor at the time but we are now! When the doctors came to us on Friday, January 2, 2009, they told us that Mark was not going to make it, and he was taken off life support and lived for about 12 minutes on his own. They rushed him away shortly after he passed, and were able to successfully recover his liver, kidneys, corneas, and bone tissue to use for donation. We were happy in the fact that a part of Mark would live on in others, and give them a chance at a better life. The New England Organ Bank contacted us within the next few days to tell us that Mark s liver and kidneys were transplanted into patients awaiting those organs. We were all amazed that they were used so quickly and helped those people. A young woman, who had been on dialysis for five years, received one of his kidneys. A middle-aged man received his liver, and an older gentleman received his other kidney, but unfortunately did not make it. We were grateful for the fact that Mark was so willing to want to help others! We are grateful for the doctors at Beth Israel for taking great care of Mark and trying everything they could to keep him alive. We are also grateful for the New England Organ Bank. Since Mark passed away and his organs were donated to help others, my family and I have taken initiative to raise awareness for organ donation and how important and life-saving it can be. (Continued on page 3) 1
Even our four-legged friends help us promote donation. Thanks, Zeus! Inspire others to consider the importance of donation by sharing how organ and tissue donation has touched your life. We are fortunate to have volunteers across New England promote donation in their community by sharing their stories. Your first-hand experiences give a stronger meaning College Campus Campaigns to our message and inspires others to Donor Drives consider the importance of organ and High School Programs tissue donation. We don t always know when we will need volunteers, Media Campaigns but it is helpful to have people who Motor Vehicle Ambassador would be interested in sharing their Programs story that we can contact, possibly just Sporting Events once or twice a year. There are also many ongoing opportunities to raise awareness in your community. Some of our activities include: Team Donate Life New England Traveling Art Exhibit To learn more about opportunities to share your story and get involved please contact Jennifer Cray at Jennifer_Cray@neob.org or (508) 363-9682. DMV Ambassador Program Our Motor Vehicle Ambassador Program is a vital outreach to help increase the number of individuals who register to be an organ & tissue donor. The Department of Motor Vehicles plays a very important role in organ and tissue donation because 99% of all people who identify themselves as donors do so at their state department of motor vehicle office. Our Ambassadors provide the opportunity to connect with the DMV staff to stress the importance of asking each customer the donation question. Ambassadors have a personal story connected with donation and sharing that first-person story has proven to be successful in communicating the lifesaving benefits of donation. Our program is increasing the number of people registering to NEOB s Matt Boger (pictured in front row) poses with Mrs. Massachusetts and local RMV staff to help promote donation. be donors and we could not accomplish this goal without the participation of our Ambassadors. Please contact Jenn Cray if you would like more information about our DMV Ambassador Program at jennifer_cray@neob.org or (508)363-9682. 2
(continued from page 1) We decided to host an annual Memorial Motorcycle Ride in memory of Mark Port Haubner and all the donations from the ride go to The New England Organ Bank. We started the Memorial Ride in the summer of 2009 and have successfully held five annual Memorial Motorcycle Rides. All riders that participate in the ride donate $25 to NEOB. Friends and family that join us on the day of the ride also donate money to raise awareness for organ donation. The ride goes through Wilmington MA, stopping at the cemetery where Mark was laid to rest, and we ride up to Hampton Beach, which was one of Mark s favorite places to go. Each year, the Haubner family and fellow riders make a stop along their memorial route to visit the Honda North in Danvers, MA where Mark used to work. The company donated a granite bench in Mark s memory. Along the way we stop at the dealership he worked at, Honda North in Danvers, MA. Honda North donated a granite bench in Mark s name, calling him Honda North s 7th Player. Last year we raised over $1100, the largest amount to date. Our goal as a family is to make everyone aware that organ donation is very important, and can impact and save lives. Mark has shown us through his courage that we can make a difference in this world, and that organ donation is a great way to make a big difference! The 5th Annual Memorial Ride in memory of Mark was held on June 22, 2013, and staff from NEOB were present to hand out flyers, sign people up to become organ, eye and tissue donors, and to raise awareness. The Haubner family successfully raised over $2,000, and all of the proceeds were donated to New England Organ Bank. 3
AND THE BEAT GOES ON: melodies of my father Meeting baby Christopher for the first time with dad. Pictured from left to right: Elizabeth, Christopher, Adam, and Greg. By: Elizabeth Blais, donor daughter My father was a wonderful man; frustrating from time to time, caring and loving. He was the one who taught me that hard work pays off, to question what you think you know, and question what anyone tells you. He taught me a love of music and a love of reading. He was the one who taught me the importance of family, and the importance of standing up for myself and standing up for those who are not able to stand for themselves. He had a passion for puzzles; a passion my brothers and I constantly fed while trying to find a more complex Rubik s Cube. He was my best friend. If anyone could keep their spirits up and be positive, it was my dad. It has been over a year now since Cardiomyopathy claimed my father s life while he was awaiting transplant. Not a day has passed when a smell of someone s cologne or a bottle of diet coke (his favorite) hasn t reminded me of his laugh or his smile. He had such a wonderful sense of humor, and when he was given an LVAD to help him make it to transplant, he adopted the Tin Man as a mascot. My brothers would joke with him and say, He s more machine now than man, and then he would pretend to be Darth Vader from Star Wars. After my father s death in the winter of 2012, I found myself constantly listening to some of his favorite bands. The Bare Naked Ladies and Kansas repeatedly blasted through my headphones as I walked to work, and walked to school. The melodies of Some Fantastic and Dust in the Wind soothed my heartache and brought back a warmth to my heart that I felt I had left in that hospital room with him that last day. Though I knew full well that the end of the battle was coming, I was still heartbroken when I walked into the hospital and my brothers told me he was gone. As I stood there in that cold, clean hospital corridor, sobbing and exhausted, I was relieved that his suffering was finally over. That In the dark hours of the night when I sit and brood over the meaning of his illness, or the point of his suffering, I simply remind myself that a part of him goes on in those who he has saved...and it s enough. thought haunted me for months as I thought, I m the worst daughter in the world. How could I claim to love him so much and be relieved by his death? It took me several months to realize that it was because I loved him that I was relieved. He had fought for four years, and at the end he was tired. It was time to let go and that was ok. When we were asked if we would be willing to allow our father s organs to be used for donation, we did not hesitate. There is no doubt in my mind that my dad would have wanted to make a donation. Though we may never know the names of the people he has impacted, we know that the gift of life given by our father had the potential to save the lives of several people. In the dark hours of the night, when I sit and brood over the meaning of his illness or the point of his suffering, I simply remind myself that a part of him goes on in those who he has saved and it s enough. Elizabeth and her siblings enjoy a day at Nantasket Beach in Hull, MA with their dad. Pictured from left to right: Christopher, Adam, Elizabeth and Greg. 4
Now that I am gone, remember me with smiles and laughter. And if you need to cry, cry with your sister who walks in grief beside you. And when you need me, put your arms around anyone and give to them what you need to give to me. There are so many who need so much. I want to leave you something something better than words or sounds. Look for me in the people I ve known or helped in some special way. Let me live in your heart as well as in your mind. You can love me most by letting your love reach out to our loved ones, by embracing them and living in their love. Love does not die, people do. So, when all that s left of me is love, give me away as best you can. Author Unknown It is now time for me to move on Into the dusk, but also the dawn. I will remain as the morning comes As I ve left behind a gift for someone. So another may walk, may talk, may see Where their life was locked, I offered a key. -Author Unknown A rose is a symbol of love, loss and renewal. It represents something different to every family; to some it is a symbol of hope, to others it is an expression of grief, and to still others it is an offering of gratitude. The Donate Life Dedication Garden offers all people touched by organ, eye and tissue donation the opportunity to honor loved ones by dedicating a rose tagged with a personal message and placed in the Dedication Garden on the Donate Life float in the Rose Parade, which is watched by tens of millions of people in the U.S. and worldwide on New Year s Day. For more information, please visit www.donatelifefloat.org and choose Dedication Garden from the menu. 5
The Remembrances Quilt Project The Remembrances Quilt is a testament to the generosity of donor families and a tribute to their loved ones whose life and death the quilt commemorates. The quilt is composed of squares of fabric individually designed and created by donor family members/friends. As an ongoing project, you may send quilt squares to New England Organ Bank at any time for inclusion in subsequent Remembrance Quilt panels. If you are interested, please visit our website at www.neob.org or call 1-800-446-6362 to request a set of instructions. As you can see from the photo of Quilt #11, a square can be constructed in many different ways. We have volunteers who are willing to assist you in creating your special square in remembrance of your loved one. Contact us for more information. We are now compiling our twelfth quilt panel. In addition to your square, please send in a short explanation of the meaning behind the square. Thank you... to everyone who contributed to this edition of REFLECTIONS. If you have a story or idea you would like to share with others, please contact us. Your input continues to make REFLECTIONS an important resource. As always, our thoughts and support remain with you. Sign up to be an organ and tissue donor at www.donatelifenewengland.org Visit us on: To continue receiving future issues of Reflections... Please contact us via the following routes to have your name and address added to our mailing list: Mail: Stacey Kinnier Editor, Reflections Newsletter New England Organ Bank 60 First Avenue Waltham, MA 02451 Show your support! Promote organ & tissue donation by placing a 5 x 5 Donate Life car magnet on your car. To receive a car magnet at no charge please contact Jennifer Cray at Jennifer_Cray@neob.org or call (508)363-9682. Phone: 617-244-8000 or 800-446-6362 Email: Stacey_Kinnier@neob.org *Please note that in an effort to go green, there is an electronic version of Reflections available as well! 6