When a Husband Loves His Wife (Eph 5:25-30, Col 3:19, 1 Pet 3:7) A. Today, we honor Jesus Christ our Lord & Savior who gave His life for us, giving us the hope of eternal life. 1. And also, today, we express our love for our mothers -- whom the Lord gave to nurture us through this unsettled world. 2. I want to take a different approach on this Mother s Day. a. Rather than discuss God s design for motherhood, I want to talk about how husbands can help their wives be better wives & mothers. B. There are 3 major passages in the NT about a husband s responsibilities to his wife. 1. And the lessons we can learn from those passages can make husbands ever-more effective in their God-given role. C. When a husband loves his wife, what should SHE expect? 1. What is the first thing that comes to YOUR mind? 2. Well, I think wives need to answer that question? [But I may not be too far off base to say ] I. When a Husband Loves His Wife, He gives Her a Sense of Security (Eph 5:25-30). Not talking monetary 1
A. To do that, his love for her has to be authentic (genuine, sincere, & felt deeply). 1. Does your wife sense sincerity in your love for her, husbands? a. If she doesn t, she will not feel secure; she will worry about her future. b. And when that happens, she will apply her energies to self-preservation rather than marriage preservation. c. She will reach out for security anywhere she can find it, rather than trust her husband to provide it. d. And, as a result, the marriage (family) suffers for lack of personal attention. e. You can usually tell when security has drained out of a marriage: The husband & wife live separate lives. (Explain) B. But an authentic love gives a sense of security; it is the kind of the love that Christ has for us. 1. He loves us sacrificially; he gave Himself for us (5:25). 2. He loves us deliberately; he had a purpose in mind, to present us holy & blameless before God (5:26-27). 3. He loves us unconditionally; just as any man will love his physical body no matter what condition it s in (5:28-29). a. There were, of course, conditions to meet for our salvation, but His love was shown before we met those conditions. 4. He loves us without reservation; He s not resentful or embittered toward us for having to give His life for us (Col 3:19) 2
[A wife knows when her husband s love is authentic, & when it is - it gives her a sense of security. It frees her up to move-on to other parts of her role as a wife & mother. Being loved sacrificially, deliberately, unconditionally & without reservation is perhaps the greatest gifts husbands can give their wives. Everything else we have to say in this lesson will fall under the category of authentic love & security.] II. When a Husband Loves His Wife, He Gives Her a Sense of Intimacy (1 Pet 3:7). A. Peter tells husbands to dwell with their wives. 1. The Greek word for dwell means (no surprise) living together as a family. 2. The implication is that a marriage requires attention to duty every day (Eph 5). 3. I think we all realize that a man can live in the same house with his wife, & still not dwell with her. 4. A husband cannot just love his wife from afar or even from the next room. 5. He must dwell with her - to love her in the way God has commanded. 6. He is required not only to provide her with security, but with intimacy too, (which is not just what you think it is). 7. The phrase dwell with them means living a shared life, involved life, as well as an intimate life. 8. Husbands, our houses are not just a refuge for us: a place to eat, rest & play. 9. Our houses are places to build companion-ship & closeness. 10. And much of that can be accomplished by putting away the distractions -- and just listening to her innermost thoughts. 3
[The home should be a retreat for BOTH husband & wife, a place to shut out the pressures of the world & to share the things you have in common as married couple in Christ. That s intimacy!] III. When a Husband Loves His Wife, He Gives Her a Sense of Identity (1 Pet 3:7). A. Too often, men & women come to marriage with an identity they refuse to change. 1. He ll say, I m this way & don t try to change me. 2. She ll say, I want to do this with my live & don t try to change my mind. 3. Christians enter into marriage with a view of who Christ wants them to be. a. His word gives us our identity. b. And husbands can help their wives in this regard simply by being patient & understanding. B. Peter commands, dwell with your wife with understanding - in an understanding way? 1. That means, be interested in your wife as a person -- a child of God who is striving to be what the Lord wants her to be. 2. If you re going to help her in that, she has to be more to you than a. an object of desire - a homemaker - a mother - a social planner - a secretary. 3. When you are interested in your wife as a person -- a child of God -- then you will help her find her identity in Christ. In other words, you will be interested in her soul s salvation (1 Tim 2:15). 4
[Finally, knowing her better will get you ready for the greatest role you have in loving your wife.] IV. When a Husband Loves His Wife, He Gives Her a Sense of Spiritual Leadership (1 Pet 3:7). A. I don t plan to go too far with that weaker vessel description. 1. Yes, women, we men know - you are the ones who go through childbirth, & there is no man alive who could ever endure that. B. But the best way to approach this text is to call to mind that husbands are to be the spiritual leaders of their families, even of their wives. 1. Since the wife is to be in submission to her husband, you might consider her position relationship as weaker not stronger. 2. But when it comes to their relationship in Christ, it doesn t matter, because they are heirs together of the grace of life. a. They share equally the spiritual blessings & rewards of being faithful to their Head: Jesus Christ. 3. Husbands & wives -- who are Christians -- pray together & share spiritual knowledge from God s Word, & that sharing builds fellowship in the Lord s work. 4. But don t lose sight of the fact that the husband s role is one of leadership. [A Christian woman will have a greater sense of security, intimacy & identity if her husband will take a lead in prayer, bible study, spiritual counseling in the home.] CLOSING 5
6 A. While it is within our hands to meet the needs of those to whom we are married, let us go forth to be husbands to our wives & love (her) as Christ loves His church.