ONLINE RELATIONSHIPS i-safe Lesson Plan

ONLINE RELATIONSHIPS i-safe Lesson Plan Suggested Grade Level High School Learning Objectives Students will: understand the various types of online relationships that can occur from online communication be able to define the terms predator, grooming process, and willing participant understand the implications of the grooming process and willing participation in risky online behavior Enrichment Goal Learners will interact in the classroom environment through group discussion and examination of various types of online relationships. Learners will be provided with materials to engage in an enrichment activity, which includes setting up a school DROP (Dealing Responsibly with Online Problems) Box for dealing with Internet issues and concerns from the school population. Materials/Preparation a copy of reference and activity pages for each student DROP Box direction page online i-mentor registration (each student) to receive supporting i-mentor Toolkit materials Pre-Assessment If beginning the i-safe program with this lesson, administer the pre-assessment online at www.isafe.org by clicking on Assessments prior to the lesson. To verify school ID number, log in at www.isafe.org, go to the My Info page, and select Find Your School ID. Lesson Procedures All students participating in the i-safe curriculum are considered i-mentors. If they haven t done so already, have students enroll online by clicking on Create Account at www.isafe.org to take full advantage of the support and incentives offered. This may be done at any time during the lessons, or students may complete this registration at home. If you would like to register your students yourself, simply go to http://www.isafe.org/teachermentorprogram and fill out the information for your students; then e-mail to outreach@isafe.org. Your students will then be enrolled, will receive information about sharing Internet safety with other students, and will be registered to participate in contests to win prizes. Discussion Ensure that all students have printouts of the reference activity sheet. Engage learners in a brief discussion in which they define the term online relationship, and identify, explain, and analyze the dangers involved in initiating online relationships. Guide the discussion to cover the following: Online relationships form through regular online communication, such as chatting, text messaging, bulletin posting, etc. 2006 i-safe Inc. Online Relationships Grades 9 12 1

Online relationships can have different goals, such as friendship, love, career networking, support community, etc. Online relationships come with both benefits and disadvantages. Brainstorm as a class the benefits and disadvantages of online relationships. There are dangers involved in forming online relationships. Online communication has become increasingly popular in recent years, offering a way for individuals to meet and talk with others in an environment that seems anonymous and open. However, while it s easy to meet people online, it is also easy to forget that these people may not be who they say they are or be there for the stated reasons/purposes they provide. o What are some of the potential dangers? o How can these dangers be prevented? Have students refer to the Online Relationships reference sheet. Decide as a class how to cover the information provided. Some options include: o Read together as a class and discuss. o Divide class into small groups, and read in small groups and discuss. o Have students read individually, and then meet back as a class or in small groups to discuss. Review as a class the information covered in the reference sheet. Create student groups of three or four to complete the following project. Peer-to-Peer Activity Direct students to engage in the project activity as directed on the activity page. Each group receives an activity page to spur conversation. Students should discuss each question and jot down their thoughts. Inform students that each group will be responsible for presenting its thoughts on its type of online relationship including: o benefits o dangers o proactive prevention tips/guidelines Students develop a corresponding visual aid for their presentation to the class (i.e. a poster of their safety tips). Presentation: Each group stands up and shares its thoughts on the question/issue as related to the type of online relationship it is covering. Concluding Discussion As a class, discuss the following: potential benefits and risks of online relationships when the benefits outweigh the risks when the risks outweigh the benefits proactive ways to handle online relationships. Stress the key concept that no matter what type of online relationship, personal information should be safeguarded to prevent issues/dangers from arising. Ask students if this is information their peer group needs to know and understand in order to operate safer online. Lead into a discussion about the enrichment activity. 2006 i-safe Inc. Online Relationships Grades 9 12 2

Enrichment Activity Youth who participate in activities to share what they have learned about Internet safety are more likely to practice safe habits online. Additional lessons and support for students, teachers, and parents on Internet safety topics are available from i-safe Inc. at www.isafe.org. Review with students what they have learned about personal safety. Discuss with students ways to help others dealing with online safety. Inform students that they will be helping set up a schoolwide DROP Box so other students can receive help when involved with online issues. Pass out the DROP Box worksheet for students to fill out as you discuss getting started. Share with students the DROP Box information directions for getting started. A DROP Box gives your peers a chance to confidentially ask Internet safety questions and report any online concerns. A successful DROP Box requires some forethought and communication with school administrative staff. 1. Ask an adult teacher or counselor to monitor the DROP Box and report back to you. He or she should be the only person with access to the box to sort the messages by topic. Any immediate or unsafe concerns must be handled by this adult monitor. 2. Submit a proposal to your school administration to have a DROP Box. In your proposal, address the following: Faculty Liaison What faculty member will be responsible for checking the box? Frequency How frequently will the faculty member check the box? Chain of Command Once the faculty member has checked box, how will issues be handled (i.e. what school official will deal with serious or dangerous issues, how will other issues be passed onto students to deal with, and how will answers be relayed to the student or school body)? 3. Find a ballot box and a lock. 4. Find a location for your DROP Box. Get permission to set it up. 5. DROP Boxes relay the safe and non-confidential messages to you and the other i- MENTORs to address while passing along more serious safety concerns to the school official who deals with the issues. 6. Make sure you don t give people the wrong info: Research and verify your answers before you respond! Also, please respect the privacy of others. Questions and answers should be publicized anonymously; don t use real names. 7. Relay information back to student/school body as identified in proposal. Suggestions include: periodic articles in school newspaper (i.e. Dear Abby type column) daily/weekly spot on school announcements, either via PSA or TV spot bulletin board or web page in prominent location for posting of answers Post-Assessment Administer the post-assessment online at www.isafe.org by clicking on Assessments if this is your last lesson for i-safe. To verify school ID number, log in at www.isafe.org, go to the My Info page, and select Find My School ID. 2006 i-safe Inc. Online Relationships Grades 9 12 3

Related Lessons The i-safe lessons: Online Social Networking and Cyber Relationships (Webcast) provide additional related information. Contact us We d like to hear from you! E-mail teachers@isafe.org to share any unique ideas and/or experiences you had during implementation of this lesson. 2006 i-safe Inc. Online Relationships Grades 9 12 4

Online Relationships Chances are that if you re online, you ve engaged in communication that helps develop an online relationship, whether that relationship is with someone you already know offline or someone you meet while online. Unfortunately, predators use various types of online relationships to cultivate new victims. They use what is known as the grooming process to take valid, safe online relationships to dangerous levels, and to break down barriers. Predators and the Grooming Process: The traditional role of a child predator changed dramatically with the advent of the Internet. Now there is a forum where predators can groom their victims. A predator is one who stalks or uses lies, secrecy, or stealth to get close to another person in order to easily hurt or harm them. The grooming process of a predator involves the following: SIMILAR INTERESTS: A predator will discuss common, shared interests, likes, and dislikes with you. If you say you like a particular actor, so will the predator. This person will pretend to have the same musical interests or sports interests; have things that you desire (e.g. clothes, swimming pool, or a cool car); or claim to enjoy the same activities (e.g. shopping, hiking, fishing). This leads you to believe that he or she is just like you, and because you like the same things, you can be online buddies. After you come to believe that the two of you have a lot in common, you may exchange e-mail or add him to your buddy list. Now the two of you can talk online without other people listening. TRUST: The predator will want to listen to anything you want to talk about. He will be very interested in everything you say because he wants you to believe that he is really interested in you and cares about what you have to say. If you have a bad day at school or at home, he will be sympathetic. He will tell you that he understands. You will begin to believe that this person really cares about you. However, he just wants you to trust him. The longer you talk with this person and the more you share with him, the more you will come to believe that this person is no longer a stranger but is actually a friend. This new friend will usually take your side when you tell him or her about an argument with your friends, parents, or teachers. By doing so, he gives the impression that he is a better friend to you then your other friends or your family. You soon gain such trust in this false friend that you separate yourself from your true friends and family. SECRECY: You and your online acquaintance build a relationship. The predator will usually ask you to keep the friendship secret. He will explain that other people, especially your parents, won t understand how you can be such good friends with someone who you met on the Internet. The reason he doesn t want you to tell your parents or another adult is because you really CAN NOT trust this person, and he knows that an adult would step in and protect you from him. 2006 i-safe Inc. Reference

Willing Participant You ve heard it before, and you know better than to fall for the grooming ritual. That DOESN T mean you aren t susceptible to dangerous online relationships. Studies show that more and more students are entering into online relationships as willing participants they are told that their online friend is older, and rather than being groomed, they are often mislead by their online friend. The anonymity of the Internet means that trust and intimacy can develop quickly. However, as one frightening story after another is revealed, even educated people who enter into online relationships can find disaster stalking, harassment, and more. So no matter what, don t reveal personal information online. Get an adult s help to evaluate the relationship for what it is, and don t meet offline. Online relationships can be great, as long as they stay ONLINE! Safety Tips 1. Treat all people you meet online as strangers, even if a friend introduced you! 2. Take everything that s said online with a grain of salt. It is all too easy to develop a new persona, make things up, etc., when online. 3. There are many ways to deceive online. Be aware that the person on the other end may or may not be there for the same reasons you are. 4. Don't give out personal details, such as your name, phone number, address, or a personal description, to people with whom you chat on the Internet. Even if the person is who they say they are and not a predator, relationships that end badly can degenerate into cyber harassment or stalking. 5. Trust your instincts. If you feel uneasy about someone, there may be a reason. Get out of the relationship. Get help from someone you know offline, if needed. 2006 i-safe Inc. Reference

Online Relationships Types of Online Relationships friendship: basic friendship, discuss daily events, hang out, etc. special interest, clubs, and hobbies support group: friendship based upon central issue (i.e. health problem, new baby, etc.) dating: online dating that may progress to physical meeting business/professional: interaction for the purpose of getting ahead in business, school, etc. Directions: Your teacher will assign you one of the above types of relationships to discuss in your group. Be sure to cover the following questions in relation to your type of relationship: How do such relationships form online? What types of communication can occur is such an online relationship? What are some benefits of this type of online relationship? What are some drawbacks/dangers of this type of online relationship? Compose a list of safety tips/rules specific to this type of relationship? Be prepared to present what you have learned to the class with a visual aid if directed to by your teacher (i.e. poster, flyer, etc.). Use the space below to brainstorm ideas in your group. 2006 i-safe Inc.

DROP Box Directions: A DROP Box gives peers a chance to confidentially ask Internet safety questions and report any online concerns. A successful DROP Box requires some forethought and communication with administrative staff at your school. 1. Decide if the DROP box will be a class project, a committee or team undertaking, or the responsibility of an individual. 2. Ask an adult teacher or counselor to monitor the DROP Box and report back to you. He or she should be the only person with access to the box to sort the messages by topic. Any immediate or unsafe concerns must be handled by this adult monitor. 3. Submit a proposal to administration to have a DROP Box at your school. In your proposal, address the following: Faculty Liaison What faculty member will be responsible for checking box? Frequency How frequently will the faculty member check the box? Chain of Command Once the faculty member has checked the box, how will issues be handled (i.e. what school official will deal with serious or dangerous issues, how will other issues be passed onto students to deal with, how will answers be relayed to student or school body)? 4. Find a ballot box and a lock. 5. Find a location for your DROP Box. Get permission to set it up. 6. DROP Boxes relay the safe and non-confidential messages to you and the other i- MENTORs to address while passing along more serious safety concerns to the school official who deals with the issues. 7. Make sure you don t give people the wrong info: Research and verify your answers before you respond! Also, please respect the privacy of others. Questions and answers should be publicized anonymously; don t use real names. 8. Relay information back to student/school body as identified in the proposal. Suggestions include: periodic articles in school newspaper (i.e. Dear Abby type column) daily/weekly spot on school announcements either via PSA or TV spot bulletin board in prominent location for posting of answers 2006 i-safe Inc.

DROP Box Worksheet DROP Box: Dealing Responsibly with Online Problems. This box is designed so students can write letters concerning their Internet safety issues and submit them in the confidential box in order to receive help from the appropriate person (i.e. counselor, administrator, feedback from peers, etc.) Faculty Liaison: the person responsible for checking the box Frequency: how often box will be checked Location: where box will be placed Chain of Command: how answers to questions will be dealt with Sample: Faculty liaison checks box, reads questions, and sorts. School level issues (i.e. safety issues occurring on campus with potential danger) are referred to appropriate administrator or resource officer. Hot topic issues (i.e. safety issues of concern that do not occur on campus with potential danger) are referred to counselor and/or resource officer. Peer issues are referred to DROP Box student board to be answered. Response Retrieval (how students will get their questions answered): Sample: bulletin board with answers (all anonymous) newsletter answers spot on announcements Points to Remember: Box should be all about CONFIDENTIALITY. Faculty liaison should make all final decisions on how concerns are routed and must approve all student responses. 2006 i-safe Inc.