In order to have a GREAT marriage: 2012 Theme: WISDOM Proverbs: God s Wisdom for Everyday Living God s Wisdom for a Great Marriage I. HONOR THE COVENANT AGREEMENT YOU MADE TO YOUR SPOUSE "It will save you also from the adulteress,... who has left the partner of her youth and ignored the covenant she made before God." (Proverbs 2:16-17, NIV) "... the Lord is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant." (Malachi 2:14, NIV) UNDERSTAND THAT: A. A covenant is not a contract A wedding vow is not the declaration of present love, but an unconditional promise of future love B. Our covenant of unconditional love & loyalty to our spouse is designed by God to be a mirror reflecting His covenant of unconditional love & loyalty to us That mirror shows the world what God is like C. It s not you who keeps the vow, but the vow that keeps you D. We have to keep God in the equation II. CULTIVATE A CLOSE, LOVING FRIENDSHIP THAT HELPS YOU BOTH TO BECOME MORE LIKE CHRIST A. It takes work B. Be devoted to fulfilling each other s greastest need 1. Husbands: to be respected
"An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones. " (Proverbs 12:4, NASB95) 2. Wives: to be loved "Under three things the earth trembles, under four it cannot bear up:... an unloved woman who is married... " (Proverbs 30:21-23, NIV) "Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. " (Proverbs 31:28-29, NIV) C. Be a true friend to each other 1. A true friend helps you take out the trash God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless." (Ephesians 5:25-27, NIV) "Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." (Proverbs 27:5-6, NIV) "Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ." (Ephesians 4:15, NIV) "Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one s friend springs from his earnest counsel." (Proverbs 27:9, NIV) "Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you." (Proverbs 9:8, NIV) 2. A true friend picks you up when you fall "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!" (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, NIV) 3. A true friend is there for you in the hard times "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." (Proverbs 17:17, NIV)
"A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." (Proverbs 18:24, NIV) 4. A true friend enjoys sharing life with you in the good times "... Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this fleeting life that God has given you under the sun all your fleeting days." (Ecclesiastes 9:9, NIV) Date night In the little things D. A close, loving friendship in marriage naturally leads to a very enjoyable and mutually fulfilling physical relationship "His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my lover, this my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem." (Song of Solomon 5:16, NIV) III. BUILD YOUR MARRIAGE ON THE SOLID FOUNDATION OF FEARING GOD "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,..." (Proverbs 9:10, NIV) "The fool says in his heart, There is no God. (Psalm 14:1, NIV) Loving God is the key that unlocks the door of loving each other in marriage "... the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. " (Romans 5:5, NASB95) Being in love is a good thing, but it s not the main thing. Love is distinct from being in love in that love is not just a feeling. It s a deep unity maintained by the will, deliberately strengthened by habit, and reinforced in Christian marriages by the grace of Jesus Christ. A husband and wife can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other. It s on this love that the engine of marriage is run. Being in love was just the explosion that ignited it. C.S. Lewis