Chivalry. The Code of Male Ethics. by: Dean Jacques. This is surely one of the most significant questions of our times and one of the least

Transcription

1 Chivalry The Code of Male Ethics by: Dean Jacques INTRODUCTION What does it mean to be a man? This is surely one of the most significant questions of our times and one of the least confronted. We shy away from it in America, almost apologetically. Being a man suggests an inheritance of guilt, stigmatized by a long history of violence and discrimination. Our schools make a point of teaching this so that no male child slips away untouched. We are expected to carry the guilt of our forefathers, and to varying degrees, our own. It implies that there is something inherently wrong with being a man. More guilt and less pride make for a calmer species. By separating men from the past, from their cultural identity, it is hoped the world will be a better place. There is certain logic to this.we do not want today s men to repeat the crimes of the past. It is hoped that the disconnect will result in a society where women and minorities will be treated as they deserve. On the world stage, it is hoped that the male dominated ethnocentricity of the west will decline and someday contribute to an end to war. But such conclusions are not thought out. Human nature is too complex to embrace the psychic void of such a drastic disconnection. You cannot excise the cultural identity of half the population like a cancer and replace it with nothing. It is an invitation to disaster. The results are all around us. A population of boys and men in search of who they are and how they fit in. No road map. No gender specific guidelines. No rite of passage no articulated destination to pass into. Finding no ready answers, they embrace every i

2 distraction they can, be it entertainment, sports, or narcotics. And here they find role models: Movie heroes, mostly dysfunctional, yet somehow always respected and coming out on top. Selfish, angry, often brutal, their violence appeals to those whose cultural identity is denied them. Business icons, ripping off thousands of people just to increase their bulging coffers. Despite their inhumanity and complete lack of conscience, they represent a perverted ideal of success where even unnecessary and criminal ends justify the means. Entertainers, constantly pushing socially accepted limits with sexual innuendo, foul language and in-your-face complaints. They often appeal to the angry animus of today s young men, who fail to understand the source of their fundamental anguish. Professional athletes, too often referred to as All-American. We hear about them on the nightly news, throwing tantrums, taking illegal drugs, being charged with rape. Advertisers use them as images of manhood, despite their shortcomings. Politicians, selling out to big business, telling outright lies about their opponents, all for the accumulation of power. Media journalists, one-time heroic searchers of truth, now cheapened like prostitutes, focusing on streams of titillating gossip, or positioning their own political bias on a public desperately in need of truth. These celebrities are not the role models that young people need, and yet, in lieu of nothing else, they respond to them. What else do they have? The cultural malediction that this creates is readily seen. Jails are overflowing. Wealthy businessmen crush the hopes and dreams of innocent people. Politicians ignore the threat of pollution and global warming, even as we are encouraged to burn as much oil as we possibly can. Pornographers are viewed as respectable businesspeople. Even religious leaders are now held suspect. With hundreds of charges of child molestations, and a Church dragging its feet in a proper moral response, how could it be otherwise? ii

3 This is the norm that young people grow up in. A norm without heroes. Without myth. Where virtues are so often mouthed with hypocrisy that they are no longer held in serious esteem. While there are many factors contributing to this sad state of affairs, a central component is the degradation of what it means to be a man in relationship to the world. Men still carry a lot of power power that now lacks a viable moral compass. Gender identities cannot be excised or allowed to disintegrate without terrible social consequences. It would be akin to ripping out a person s conscience, taking away his name, firing him from his job, stealing his language, cutting him off from friends and family. Cultural identities, especially those of gender, need to be respected for the role they play in people s lives. They need to be honored and likewise honorable. They need to retain a strong continuity with the past. For all this to happen, they need to evolve. Part of the reason for our present day problems is the rapidity of social change, starting with the Industrial Revolution, when men traded their independence for the enslavement of the factory. No more having work that varied along with the seasons. No more relationship with nature. No more working side-by-side with one s children. This has to be viewed as nothing less than a cultural shock. Even as technology led to rapid advancements, it delivered a series of potent blows to the humanity of its workers. Today, we enjoy technological advancements that are so quickly realized that few of us can keep up to them. And in the freefall of this process, the depth of our humanity is scarcely allowed to evolve at all. It remains in a kind of stasis, waiting for a time when people will be allowed to catch up. Unfortunately, we cannot see that day coming, or even on the agenda. Nor can we wait. We need to resurrect a valid cultural identity for men, and with it a code of ethics appropriate for the times. iii

4 The purpose of this book is to do just that. I have taken concepts from medieval chivalry and modified them to be relevant for today s world.this gives us something already part of our western heritage to build upon rather than embracing something incomplete or as yet unformed. Chivalry was a standard of behavior fashioned primarily for the aristocratic caste of European knighthood. This often elegant yet sometimes barbarous code was shaped by the literature of the High Middle Ages, stories influenced by Celtic legend, wandering troubadours, and Islamic influence on Crusader veterans. Wealthy female sponsors of this literature, women like Marie de Champagne (daughter of Eleanor of Aquitaine), eagerly used them to refine courtly behavior from its alehouse origins. The stories also melded newly formed concepts of romantic love with tales of knightly heroism, influencing the ideals of their male audience. Priestly clerics, hoping to curb the endemic violence of the times, added a Christianized veneer to the originally pagan source material. The result? A massive collection of stories, poems, and songs elevating and idealizing what was considered proper behavior for the warrior caste. This code evolved into the western concept of being a gentleman. Although originally meant for aristocrats, it eventually shaped European societies as a whole. One need not be a gentleman to behave like one. Most popular of the medieval tales were those of King Arthur and his knights, stories that dominated Europe for hundreds of years. The real Arthur was a Romano/British hero whose claim to fame was an effective resistance to Anglo-Saxon invaders. The stories concerning him were Celtic in origin. They were transplanted to the continent during the subsequent migration of Celts to Brittany. It was there, in France, that the stories took on a whole new and courtly aspect. The Dark Age warlord Arthur was transformed into an idealized king who eventually conquered much of Europe. The stories were filled with battles and pageantry, spiritual lessons and magic. They described a golden city called Camelot, were peace and justice reigned supreme. Here iv

5 King Arthur formed the chivalrous order known as the Knights of the Round Table, where scores of heroic knights shared a special companionship. The adventures of these knights provided the fabric of Arthurian tales. And while the adventures certainly offered a popular appeal, the chivalrous behavior of the knights elevated the stories to a new level. The hero was not just the one who was strongest or cleverest, he was one who best exemplified the ideals of chivalry. This was a milestone in western ethics, a code of honor that appealed to the warrior instincts of medieval men. This chivalrycaled for truth, mercy to one s enemies, service to women, protecting the weak, defending the good, justice, loyalty, courtesy, humility, generosity, and a kind of brotherhood, at least among those of the knightly caste. These virtues were never effete, but sprang from a kind of manly strength tempered by gentleness. The selfdisciplined knight was not only strong but congenial as well. Polite, caring, protective, even Christian but above all, admirably masculine. With the advent of Arthurian literature, the ethics of manhood soon became codified, multifaceted and surprisingly social. For the most part, both the Church and women approved. So, there we have it. A decidedly male ethic, distinctly western, extolling a number of social virtues we still value today virtues we need to reinforce for the benefit of all. It now remains for us to embrace this code of manly behavior and modify it for the needs of the twenty-first century. Modern chivalry? Why not? You may ask who are you to write about such things? First, I must admit, I am no paradigm of virtue. I am just a man who has thought long and hard about them, in the light of my own failures and small successes. I have also seen the intrinsic beauty of chivalrous life, and it has moved me deeply. It has shown me my own deficiencies. I wish to follow better. There is more. v

6 Having worked in social services for twenty-five years, I have interviewed many men who were in need of help. More and more I was convinced that the help they needed went beyond food, clothing and shelter. It boiled down to choices that they made, choices we all make, based on values that came to them haphazardly. The culture had failed them, as did their families and social institutions even the programs that I administered. And so their problems were recurring. They could not break free. It is my firm belief that the root of their problems, like almost all our social problems, comes from a cultural inheritance that is fragmented, undeveloped and often contradictory. I also believe we can improve things if we have the will to do so. We can improve ourselves, which is the only place where a given culture can begin to regenerate. vi