On a personal note, I thoroughly enjoyed sharing the day with you and I hope you had as much fun learning as I did teaching, because I believe that growing as a person should be an exciting and entertaining experience filled with laughter, inspiration and special moments. I also hope that you will soon discover just how much you can enjoy putting your new skills and knowledge into practice; whether for inspiring positive influence or simply enhancing the quality of the lives you touch by being the best, happiest version of you. Until next time, remember: Open your senses to the present because this truly is the gift that keeps on giving! All the best, Darren PS When you re ready for your free coaching session, just send us an email!
NLP is the science of success. Seminar Notes Neuro-Linguistic Programming was originally created around a process known as modeling, whereby we extract the strategies employed by people who have successfully overcome mental challenges, developed extraordinary skills, or intuitively perform at excellent levels. Using NLP, we structure these successful strategies using sensory information, so we can teach them to others - whether for changing negative behaviors or greatly improving your capabilities and performance. Neuro nervous system / brain / senses Linguistic verbal & nonverbal communication systems Programming unconscious automated processes A handshake is an example of socially learned programming, because when someone presents us their hand we reach out and shake it automatically without a lot of thought. Creating Rapid Rapport What is Rapport? It is the sense of harmony, similarity and mutual acceptance that people share when feeling connected. People like people who are like themselves or how they want to be. Why do we want this? When you create rapport intentionally, people perceive you as being like them, which strengthens your potential for positive influence. How do we create rapport with NLP? Mirroring: positioning / moving your body and adjusting your voice qualities to resemble those of the subject. Important: For effective mirroring, less is often more! Aim for subtle similarities which feel natural, because then a little goes a long way.
Physical qualities for mirroring: Body Language - posture, gestures, lean, head tilt, expressions Rhythms - breathing, nodding, blinking, pulse, bouncing foot Eyes - eye contact, eye movements, eyebrows Proximity - comfort zone, body angle, contact (touch) Voice qualities for mirroring: Tonality speed, cadence, volume, pitch Tip: Choose one element from these lists to practice each day until you can do it naturally and automatically, then choose another and repeat. What else can you do to create a strong sense of rapport? Get into Uptime - out of your head and into your senses. When you first meet someone, ask yourself What can I find to like about this person? What s interesting about them? How are we similar? 3 Magic Questions (use while mirroring) 1. Location / Occasion Ex: What brings you here today? 2. Passion / Profession Ex: What do you enjoy most about your work/hobby? 3. History / Background Ex: How did you first get started with your work/hobby? Ask open questions (not yes/no or 1-word answers). Echoing language: Matching precise words & phrases (not paraphrasing) - watch and listen for the important words / phrases and repeat them back to the person.
The Language of the Senses Use sensory language to create a deep sense of understanding, even deeper rapport, and for powerful, positive influence. We call it Neuro-Linguistic Programming for an important reason! NLP Representational Systems Visual (seeing) Auditory (hearing) Kinesthetic (touching / feeling) Olfactory (smell) Gustatory (taste) The Preferred Sense People tend to prefer one sense over the others in the way they perceive, store and process information about their experience of the world. A person s preferred sense is easily distinguished by the words they choose when speaking. Sensory Language (predicates) Visual - see, show, look, recognize, colorful, clear You re a sight for sore eyes. Let s focus on the big picture. Auditory - hear, listen, tell, say, describe, discuss That s music to my ears Sounds good to me Kinesthetic - touch, feel, rub, hold, grab, grasp Are you getting a handle on this? It s all smooth sailing now Your influence with another person is greatly increased when you first gain rapport and then speak to them using their preferred sensory language.
Transforming Bad Feelings for Good Physiology body posture, breathing, etc. What do people do with their bodies when feeling sad / depressed / tired? What about when you re feeling confident / strong / certain? Changing your physiology will quickly change how you feel, especially straightening your spine! Tip: Do the Superhero Pose for 2+ minutes to feel more confident! Smile for an extra boost! Language words and voice (including internal dialog) What do people say and how do they sound when feeling sad / depressed / tired? What about when you re feeling confident / strong / certain? Changing the way you speak will quickly change how you feel, especially your internal dialog! Tip: Change the critical internal voice to sound ridiculous, like a cartoon character, and it will be very easy to dismiss it. The reverse is also true, so, for example, when you want to feel more confident then speak to yourself using a strong confident voice! Mental Focus internal images / movies What kinds of things do people picture when feeling sad / depressed / tired? What about when you re feeling confident / strong / certain? Energy flows where attention goes! Recall images of events where you re feeling how you want to feel, like: strong, excited or confident! Super Tip: Activate Your Personal Power -> Practice doing all three - the Superhero Posture + Happy Language + Picturing Positive Feeling Events to create a truly powerful state! Get into the habit of creating a powerful state before doing important things, because you will always perform a lot better when you re feeling great!
SMARTER Goals Specific -> simple & stated in positive terms what do you want? Measurable -> in your sensory experience what will you see, hear, feel? Achievable -> insure that it s actually possible for you. Responsible -> self-initiated & maintained by you. Time-based -> target date / time by which you will have achieved it. Ecological -> this will only have positive effects in all areas of your life. Results-oriented -> purpose-driven outcomes why do you want to do this? Your conscious mind can only hold awareness of 7 +/- 2 bits of information at any given moment. Your Reticular Activating System focuses your attention on things that are important to you and filters out the things that aren t. When you use the SMARTER system for setting goals, you dramatically improve your chances for success! Can you imagine all the ways you can use the things you ve learned during this seminar to improve your future? Whether for your work, personal life, or helping others learn to live abundantly, I hope you re enjoying the Essential NLP Skills I ve taught you and continue using them to build an even brighter, more successful future! Like Alice in Wonderland, you might imagine what you ve gained so far to be like poking your head inside the rabbit hole for a quick look around. When you decide to discover just how deep the rabbit hole goes, I strongly suggest taking my Certified NLP Practitioner Course, because When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.