What are they Really Saying? THE SECRETS OF BETTER COMMUNICATION. Julian Talbot Jakeman Business Solutions Canberra 28MAR13
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1 What are they Really Saying? THE SECRETS OF BETTER COMMUNICATION Julian Talbot Jakeman Business Solutions Canberra 28MAR13
2 Welcome
3 The Secrets Which part of the body is the most honest? Why it s so hard for (normal) people to lie What we reveal about moods and motives Behaviours that reveal our true sentiments How to establish trust and/or authority How to improve the quality of your communication
4 Body language common knowledge Body language can be read like an alphabet 7% the words we use 38% tone of voice and inflection 55% importance of body language/face. Crossed arms means someone is defensive Rubbing the nose indicates a lie A liar can't look you in the eye A smile means someone is happy Training makes you a better liar
5 Some stuff is universal
6 Some stuff is universal
7 Some stuff is universal
8
9 Which part of the body is the most honest?
10 Which part of the body is the most honest? A. Eyes B. Face C. Hands D. Feet E. Torso F. Other
11 Why the face is the least likely place to gauge a person's true feelings?
12 Ancient survival instincts drive body language
13 5 Options Fight Flight Freeze Feed Reproduce
14 It s in the programming
15 Neocortex Limbic Reptilian Analysis Logic Emotions Feelings Fight Flight
16
17 Pacifying behaviours
18 How to be a shoplifter or smuggler
19 How to be a shoplifter or smuggler Move your arms Point your feet Breath
20 When a nod means No Or a shake of the head means Yes It s all in the timing
21 Microexpressions Brief, involuntary facial expression reflecting emotions Usually in high-stakes situations, where people have something to lose or gain When consciously trying to conceal all signs of how you are feeling, or when you do not consciously know how you are feeling Very difficult to hide Mostly 7 universal emotions: disgust, anger, fear, sadness, happiness, surprise, contempt 1/25 to 1/15 of a second
22 Microexpressions William Condon pioneered the study of interactions at the fraction-of-a-second level in the 1960 s Scrutinized 4.5 second film for 18 months Each frame was 1/25th second.
23 Microexpressions
24 The most powerful behaviorsthat reveal our confidence and true sentiments Congruence Comfort versus discomfort!
25 Simple nonverbals that instantly establish trust Mirroring Smiling Matching Touch
26 Non-verbals that instantly communicate authority Confidence Territory Thumbs out Chin high
27 Non-verbals that instantly communicate authority
28 Verbal lying Parroting Dodging Guilt tripping Protesting Generalisations and estimations Too little or too much Bolstering You ll never believe this but To tell you the truth, I thought those numbers looked a little off myself.
29 Liespotting... Look for congruence between Words Facial expressions Body language Lying is hard work so liars struggle to keep them all in sync Truth tellers broadcast the same message consistently across all channels
30 How to get the truth out of someone Most people want to tell the truth Establish rapport Find out what is normal for them Talk about the topic in general Ask them why/how they think someone else might have <done X, Y or Z>. Eg: Why do you think a person might have stolen from the organisation? If someone were to defraud the organisation, how do you think they would have done it?
31 Recommended Reading Edward Hall Beyond Culture Hidden Dimension Desmond Morris Manwatching Pamela Meyer Liespotting: Proven Techniques to Detect Deception Richard Hare. PhD Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work (with Paul Babiak) Joe Navarro What Every BODY is Saying. Louder Than Words: Take Your Career from Average to Exceptional with the Hidden Power of Nonverbal Intelligence Paul Ekman Emotions Revealed: Recognizing Faces and Feelings to Improve Communication and Emotional Life Allan and Barbara Pease The Definitive Book of Body Language
32 THANK YOU Julian Talbot Jakeman Business Solutions
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