RessurectionInsurance

Transcription

1 The Rock The Rock is a Youth Ministry of Ascension Lutheran Church RessurectionInsurance Setting: Sam Annee Michaela Josie This is a parody of the Progressive Insurance TV commercials with saleswoman Flo. It is set in a dream format. A couple, Adam & Eva, take their seat in the congregation (actually facing congregation). They are preparing to take part in the Sunrise Service, but fall asleep only to experience a dream similar to a Progressive Insurance commercial. Flow and Ebb (intern to Flo) start off stage. (Looks at watch and wipes brow.) We made it, just in time forthe sunrise service! You ll go to any length to get a coveted parking place. Nonsense, the parking situation never entered my mind. It s the first thing you mentioned this morning. You really are sleepy, aren t you? Yes, but if Jesus could rise from the dead for us on Easter Sunday, the least we could do was rise from our slumber for him. Page David Skarshaug ( Conditions for use: (1) If you use all or parts of this script in any form, please consider sending a suggested $25 donation check made out to The ROCK to the following address: Ascension Lutheran Church, 2400 Bloomington Road, Ames, IA Reference the script title in the memo on the check. (2) Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. (3) You may reproduce this script for internal use, but all copies must contain this copyright statement.

2 You just didn t want to be late for the breakfast again, and miss out on Brigitte s German Chocolate Easter Bunnies. Hmm, authentic German Chocolate, with coconut. Wait, I don t recall chocolate bunnies from last year I just wanted to see if you were really awake. Well I am. And this year this year I m gonna stay awake through the whole thing. You ll see. Whole thing? Yeah right. What? The greeting? The announcments? You ll be sawing logs like the disciples in the Garden. Stay awake? I doubt it. Eva, you ve got that whole doubting Thomas impersonation down pat. How bout a little encouragement? I did encourage you. I encouraged you to sit in the back where they won t hear your snoring. What more do you want? A gentle elbow in the ribs? That won t be necessary. I came prepared. Okay, Mr. Eagle Scout. What s your plan? 5-Hour Energy, check. New pack of Lifesavers in my pocket: check. Sitting in front of that kid that always kicks my chair. Tim Kruger? That s the one, check. Got the alarm on my phone set to vibrate every 5 minutes: check. Sitting on an uncushioned chair: check. And if all else fails, I ve trained that crazy robin what s his name? Oh, Roger? Yeah, that s it. Roger the Robin will tap on the window every few minutes to keep me awake. Page 2

3 And it s a youth service, so it ll be loud songs and fast skits. Yeah, that Sam Kruger kid he s a stitch. I m kind of partial to that Annee Wengert. She s a real sweetheart! (Ebb walks by with 5 Minutes Later sign. Both Adam & Eva are asleep.) (Grabs Adam s shoulder and shouts.) Hi, welcome to resurrection.com insurance! How can I help you? Ah say, you re that crazy lady from those TV commercials Just call me Flo. (Points to badge.) You know, it sounds better than That crazy lady. (Points to Ebb). Who s this with you. Oh, meet my trainee, Ebb. Ebb? Ebb and Flo? Don t blame me, it s your dream. (Looking around the room.) So why isn t everything white, like in the commercials? Well, the youth group showed up Saturday with a bunch of buckets of white paint But the Decorating Police intercepted them at the sanctuary door and put a kibosh on the whole thing. Ah I understand. You do? (Sheepishly.) Not really. You should it s your dream. Page 3

4 Page 4 (Wakes up and looks at Ebb & Flo.) Hey, what are they doing in your dream? (Looks at Eva.) Never mind them. What are you doing in my dream? (Arms crossed.) Last I check, we re married. Remember girl of your dreams? Oh yeah awkward. (Flow makes awkward hand sign.) You, Adam, need life insurance (looks at Eva) the sooner the better. Hmm, well I, a O come now, that s why you came here, right? No we came to church. Exactly! (Makes crazy excited motions.) Say, you don t sell life insurance on TV. No, only in dreams, and the Church How s that work? Sorry trade secret. (Pause and smile at audience.) Just kidding. You see, resurrection.com specializes in life insurance. You do? Oh sure, that s what Easter Sunday is all about. Jesus said, I am the way and the truth and the life No one comes unto the father except through me. (To Ebb.) Very good, my young padawon learner! (Ebb & Flo hand bump.) And our favorite Jesus quote I am the resurrection and the life.

5 Of course, the grave couldn t hold Jesus. Because he rose from the dead, those who believe in him will experience resurrection as well And eternal life. As John said, God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Bingo! (Crazy excited hand motions.) It all flows doesn t it? (Smiles and points to her name badge.) So that s it, then? No, there s more! We have another way of helping save you You mean Helping us save? Did I say that? (Mischieveous smile at congregation.) Bundling! Bundling? Adam, she wants us to bundle the life insurance with something like auto or boat insurance too. Boat and life. Interesting. Did Noah send you? Noah? Adam, you re stammering again. Now I won t take no-ah for an answer. Actually, the preferred bundle is life and home insurance. Home insurance? Eternal home insurance. (Makes excited gesture with hands.) After all, Jesus said I am going there to prepare a place for you.i will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am Page 5

6 So we have life and home insurance Everlasting Life and Eternal Home. They go together.. Like peanut butter and jelly? Like Unicorns and Glitter! Like Twito and Undercroft! It s a sale then! (All parties shake hands.) Follow me to the checkout register! (All three exit the stage.) Optional Reprise of Skit at the end of the service follows: Setting: All: Like start of skit, Adam & Eva sitting on chairs on stage, awaking as if they ve slept through the entire service. (Elbows Adam to awaken him.) So what do you have to say for yourself. (Sam Stands to give the blessing). Go now and serve the risen Lord. He is risen. He is risen indeed. Thanks be to God, Amen. Page 6