The St. Jerome Parish Bereavement Ministry. Scheduling a Funeral at St. Jerome

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1 ADDENDUM F The St. Jerome Parish Bereavement Ministry St. Jerome has established a Bereavement Ministry to aid families in funeral liturgy planning and other aspects concerning the loss of a loved one. Contact the Parish Office at to make your funeral arrangements and you will be connected with a Bereavement Minister who will assist you in all aspects of a Parish Funeral. Members of the St. Jerome Bereavement Ministry: Ron Kienzle (513) Terri Parker (513) Scheduling a Funeral at St. Jerome Steps in Planning a Funeral at our Parish: 1) The family should make the Funeral Director aware that the Funeral for their loved one will be at St Jerome Church. 2) As soon as possible, the Family should contact the Parish Office at to book the church and to see if Father is available to offer the Mass. 3) You will be contacted by a member of the Parish Bereavement Ministry who will be able to assist you in making the necessary arrangements for the funeral of your loved one. 1

2 Scheduling a Time: It is our desire to schedule funerals at the time that is most convenient for the family of the deceased. However, we must also be considerate of the schedule of our Pastor and his availability. We must also consider other parish groups that use our facilities. For Funeral Masses, ordinarily mornings at 10:00 a.m. work best at our parish. Most cemeteries prefer that Saturday burials take place in the morning in order to accommodate their business hours. Father Carl s regular day off is Friday and funerals may not be scheduled on Sundays or on certain holy days. Evening funerals are also possible, except for Monday and Thursday. The Visitation or Wake Service 1) The visitation should be scheduled the day before the funeral or immediately prior to the funeral Mass. With the visitation taking place at the funeral home, the scheduling will be coordinated with their staff. 2) Members of the St. Jerome Bereavement Ministry will lead any prayers during the visitation if the family wishes. The Mass of Christian Burial The Mass is the normal funeral service for baptized Catholics. The Bereavement Ministry will assist the family in planning the readings, 2

3 prayers, and songs for the funeral (see the Outline for the Mass). It is important to remember that during the Mass of Christian Burial, only liturgical (that is, religious) songs should be sung. Other songs are more appropriate for a Wake Service, reception, or other nonliturgical (i.e. other than Mass) prayer services. A Memorial Mass or Prayer Service can also be scheduled at a later date. This is sometimes preferred if there are a number of family members who live out-of-town, or in cases where the body cannot be released (for example, if the person died while serving in the armed forces). It is important to keep in mind whether the deceased was an active Catholic and if the family members and friends who will be present are practicing Catholics. This may help you determine whether to have a Mass or simply have a Memorial Prayer Service. Flowers & Display of Photographs at the Funeral Mass Flowers can be brought to the church for the Funeral Mass and the parish secretary must be contacted between 1:00-5:00pm, Monday- Friday to have the church unlocked at time of delivery. We graciously accept plants and/or flowers that can be used for the following weekend liturgies. The family can have a display of photographs and personal objects at the rear of the church. When the body has been cremated, the family may also display photographs and personal items. The Bereavement Ministry will assist family to prepare a tasteful display in the appropriate area in the church. If the deceased has served in the military, a flag may be draped over the casket prior to the Mass and replaced once the Mass is over and the casket is taken from the church. In the Catholic tradition a white 3

4 pall is placed over the Casket during the mass as a symbol of baptism. A personal Bible can be placed on top of the pall, but other mementos of the deceased person s life may not be placed on the casket during the Mass itself. Fees for Funerals at St. Jerome Offering: The offering for funerals is $ The fee paid to the parish music ministers (one accompanist and one vocalist) is $ If additional musicians/vocalists are requested (in addition to organ), the normal fee for professional musicians is $60.00 each. Checks should be made out to the vocalist and/or organist. Musicians: The Bereavement Minister must be informed if the family of the deceased is not going to use the parish musicians. If a family member or friend is going to be the musician or vocalist for the funeral, the family of the deceased should make arrangements to pay those individuals. Any guest musicians or vocalists are expected to be professionally trained and are expected to be responsible for putting everything back in order after the funeral. Programs: If the family wishes to have a printed program for the Mass of Christian Burial, we will provide an outline of the service so the family can arrange to have programs printed on their own. Parish Reader or Servers Stipend: No stipend is required for our Parish Reader or Servers. Any stipend considered should be strictly on a volunteer basis. Parish Hall: If needed by the family, the parish hall can be used for the reception. There is a $50.00 fee for the maintenance staff for setup, clean-up etc. 4

5 Mass Stipends: It is a long standing tradition in the Catholic Church to remember our deceased loved ones at Masses throughout the year. Mass cards are available at the parish office for this purpose. Please call the parish office at for requests for specific Mass dates. The name of the loved one for whom a specific Mass is said is always listed in the Sunday bulletin. The usual Mass stipend is at least $5.00 and the number of Masses requested should be specifically noted with each donation. OUTLINE FOR THE Mass of Christian Burial PART I ENTRANCE RITES This includes the reception of the body, placing of the white pall, Opening Hymn, and prayers. Greeting/Reception of the Body When the family arrives at the church, the family gathers in the church vestibule behind the casket. The priest and ministers will come to the family to begin the Funeral Liturgy. Sprinkling of Casket with Holy Water & Placing of the White Pall This ritual is a reminder that the person who has died was baptized into Christ. The holy water is a reminder of the baptismal water. The pall is a large white cloth that is draped over the casket and the pall is a reminder of the baptismal garment worn by the deceased at his or her baptism. It is most appropriate for family members to place the white pall on the casket. 5

6 Entrance Procession & Song The family follows the casket to the front of the church. Family members then take their place in the pews and remain standing during the remainder of the Entrance Song. Opening Prayer Read by the Priest PART II LITURGY OF THE WORD We listen to the word of God from scripture and reflect upon it. The selection of readings is included in the back of this booklet. The family is not limited to these selections, but these readings are ones that the Church recommends and are most appropriate for a Funeral Mass. First Reading (From Old Testament) Responsorial Psalm Second Reading Gospel Acclamation Gospel (Sung response lead by the cantor) (From New Testament) (Sung response lead by cantor) (Read by Priest) Homily General Intercessions (Prepared by the family or Bereavement Ministry) 6

7 NOTE: Family members or friends of the deceased may read the first and second reading and the General Intercessions. Readers, however, must be baptized Christians and should have experience reading in public. It is important to keep in mind the emotional status of the person who will be reading. No one should be made to feel embarrassed to read if they are emotionally upset. It is helpful if the readers can be at the church 15 minutes before the funeral in order to receive instructions from the priest or member of the bereavement Committee. If no family members or friends want to read, a member of the Bereavement Committee will proclaim the readings and intercessions. PART III LITURGY OF THE EUCHARIST We respond to God s Word through acclamation, prayer, and Holy Communion Presentation of Gifts During the celebration of the Eucharist, the gifts of bread and wine are carried forward. This is a good way to involve family members. Often young children carry flowers that can be placed in a vase and then set before the altar. This allows them to participate in the service in a very meaningful way. The family members chosen will be instructed as to when and how to present the gifts. Prayer Over the Gifts All are seated a song or hymn can be sung during this time. Eucharistic Prayer This is the central prayer of the Mass all in attendance kneel or are seated. The Lord s Prayer It is a good idea that, at funerals where you often get a mix of faith traditions, the Our Father be recited, not sung. The Sign of Peace 7

8 We greet one another with a sign of love and peace. The Lamb of God A short litany of mercy before communion. Communion A song or hymn will be sung at this time. COMMUNION DISTRIBUTORS: One communion distributor may assist in the distribution of the bread and wine, and must be commissioned as a distributor in a Catholic parish. It is also helpful if they can arrive at the church 15 minutes before the service begins in order to receive instructions from the priest or member of the Bereavement Ministry. If no one in the family wishes to assist in this ministry, a person will be provided by the Bereavement Committee. PART IV CONCLUDING RITES We say farewell to our loved one in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection. Final Commendation & Song of Farewell The final commendation includes the incensing of the casket. The incense shows reverence and respect for our loved one s earthly body. The smoke from the incense rises up toward heaven as a sign that our prayers also rise to God. The musicians will sing the final song of farewell during this time. Recessional Hymn This is the time for one last rousing hymn or song of hope as we go forth. NOTE: It is important to keep in mind that the Rites included in the Mass of Christian Burial are the essential and most significant rituals of the Catholic funeral liturgy. No other rituals 8

9 or actions should be planned to deter from the rituals of the Church. Committal at the Cemetery The priest will usually accompany the family to the cemetery for the Rite of Committal at the grave site. If the deceased is a veteran of the U.S. Armed Forces, the casket is draped with the U.S. flag. It is appropriate for the military to honor veterans at this time. These arrangements should be discussed ahead of time with the Funeral Home Director. If the family wishes to have a Eulogy, it can be given by the Priest at the cemetery site. There are opportunities other that at the Mass when family and friends may pay tribute to the deceased. Often it is more appropriate to have others share their memories in a more relaxed and informal setting, such as, the reception following the burial, the wake, or at other family gatherings. Please have the family discuss their plans with the Bereavement Ministry Team Member who is helping them plan the funeral so that they can inform the Priest who will present the Eulogy at the cemetery site. When the Body has been Cremated or When the Family Requests a Memorial Mass at a Later Time In cases where someone requests cremation; when the body is donated to science; when circumstances prevent the immediate 9

10 burial of the body; or if the family chooses to bury the body and have a service at a later time, several options exist: 1. The cremated remains are brought into the church and set on a table under the Easter Candle before the altar. The Mass takes place as outlined above. 2. In some cases when a person requests cremation, the funeral home will provide a casket that is used only temporarily for the church service or Mass. After the funeral Mass, the body is taken to be cremated. When the ashes are ready to be entombed, the priest can be called for a Rite of Committal Service. 3. In the event that time passes due to a death out of town, or other circumstances, a Memorial Mass can be celebrated without the body present. The same format is used as the Mass of Christian Burial outlined above, but the sprinkling and incensing of casket, of course, are omitted. Prayer Services Without a Mass In certain circumstances, with the approval of the Pastor, a PRAYER SERVICE can be planned that does not include the celebration of the Eucharist. This option is recommended if family members are nonpracticing Catholics or when most of the guests who will attend are not Catholic. The basic outline for the service is as follows: Processional Hymn Greeting Opening Prayer Liturgy of the Word 1 to 3 Scripture Readings; sung psalms can be chosen Homily 10

11 Prayers of the Faithful The Lord s Prayer The Sign of Peace Final Prayer Final Blessing Final Hymn The representative of the Bereavement Committee and the priest who will be the Presider will assist the family in the planning of the service. St. Jerome All Souls Day of Remembrance On the Feast of All Souls (November 2), we honor all the members of St. Jerome who have died during the past year. Members of the Bereavement Committee will take the name and address of immediate family members so that we can send you an invitation to the service. Families always welcome the opportunity we provide to continue to pray for their loved ones who have died. We hope that you will be able to join us for this service. Other Things to Keep in Mind 11

12 Please let the members of our Bereavement Committee know of any special circumstances that the Priest should be aware of during the planning of the service. The Bereavement Minister will have a form to complete with the families assistance to record important information. The Bereavement Minister should ask the family the name the deceased was usually called. We need to have the legal name for our records, but the priest does not want to call a person by a name that no one called the person while they were living. The Bereavement Minister should ask the family to share stories that will help the priest plan a homily that will reflect the uniqueness of that person who has died and will be meaningful to the family. It is also helpful for the priest to know about the faith life of the person who has died. The Bereavement Minister should ask about the person s involvement in his/her parish, stories of his/her spiritual journey, and major events of the person s life that deepened his/her faith. How Else Can We Help? St. Jerome parish is proud of the efforts made by our Bereavement Committee, our Music Ministers and our parish secretary to assist families during this most difficult time. Please let us know if there is anything else we can do to help you as you mourn the loss of your loved one. 12

13 Stages of Loss & Grief Remember, the loss of a significant loved one affects every individual in a unique way. Please let us know if we can help, especially if a widow or widower is advanced in years and unable to get to church, or if there are young children affected in a significant way. We offer one-on-one support or we will gladly refer you to professional services that help families who are coping with the loss of a loved one. 13