Strategic Questioning Asking the Right Question, in the Right Way, at the Right Time to the Right Person

Transcription

1 Strategic Questioning Asking the Right Question, in the Right Way, at the Right Time to the Right Person October 1, BCCAT Educational Conference River Rock Casino Richmond BC Presenter: Nina Meierding MS, JD Negotiation and Mediation Training Services Bainbridge Island, Washington

2 Definitions Macro and Micro Questions Macro questions Overarching General Broad How has this accident impacted your life? Micro questions Specific Narrow Focused Where were you injured? Manageable Questions and Unmanageable Questions Manageable Questions Prepares the listener to answer Prepares the listener for further questions Usually easy to get agreement or a positive answer Is it your goal to have a durable agreement? Unmanageable Questions Cause difficulty Create resistance, defensiveness and/or anger Don t you think we have talked about this enough? Why are you so resistant to the settlement? Notes: Copyright: Chip Rose, Mediation Center and Nina Meierding, Negotiation and Mediation Training 2010, all rights reserved 1

3 What We Say Open-ended questions What is the goal? Establish rapport between the parties or with the mediator? Share information between the parties? Provide information to the mediator? Provide opportunity for expansive answers by a reluctant party? Give floor time to a party who has been overpowered by an aggressive party? Change the tempo of the conversation? How is it phrased? Frame a question so that a narrative answer is called for rather than a simple "yes" or "no." Mediator/Negotiator: "How this situation impacted your life? Closed-ended questions What is the goal? Anticipation of a specific answer? Confirming knowledge? Reality testing? Changing tempo of the conversation? Directing the course of the conversation? Gain commitment by a party? How is it phrased? Framed in a specific and narrow way, so that the answer is short or requires a yes or no response. Mediator/Negotiator: What is your date of the incident? Was someone else present? Have you filed a formal action? 2

4 Elaboration questions What is the goal? Confirm that both parties have the same information? Provide new information to the mediator? Serve as a reality-testing device for the speaking or listening party? Serve as a follow-up question? Give floor time to a party? How is it phrased? Framed so that the party expands on previous statement. Party: "I am willing to help her out financially for awhile." Mediator/Negotiator: "Tell me, what does that look like? Clarification questions What is the goal? Verification of information previously shared between the parties? Follow up to previous question? Assessment of level of knowledge of one or both parties? Changing tempo from open-ended questions? Begin the transition from one party to the other party? How is it phrased? Similar to elaboration; however, usually framed to seek more specific clarifying detail as a follow up to a previous statement. Not as narrow as a close ended question. Party: "I will agree to pay for any costs related to medical expenses. Mediator/Negotiator: Which specific bills and what time frame are you committing to? 3

5 Confirmation Questions What is the goal? Summarizes and seeks to confirm mediator s understanding? Links several statements into one confirmation? Seeking commitment by a party? How is it phrased? Framed as to achieve verification of a party s previous statement. Party: I will agree to pay for lost wages. Mediator/Negotiator: "Are you agreeing to pay the $5, of lost wages asked for by George? Reflective, active listening or reframing questions What is the goal? Establish rapport between the parties? Establish rapport with the mediator? Provide validation, recognition or empathy? Reframing for the listening party? Detoxifying a statement? Summarizing or paraphrasing a party s statements? How is it phrased? Framed so that the party feels heard and validated. Party: My employer has known me for over ten years, I can t believe he would need this agreement in writing! Mediator/Negotiator: "You are angry because you believe there is a lack of trust?" 4

6 Confrontational Questions What is the goal? Utilize reality testing if a party has discrepancies, distortions, or unrealistic expectations in their statements? Provide a power balance between the parties? How is it phrased? Framed to question possible validity, veracity, or appropriateness of party s previous statement. Employee: My boss had no reason to fire me. What I do during my break time is entirely up to me. Mediator/Negotiator: "But weren t you aware that there is company policy not to smoke in the building? Hypothetical questions What is the goal? Provide options to parties? Break impasse? Create brainstorming environment? Encourage party participation? Provide reality testing? Move from the communication stage to the negotiation and problem solving stage? How is it phrased? Framed to provide ideas to parties Lead in phrases to Have you thought about..? Mediator/Negotiator: Why don t I toss out several different ideas in no particular order. Have you thought about..? Here is an option that has worked for other people. Have you thought about? Here is an option that I think might work for you.. (Notice different levels of validation by the mediator/negotiator in each of the above statements. Be aware of how much of your own preferences are impacting your statements.) 5

7 Leading Questions What is the goal? Provide reality testing? Influencing the outcome by suggesting possible answer? Break impasse? Provide power balancing? How is it phrased? Framed by the mediator to achieve a desired response from a party. Mediator/Negotiator: When you cancel his health insurance, do you intend to provide reasonable notice so that he can obtain new insurance without a lapse in coverage? Copyright: Nina Meierding, Negotiation and Mediation Training, 2012, all rights reserved. 6

8 Drop Dead Questions Developed by Nina Meierding and Chip Rose These questions were developed as a set of fall back questions to be used when parties are at impasse, are highly emotional, are contemplating leaving negotiation, or seem to be stalled in the process. 1. What do you think would be the most effective thing that we could do now? (or do next?) 2. What do you see are your choices or options? 3. How to you see that statement (or position, characterization, accusation) moves you closer to your goals? 4. What do you see as the consequences of that option? 5. What needs to change it order for you to feel comfortable moving forward? Copyright: Chip Rose, Mediation Center, and Nina Meierding, Negotiation and Mediation Training 2010, all rights reserved How We Say It 7

9 Words (content) Tone and Inflection (pitch, pacing, speed, directness/indirectness) Body Language (mirroring or disengaging) Who Says It and Who Receives It Watch for reactive devaluation the tendency for a person to dismiss or devalue the content of the message based on their negative feelings about the person delivering the question/message. Watch for filtering The intended message may not be the received message. People hear what they want to hear, they need to hear or what they fear to hear. Watch for ownership - If there is more than one listener, does one person feel singled out if the question is directed to them? Does the other person feel left out if the question was not directed to them? Conclusion There is both an art and a science in asking questions. Questions have great power to change a process and an outcome. Be mindful, be strategic, be patient, and be consciously competent in what you do. Copyright: Nina Meierding, Negotiation and Mediation Training, 2012, all rights reserved. 8