Tips and Tricks for Helping Your Child Succeed at School and at Home

Tips and Tricks for Helping Your Child Succeed at School and at Home

Table of Contents Presentations Executive Function Overview Kim VanBrocklin, MCDS Educational Resource Coordinator/Grade 1 Teacher Executive Functioning Stacy Mattson, MCDS Head of Lower School What to Expect and What to Do to Help your Child Succeed Devon Davis, MCDS Head of Middle School Resources From Smart but Scattered by Peg Dawson, EdD and Richard Guare, PhD Executive Skills Questionnaire for Parents Executive Skills Questionnaire for Children Preschool/Kindergarten Version Lower Elementary Version (Grades 1 3) Upper Elementary Version (Grades 4 5) Middle School Version (Grades 6 8) Capitalizing on Strengths How Do You Learn Best? The Children s Learning Style Questionnaire Top Brain Foods What Do We See When We Look at the Brains of Adolescents? Organizational Tips Parent University: For Parents of Advanced Learners! Recommended Books

Executive Function Overview: The frontal lobe controls our executive functioning, which relates to the planning, organization, and follow-through on tasks or monitoring one s own behavior. Many researchers believe that the frontal cortex isn t fully developed until one reaches their mid-twenties and that by adolescence (33%) and into adulthood (up to 70%) of elementary students who displayed poor executive functioning skills, outgrew them. In addition, a person s WORKING MEMORY is an important part of executive functioning. How do we recall information we need to carry out activities? (I.e. dialing a telephone and remembering the number). Those with successful working memory skills are often relaxed as they take in information, which is different from subjects who have poor working memory/executive functioning who may exhibit anticipatory stress. They are anticipating something is going to be difficult or will go wrong, which releases more cortisone into the body. Zebras don t get ulcers; we can learn from them. They take stressful situations as they come. Key points: 1. There is no singular test related to executive functioning. Teachers and parent s informal observations are just as critical as clinical assessments. 2. The top three ways to enhance cognition are: Back to contents 1

A. Optimal Sleep (10-12 hours from Elementary; 8 for Middle/H.S) B. Awareness of Top Brain Foods (See handout). C. Identifying your child s dominant learning style (and yours, too)! Almost 20 factors SHAPE your child s learning style: Birth Order, raised in rural or city, languages spoken in the home, diet, genetics, extended family, sleep patterns, diet, exposure to culture, physical health, stress, etc. Once you determine your child s dominant learning style, you can understand how to best give them guidance, directions, and how to tailor your expectations. 3. Learned Helplessness plays a part in executive functioning by changing the student s brain chemistry. (It is a chronic condition that results in the student s unwillingness to try or care about learning outcomes). Symptoms include: Not caring what happens, giving up before they get started; passivity vs. activity; signs of anxiety; not acting upon a request; sabotaging positive outcomes. Probable causes: A. Repeated exposure to high stress situations (or, difficulty with a particular subject in school or teacher they may not gel with). B. Well-intended but overly controlling relationships where the adult (teacher, coach, parent, relative) swoops in to help without encouraging the child to do the steps with them there). Back to contents 2

4. Great books about Executive Functioning: Smart but Scattered, by Richard Guare and Peg Dawson Back to contents 3

Disorganization (Part of Executive Functioning: planning, organizing, carrying out each step) Characteristics: 1. Difficulty planning projects 2. Student has trouble allocating how much time a task will take; pace compromises results 3. Student has trouble getting started on tasks and remembering directions 4. Hesitation initiating activities or tasks 5. Retaining information while doing something with it (i.e. remembering a phone number while dialing). Strategies: 1. Find their dominant learning style and teach to their strengths 2. Use digital tools (watches with vibrating alarms to go off when they should check tasks). The Vibralite mini works well. Sold on Amazon, easy for kids 6+ to operate. 3. Make multiple copies of the same schedule and put them in numerous spots for the student s accessibility: inside their binder, locker, bedroom, on the refrigerator or work space at home 4. Make a graphic organizer checklist of steps to start written work: take out a pencil, write name and date on top, read directions, circle words that you don t understand, raise your hand if you are stuck. 5. Color code folders, containers, etc. that apply to certain subjects or personal items. 6. Plan time for transitions. If you know that the student has difficulty getting their materials together before the next class, put another graphic organizer in the locker with the subject and materials they should always take to class. Back to contents 4

Executive Functioning Executive functioning issues aren t uncommon, and there are many ways to help your child! Back to contents 5

Executive Functioning Skills Develop in the early years, through teen years until about the age of 25! Can be supported at school as needed - tiered levels of support and/or ILP s. By taking steps to support her while she s young, you can watch her blossom and learn how to reach her full potential. Back to contents 6

What are the symptoms of executive functioning issues? Executive functioning issues can produce a wide range of signs. You might see the following signs: Finds it hard to figure out how to get started on a task Can focus on small details or the overall picture, but not both at the same time Has trouble figuring out how much time a task requires Does things either quickly and messily or slowly and incompletely Finds it hard to incorporate feedback into work or an activity Back to contents 7

What are the symptoms of executive functioning issues? Sticks with a plan, even when it s clear that the plan isn t working Has trouble paying attention and is easily distracted Loses a train of thought when interrupted Needs to be told the directions many times Has trouble making decisions Has a tough time switching gears from one activity to another Doesn t always have the words to explain something in detail Needs help processing what something feels/sounds/looks like Isn t able to think about or do more than one thing at a time Remembers information better using cues, abbreviations or acronyms Back to contents 8

Positive Pushing (positive and encouraging) Raising and Nurturing an Independent Child - Motivate your child into action. Encourage growth in your child. Independence is not something that your child can gain on her own. She has neither the perspective nor the experience to develop independence separately from you. Rather it is a gift you give your child that she will cherish and benefit from her entire life. Back to contents 9

Tools to Success Model strategies Teach, guide, and coach Manage in the right areas: instilling values your child s environment setting boundaries attaching consequences to behavior Back to contents 10

Independence + Success = Happiness Dependence + Micromanaging = A Contingent Child Development of a contingent child begins when parents take on the responsibilities of their child. You may do this because you have: A belief that your child is unwilling to assume responsibilities himself. A lack of trust that she won t fulfill her own responsibilities. A desire to ensure your child succeeds. Back to contents 11

Essential Ingredients for Gaining Independence 1. SELF-ESTEEM - developed from receiving appropriate LOVE and RESPECT, ENCOURAGEMENT, and SUPPORT - a strong sense of security allows for exploration and risk-taking. 2. Show CONFIDENCE in your CHILD s CAPABILITIES - she will internalize this faith and develop an enduring sense of competence for herself. Back to contents 12

Push your child to go beyond what they believe are their limits! 3. Show her what her RESPONSIBILITIES are, that she must accept these and have a sense of OWNERSHIP and then hold her ACCOUNTABLE for her ACHIEVEMENT EFFORTS. Provide: BOUNDARIES, EXPECTATIONS, & CONSEQUENCES. As your child grows, the role changes to increasingly placing onus on her shoulders...gradual release of responsibilities over to the child. Back to contents 13

Accountability *DO facilitate your child s accountability for her successes and failures by actively pointing out the connection between her actions and their outcomes. *DO soothe your child s negative emotions by showing her how to produce a different, more positive outcome in the future. Back to contents 14

RESOURCES *Home/School Partnership *Websites: www.understood.org *Positive Pushing and other books *Community Event - April 21 Back to contents 15

TO SOFTEN THE BLOW: TOP 10 BAD THINGS TO EXPECT WHILE RAISING A HUMAN BEING Back to contents 16

10. A MISSED ASSIGNMENT Back to contents 17

9. A LATE ASSIGNMENT Back to contents 18

8. GENERAL MESSINESS Back to contents 19

7. A SOCIAL DRAMA Back to contents 20

6. SMALL UNTRUTHS Back to contents 21

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Back to contents 4. A WALL 23

Back to contents 3. AVOIDANCE 24

Back to contents 2. A NEED FOR SUPPORT 25

1. CRAZY TOWN Back to contents 26

TOP FIVE ACTS THAT WILL NOT HELP YOUR KID Back to contents 27

5. IMMEDIATE HOMEWORK TALK Back to contents 28

4. HELP Back to contents 29

3. RANDOMLY GO OUT Back to contents 30

2.5. ASSUME SAME-SAME Back to contents 31

2. GET DEFENSIVE Back to contents 32

1. SWOOP IN Back to contents 33

TOP FIVE WAYS TO HELP YOUR KID AT HOME Back to contents 34

5. LABEL Back to contents 35

4. STRATEGIZE Back to contents 36

3. FAMILY VISUAL Back to contents 37

2. COMMUNICATE Back to contents 38

1. CHOICES Back to contents 39

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Recommended Books Positive Pushing: How to Raise a Successful and Happy Child Jim Tayler, PhD Positive Pushing gives parents clear and balanced instruction on how to encourage children just enough to produce a happy, successful, satisfied achiever. Taylor, an experienced achievement consultant, believes that, pushed properly, children will grow into adults ready to tackle life s many challenges. Using his three-pillared approach, Taylor focuses on self-esteem, ownership, and emotional mastery, and maintains that pushing, rather than being a means of control, is both a source of motivation and a catalyst for growth that can instill important values in children s lives. He teaches parents how to temper their own expectations to suit their children s emotional, intellectual, and physical development, and identifies common red flags that indicate when a child is being pushed too hard or not enough. Whether a child s potential for achievement lies in academics, the arts, sports, or other areas, Dr. Taylor s insight and guidance will push parents, teachers, and coaches to nurture children into successful and happy adults. YouTube Positive Pushing presentation Smart but Scattered: The Revolutionary Executive Skills Approach to Helping Kids Reach Their Potential There s nothing more frustrating than watching your bright, talented son or daughter struggle with everyday tasks like finishing homework, putting away toys, or following instructions at school. Your smart but scattered child might also have trouble coping with disappointment or managing anger. Drs. Peg Dawson and Richard Guare have great news: there s a lot you can do to help. The latest research in child development shows that many kids who have the brain and heart to succeed lack or lag behind in crucial executive skills --the fundamental habits of mind required for getting organized, staying focused, and controlling impulses and emotions. Learn easy-to-follow steps to identify your child s strengths and weaknesses, use activities and techniques proven to boost specific skills, and problem-solve daily routines. Executive Skills in Children and Adolescents, Second Edition: A Practical Guide to Assessment and Intervention (The Guilford Practical Intervention in the Schools Series) Concise and practitioner friendly, this bestselling guide has helped put executive skills on the map for school-based clinicians and educators. The book explains how these critical cognitive processes develop and why they play such a key role in children s behavior and school performance. Provided are step-by-step guidelines and many practical tools to promote executive skill development by implementing environmental modifications, individualized instruction, coaching, and whole-class interventions. Back to contents 63

Masterminds and Wingmen: Helping our Boys cope with Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends, and the New Rules of Boy World Rosalind Wiseman (author of Queen Bees & Wannabes) Why do they act that way?: A Survival Guide to the Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen David Walsh and Nat Bennett Raising Resilient Children and Nurturing Resilience in Our Children Sam Goldstein and Robert Brooks Getting to Calm: Cool-Headed Strategies for Parenting Tweens + Teens Laura Kastner and Jennifer Wyatt Yardsticks: Children in the Classroom Ages 4 14 Chip Wood The Self-Esteem Trap: Raising Confident and Compassionate Kids In An Age of Self-Importance Polly Young-Eisendrath The Pressured Child: Helping Your Child Find Success in School and Life Theresa Barker, co-author of the New York Times bestseller Raising Cain Brains That Work a Little Bit Differently: Discoveries About Common Brain Diversities (Left-handedness, Dyslexia, Perfect Pitch, Autism, etc.) Allen D. Bragdon and David Gamon Raising A Self-Disciplined Child: Help Your Child Become More Responsible, Confident, and Resilient Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein The Dominance Factor: How Knowing Your Dominant Eye, Ear, Hand, Brain, and Foot Can Improve Your Learning Carla Hannaford Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping! Edward M. Hallowell Why Do They Act This Way? David Walsh Mindset Carol Dweck Late, Lost, and Unprepared Joyce Cooper-Kahn Back to contents 64