PCPM COUNSELING-MENTORING MANUAL

Transcription

1 PCPM COUNSELING-MENTORING 1

2 OBJECTIVES: Upon conclusion of this chapter you will be able to: Explain why this ministry is needed. Identify ways in which you can minister to inmate's. Summarize guidelines for ministering to inmate's. COUNSELING/MENTORING Counseling/Mentoring is a silent agreement between two or more persons indicating a desire to discuss something that is mutual to them. It provides a friendly and supportive relationship for the one seeking answer or the solution to a problem. This type of relationship can take place at the close of a worship service or Bible study session, when some prisoners have a lot of questions as a result of what they heard or they think you may listen to their problem(s). Most of the time, they are not actually seeking solutions. They just want someone to listen and possibly to be an encouraging and supportive friend. A counselor/mentoring must be a good listener, for this is 2/3 of a counseling/mentoring relationship. Naturally, for Christian counselor/mentors to be effective, they must have a close relationship with God. The Holy Spirit then becomes the actual counselor/mentor. While providing insight to the counselor/mentor about the prisoner s situation, the Holy Spirit helps the counsel (resident) to see clearly his/her condition, as well as understand how to deal with the problem. In addition, the Holy Spirit can reproduce in you the Christian characteristic, which will enable you to become an effective Christian counselor/mentor. (See Galatians 5: 22-23) If you do not understand the resident s terminology or expressions (jargon), ask him to explain the meaning. Don t think or, worse, pretend you know what is being said. (No list of words commonly used by prisoners is supplied because the jargon is different in many situations. It also changes from time to time in the institution near you. This is due to culture, race, etc., of the prison population.) Should you think a prisoner needs formal counseling/mentoring, encourage him/her to seek it from or through the social worker (counselor) even if you are a trained professional counselor/mentor yourself. Your primary objective is to counsel/mentor the 2

3 prisoners concerning spiritual matters, unless the individual social worker consented, through your Director, for you to provide social counseling/mentor. Of course in an emergency situation concerning life threatening situations when no social worker is available, if you are a trained counselor/mentor, go on and counsel/mentor the resident. However, as soon as possible, alert your Team Director to the problem, your counsel/mentor to the resident, and advice him/her (the Director) of any actions you think should be taken by him/her, you, and/or the social worker. The director will notify the social worker-not you.(caution: If you do not have formal training, do not attempt to give social counseling/mentoring.) 1. COUNSELING/MENTORING DON Ts 1. Don t make decisions for the resident(s) under any circumstances. Help them to make their own decisions. This encourages responsibility for their own lives. Also will prevent them from being able to say, You did it if things go wrong. 2. Don t judge ideas or the resident(s) by appearance, delivery or words. 3. Don t interrupt immediately, if you think a statement is wrong. Listen 4. Don t scold or interrogate them, in any way, about their previous condition or what they may have done to be placed in here. Many already have poor selfimage. Therefore, you should encourage them not to achieve only the need for self-actualization but Christ actualization. 5. Don t gossip about team members, prison staff, church members, or other prisoners. 6. If prisoners request, during counseling/mentoring sessions, bail assistance or letters of recommendation to judges and other criminal justice authorities, inform them you will pass this request on to your leader for evaluation and possible action. 7. Should a resident tell you, during a session, he is going to commit suicide or take another prisoner s life, offer up a silent prayer while continuing to listen. Become a sounding board, and at the right moment assure him that Jesus can handle any problem. If appropriate, tell him/her of some dark spot in your life, when Jesus had to bring you through. (Caution: As stated previously, be careful not 3

4 to tell anything that can be used later, to threaten or obligate you.) At the conclusion of the session or time expires, immediately relate the information to your Director. (No need to inform the resident that you plan to tell the Director. For him to know this prematurely could prove a hindrance to your relationship.) Do not feel that you have broken a trust by telling the Director the facts. The Director can sort out the facts with the proper prison personnel, and give appropriate advice as how to handle the situation. If the resident is serious, you have possibly prevented a catastrophe. 8. If there is an agreement from the Social Service staff that you will provide social counseling/mentoring, make sure you inform the resident(s) of what the Bible says in Jeremiah 17:5. Then explain, this is why our session(s) will be based on Bible orientated counseling/mentoring, although during the session, you may use the various counseling/mentoring approaches/techniques. 9. It is appropriate for you to pray audibly before starting the session(s), whether one-on-one or a group. Pray for the resident(s), as well as for God s guidance and help with the problem(s). 10. Then encourage the resident(s) to pray (then or later)for God s help with the problem, while pointing out that God s help doesn t come automatically, especially when a person fails to seize the opportunity to ask for it. 11 A discussion about the counselee s prayer life, prior to the actual session, can reveal much about that person s relationship with God. This information can prove to be invaluable during the session(s). 12. In order to be an effective counselor/mentor, even in spiritual matters, the counselor/mentor must gain the counselee s confidence and respect. Some suggested ways to do this are: A. Always display concern with your attitude and body language, as well as with your words. B. Know when to talk and when to listen, but make sure you are in control of the situation. 4

5 C. Never compromise God s standers, prison rules, or you re personal conviction. D. Encourage the counselee to express his/her thoughts on the subject at hand. It is rather difficult to empathize with an incarcerated individual unless you have shared a similar experience. One should never say, I know how you feel, especially if you have never been in prison, because you don t know exactly how that person feels. It is better to say something like it must be very difficult for you being here at times, - help me to understand. For, by your words and actions, a prisoner can determine your prison experience and even the sincerity of your efforts. The first question, usually, on a prisoner s mind is What s in this for you? especially when he learns you are not getting paid to be there. The reason for this skepticism is because he has been lied to, disappointed, frustrated, and had many unfulfilled promises made by those from outside, who come in as so-called do-gooders. You can go into a prison talking about Jesus Cares but the residents see you. They want to know Do you care? Once they have been convinced of your sincere concern about there physical and mental, as well as their spiritual well- been, then it will be easy to say Because I care, I d like to share the source of my happiness with you. This kind of statement will help the prisoners realize that God works through human instruments. Once you are accepted by resident as a friend you, he/she is more apt to listen to what you have to say. Getting them to realize that not everyone on the outside has rejected them plays a major role in the counseling process. As a counselor/mentor, you must keep in mind that few prisoners were church - goers at the time of the arrest, although some were raised as Protestants or Catholics. Many from the major cities, are Black or Hispanics. However, the common denominator is poverty. Being poor is a substantial element of their problem. If they were not poor, many would not be in prison. Most prisoners come from ghetto-type communities, were jobless, and limited education when arrested. (Note: Some are highly educated. Exploiting that education got them in prison.) Most still have limited education, although a few have taken advantage of 5

6 existing opportunities to upgrade theirs. Many do not even understand the charges against them Very few have any plans for dealing with their situation. Many young offenders are drug addicts. Their alleged crime, usually drug related that is, possession, use, sales, or stealing to support the drug habit as well as an anti-social behavior due to the use of drugs. A large number of prisoners have been convicted of previous crimes, although most are first offenders, meaning they have, supposedly, never committed a crime prior to now. To sum up, a typical prisoner is un-churched, poor, has limited education, was unemployed when arrested, and, if a youth, was probably charge with a drug- related crime. If residents come to you about another denomination s doctrine, counsel/mentor them to be true to God s Word and their personal convictions. At the same time, be supportive and loving of Christian brothers and sisters of other faiths Remember that, you will be engaged in either Supportive or Spiritual counseling/mentoring. Therefore, close out your session(s) with prayer and expect God to work through your counseling/mentoring in a significant and powerful way. (Caution: Keep in mind however, that you are not there to do the Chaplain s job or outdo him/her.) 6