So you re going to a Dining Out..

So you re going to a Dining Out.. This is a detailed explanation of some of the history, organization, planning and execution of a formal military dinner commonly referred to as Mess Night or Dining-In. When the dinner is expanded to include both officers and their spouses or guests of unmarried officers, it is usually referred to as a Dining Out. History Gallantry and comradeship in arms have enabled our Navy to build a name for itself that is known throughout the world. Feared by our enemies and respected by every military service in existence, this name was not easily won. We of the Navy should not allow ourselves to forget our accomplishments, nor should we allow others to forget. By that we do not mean that we should advertise our war record, or should we even mention it. But to maintain our name, we must conduct ourselves at all times in a manner befitting one who is part of such a tradition. The maintenance of traditional discipline, gallantry, and love of the Navy is our duty. We must see that the same high standard of respect and prestige is not only maintained, but further strengthened. It must be passed on to the future officers who will take our place within these ranks and look back with pride on what we have accomplished. The Dining Out is one element in fostering such standards. Throughout the years it has been the custom of officers in service to their country to enjoy an evening of camaraderie at a formal dinner affair. These banquets were a celebration of victory and a recount of exploits in battle and normally took place soon after the battle was ended. These affairs were attended by the officers alone and came to be known as Mess Nights, or Dining Ins. The custom of the Dining Out traces its beginning along two major lines. Upon returning home following the battle or long voyage, the officers again gathered together to enjoy the same fellowship, this time in the company with their ladies, in celebration of the return home. The other tradition holds that the officers and their ladies banqueted together to observe special occasions or prior to the departure of the men to join the battle. In either case, the same formalities, the same customs, and the same traditions observed at the Mess Night were also practiced at what we know as the Dining Out. The general pattern for the affair we now practice has been carefully researched and has been found to agree, almost to the letter, with the customs of the officers messes of the Royal Navy and Regimental Messes of the British Army. This is not surprising when we consider that during the early formative period of our country the majority of our military leaders received what formal military education and background they possessed from the British during the French and Indian War of 1756. The parading of the beef, the declaration that it is fit to eat by the Mess President, and the sampling of wines by the Mess President are all traditions based on the fact that leadership

carries great responsibilities. By the President s acceptance of the meat and drink, he is able to demonstrate his concern for the welfare of his men and the guests for the Mess. Organization There are two Officers of the Mess, the President and the Vice President. The President presides over the Mess throughout the evening and is normally the Commanding Officer of the unit. The Vice President is normally the junior member of the Mess. However, in Messes which do not regularly dine together, the Vice President is appointed by the President, and he may be any member of the command who the President feels is well qualified to perform the tasks of Mr. Vice. Traditionally, Mr. Vice is a person with a keen wit and a fine sense of repartee who can be expected to stimulate table conversation. For this reason, only Mr. Vice may address items of interest to the Mess members without the President s leave. Uniform Uniform is dinner dress blues / service equivalent for Active Duty members of the Mess, black tie for civilian members and guests of the mess. Reception / Cocktail Hour The cocktail hour is primarily designed to allow sufficient time for all officers to assemble before proceeding to the Dining Room. Each officer should consider himself a guest of the senior officer of the Mess and conduct himself accordingly. It is customary for every officer on arrival to formally greet the senior officer present. Remember: the prudent Seaman husbands the ship s store during long voyages. A Dining Out is a social voyage of some duration. Careful sailors should avoid heavily laden passages. There will be sufficient time after dinner to completely satisfy any unquenched thirst of voyagers. Call to Dinner The signal for dinner will be the playing of appropriate march music marking Officers Call. After Officers Call, as soon as the music starts, all officers should dispose of their drinks and cigarettes and proceed without delay to their respective places at the table. Drinks and cigarettes will not be carried into the dining room. When officers have located their places at the tables, they stand quietly behind their chairs, their lady guests seated. At this time, the smoking lamp is out and will remain out until relit by the President of the Mess. The party to be seated at the head table will remain in the cocktail area. When the senior officer indicates he is ready to dine, the President will signal those to be seated at the head table to form into the order in which they are to march into the dining room. Once assembled, they will proceed to their seats. Gavel

The gavel will be used by the President to signal the members. Three resounding raps require the attention of the members whether standing or seated. Two raps cause the members to rise, standing in place, and one is the signal for the members to take their seats. Applause During the Mess Night, applause will be by striking the table sharply with a spoon or extended fingers. Do not strike a glass or clap your hands, such actions are considered inappropriate and in poor taste. Dinner From grace until toasts, there is an air of strict formality. There is no smoking, and no one may take their place at the table after the head table has entered without requesting permission to do so, also no one may leave the table without permission of the President. Diners are free to engage in normal behavior and conversation; however, during dinner one may not without the President s permission: a. Come in and sit down at the table; b. Leave the table or return to it after being permitted to leave; c. Throw any articles d. Commence a course before the President e. Smoke f. Use foul language or tell smutty stories g. Discuss or place bets or wagers; h. Discuss political or controversial issues; i. Talk shop. ( Shop in this instance refers to matters with the command it does not include matters of general interest to the service); j. Mentions a woman s name (unless she is a celebrity of spouse); k. Speak a foreign language; l. Propose a toast The naturally inquisitive nature of seaman may from time to time provoke the calling of the attention of the entire Mess to topics of timely interest. Mr. Vice will address the President and members of the Mess on various matters for edification and entertainment during the course of the meal. Other members of the Mess may also contribute observations to the entire Mess but only after being acknowledged by the President. The dinner is served. The ranking guest is served first, followed by others around the table. Serving may also proceed simultaneously beginning with the Vice President. The stewards serve the appropriate wines. The wines are not used for toasting, as it is not proper to propose a toast during dinner. Requesting Permission In order to be recognized, for any request, the Mess member will rise and stand behind their place (and say nothing) until recognized by the Mess President or his trusted agent, Mr. Vice.

After the member has been recognized, they may address the Mess. These procedures will also be followed when either requesting permission to be excused from the Mess or joining the Mess. Wines Good wine is as much a part of a formal dinner as the entrée. Should an individual not desire wine, they should put their place card over the glass or inform the steward that they do not wish wine. Passing the Port and Toasts Following dessert, their will be a short recess. The tables will be cleared except for port glasses. The officers and their guests will reassemble; the officers will stand behind their chairs until seated by the President. The decanters of port are placed on the table, Mr. Vice reports to the President, The wine is ready to pass, Sir. The President begins passing the decanter (or bottle) of port to the other members of his table. Remember, a decanter is never passed to the right. If an Officer does not desire port, glasses should still be charged with port for the toast and at least raised to the lips. Although not very good form, it is permissible for him to pass his glass to the officer who has the decanter at the moment and ask him to fill it. No one may touch their port until the LOYAL TOAST, a toast to our Commander-in-Chief and President of the United States, has been proposed. It is not necessary to take wine if you don not want it, but if you do not take it on the first round, you may not take it subsequently. Do not bottoms up: your drink on each toast. Bottoms up is expected only on the toast to the United States Navy, the last of the evening. Do not be caught in the position of having an un-charged glass! In civilian circles, if you do not take wine, your glass will be filled with water, but in the Navy we never drink a toast with water, as superstition says that the subject of our solicitude will die by drowning (if water will sink a ship, think what it will do to a man). When the wine has been passed and all decanters have reached their destination, Mr. Vice reports to the President, The wine has been passed, Sir. The President then stoppers the decanter in front of him and the other officers follow suit. Our custom of proposing the first toast to the Commander-in-Chief of the United States was of course, taken from the Loyal Toast or, in the days of Elizabeth II, The Queen s Toast ; it has always signaled the beginning of the toasting ceremonies. Officers of the Royal Navy have the distinction of being able to drink the loyal toast while seated because the wardroom of ancient sailing ships had insufficient head room to permit the toasters to stand.

Now that the glasses are charged, the formal toasts begin, toasts are proposed to institutions and offices, never to persons by proper names. To call a toast, the President or a member stands and proposes the toast. Mr. Vice stands and seconds the toast. Each member stands and raises their glass. Each member repeats the toast and sips their drink. The following example applies: President: Mr. Vice, the President of the United States Mr. Vice: Rises with his wine glass raised and replies: Ladies and Gentlemen, The President of the United States All members: All members will then rise with raised glasses while the band plays Hail to the Chief. When the music stops, all members reply, The Commander-in-Chief. Each officer sips his wine. The President will seat the Mess with one rap of the gavel after each toast. The order of formal toasting is as follows: 1. Commander-in-Chief of the United States 2. USMC 3. CNO 4. Fallen Comrades Formal toasting closely follows a set pattern and marks calling honor and respect to specific institutions and person. Upon completion of the formal toasts, the President introduces the official Guest of Honor. All members will rise as the Guest of Honor stands, then resume their seats. The Guest of Honor will make a few appropriate remarks. Following remarks from the Guest of Honor, the President will afford the mess to present toasts. Members of the Mess who wish to initiate a toast will stand and address the President. On being recognized, the member will briefly present his justification for desiring such a toast, ending with the words of the proposed toast. Inspired with and subtle sarcasm are much appreciated in these toasts. If the President deems the toast justified, he will direct Mr. Vice to second the toast in the manner as in the formal. Upon conclusion of the informal toasts, the President will instruct Mr. Vice to conduct the business of the mess. At this time, Mr. Vice will bring forth any violations of the mess he observed during the meal. Other members may petition the President to relate further observances. The President will levy a fine for each infraction of the mess. Post Prindial Mess Night is concluded with a final toast to the United States Navy. At this time, port glasses will be drained. The President will announce: Ladies and Gentlemen, the smoking lamp is lit; please escort me to the bar. This concludes the formalities of the evening.

In no case should a member depart before all official guests have retired, since each officer is host to the guests of the mess. It is also customary not to leave the mess until the Commanding Officer has retired for the evening. Mr. Vice remains in the mess until all officers have departed. This is necessary to ensure that all officers and guest receive the full courtesies of the mess, yet leave promptly at closing time. Smoking The smoking lamp is out from the time Officers Call is played until the lamp is lit by the President. Final Word There are usually a few offices who think that dining in the Mess is the most appropriate action for horseplay and elaborate infringement of the rules. Whether or not this type of activity is in order is dependent upon its acceptance as conduct becoming of mature officers and gentlemen when dining. The evening is designed to bring good friends together and to have fun. The formality of the evening is intended to enhance this goal. The Landing Party Manual states, Do not, in particular, let yourself be overcome or stupefied by the apparent formality of Mess Night; the object is the pleasure of comradeship of all hands. a Mess night is not a minuet. Let this be the spirit of the evening. There are other points which could be mentioned with respect to rights, wrings, customs when dining in the Mess, but the foregoing covers the fundamentals. After all we should leave a couple of loopholes for zealous Presidents and knowledgeable members of the Mess!