Personalized Safety Plan Relationship Violence

Transcription

1 Personalized Safety Plan Relationship Violence The following steps represent my plan for increasing my safety, especially in case there is future violence. Although I do not have control over my partner s violent behavior, I can choose how to respond to it. I can take action to help keep myself (& children, pets, and property) safe. I will use my intuition and my own judgment. If the situation is serious, I can give the abuser what they want in order to calm them down. Protecting myself until I/we are out of danger is my main priority. First, I am my own best resource. I am familiar with the abuser and can begin noticing if there are any patterns or behaviors that tell me a violent incident is likely. I know my own schedule and patterns and can adjust them in some ways. I can begin to think about escape routes, people that might be able to help, and things to take with me if I decide to leave the relationship. Second, this is an ongoing process. I can work on these steps as I am able. Some may not apply to me. Others may need to be updated as my situation changes in the future. I can begin working on these steps, even if I do not think there will be a next time. Safety During a Violent Incident: If I decide to leave during the violence, I will use (what doors, windows, elevators, stairwells, or fire escapes would you use?) Notes about my route(s): I can keep my purse and keys ready, and keep them where I can get them quickly. If I have to leave, the first place I will go to is. (Think of police or fire stations, public places, a friend or neighbor, a campus office, etc. Also, consider choosing a location near home, one near school, and one near work.) Which room(s) can I move to that are lower risk? (If possible, move to a room with an outside door. Try to avoid arguments in the bathroom, garage, kitchen, or other areas where there are items that can be used as weapons.) I can teach my children how to use the telephone, and contact police or fire department, by calling 911. I will use as my code with my roommate, family, and friends so they know to call for help. I can teach my children a safe place to go in an emergency, such as a neighbor s or police/fire dept.: I can tell (a neighbor, friend, relative) about what is happening. Location: Location(s): Best room location(s): Word or Phrase: Location: Name(s) and phone/

2 Staying Safe on Campus and in the Dorms: I can tell these people (roommates, classmates, Name(s) and Phone # s/ address(es): friends) about what is going on in my relationship. If my roommate is gone and I feel unsafe, I can ask to stay with me (friend, family member) The safest ways to leave my building in an emergency are: Name(s) and Phone # s/ address(es): Note the route(s) here: If I have to leave my building in an emergency, I can go to a public place that is safe and unknown to my abuser. I will use a code word/phrase to alert my roommates, family, friends, or neighbors to call for help without my abuser knowing about it. I have learned where the safety phones are along my route to class, bus/train stop, and the parking area. I will use Auraria Police (APD), Campus Conduct, or NightRider for escort services if I feel unsafe or know my abuser is in the area. If I need to rearrange my schedule or move in order to feel safe and avoid my abuser, I can talk to (Resident Advisor, Phoenix Center at Auraria, Counselor, etc.): I will go here first: Or here: My code word/phrase is: Contact Info: Contact Info: What do I want to have with me if I need to leave quickly (either in the midst of an argument or permanently)? Knowing that you have a bag ready can make it easier to leave whether you think you will ever need it or not. Keys Cash/Checkbook Copies of Driver s License/Registration Immigration papers/visa/green Card Copy of Protection Order (if applicable) List of important phone numbers (in case cell phone is lost/damaged) Phone charger Birth certificate, social security card, passport (copies if original not available) Medications/glasses/contacts & solutions Insurance card If I have children, I can include school documents, vaccination records, birth certificates, medications, formula, diapers, toys, etc. that they may need Change of clothes Other valuable pictures, jewelry, school books, etc.

3 Safety when preparing to leave. Remember to guard your plans about leaving very carefully so your abuser does not find them. Sometimes your abuser will become more violent after you leave being extra careful during this time can increase your safety. Trust your intuition. If you feel your life is in danger, it is important to leave --whether you have made plans or not. If the violence starts to escalate I can trust my intuition and know when to leave, whether I am A way that I can remind myself to trust my intuition: prepared or not, or whether it makes sense or not If I have left, and don t know what to do next, I can Name(s) and contact info: call from a safe phone to make arrangements (think of a 24-hour helpline, such as the Phoenix Center at Auraria, SafeHouse Denver, Servicios de la Raza, etc.) I can use a campus/public computer to make arrangements to leave, confirm plans, discuss details, etc. so that my abuser has no way to track/find the information. I can keep change for phone calls and some cash on hand to avoid using my credit/debit card (calls/purchases may be tracked by the abuser, giving away my location). I can start noting my abuser s habits to pick the best time(s) to leave. Best day(s)/time(s): If I need to leave quickly, I have the most important items packed & stored in a safe place I can check with to see if I can stay with them for awhile (friends, classmates, co-workers that are unknown to abuser). I can open a savings account at to increase my independence (consider a bank or credit union other than where the abuser banks). NOTE: Many banks can provide an extra password protection on accounts, so that only the account holder can access the information. If I have a Protection Order, I can make sure that Campus Police and local police have copies of it. If I am unsure of who should have it, I can talk with a Phoenix Center at Auraria advocate. NOTE: If I have a photo of the abuser, I can attach that. If I have any police reports or a protection order, I can contact Project Safeguard about the Address Confidentiality Program to see if it might increase my safety after I leave. If I have children that I will need to remove from school when I leave, I know who to talk to at their school (consider having an alternate contact also). Names & contact info: Bank name, account & contact info: Project Safeguard (or other local ACP coordinator): Name(s) and contact info:

4 Technology/Online Privacy and Safety Done To Do Safety Idea Important Names/Locations/Information I can use a strong password to lock my cell phone Password(s) hints: and computer from unwanted access. On any site, I can avoid giving more information than necessary. Sharing my age, gender, address, employer, and other specific pieces of information can make me more vulnerable to the abuser or other predatory people. If I have profile pages on social media sites, I can set them to be private rather than public, and I can make my profile picture not of my face. I can remind myself to always log out of , social media, and any other apps so that no one else can gain access easily. If the abuser and I share a cell phone account, I can consider getting a separate phone to use so that my calls and location cannot be tracked so easily. (NOTE: It may be worthwhile to use this idea even if the account is not shared, but the abuser has my telephone number). If the abuser has had access to my computer, or if I suspect that that my computer may not be secure, I can have it checked for spyware/tracking software by a reliable provider or replace my computer. If I am thinking about leaving the abusive relationship, I can do all of my online research from a public computer or a friend s computer to make sure the abuser cannot learn about my plans. I can ask my friends to not tag me in photos online, and to let me know if they see strange postings or information connected with my name and accounts online. I can ask my employer, school registrar, and other places to not publish my and/or to change my address to a more secure format that does not include my full name Sites I may be able to remove information from: Where can I check my profile security settings? Cell phone providers to contact: Resources for checking my computer: Public computer access near me (campus computer labs, libraries, etc.): Contact info for: employer, registrar, etc.:

5 Staying Safe Emotionally: Being in an abusive situation is physically and emotionally exhausting. In addition, abusers may have deliberately made you doubt your mental health, intelligence, or ability to make sound decisions. Your emotional health is very important! Finding ways to care for yourself and build support systems are essential. The abuser often makes me feel badly about myself by putting me down, but I know that what they say is wrong because (write down 1 or 2 of your accomplishments, such as completing classes, passing classes, caring for your children, etc.) Statements to counter what the abuser says/said: If I need a reminder that I am a good person and that I can make good decisions, I can call/text/ (Think of friends, classmates, roommates, and co-workers that can offer support. Remember that helplines can also offer support and encouragement) Name(s) & contact info: I can plan at least one activity that I enjoy in order to give myself a break (taking a walk, watching something funny, hanging out with a friend, taking a bubble bath -- also see the list attached for some ideas) When I feel ready, I can think about joining a club or organization such as, on campus or in the community. My top three ideas for relaxation: Groups I might consider: I can check with to find support groups or counseling to help me work through the effects of the abusive situation (Remember that humans were not designed to deal with these situations on their own even a few counseling or support sessions can be helpful). If I need to continue contact with the abuser, I can contact before or after to get support (helpline advocate, friend, roommate, counselor, etc.) Resources for support/counseling: Name(s) & contact info: If I feel overwhelmed, anxious, afraid, or have questions about my options, I can call the Phoenix Center at Auraria Helpline at and speak to an advocate

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