Objectives WASHINGTON STATE UNIVERSITY 11/4/2015. Interpersonal Communication in the workplace. Page 1. com mu ni ca tion

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1 Interpersonal Communication in the workplace November 2015 Presented by: David Schmidt Human Resource Services Objectives 1) Identify key characteristics of verbal, paraverbal and nonverbal communication. 2) Cite the three criteria of effective communication. 3) Define distinct steps and types of listening. com mu ni ca tion the process of transmitting an idea or information to someone to develop a common understanding of the message Page 1

2 The Communication Process Transmission (The Message) Sender Receiver Feedback (The Reaction) What do you see? Page 2

3 A B A Maluma Tekete B Page 3

4 The Communication Process Transmission (The Message) The Medium (Frame of reference, rules, noise) Sender Receiver Feedback (The Reaction) The Communication Process Transmission (The Message) The Medium (Frame of reference, rules, noise) Sender Cultural factors Personal factors Situational factors Page 4

5 The Communication Process The Medium (Frame of reference, rules, noise) Feedback (The Reaction) Receiver Oral Communication Speech is Interactive Speech is Adaptive Speech has Content and a Relational Dimension We Cannot not Communicate Be Aware of Listener s Vocabulary 1) 2) 3) Page 5

6 The Whole Picture Content Messages Feelings Communication Patterns One-Way: Sent from one source to another without opportunity for feedback Two-Way: Sent by one source to another with immediate opportunity for acknowledgement, response or other feedback. 1) Explore 2) Conduct Business 3) Conclude 4) Tips on Dialogue Basic Principles of Two-Way Dialogue in the Workplace Page 6

7 Basic Principles of Two-Way Dialogue in the Workplace 2) Conduct Business Convey empathy; be a good listener Reduce your defensiveness Acknowledge differences; maximize mutual gains o Use collaboration to reach agreement o Strive for a Win-Win resolution o Allow for saving face Basic Principles of Two-Way Dialogue in the Workplace 3) Conclude Know when to stop! Summarize progress, outcome, and/or agreements Plan for any follow up that may be necessary Basic Principles of Two-Way Dialogue in the Workplace 4) Tips on Dialogue Probe do not cross examine Inquire do not challenge Suggest do not demand Uncover do not trap Draw out do not pump Guide do not dominate Note: be conscious of paraverbal and nonverbal impact Page 7

8 Nonverbal: how we communicate without using words Paraverbal: how we say the words we say Paraverbal how we say the words we say Paraverbal Intonation Pitch Volume Pace Emphasis Word choice Word usage how we say the words we say Page 8

9 Paraverbal Strong, firm voice indicates... confidence and honesty Weak, shaky voice indicates... hesitance, fear, and insecurity Fast speech, rapid pace indicates... anger or excitement how we say the words we say Paraverbal Form Paraverbal Strong, firm voice indicates... confidence and honesty Weak, shaky voice indicates... hesitance, fear, and insecurity Fast speech, rapid pace indicates... anger or excitement how we say the words we say Page 9

10 Paraverbal Included among the most common voice problems are: Breath control Pitch and intonation Articulation Pace how we say the words we say I heard someone say that as much as 70% or 80% - or even 90%!!! of communication is paraverbal or nonverbal. Golly, can this be true?!?! "When there are inconsistencies between attitudes communicated verbally and posturally, the postural component should dominate in determining the total attitude that is inferred. Mehrabian, Albert. (1972). Nonverbal Communication. New Brunswick: Aldine Transaction. Albert Mehrabian 7% = Spoken Words 55% = Body Language 38% = Tone of Voice Page 10

11 Nonverbal Paraverbal Context Environment History Relationships Clusters Prevents us from allowing a single gesture or movement determine a state of mind or emotion. Congruence Do the words being spoken match the tone and the body language? Five Areas of Nonverbal Communication Proxemics (space) Artifactual (image) Eye Contact Tactile (touch) Kinesics (body language) Page 11

12 Proxemics Space and distance influence communication and help to define relationships. Proxemics Public Space (12 +) Social Space (4 12 ) Personal Space (1.5 4 ) Intimate Space (0 1.5 ) Proxemics / Territoriality Page 12

13 Proxemics and Personal Space We all have varying definitions of what our personal space is, and these definitions are contextual and depend on the situation and the relationship. Scholars have identified four zones for US Americans, which are public, social, personal, and intimate distance. We can see how these zones relate to each other and to the individual in image below: Zones of Personal Space Even within a particular zone, interactions may differ depending on whether someone is in the outer or inner part of the zone. Public Space (12 Feet or More) Public and social zones refer to the space four or more feet away from our body, and the communication that typically occurs in these zones is formal and not intimate. Public space starts about twelve feet from a person and extends out from there. This is the least personal of the four zones and would typically be used when a person is engaging in a formal speech and is removed from the audience to allow the audience to see or when a high-profile or powerful person like a celebrity or executive maintains such a distance as a sign of power or for safety and security reasons. Social Space (4 12 Feet) Communication that occurs in the social zone, which is four to twelve feet away from our body, is typically in the context of a professional or casual interaction, but not intimate or public. This distance is preferred in many professional settings because it reduces the suspicion of any impropriety. The expression keep someone at an arm s length means that someone is kept out of the personal space and kept in the social/professional space. It is also possible to have people in the outer portion of our social zone but not feel obligated to interact with them, but when people come much Page 13

14 closer than six feet to us then we often feel obligated to at least acknowledge their presence. In many typically sized classrooms, much of your audience for a speech will actually be in your social zone rather than your public zone, which is actually beneficial because it helps you establish a better connection with them. Personal Space (1.5 4 Feet) Personal and intimate zones refer to the space that starts at our physical body and extends four feet. These zones are reserved for friends, close acquaintances, and significant others. Much of our communication occurs in the personal zone, which is what we typically think of as our personal space bubble and extends from 1.5 feet to 4 feet away from our body. Even though we are getting closer to the physical body of another person, we may use verbal communication at this point to signal that our presence in this zone is friendly and not intimate. Even people who know each other could be uncomfortable spending too much time in this zone unnecessarily. We can easily touch the other person as we talk to them, briefly placing a hand on his or her arm or engaging in other light social touching that facilitates conversation, selfdisclosure, and feelings of closeness. Intimate Space As we breach the invisible line that is 1.5 feet from our body, we enter the intimate zone, which is reserved for only the closest friends, family, and romantic/intimate partners. It is impossible to completely ignore people when they are in this space, even if we are trying to pretend that we re ignoring them. A breach of this space can be comforting in some contexts and annoying or frightening in others. We need regular human contact that isn t just verbal but also physical. Being close to someone and feeling their physical presence can be very comforting when words fail. There are also social norms regarding the amount of this type of closeness that can be displayed in public, as some people get uncomfortable even seeing others interacting in the intimate zone, while some people are comfortable engaging in or watching others engage in PDAs (public displays of affection). Territoriality Territoriality is an innate drive to take up and defend spaces. This drive is shared by many creatures and entities, ranging from packs of animals to individual humans to Page 14

15 nations. Whether it s a gang territory, a neighborhood claimed by a particular salesperson, our preferred place to sit in a restaurant, our usual desk in the classroom, or the seat we ve marked to save while getting concessions at a sporting event, we claim certain spaces as our own. There are three main divisions for territory: primary, secondary, and public. Primary territory: A person s house, yard, room, desk, side of the bed, or shelf in the medicine cabinet. Secondary territories: Don t belong to us and aren t exclusively under our control, but they are associated with us, which may lead us to assume that the space will be open and available to us when we need it without us taking any further steps to reserve it. This happens in classrooms regularly. Students often sit in the same desk or at least same general area as they did on the first day of class. There may be some small adjustments during the first couple of weeks, but by a month into the semester, we don t notice students moving much voluntarily. Public territories: Open to all people. People are allowed to mark public territory and use it for a limited period of time, but space is often up for grabs, which makes public space difficult to manage for some people and can lead to conflict. To avoid this type of situation, people use a variety of objects that are typically recognized by others as nonverbal cues that mark a place as temporarily reserved for example, jackets, bags, papers, or a drink. There is some ambiguity in the use of markers, though. Page 15

16 Artifactual The image one projects Attire (type, cleanliness, fit) Physical fitness Personal hygiene The first thirty to sixty seconds Eye Contact Ordinary level: 30% - 60% Increases with: Confidence Interest Decreases with: Uneasiness Disinterest Can indicate dominance Tactile Defines relationships Shows dominance Check appropriateness Page 16

17 Kinesics Includes: Gestures Movements Positioning Expressions Shows attitudes, thoughts and feelings A General Guide to Body Language Closed movements/positions: Crossed arms Pointing at Leaning Away Clenched fists Turning away A General Guide to Body Language Open movements/positions: Open arms, palms Leaning forward Jacket unbuttoned Page 17

18 A General Guide to Body Language Dominant positions: Standing above Showdown position Taking another s possession A General Guide to Body Language Evaluation positions/gestures: Finger tightly under nose Finger alongside face, pointing to eye Loose fist on bridge of nose, close to eyes, eyes closed Chin cupped in hand, on loose fist A General Guide to Body Language Confident positions/gestures: Leaning back with hands clasped behind head Steepling with hands and fingers Page 18

19 Kinesics Dictionary NOTE: Although the general interpretations of the following are cited, remember that any given nonverbal clue must be evaluated with reference to context (environment, history, relationships), clusters (other nonverbal behaviors), and congruence (do the spoken words match the tone and body language?). Also, be aware of any possible cultural influences that may impact the meaning of any given gesture or expression. ANKLES LOCKED Tension and anxiety ARMS CLENCHED/CROSSES Suspicious, doubt, closed negative attitude, defensiveness BACK TOWARD Closed, shutting out BODY FORWARD Eagerness, readiness, anticipation of something pleasurable, openness BODY SLUMPING Boredom, disinterest, lack of attention BODY FACING TOWARD ANOTHER Openness BODY FACING TOWARD EXIT Feelings of being trapped, disinterest, wanting to leave EYE CONTACT (DIRECT) Positive, interested, wanting interaction EYES SQUINTED Doubt, suspicion, accusatory EYES OPEN, TWINKLING Anticipation, openness, positive attitude FINGER RUBBING EYE I can t see it don t understand, doubt FINGER STROKING NOSE (pointing to eye) Evaluating, I think I can see the point FOOT TAPPING Impatience, disgust, boredom FIST (tightly closed) Aggression, anger FROWN Frustration, disgust GLARE Reprimanding, disgust, irritation HAND IN POCKET (entirely, tightly) Closed, tense, unaccepting, defensive HAND IN POCKET (loosely with thumb out) Confidence, authority HAND RUBBING BACK OF NECK Bewilderment, thinking it over, uneasiness HAND STEEPLING Confidence, control FINGER RUBBING SIDEBURNS Uncertainty, thinking it over Page 19

20 HAND TO CHEST A sign of openness, loyalty acceptance HAND WRINGING Tense, anxious, nervous, anger, hostility HANDS ON HIPS Anticipation, aggressiveness, readiness, closed, defensive HANDS OPEN or WITH PALMS UP OR FORWARD Openness, goodwill, acceptance HANDS LOCKED BEHIND HEAD Relaxed, reassurance HANDS RUBBING EACH OTHER Anticipation: something good, a job to be done HEAD NOD Positive response, agreement, encouragement HEAD IN HAND Tiredness, contemplation HEAD TOSS Anger, refection, indifference HEAD TILTED Openness, acceptance JIGGLING OF MONEY (etc) IN POCKET Impatience, nervousness; concern with temporal goods LEGS CROSSED Nervousness, defensiveness, tenseness, closed LEGS DRAPED OVER CHAIR Indifference, rejection LEGS STRADDLED OVER CHAIR Superiority PACING Nervous, anxious POINTING AT Aggressiveness ROLLING EYES Disbelief SMILE (Western cultures) Goodwill, acceptance SMILE (Asian cultures) nervous STARING Too much interest, possible hostility THUMB HOOKED OVER BELT Control often received negatively TONGUE OUT Concentration; avoidance of something unpleasant, distasteful TUGGING PANTS Anticipation, readiness, here we go feeling YAWN Boredom, indifference, tiredness Page 20

21 Body Language a guide to some of the more common gestures READINESS Hands on hip Hitching up trousers Sitting on edge of chair with hands on knees COOPERATIVENESS Sitting on edge of chair Hands to face Tilted head Unbuttoning of coat DEFENSIVENESS Palm to back of neck or hair Straddling a chair, leaning on chair back Crossed legs (convincing) Crossed arms (high on chest area) Lack of eye contact Clenched hands with thumbs rubbing together Crossing legs Hand stroking hair CONFIDENCE Leaning back with hand behind head (can also read as defensive) Steeping with hands and fingers OPENNESS Coat unbuttoned Arms uncrossed (spread) Hands open, palms up, forward Sitting on edge of chair Leaning toward or forward BOREDOM Drumming on table Head in palm of hand Clicking ball point pen Drooping eyes SUSPICION Sideways glance Pointing shoulder Touching nose Arms crossed and body turned away Feet or entire body pointing to exit Rubbing back of neck with palm FRUSTRATION Rubbing hair and back of neck Kicking ground or imaginary object Tightly clenched hands Short breaths Pointing index finger Clearing of throat Fidgeting in chair Tugging at ears or pants EVALUATION Hand to cheek Hand to cheek, index finger under nose Moving towards, touching or aside nose Pacing the floor (head down, hands behind back) Stroking chin (beard) Glasses or pencil in mouth Page 21

22 WHO IS BOSS? WHO IS WITH YOU? REACTION TO POLICY CHANGE Page 22

23 NEGOTIATION AT FOUR POINTS Active Listening The active, conscious process of receiving, understanding, and remembering the spoken word. Page 23

24 Listening for Comprehension 1) Hearing Is the message audible? 2) Receiving / Attending Is the receiver paying attention? 3) Understanding Is the receiver interpreting the message in the context in which the sender is relaying it? 4) Remembering Can the receiver paraphrase the message and retain essentially the same meaning? Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. - Stephen Covey Levels of Listening 1) Passive Your documentary television face... 2) Verbal Attends Really? You re kidding! Gosh! You don t say... 3) Door Openers Tell me more! Then what? How did that make you feel? 4) Active/Reflective Listening The act of mindfully hearing and attempting to comprehend the meaning of words spoken by another in a conversation or speech. Page 24

25 Levels of Listening Active/Reflective Listening Acknowledge the person s feeling state Paraphrase briefly what the person has said Do not impose judgments or solutions WHO IS BOSS? Who really controls the communication process? Sender Receiver Role of the Listener Listener has key role and responsibility Checking comprehension Providing feedback Page 25

26 The I Statement Deflecting blame from the problem person while emphasizing a focus on the behavior at hand. The I Statement 1) Appropriately address the person 2) Describe how the behavior makes you feel 3) Describe the behavior itself 4) Explain why it causes you to feel this way Page 26

27 Moving from YOU to I For each of the YOU statements below, apply the I Statement formula to rewrite the message in a more positive, less accusatory way. 1) You showed up late for your shift again today. Address I feel when you because 2) You should answer the phone this way instead of the way you have been doing it so far. Address I feel when you because 3) You don t seem to understand the importance of this particular task. Address I feel when you because 4) Your mistakes have created a lot of headaches for the rest of the department. Address I feel when you because Page 27

28 WASHINGTON STATE UNIVERSITY The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw Thank you! This has been a WSU Training Videoconference If you attended this live training session and wish to have your attendance documented in your training history, please notify Human Resource Services within 24 hours of today's date: hrstraining@wsu.edu Page 28

29 - Sender and Receiver Obstacles - On the following pages are several personal characteristics which are potential obstacles to effective communication. Work through this exercise as described below to determine your personal obstacles and to begin identifying remedies to these behaviors. Step One: Step Two: For each characteristic, color in the circle that most applies to you as a sender or receiver in a work context. When you have finished coloring in a circle for each characteristic, place an asterisk ( * ) by the two sender obstacles that are most significant for you. Step Three: Similarly, place an asterisk ( * ) by the two receiver obstacles that are most significant for you. Step Four: Step Five: Discuss with a colleague the likely sources of the sender and receiver obstacles you consider most serious. That is, try to identify causes or conditions that bring on the obstacle. Finally, discuss with your colleague how you might be able to remove these obstacles and begin your own personal communication improvements. Page 29

30 SENDER OBSTACLES 1. Giving a hard sell. 2. Killing enthusiasm by being indifferent or overly critical. 3. Not being attentive to listener reactions to ensure clarity, feedback. 4. Choosing wrong communication medium for the message (i.e., sending a memo when face-to face is needed, or calling a meeting when a memo would have been more efficient) 5. Inefficient or incorrect use of medium selected. Page 30

31 SENDER OBSTACLES 6. Communicating too much or too little. 7. Not organizing the message for maximum clarity (i.e., presenting facts in the wrong order). 8. Failure to adapt message to receiver s frame of reference. 9. Being too vague. 10. Cutting off questions or feedback from listener. Page 31

32 RECEIVER OBSTACLES A. Killing enthusiasm by being indifferent or overly critical B. Cutting in to anticipate what sender will say. C. Not giving message full attention because of an unrelated train of thought, planning your reaction, or other distractions. D. Not asking questions when something is unclear. E. Failure to adapt feedback to sender s frame of reference. Page 32

33 RECEIVER OBSTACLES F. Giving feedback on areas not in the sender s control. G. Being too vague H. Turning off message because of poor attitude to sender I. Blowing your cool. J. Not expressing helpful feedback. Page 33