Counseling Practice. Week 8. The Process: The Big Picture

Transcription

1 Counseling Practice Week 8 The Process: The Big Picture 703

2 Week 8 Counseling Practice: The Process: The Big Picture The big picture. By this I refer to the general outline of major events that typically occur in a counseling case, from beginning to end. It is essential for the biblical counselor to operate with an understanding of the big picture. He or she should be aware of how the objectives for this week s meeting fit into the larger plan. Having such an awareness helps the counselor to lead effectively. It enables the counselor to handle unexpected events. Seeing the big picture builds skill in being patient, in having a clear direction for each meeting and in keeping the focus of counseling on the final goal. The basis of such a perspective is the clear vision of the desired final result: for the counselee to establish a pattern of living according to the Word of God. Counselees appreciate periodic references to the big picture. Without it, they often wonder, How long will counseling last? What is goal of your counsel? How do you know it s time to stop meeting together? What are we trying to accomplish right now? and Does the counselor have a plan? Sometimes these questions are asked, sometimes not. For counselees, it is helpful to have the big picture explained. At the beginning, they know what is ahead. Along the way, they realize what progress has been made and what will be next. They also appreciate knowing what the ultimate destination is and why it is worth pursuing. When they see the Scriptural source of all these ideas, their commitment to work is a response to God and not the counselor. The Big Picture Establishing the place of God s Word in counseling Gathering Data Analyzing Data 704

3 Communicating pertinent truth from the Word The important decision Permanentizing Change The Big Picture with Details Initial phone call Communicate personal care Exude confidence in God and His Word Gather basic personal/problem information Explain what biblical counseling is Communicate an overview of the big picture Ask if this is the type of counseling they desire 705

4 Gather data What is the problem? What is most difficult about it? What help do they seek? Get a brief history of the problem Ask about their relationship with God How do they think God views this situation? Arrange sending PDI and receiving it back before the first meeting Perhaps send Hope From God s Word or another study pertinent to their problem to help them get started Speak of God s grace and your care for the counselee Begin your topical study of God s Word relative to the main problem and this particular soul Establishing the place of God s Word in counseling Do so by reading and discussing a passage such as 2 Timothy 3:

5 Explain the authority of the Word Talk about the role of God s Word in change Show that this is God s tool to equip them to deal with these problems Ask for their response Do so by giving them a homework assignment which makes the point. See example: God s Word and Counseling (following this outline) Or Essentials of Time in the Word (page of the first semester syllabus) Be sure the study requests them to respond from the heart Do so all through counseling by always using the Bible as your source of truth. Do so by reading passages, not simply summarizing or alluding to them. Do so by having all homework and journals focus on the Word of God. Do so by discipling the counselee, including developing daily personal quality time in the Word. 707

6 Hope Utilize the Hope from God s Word study as a foundation The right view of God The right view of circumstances The right view of the heart attitude to pursue Help the counselee also view other events during counseling with the hope from God s Word Developing confidence that change can occur Viewing difficulty in relation to the Almighty God Relying on God s strength to put off sin and put on righteousness Not giving in to fear or discouragement Believing the truth that long term patterns of sin can be overcome Gathering Data Ask good questions in counseling Have questions planned and written down before each session Carefully consider what information is needed Do not ask questions that can be answered simply, yes or no 708

7 Resource: Introduction to Biblical Counseling, MacArthur and Mack, p / Counseling, MacArthur, p Ask further, more in-depth, questions based on answers to initial questions. Example: First question: What is your biggest fear? Answer: That my wife will become angry. Further questions: What is the most difficult thing for you when she is angry? Typically, why does she become angry? How does she express her anger? What do you do, say and feel when she is angry? Think of a recent time when she became angry. What happened just prior? What did you think? Do? What does the Bible say about what is true for you in such times? How do times of anger end? What do each of you usually day and do afterward? What do you wish was different in your relationship? 709

8 What have you done to help her be sanctified in this area? Use Scripture as a starting point, then ask questions. As a resource, 100 such studies are available for your use (counseling passage studies; Biblical Counseling Ministry) Data to gather: Counselee s response to the specific truths presented Counselee s response to God s Word in general Counselee s level of humility Counselee s understanding of biblical principles Using journals as homework assignment Facilitates interaction with the Word Produces first-hand detailed data on real life events Supplies heart level or decision-making process data from real events 710

9 Creates a step-by-step account of the daily battle in the heart: circumstances, choices, thought process, motive, decision Gives the counselor the best understanding of how the counselee does and does not obey God s Word in real life situations Other data from homework assignments The answers of the counselee The consistency of effort The level of work The attitude toward the work Analyzing data Pray for help Compare with the truth of Scripture Use other Bible-based resources to help evaluate data 711

10 Determine what further data is needed, then plan questions and/or homework to gather that data Come to a conclusion as to what the Bible says the problem is Come to a conclusion as to what the Bible says the solution is Communicating pertinent truth from the Word From the beginning, present relevant ideas from God s Word to the counselee during counseling sessions and in homework After you gather data, analyze the data and come to conclusions concerning the problem and the solution Present Scripture as the basis of your analysis The important decision Show the counselee how the Word addresses the items that require change Communicate clearly the results of data gathering and your studies of the Word to the counselee Formulate a clear, concise summary question to ask the counselee Seek a specific and definite response 712

11 If the response is one of choosing to obey/submit the will to God, ask the counselee to pray and tell this to the Lord. Encourage and rejoice with the counselee Express God s joy and your joy Reiterate hope from God s Word: Change can certainly occur Have a detailed plan for action, including and based on Scripture Give the counselee a summary of the plan for what s ahead Discuss in clear terms what work is to be done this week What if the response is not choosing whole-hearted pursuit of obeying God? Ask further questions to further find out the reasoning and motives behind the decision What does the counselee not want to give up? Do they understand what the Word says about the issue? 713

12 What does the counselee hope will result from this decision? Clearly explain why the decision opposes God With love, plead for reconsideration With strength, exhort your friend to honor God as God If no change occurs, explain the consequences of the decision, to chose against change toward holiness (miss opportunity to glorify God, miss growing in faith as He causes change in you, inviting His discipline, sin against others involved) Plan the next truths of Scripture and method of communication to seek to persuade the counselee Return to the important decision If no change occurs, terminate counseling until counselee s heart turns Permanentizing change in the counselee who has committed themselves to obeying God: Be available; encourage; help the counselee to put the Word into practice Use journals to increase consistency in obeying the Word 714

13 Use homework which will increase understanding of the Word Continue to monitor discipleship items (time in Word, prayer, church involvement) Observe how the counselee deals with other problems After a few weeks of progress, meetings may be reduced to once/month During this time, the purposes include: Giving the counselee space to further strengthen own walk with God Giving the counselee opportunity to rely on God alone to do well Establish habit patterns of obedience to Christ To use the Word on their own to deal with other life issues To permanentize the pattern of being a doer of the Word in the area dealt with in counseling 715

14 Homework Assignment 1 Thessalonians 5.14 gives three categories of counselees and how to counsel them: admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted and help the weak. You have one of each beginning counseling, all in the same week. The first is a sinfully angry woman. She says, I don t really want to be here. I don t think I have a problem. When I yell and throw things at the kids or my husband, they deserve it. I m only here because my husband told me I have to be. The second is a discouraged frail man. I couldn t have made it this far without the help of the Lord. I want to glorify Him more than anything. But I just think I don t have what it takes to keep going right now. I ve failed at another job. My mother thinks I have some physical disorder, though the doctors can t find anything. I m low on energy and hope. The third is a new believer with a habit of stealing. He is weak in knowledge of the Word. He s not sure it is wrong to steal from large companies. He s never spent regular time in the Word, he doesn t know how to start. He thinks the way to change is by personal determination and believing you can do it. Using the six-point outline on the next page, make a preliminary plan of how you would expect the counseling process to transpire for each. Write a one sentence summary for each of the six points for each of the three counselees. 716

15 The Big Picture >>Establishing the place of God s Word in counseling >>Gathering Data >>Analyzing Data >>Communicating pertinent truth from the Word >>The important decision >>Permanentizing change 717