THE BODY LANGUAGE OF RELATIONSHIPS
Legal Disclaimer This book is All Rights Reserved. You may not sell this book, give it away, display it publicly, nor may you distribute it in any form whatsoever. While reasonable attempts have been made to ensure the accuracy of the information provided in this publication, the author/publisher does not assume any responsibility for errors, omissions or contrary interpretation of this information and any damages or costs incurred by that. The author/publisher does not warrant or represent at any time that the contents within are completely accurate due to the rapidly changing nature of the Internet. This book is not intended for use as a source of legal, business, accounting, or financial advice. All readers are advised to seek the services of competent professionals in legal, business, accounting and finance fields. While examples of past results may be used occasionally in this work, they are intended to be for the purposes of example only. No representation is made or implied that the reader will do as well from using the techniques described. The author/publisher does not assume any responsibility, or liability whatsoever, for what you choose to do with this information; Use your own judgment. Any perceived slight of specific people or organizations, and any resemblance to characters living, dead or otherwise, real or fictitious, is purely unintentional. In practical advice books, like anything else in life, there are no guarantees of income made or results therefrom. Readers are cautioned to rely on their own judgment about their individual circumstances and to act accordingly. You are encouraged to print this book for easy reading. Use this information at your own risk. 2
INTRODUCTION Body language has been a prevalent factor in the attraction of the opposite sex since the era of the caveman. Although gone are the days of slouching ape-like posture and smiles bearing limited teeth, body language is still a dominant force in the engagement of flirting, dating and marriage. Considering the fact that non-verbal cues make up for 93% of communication, understanding body language is crucial if you want to interpret or translate how a member of the opposite sex feels about you. Body language is defined as the gestures, postures, and facial expressions by which a person manifests various physical, mental or emotional states and communicates nonverbally with others. Body language has been a prevalent factor in the attraction of the opposite sex since the era of the caveman. 3
Or in other words, the countless ways a person interacts with another without using words. Body language is our key to interpreting feelings and emotions that might otherwise be left unsaid. Body language is usually based on instinct, and is therefore harder to stifle or avoid as with verbal communication. When speaking, you have a split second to retract or reconsider a statement that you may not want to share aloud. However, with body language, it is very difficult to intercept the action before it occurs. It is as though your brain is thinking the feeling and performing the action simultaneously. Therefore, body language is a very reliable source when translating how a person is feeling. body language is a reliable source when translating how a person is feeling. 4
In this book we will explore how to decipher body language cues given to us by the opposite sex in relation to flirting, dating and marriage. We will also uncover the clues to be able to interpret whether the signals of flirting are sex driven or those with the basis of a meaningful, long-term relationship. Also, we will study body language that pertains to lying or deceitful behavior relative to relationships. 5
BODY LANGUAGE IN RELATION TO FLIRTING On a first date or even a casual encounter with someone of the opposite sex there are many non-verbal cues given by body language to decipher what or how the other person is feeling or what they are thinking. Flirting is the stepping stone to a first date or in the alternative a casual sexual encounter. Here are a few body language cues to be able to unlock the mystery of which category you will fall into. 6
First Date or Evolution into a Relationship Eye Contact: Men and women alike will make and maintain eye contact when something peaks their interest. If a member of the opposite sex has made and is maintaining eye contact when you are engaged in conversation, this is a sign that they are truly interested. Eye contact can gauge how interested a person is in you. If the eye contact is steady, then you can be confident that the other person is showing an interest in you enough to focus on you and what you are saying. Accidental Touching: When someone of the opposite sex is interested in you, there is a chance that they will not be able to resist the urge to touch you. Touching of the shoulder, arm, back, or hand will show that the other person is interested, that they would like to get to know you better and they are comfortable in your presence. 7
There are also general body language cues that men and women exhibit when they are interested in one another. For men, they may place their hands on their belt, or insert a finger into their belt buckle. Also they may show signs of grooming such as running their fingers through their hair, or stroking their face. For women, the signs of equal attraction may include playing with or tousling their hair, and exposing their neck or inner wrists. The showing of the neck and wrists is a sign that they are vulnerable and are in need of affection. There are also general body language cues that men and women exhibit when they are interested in one another. 8
Sexual Encounter Only Wandering Eye Contact: This type of eye contact will start with the typical focus on the eyes, but will often (and rather quickly) wander to other body parts, including the neck (for males to females), the breasts (for male to females), lips or other anatomical body parts. Wandering eye contact is often an indication that the flirting is based on sexual desire rather than true interest in getting to know someone based on intelligence or other personality traits. 9
Female Arm Crossing: Typically when females cross their arms they are doing this subconsciously in order to make the size of their breasts appear larger. They want men to accept the primitive gesture that they are interested sexually by displaying their body parts associated with the sexual act. Lip licking for women will also indicate that they are interested in a sexual encounter. There are other obvious signs of attraction based on sex when ready body language alone. A man puffing their chest is a sign that he is trying to create an illusion that he is larger and stronger than any other male in the room, therefore, he would like to make you his mate. Females, on the contrary will do whatever necessary to make themselves appear smaller and weaker than other females in the room in order to create the appearance of someone in need of a larger, stronger person to take care of them. 10
FLIRTING IN RELATIONSHIP TO DATING Everyone gets first date jitters in the moments leading up to the big event. Typically the parties to the date have previously met in person or had an interaction (i.e. telephone, in person or on-line conversation) that led to the date itself. In the previous chapter we discussed body language in relation to flirting. The body language displayed in the course of the flirting process is probably responsible for at least a portion of arriving at first date status. When the date begins, you can be confident in the fact that the other party to the date was interested enough in you to follow through with a date. At this step, you will now have to evaluate (through the process of the date) whether the opposite party will continue their interest or if the first date will be the last. Deciphering the body language of your date will be a tell tale sign of whether there are future dates to come. Everyone gets first date jitters in the moments leading up to the big event. 11
Let s use the dinner and a movie date example for this section. There are many body language cues that could be a sure sign that someone is interested in you, and would like to get to know you better possibly leading to a second date or even a long term relationship. Leaning into You at a Movie: When a person leans into you it shows that they want to be closer to you, and enjoy the way you may smell or feel. Skin on skin contact is an indicator that the person feels comfort when they are touching you. 12
Hand Holding: Holding hands is another example of skin on skin contact for comfort. You can hold hands across the dinner table or while at the movie theater. If a person of the opposite sex reaches for your hand it shows that they are enjoying your company, and that they want you to be as close as possible without being inappropriate. Hugging & Kissing: At the conclusion of a date, it is customary for a male to approach the female for a kiss or hug goodnight. In today s society however, it could possibly be the female who makes the engagement first. Although, there is a third, and more desirable option; both parties to the date lean forward at the same time simultaneously. In this case, this shows that both parties are equally comfortable with each other at this point and would like to express their interest in the other party by a show of affection. 13
A Genuine Smile: It may be easy for some to decipher between a genuine smile, and one that is given as a sign of courtesy. For others it may not be so simple. A genuine smile is one that is given with teeth typically showing, and it will seem as though the entire face of the person who is smiling is lighting up. On a first date if you receive many of these genuine smiles, either when simply being looked at or throughout conversation, it is a sign that the other party is genuinely interested. 14
BODY LANGUAGE IN RELATION TO MARRIAGE In the normal course of everyday life, flirting leads to dating and dating can lead to long term, committed relationships or marriage. If you have made it through the casual flirting and dating stage, the next step would be commitment on some level. When you observe people who have been married for a short time or a couple that has been married for ages, the body language that is exhibited can be a key in deciphering how happy the couple is together. In the normal course of everyday life, flirting leads to dating and dating can lead to long term, committed relationships or marriage. 15
Giving Space to Your Partner: Personal space is often achieved in a long term committed relationship and is a sign if true comfort. At this stage in a relationship, space is a sign of security where as clingy, close behavior is looked at as a sign of insecurity. Healthy Listening Skills: Listening can be done with many types of body language displays. Leaning in to hear what the other person is saying, focusing on the persons face while they are speaking, and not being distracted by outside noises or sounds are all body language signs that a person respects what the other is saying, and enjoys listening to them as opposed to feeling the obligation of hearing them. 16
Being at Ease: Comfort is easy to spot. When you are comfortable around another, you body will seem loose instead of stiff, your shoulders will slouch more than a perfect posture position, and you will exhibit a general relaxation in your posture and gate as well. Being at ease around someone is a true gesture of comfort, and being comfortable around your partner is a vital key to a healthy relationship. Making the journey from friends to lovers and then to husband and wife requires patience and dedication. Body language will play a significant part on this journey. Body language signs are a natural indication that the relationship will stay true or in the alternative, fail. In the next section we will discuss the body language displays for relationships that have waned and are on their way to failure. Making the journey from friends to lovers and then to husband and wife requires patience and dedication. 17
BODY LANGUAGE IN RELATION TO DECEITFUL BEHAVIOR While in a relationship, there are many notable signs that the relationship is no longer working or that the other person is no longer interested. There are also body language cues that are given as an indication that a person is lying or exhibiting deceitful behavior. Hard Kissing: Kissing with both lips closed and not lingering for the kiss is what as known as a hard kiss. Hard kissing is a sign that the person either bores you, or you no longer feel the attraction to the person as you once did. Hard kissing also shows the signs that the other person is only kissing you because they feel they have to kiss you out of habit rather than truly enjoying the intimate moment of a kiss. 18
No Longer Looking Into Each Other s Eyes: Eye contact (as discussed above) is a sign that a person is interested and cares about what you have to say. Making eye contact is one of the most important body language cues in an intimate relationship. When eye contact is no longer achieved, this could be a sign of lost interest, deceit, lack of respect or genuine dislike. When the eye contact has been lost, the relationship itself may follow. No Longer Mirroring Each Others Movements: Couples tend to mirror one another when they have reached a loving comfort with one another. Whether it be eating at the same pace or sitting in the same comfortable spots on the couch while watching television, mirroring body language is a tendency you will notice when a couple is truly happy. On the other hand, if the body language is no longer being mirrored, then the couple may have fallen out of synch with each other and maybe out of synch with the relationship as well. Also connection to the other person is important. Bodies facing toward one another is an inviting body language cue and in the alternative bodies facing away from one another is a signal that the couple is no longer connected. 19
CONCLUSION It has been said by experts that body language is a true indication of feelings and thoughts. Body language cues are everywhere, and we have only touched the tip of the iceberg in this ebook. However, we have also given you a great tool and stepping stone to be able to unlock the doors when body language is being exhibited. The next time you are in a social situation, take a look around at the interactions of others and see if you can t pick out a few of the body language signals we have discussed here. Also see if you can figure out which couples are exhibiting the body language signs of flirting, dating, or long term relationships. Good luck with your body language translation!! 20