Interpersonal Communication Skills

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1 Interpersonal Communication Skills

2 Which one of the following traits is most predictive of success? 1. Intelligence 2. Education 3. Experience 4. Knowledge

3 Not intelligence, education, experience, or knowledge

4

5 I know it like the back of my hand!

6

7 1. Yes 2. No Do you see your hand on the screen?

8 Interpersonal Communication Skills Interpersonal skills are the set of abilities we use every day to work, communicate, and interact with other people, both individually and in groups.

9 Interpersonal Communication Skills Interpersonal skills are the set of abilities we use every day to work, communicate, and interact with other people, both individually and in groups. Leadership: The sum of those qualities of intellect, human knowledge, and moral character that allow a person to motivate a group of people to reach a common goal.

10 Agenda Interpersonal Communication Skills - Verbal communication - Non-verbal communication

11 The ability to speak effectively is a shortcut to distinction

12 Verbal Communication The sharing of information between individuals by using speech; a way of conveying information in a spoken rather than written manner.

13 Verbal Communication Principles 1. Think before you speak 2. Organize your message 3. Be clear and concise 4. Learn how to listen 5. Master the art of conversation 6. Communicate with power

14 1. Think Before You Speak Prepare Make the information relevant Start with what your listener needs to know Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

15 How long did President Lincoln spend preparing the Gettysburg address? 1. 1 Day 2. 1 Week 3. Several weeks 4. He wrote it on the way to the cemetery.

16 2. Organize Your Message Five Principles (Winston Churchill): Start strong One theme Simple language Create a word picture (story) End with emotion

17 3. Be Clear and Concise Use the right words - Word choice: using the best words to get your point across A well-developed vocabulary is the outward sign of a well-developed mind. Words are the working tools of your brain, just as surely as your hands or your eyes. Marilyn vos Savant - How to improve: Increase the size of your vocabulary

18 In class exercise: word choice

19

20 Resources to Improve Vocabulary To check your current vocabulary size: To improve the size of your vocabulary: - https://www.vocabulary.com/ - Boost Your Brainpower by Frank Minirth, MD

21 4. Learn How to Listen The problem with communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished. George Bernard Shaw As Ernest Hemingway stated, When people talk, listen completely. ownload/http://www.t Most people ed.com/download/pod never listen. cast/type/talks/slug/jul iantreasure_2011g/ext /mp4/quality/regular/sf _format/xml

22 In class exercise: listening skills

23 Thanks for Not Listening

24

25 Does your spouse know how to listen? 1. Yes 2. No

26 1. Yes 2. No Does your boss know how to listen?

27 Do you know how to listen? 1. Yes 2. No

28 Focus Active Listening Skills - Do not do anything else while the person is talking Observe - Non-verbal behavior Respect - Do not interrupt and let the person finish Acknowledge - Acknowledge the message even if you do not agree Ask - Ask questions for clarity and show sincere interest

29 What s the most effective way to influence others? 1. Formal speech 2. Informal speech 3. Brief/presentation 4. Conversation 5. Lecture

30 5. Master the Art of Conversation Ask for examples Ask for elaboration Summarize what s been said Give your own insight Sometimes all followers want and crave is the opportunity to simply talk with their leader.

31 6. Communicate with Power Stick to the point Connect with your audience Speak with confidence

32 Stick to the Point How can I say what needs to be said using the fewest number of words?

33 Connect with Your Audience Remember their names Tell a story Establish trust/familiarity

34 Connect with Your Audience A person s name to him or her is the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

35 Connect with Your Audience In class exercise: names

36 Tell a Story Six stories a leader needs to be able to tell: 1. Who I am stories 2. Why I am here stories 3. This is my vision stories 4. Teaching stories 5. Values in action stories 6. I know what you are thinking stories

37 . Speak with Confidence

38 It s not about what you say

39 Non-Verbal Communication Skills The process of sending and receiving messages without using words, neither spoken nor written.

40

41 Non-Verbal Communication 1. Kinesics 2. Haptics 3. Proxemics 4. Chronemics 5. Artifacts 6. Physical Appearance 7. Paralinguistics "We speak with our vocal organs, but we converse with our entire bodies.

42 Kinesics Eye contact The eyes of men converse as much as their tongues Ralph Waldo Emerson Intelligence and Compliance Beggars and Presidents Legitimate Request Illegitimate Request Eye contact Complies Does Not Comply No Eye Contact Does Not comply Complies

43 Kinesics Facial Expression

44 Kinesics Body Language

45 Kinesics Body Language Gestures Emblems Hand movements that have precise verbal meanings Recall of verbal message increased 23% Illustrators Gestures that accompany speech Emphasize or repeat what is being said Adaptors Self-touching behaviors

46 Kinesics Body Language Palm up 84% positive testimonials Palm down 52% positive testimonials Pointing (aggressive and annoying) 28% positive testimonials Some walked out Less recall Knife hand (synonymous with pointing) Ok symbol Authoritative, but not aggressive Thoughtful, goal-oriented and focused

47 Touch is persuasive Haptics In most studies, touching occurred on hands or arms Use of touch for persuasive purposes is tricky because touch is so ambiguous The interpretation of touch depends on many factors: context, gender and culture

48 Proxemics How we use space to communicate Expectancy Violations Theory

49 Chronemics How time is used to communicate The higher your status, the more power you have over other people s time

50 Artifacts and Physical Features of the Environment

51 Paralinguistics Vocal/non-vocal signals beyond the basic verbal message. Paralanguage includes pitch, loudness, rate, silences, tone, fluency, etc. "We speak with our vocal organs, but we converse with our entire bodies.

52 Paralinguistics

53 Mirroring or Mimicry When people mimic each other s gestures in conversation, it s correlated to feelings of trust and empathy Creates sense that people are on the same page

54 Putting it all together Letting one s eyes wander Gazing into the distance Glancing at one s watch or other objects Sighing heavily Yawning Crossing and uncrossing legs and arms Tapping fingers and feet, twiddling thumbs Fiddling with pens, eyeglasses, paper Doodling Pointing one s body away from the other person Shifting weight Leaning forward and back in one s chair

55 Putting it all together Redness in face Arms, legs, or ankles crossed Hand on the hips Short or rapid breath Frequent repetition of certain phrases Pointing of fingers Rapid speech and body motions Tenseness Locked jaw Tightly closed lips Frozen expression or scowl Stiff, rigid posture

56 Putting it all together Shifting back and forth in one s chair. Looking back and forth between two fixed objects. Tilting head from side to side. Opening and shutting hands, or moving one hand then the other. Opening and closing one s mouth without saying anything.

57 Closing Remarks

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