Podejście i techniki w tłumaczeniach wybranych wierszy ks. Jana Twardowskiego

Transcription

1 Artykuł pobrano ze strony eioba.pl Podejście i techniki w tłumaczeniach wybranych wierszy ks. Jana Twardowskiego Andrzej Otto Translation approaches and techniques used by translators of selected poems by Father Jan Twardowski "Poetry is what is lost in translation." Robert Frost "Poetry cannot be translated; and, therefore, it is the poets that preserve the languages." Samuel Johnson The above quotations, although they sound rather categorical, skilfully reveal the crucial problems of translating poetry. The problems start with the trouble that concerns each kind of translation: words don't have literal equivalents in different languages (Bennett, 2002). However, poetry, unlike other literary works, contains not only words, but also a metrical pattern. Yet translating both words and metre does not seem to be the most difficult job to do. The greatest difficulties result from the nature of poetry. Following Christopher Caudwell, Bennett (2002) remarks: while the qualities of great novels can survive translation, those of poetry cannot. This is because each poem contains not only words, arranged according to a specific metre, but also its own melody, a particular way of seeing and interpreting the world, and a unique set of metaphors. These are represented by speech sounds that can never be the same after the process of translation. Therefore each translated poem is merely a proposal of a work that could be done, regardless of the fact that many poetic translations may represent great literary value in themselves. Translating poetry is an art then, it is the art of revelation. It makes the unknown known. The translator artist has the fever and craft to recognize, recreate, and reveal the work of the other artist. But even when famous at home, the work comes into an alien city as an orphan with no past to its readers. (Barnstone, 1993, p. 265) Since translating poetry is an art, it would be difficult to create strict rules for translators of poets to follow, because questions of art, by definition, are subjective, relative, and personal. However many authors try to give some hints on this subject (cf. Liddy, 2000). Zdanys (1982), shunning the framing of a theory, which seeks a correct vision of what a poetic translation can and should be, proposes a kind of summary of the process of translating poetry. Namely: (1) the translator has to make a poem that, in spite of being a translation, functions well in the new language environment. (2) To accomplish this, the translator, searches for literal equivalents or "affective equivalents" that will make the poem sound as if it is not a translation. (3) All changes must be motivated. (4) The translator s voice in the process of translation is as important as the voice of the original author.

2 Nord (2001) places the same demands on literary translators, adding that the translation should reproduce the literary structure of the original. However, the most outstanding translators of poetry admit that they do not have a translation theory of their own (cf. Heaney, 1999). Thus the best thing a theory of translation can do is to deal with the phenomenon of translating poetry in a descriptive way. Holmes (as cited in Munday, 2001, p.10) placed this kind of research under the heading pure on his map of translation studies. According to Watts and his students (Watts, 2000) there are four types of poetry translation: 1) A literal translation is a word for word translation of the poem that does not necessarily retain the original rhythm and mood. 2) An approximation remains more faithful to the original structure of the poem, while losing some of its meaning. 3) A poetic adaptation is even further removed from the original meaning and structure. 4) An imitation is not really a translation at all, but uses the original poem as an inspiration for a new poem. Using this perspective, let us see now which approaches and techniques were used by the translators of two poems by Father Jan Twardowski, one of the greatest contemporary Polish poets, who died on 18 th January His extremely popular work deals mostly with religious themes. But the poems make sacred the secular and ordinary, praising and adoring existence. Probably the most famous poem by Father Jan Twardowski is Śpieszmy się translated by Maya Peretz, who entitled it as Love Now. The translation can be classified as an approximation, since the translator tries to preserve the original poem s structure, losing some of its literal meaning. There are four stanzas both in the original poem and its translation. The number of lines in each stanza of the translated poem corresponds to the number of lines in each stanza of the original and there are respectively: seven lines, nine lines, two lines and four lines. However the number of syllables in each line of the corresponding texts is only occasionally the same. The original poem usually has thirteen syllables in each verse, while the translation has eleven. Since there are no rhymes in the original poem, the translator can more easily stick to a literal translation in many cases, trying to imitate the rhythm of the original, using however, a shorter syllable pattern. In some cases the translator tries to cover the general meaning, implementing translation shifts (cf. Munday, 2001). In the case of the title, the translator used modulation. Thus Śpieszmy się (kochać) [Let Us Hurry (to love)] turns into Love now. In the short poem Taki mały (So Little) translated by Anna Mioduchowska and Myrna Garanis, again the title has not been translated literally but conveys the general message of the piece of poetry and reads Unashamed. This time the shift can be classified as adaptation (Munday, 2001). There are five lines both in the original and the translation. In the first lines there are respectively five and five syllables. In the second ones: six and five, in the third: six and five, in the fourth: seven and six, and in the last lines: six and five. Thus generally the English rhythm pattern is shorter than the original Polish one. There is also a rhyme pattern: ABCDC that the translators managed to preserve. Segmentation of the poem Taki mały into units of translation

3 ST (Polish) TT (English) Taki Mały 1 Unashamed Grudzień 2 December choinka 3 the tree osioł 4 the donkey zaszczycony 5 honored wół 6 ox zarozumiały 7 bursting with pride tylko 8 only Bóg 9 God się nie wstydzi 10 unashamed że jest 11 of being taki mały 12 a child 1. Adaptation the title has been changed and refers to the fourth line of the poem describing the God that is unashamed of being a child, unlike the original title that refers to the last line of the poem and emphasises the tiny size of newborn Jesus Taki mały (So Little) Modulation with addition of the article the. 4. Literal translation with addition of the article the Equivalence: adjective phrasal expression Transposition: verbal expression adjective. 11. Transposition: verbal expression Genitive + Gerund 12. Modulation: abstract concrete

4 Bibliography: Books Munday, J. (2001). Introducing Translation Studies: Theories and Applications. London: Routledge Nord, C. (2001). Translating as a Purposeful Activity. Functionalist Approaches Explained. Manchester, UK & Northampton MA: St. Jerome Publishing Twardowski, J. (2001). Kiedy mówisz. When You Say. Kraków: Wydawnictwo Literackie Internet sources Bennett, E. (2000). Translating poetry. Translatum Journal. Retrieved March 23, 2004: Barnstone, W. (1993). An ABC of Translating Poetry. The Poetics of Translation: History, Theory, Practice. Yale University Press, pp Retrieved March 23, 2004: Heaney, S. & Hass, R. (1999). Sounding Lines: The Art of Translating Poetry. Doreen B. Townsend Center for the Humanities. Occasional Papers. Berkley: University of California. Retrieved March 23, 2004: Liddy, J. (2002). Five Tips on Translating Poetry. Writing-World. Retrieved March 23, 2004: Zdanys, J. (1982). Some Thoughts on Translating Poetry. Litanus. Lithuanian Quarterly Journal of Arts and Sciences. Volume 28, No. 4 - Winter Yale University. Retrieved March 23, 2004: Lal, P. & Zarbalian, G. (2000). Translating Poetry. The Translator's Resource Homepage. Tulane University. Retrieved March 23, 2004:

5 Annex - quoted poems: ŚPIESZMY SIĘ Annie Kamieńskiej Śpieszmy się kochać ludzi tak szybko odchodzą zostaną po nich buty i telefon głuchy tylko to co nieważne jak krowa się wlecze najważniejsze tak prędkie że nagle się staje potem cisza normalna więc całkiem nieznośna jak czystość urodzona najprościej z rozpaczy kiedy myślimy o kimś zostając bez niego Nie bądź pewny że czas masz bo pewność niepewna zabiera nam wrażliwość tak jak każde szczęście przychodzi jednocześnie jak patos i humor jak dwie namiętności wciąż słabsze od jednej tak szybko stąd odchodzą jak drozd milkną w lipcu jak dźwięk trochę niezgrabny lub jak suchy ukłon żeby widzieć naprawdę zamykają oczy chociaż większym ryzykiem rodzić się niż umrzeć kochamy wciąż za mało i stale za późno Nie pisz o tym zbyt często lecz pisz raz na zawsze a będziesz tak jak delfin łagodny i mocny Śpieszmy sie kochać ludzi tak szybko odchodzą i ci co nie odchodzą nie zawsze powrócą i nigdy nie wiadomo mówiąc o miłości czy pierwsza jest ostatnią czy ostatnia pierwszą

6 LOVE NOW For Anna Kamieńska Let us love people now they leave us so fast the shoes remain empty and the phone rings on what's unimportant drags on like a cow the meaningful sudden takes us by surprise the silence that follows so normal it's hideous like chastity born most simply from despair when we think of someone who's been taken from us Don't be sure you have time for there's no assurance as all good fortune security deadens the senses it comes simultaneously like pathos and humor like two passions not as strong as one they leave fast grow silent like a thrush in July like a sound somewhat clumsy or a polite bow to truly see they close their eyes though to be born is more of a risk than to die we love still too little and always too late Don't write of it too often but write once and for all and you'll become like dolphins both gentle and strong Let us love people now they leave us so fast and the ones who don't leave won't always return and you never know while speaking of love if the first one is last or the last one first

7 Translated by Maya Peretz TAKI MAŁY Grudzień choinka osioł zaszczycony wół zarozumiały tylko Bóg sie nie wstydzi że jest taki mały UNASHAMED December the tree the donkey honored ox bursting with pride only God unashamed of being a child Translated by Anna Mioduchowska and Myrna Garanis Autor: ottoand Artykuł pobrano ze strony eioba.pl