Your Adolescent and You

Transcription

1 Your Adolescent and You Establishing a healthy relationship with your adolescent

2 Carolyn E. Ievers-Landis, PhD Licensed Clinical Psychologist Developmental Behavioral Pediatrics & Psychology University Hospitals Rainbow Babies & Children s Hospital Research has proven that adolescents whose parents set and enforce rules are more likely to make good decisions on everything from regular seat belt use and safe driving, to refraining from drug and alcohol use and delaying sex. The most effective parenting style is an authoritative one meaning that parents should use firm limits, but set them with a great deal of warmth. Involving adolescents in the development of rules and consequences can help them embrace boundaries without feeling overly controlled. Opting for a democratic style when at all possible, and asking adolescents to voice their opinions about parental limits is strongly recommended. However, parents ultimately have the final say and, sometimes, the best you can do is agree to disagree. Adolescents need space to fully develop and continue the process of exploring who they are within a safe zone. Rules and limits set by parents create the boundaries of this safe zone and let adolescents know what is expected of them. A lack of parental limitations is detrimental because adolescent brains are still actively developing, particularly in the areas responsible for such functions as self-control, judgment, emotions and organization.

3 How can parents most effectively set limits for adolescents? One strategy is Picking Your Battles, just as you did when they were in the Terrible Twos. Pick Your Battles by figuring out which rules/limits are negotiable versus non-negotiable. For example, homework has to be done every day, but when it is done may be the source of some discussion with your adolescents. Household chores are a must, but deciding which chores adolescents are typically responsible for may be negotiated with parents; maybe your adolescent does not mind kitchen tasks, but detests cleaning bathrooms. Some limits, such as wearing seat belts in the car, are non-negotiable and are NOT up for discussion. Remember to use warmth and humor when setting limits, often verbally praising your adolescents for good choices they make each day. Finally, provide plenty of physical affection in a manner with which your adolescents are comfortable (i.e., a pat on the back versus a big hug), because every child is different. Rules and limits help adolescents feel safe and secure at a very uncertain time in their lives. They also give adolescents an easy out by giving them someone to blame when faced with an uncomfortable situation and potential bad decision. After all, who can argue with, I can t do that. If my parents find out, they will ground me for the rest of my life!

4 About the Child Development Center The Child Development Center at UH Rainbow Babies & Children s Hospital provides behavioral health services for children and adolescents experiencing anxiety, sleep difficulties, and other behavioral and emotional problems. Whether it is a simple adjustment issue or a complex behavioral problem, our multidisciplinary team of highly qualified, compassionate pediatric specialists has the expertise to help children and their families achieve and sustain healthy, balanced lives. The Child Development Center features: Developmental Behavioral Pediatrics: Evaluation and medical management of developmental behavioral disorders, such as developmental delay, autism spectrum disorders (ASD), ADHD, Down syndrome and other genetic disabilities, and associated behavioral problems. Pediatric Psychology: Psychological evaluation and treatment of behavioral and anxiety-based problems, including feeding problems and emotional issues relating to separation or loss, history of trauma, chronic physical illness and adherence to medical regimens. Cognitivebehavioral strategies, hypnosis and biofeedback may be used to manage sleep disorders, bedwetting, chronic pain, habit problems, pseudo seizures and conversion disorders. Pediatric Neuropsychology: Assessment of children with learning disabilities and school-related problems resulting from ADHD, ASD, head injuries, neurological conditions, genetic disorders, cochlear implants, or cancer and other chronic physical conditions. Comprehensive assessment of the child s neurocognitive, behavioral and learning abilities, including closely working with the child, parents and teachers to establish a plan to address learning needs.

5 Developmental Behavioral Pediatricians Nancy Roizen, MD Division Chief and Child Development Center Director Professor, Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine Denise Bothe, MD Jane Holan, MD Shanna Kralovic, DO Pediatric Psychologists Howard Hall III, PhD, PsyD Associate Professor, Case Western Reserve Rebecca Hazen, PhD

6 Pediatric Psychologists (continued) Carolyn Ievers-Landis, PhD Associate Professor, Case Western Reserve Kristine Rork, PhD Pediatric Neuropsychologists Christine Barry, PhD Associate Professor, Case Western Reserve Susan Bowen, PhD Rachel Tangen, PhD H. Gerry Taylor, PhD Professor, Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine

7 Locations UH Rainbow Babies & Children s Hospital Euclid Avenue Cleveland, OH W.O. Walker Center Euclid Avenue Cleveland, OH UH Landerbrook Health Center 5850 Landerbrook Drive Mayfield Heights, OH UH Westlake Health Center 960 Clague Road Westlake, OH UH Medina Health Center 4001 Carrick Drive Medina, OH UH Twinsburg Health Center 8819 Commons Boulevard Twinsburg, OH For more information, call the Division of Developmental Behavioral Pediatrics & Psychology at To schedule an appointment, call 216-UH4-KIDS ( ) or request an appointment online at RainbowBabies.org.

8 There s only one Rainbow. 216-UH4-KIDS ( ) RainbowBabies.org Facebook.com/UHRainbowBabies Twitter.com/UHRainbowBabies 2012 University Hospitals RBC 00579