Writing Examination Report - Test 055

Transcription

1 Skills for Life Level 1 Writing Examination Report - Test 055 September 2006 University of Cambridge ESOL Examinations 1 Hills Road Cambridge CB1 2EU United Kingdom Tel Fax [email protected] UCLES 2006 EMC 4369d 6Y10

2 Skills for Life Writing (Level 1) Examination Report This report is based on candidate performance on Skills for Life (Writing) tests between September 2005 and May It also includes data collected from a questionnaire completed by candidates, which asks them to supply details of their age, gender, experience of English and first language(s). The report is intended as an aid to teachers and colleges in preparing candidates for future Cambridge ESOL Skills for Life (Writing) tests. It includes a number of sample candidate answers accompanied by examiner comments. Level 1 (Test 055) The four tasks in this test were a report giving information about a minor traffic accident witnessed by the candidate, a letter to a college canteen manager giving feedback on the standard of service at the canteen, an article for a local newspaper about a famous person and the text for a leaflet on successful job-seeking strategies. There were 36 marks available on the paper: 9 for Task 1, 12 for Task 2 and 15 for Task 3. This information is provided on the question paper. The breakdown of marks available for each assessment (Text, Sentence and Word) is shown below: Text Sentence Word Task Task Task Overall, most candidates performed well on the paper with 73.4% scoring the 21 or more marks required to pass. The average mark was 24. Candidates scored highly in the Text and Word, where the average mark was respectively 10.3 out of 15 and 6.2 out 9. Task 1 was most successfully answered, with candidates gaining an average of 6.3 of the 9 marks available. Task 3 was the least well answered, possibly because candidates tended to score less well on Sentence and there were 6 marks, rather than 3, available for Sentence. Task 1 Witness Report In this task, the most successful answers were generally the simplest with three short paragraphs to describe location, what happened and damage to the car. Some candidates additionally made successful use of headings. Describing location presented fewest difficulties with most candidates achieving an appropriate level of detail. Some candidates attempted too complex a scenario when describing and explaining what happened with resulting loss of clarity. Clarity was also sometimes lost when attempting too complex a description of damage to the car or when candidates tried to use vocabulary they were uncertain of. There was generally accurate use and combination of simple past and past continuous to depict location and most candidates, in describing and explaining a sequence of events, used the simple past effectively. Some confused the use of past simple / past perfect and simple past tense forms of regular and irregular verbs, e.g. hitted. The passive voice was generally accurately used to describe damage to the car. 1

3 Generally appropriate vocabulary was used when describing location and explaining what happened. Describing the damage was generally found to be more challenging when candidates attempted a higher level of precision and inaccuracies in noun phrases were particularly apparent, e.g. back left lighter, whole car s back, the damage on its behind. Spelling was generally accurate. Task 2 Canteen Feedback In this task, there was an opportunity for candidates to use their own ideas and they were generally not short of ideas as the vast majority had experienced or could imagine the issues in their own college canteen provision. Many responses were longer than suggested and with little loss of coherence. The tone was generally appropriate, though at times rather too severe. A minority of candidates spent too long on why students were unhappy with the restaurant and gave insufficient attention to improvements to restaurant service. Generally, paragraphing was good, with an opening paragraph, two or more main paragraphs and a concluding statement. Generally good use was made of modal verbs and present tense forms, and of complex sentences when describing why students were unhappy with the restaurant. Generally good use was made of first conditionals, imperatives, modals and other aspects of the language of suggestion when discussing improvements to the restaurant service. Connectives such as however, moreover, also, another thing is that, firstly, secondly, in conclusion were accurately used for the most part. The topic elicited a good range of appropriate vocabulary which was effectively used in most cases; inaccuracies occurring when more complex collocations were attempted. There was also sometimes uncertainty over whether prices has rised, raised or risen and restaurant staff were sometimes stuff. Spelling, however, was generally accurate. Task 3a A Famous Person This was the most popular choice of the option questions (3a and 3b), possibly because it gave candidates the opportunity to select a personality of interest to them. Candidates often selected personalities from outside the U.K. and the most popular choices were musicians, singers, entertainers, actors, explorers, charity workers, statesmen, politicians and writers. Most candidates responded well to both parts of the question, though occasionally, if too much emphasis was placed on the first part, i.e. what the person did to become famous, the second part, why s/he was admired, was sometimes omitted or not explicitly stated. Generally this task was well-paragraphed with good opening and closing statements. Stronger candidates often introduced the article with an arresting title or use rhetorical questions in their opening paragraph as a mechanism for arousing interest in the character chosen. Most candidates were able to demonstrate some proficiency in the language of description and explanation with good use made of past tenses, complex sentences and clauses of result introduced with so, for this reason, that is why The task elicited a good range of tenses and verb forms, most of which were used accurately. The task elicited a good range of vocabulary relevant to the personality chosen with no discernible pattern of misspellings or usage emerging. This appeared to indicate that candidates had been well prepared for a topic of this nature. 2

4 Task 3b Job-Seeking Leaflet This task fell within the realm of experience of most of the candidates who chose to attempt the question. Stronger candidates made use of a title for the leaflet, headings, an introductory paragraph setting the scene, bullet-pointed information and a concluding paragraph, often wishing the readers good luck in their attempts to find a job. Weaker candidates tended not to use headed sections and/or to omit reference to one or more of the bullet points, typically the point referring to behaviour at interview. The tone used by most candidates was appropriately informal and persuasive. This task elicited a good range of modal verbs and good use was made of imperative forms. Weaker candidates tended to restrict themselves to simple sentences using imperative forms. Stronger candidates often glossed the simple sentence instruction with a complex sentence explaining what was required of the interviewee in greater detail. This task elicited a good range of vocabulary relevant to this topic. The most common spelling errors were carier, carrier, carreer and carrer for career (despite being given in the rubric) and among weaker candidates cloths for clothes. Two of the most common usage errors were behave used as a noun and advices for advice. Candidate Information Approximately 65% of candidates were female and the largest proportion (49%) were aged between 21 and 30. Though the largest proportion of candidates had been learning English for more than five years, a sizeable group (36%) reported that they had been learning English for less than three years. Speakers of at least 56 first languages took this version of the test, the most common being Polish (19.8%), Spanish (8.0%), French (5.5%), Czech (5.3%), and Slovak (4.9%). 3

5 Recommendations for Candidate Preparation All Cambridge ESOL Skills for Life tests are based closely on the Adult ESOL Core Curriculum and cover all the Basic Skills Standards in each mode at each level. Therefore, by following the Adult ESOL Core Curriculum, teachers will be preparing their students for the tests. Candidates will benefit from being reminded of the following Dos and Don'ts: Do make use of the guidelines which tell you how much to write and how much time to spend on each task. read the task instructions carefully and check that you have done what the instructions say. think carefully about the intended audience and adopt an appropriate tone and style. plan your answer carefully to make sure you have balanced the points. make sure you use paragraphs and organise your answer appropriately. make sure your answer is grammatically accurate. make sure your writing is easy to read. make use of appropriate opening and closing formulae (such as Dear Sir or Madam or See you soon) in letters and s. Don t worry if you run out of space: your Centre will provide extra paper which will be marked in the normal way. waste time writing out a rough answer use effective planning instead. forget to check that you have covered all the content points in the task. forget to spend time checking your answers for grammatical accuracy. Sample Scripts Sample scripts are provided for each task in the question paper. Please note that it is not possible to reproduce the original candidate answers, and so any references in the commentaries to quality of handwriting will not be reflected in the samples provided. 4

6 Level 1 (Test V055) Sample Scripts and Commentaries Level 1 Script A Task 1 (About 10 minutes) You were in the town centre recently when you saw a minor accident. A lorry hit a parked car but the lorry driver didn t stop. The owner of the parked car has asked you to write a witness report to describe what you saw. In your witness report: say where you were give details of what happened describe the damage to the parked car. Write about 80 words. I was standing right on the corner next to the swichshop it s junction of Russel street and Monument road. The Lorry very big one actually, had arraived from my left hand side and was trying to turn right but it seems there was to little space for such a big lorry. And it had hit the small car which was parked on the right hand side. I was astonished that the Lorry driver didn t even reduce his speed he just had drived away. Moreafter I had came closer to check if there is any damage there what I had sawn it was that the small car wich I relised was peguote hed lost its bumper and reare lamps witch indicator apart of this it was a few dents and scraches. (Total: 9 marks) 5

7 Level 1 Script A Commentary Band Mark Text Task completed though there is some incoherence in places. The script would benefit from some paragraphing. Attempts to use cohesive devices are not always successful (e.g. Moreafter). 2 2 Sentence Frequent errors in structure (e.g. The lorry very big one actually had arrived ) 1 1 Word Frequent basic spelling mistakes e.g. swich shop, reare, scraches 1 1 6

8 Level 1 Script B Task 1 (About 10 minutes) You were in the town centre recently when you saw a minor accident. A lorry hit a parked car but the lorry driver didn t stop. The owner of the parked car has asked you to write a witness report to describe what you saw. In your witness report: say where you were give details of what happened describe the damage to the parked car. Write about 80 words. It was 5pm, I walked on the Albert road in direction to the library (close to the town center), when I heard a strong noise like a crash or a car accident. I checked around myself and I saw a lorry car (Renault brand) hiting a parked car. The lorry driver wants to park in front of the car but there was not enough space. So the lorry hit the bonnet of the car. The light is broken and it miss some painting. The lorry driver checked what s happened with the mirror and go out without saying anything and giving any address or matricule. (Total: 9 marks) 7

9 Level 1 Script B Commentary Band Mark Text Task completed. Target reader would be adequately informed. 2 2 Sentence Some evidence of ability to construct complex sentences marred by verb tense errors. 1 1 Word Generally accurate spelling with some minor errors, (e.g. matricule, miror). Evidence of some appropriate vocabulary (e.g. bonnet)

10 Level 1 Script C Task 2 You see this notice in your college restaurant. (About 25 minutes) College Restaurant Help us to help you! We have noticed many students have stopped using the restaurant recently. We would like to know why students are unhappy with the restaurant and how we can improve our service. Please write with your views to: Philip Smith, Restaurant Manager You decide to write a letter to Mr Smith giving your views. Write about 130 words. You do not need to write the address or the date. Dear Mr. Smith, How are you? I am a frequently customer in a restaurant, I d been come to the restaurant five times a week. It was because I find the good quality foods in the restaurant. Unfortunately, there are changed a lots, the food are cold, some foods are too salty, the main reason is the environment has been changed. Some people who smoked in the restaurant even though there is a no-smoking notice showed on the table. Everyone should know that cannot smoke in the restaurant I am very angry about this. I know you have provided very good services in the restaurant, but the quality of foods and the environment of the restaurant are also very important. There are some of my classmates, they are allergic in smoke so that why they don t go to recently. I hope what I mentioned above can help to improve your services. At the end, I hope we will come back again. Yours faithfully, Berta (Total: 12 marks) 9

11 Level 1 Script C Commentary Band Mark Text The content of the task is covered, though there is a lack of coherence in places. Register is not always appropriate (e.g. How are you?). 1 2 Sentence Frequent structure and grammar errors, such as in verb-noun agreement and sentence construction (e.g. so that why they don t go to recently). 1 1 Word Evidence of a range of vocabulary with accurate spelling

12 Level 1 Script D Task 2 You see this notice in your college restaurant. (About 25 minutes) College Restaurant Help us to help you! We have noticed many students have stopped using the restaurant recently. We would like to know why students are unhappy with the restaurant and how we can improve our service. Please write with your views to: Philip Smith, Restaurant Manager You decide to write a letter to Mr Smith giving your views. Write about 130 words. You do not need to write the address or the date. Dear Mr. Smith, I and my friends decided to help you to improve your service in college restaurant. First of all our opinion why students have stoped using the restaurant is the menu. You should make menu wich would containe more vegetable meals and rise. Students in our college are mostly from east Europe and Asia. They are not used to have for lunch everyday pizza, chips and fried meals. Decoration should be more nice and lively. That is first impression when students coming to the restaurant. It will help if you can buy some clothtable and put on every table some flowers. Me and my two friends we realy would like to help with everythink if is possible. Two year ago we were worked in Prague in five stars hotel. We apprecate coming and studying in this college, that s why we would like to help. (Total: 12 marks) 11

13 Level 1 Script D Commentary Band Mark Text The content of task is covered. Target reader would be adequately informed. 2 4 Sentence Lack of control of basic structure (e.g. we were worked) and frequent incorrect word order. 1 1 Word Numerous spelling mistakes (e.g. rise, containe, clothtable, realy)

14 Level 1 Script E Task 3a (About 40 minutes) The local newspaper in the community where you live is planning to publish articles about famous people from different countries. This might be a film star, a politician or another person from the past or present. You decide to write an article for the newspaper about a famous person that you admire. In your article explain what the person did to become famous and say why you admire them. Include any other information that you think would be interesting for the readers of the article. Write about 200 words. Mr Li Den Hue is the ex-presedent of Taiwan. He was born in 1920 when Taiwan was ruled by Japan. His father Li Jing Long was a policeman, which was a very basic ruling class then, with low income. Mr. studied hard the got into the best university in Japan. After he was graduated he joined the govement. Very soon China took over Taiwan from Japan and Li was put in jail because he believed Taiwanese should be independent from Japan and China; Taiwanese should be their own masters. Being put in jail for 3 years he was set free because he made the Chinese govement believe he was loyal to them. Since then became smart and stayed in govement. 30 years later he was a candidate of presdent; people voted him because he is a real Taiwanese and loves Taiwan. (Total: 15 marks) 13

15 Level 1 Script E Commentary Band Mark Text All points addressed although second point not explicitly. 2 3 Sentence Evidence of ability to construct complex sentences but not always consistent. 2 4 Word Good range of vocabulary with minimal error

16 Level 1 Script F Task 3a (About 40 minutes) The local newspaper in the community where you live is planning to publish articles about famous people from different countries. This might be a film star, a politician or another person from the past or present. You decide to write an article for the newspaper about a famous person that you admire. In your article explain what the person did to become famous and say why you admire them. Include any other information that you think would be interesting for the readers of the article. Write about 200 words. Memory of famous actor. I am going to write about famous actor Marlon Brandon, who died one year ago. For me his life from childhood till his death was thrilling and very enteresting. I admire him a lot because when he was very down, never give up his dream to become an actor. Marlon was born in state of Korolina 1926, to father who was busines man and his mum was house wife and occasionaly she had played in theathre. His father was mostly of the time working away from home. Womeniser. When was Marlon age of 8 his mum became alcoholic. When he shoul play with his friend, he was looking after his little sister and brother. Somtimes wasn t coming from pub home. Many time, when Marlon was looking for his mother, he had found her naked in the street or in a pub. However he always had admired her, therefore they shared love for theather, art and classic music. When Marlon decided left home, he come to New York. While he was in the city he was studying prestige acting school and working like waiter, postman, doorman... The second and biggest reason why I admire this man is, that when he became famous and weolthy he never forgot about poor people. He was always full of empothy with emigrants and indians in who were discriminated in his time. (Total: 15 marks) 15

17 Level 1 Script F Commentary Band Mark Text Task fully completed with attempt at expansion and to engage audience. 3 5 Sentence Evidence of ability to construct complex sentences with some errors. 2 4 Word Frequent basic spelling mistakes but evidence of a good range of vocabulary

18 Level 1 Script G Task 3b (About 40 minutes) You have recently had some job interviews so your college careers office has asked you to write a leaflet giving advice on how to succeed at job interviews. In your leaflet, give advice on the following points: how to prepare for the interview what to wear and what not to wear how to answer the questions how to behave at the interview. Write about 200 words. Nobody likes being interviewed, but sometimes there is no escape from it, that s why there are things you can do to help you go throw it. First of all think positive, try to prepare your answers at home. Try to prepare all answers for questions you might be ask for example about your previous work, experiences, hobby, qualifications. Remember to look formal. Make sure your clothes looks clean and nice on you. Don t wear bright colours the best colour is grey or black. For men dark colour suit is esentiall For women neither trousers or skirt but remember that skirt can t be to short. Women shouldn t wear to much make-up too, and should remember about nice and formal looking hair style. You should answer all questions as honest as possible. Try to speak quiet loud and confident. During interview don t avoid eye-contact, that s really important. Try to sit on a chair propely and keep your hands on your knees. Don t try to dominate a conversation and don t try to change a subject if you are asked a particular question. Good luck (Total: 15 marks) 17

19 Level 1 Script G Commentary Band Mark Text Task fully completed. Intended audience would be interested and fully informed. 3 6 Sentence Evidence of complex sentences with control over a range of tenses. Punctuation mainly correct. 2 4 Word Evidence of a range of vocabulary appropriate to task with some spelling mistakes (e.g. throw, esentinall)

20 Level 1 Script H Task 3b (About 40 minutes) You have recently had some job interviews so your college careers office has asked you to write a leaflet giving advice on how to succeed at job interviews. In your leaflet, give advice on the following points: how to prepare for the interview what to wear and what not to wear how to answer the questions how to behave at the interview. Write about 200 words. How to Succeed at Job Interviews: When we go to an interview we should have an enough preparation. Generally, we can have four parts to remind you. Firstly, have you got enough information about your job, like do you know what you are going to do? Have you got the suitable qualifications? Have you got the experience of that? Do you your job is? Why are you to be work here. All about are very important questions to need to know. It is because the interviewer, he or she also wants to know that you know what job nature is. Here is a tip, you can say what experience you had, how you can use your previous experienced and contribute into your coming job. You will get some marks during your interview. Secondly, we should talk about the wear: In most cases, we should have a formal dressing during the interview, but what is the formal dressing : Normally, men should wears suites, ties, shirts and cleaned shoes, tie may not be necessary, but tidy must. No sport shoes, jeans. For ladies, they may have a dress or tidy suites also very good dressing for an interview. Thirdly, during the interview, you may answer the questions from the interviewers, you must answer what they asked, that mean your answer must be related to the questions, don t ask too much about the others. 19

21 Tips = Try to think about the questions that the interviewers will ask you, and prepared the answer in your mind. Finally, how you behave well in your interview: The last three points above mentioned plus you sleep well before to interview, Finally wishes you interview succeed. (Total: 15 marks) 20

22 Level 1 Script H Commentary Band Mark Text Task addressed though with a lack of coherence resulting from poor control of structure and syntax. 1 2 Sentence Frequent structure and grammar errors. 1 1 Word A range of vocabulary but not always used appropriately