National Coaching Certification Program Conflict Resolution

Transcription

1 Conflict Resolution Larry Ruch High Performance 1 Ottawa, June 22, 2014

2 My thoughts today are largely based on an amalgamation of pro coaching experience (especially mistakes made), my association with people in the educational-law enforcement and remedial-counselling domains and martial arts Learning Outcomes: -Develop a Conflict Resolution Inventory -Think critically about your patience and frustration levels -What is your philosophy about hockey?

3 Recommended Reading: -George Thompson, Verbal Judo -Stephen Peters, Do You Know Enough About Me To Teach Me? -Gichin Funakoshi, My Way of Life -Marlene Brant Castellano, Aboriginal Healing Foundation

4 Player comes to the bench after taking a bad penalty, costs a goal, yapping to players how unjust the ref was Player is dogging it in practice, particularly obvious during skating drills Player asks to see you in the hallway and starts questioning you about his benching, parents around, using profane language Referee makes a bad call, horrible call, everyone is letting him have it.. and he decides to skate to your bench to talk to you A parent confronts you in the hallway after a game, hot and bothered about their daughters playing time A group of parents calls you in for a meeting, trying to convince you to use different systems, stop rolling the lines etc

5 From our earlier exercise, what did you refer to when resolving those issues of conflict?

6 Coaches are successful when they are emotionally intelligent, self aware, and have the ability to develop custom coaching methodologies specifically designed to build upon the strengths of each player that they interact with. If these elements are effectively applied, the coach has accepted a role in which there is a continuous, two-way exchange of enthusiasm and learning, and a coach-player alliance is formed. In my experience as an athlete, an educator, and a therapist, it is important to create a culture that focuses on mutual respect, success promotion, and accountability when working with young people. Kristen Haslett B. Ed., M. Ed. Counsellor Rideauwood Addiction and Family Services

7 Conflict is one of the most powerful processes a coach can master in helping the team break through to become a "High Performing Team". Without managing conflict in a constructive, cleansing and synergizing way, the coach risks losing the trust of the organization, the team and/or mission critical team members. Further, in order to manage the team's state of "flow", the mindful coach maps out the conflicts which need resolving and provides the best possible environment and best possible moment of the season to bring each conflict to a "head". The resolutions of which can jettison the team into a higher level of collaborative speed produced by the increased propensities to trust. Hence, the ability of a team to raise the level of its game in the most stressful and competitive of situations, is directly related to the capability of the team's coach to increase the level of team, leadership and interpersonal trust through his/her conflict resolution management in such decisive moments. Ken Tyler Guiding Teams, Leaders & Coaches Through Transformational Change Former Austrian National Team Ice Hockey Olympic Coach

8 Point 1: Coaches appear to be unprepared for confrontation from players or others.. when it comes there are no strategies ready.. Thus, does personal frustration result? Point 2: This is training for ourselves.. To counteract what we might do in quick reaction.. motivating a disagreeable person to voluntary compliance - Thompson Point 4:Move according to your opponent To win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the highest skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the highest skill -Gichin Funakoshi move with him.. Point 5: Taking abuse is a reality Just because you have an authority role.. don t expect voluntary compliance-thompson Point 6: Is not it our duty to remain professional? Point 7: Know yourself and know your opponent

9 Good coaches know what to say and when to say it Gio Donato Former Defensive Coordinator with the Ottawa Sooners, Guest coach Carleton Ravens Football Program.

10 So A Conflict Resolution Inventory

11 1. Differentiation is essential people often don t mean what they say Listen and know the individual Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. - Winston Churchill 2. Ignore the negativity, the insults. Taking abuse is a reality Just because you have an authority role.. don t expect voluntary compliance -Thompson 3. Maintain your composure, facial expressions, show empathy

12 4. Transparency has usually worked quite well for me I try to get in to the other persons skin unemotionally and try to understand how he probably feels, no lecturing, no judging... - Per Mahler- Doctor of Sports Medicine,Geneva Switzerland Paraphrase Is this what you are really saying? Translating the language used so you both can communicate. Your ability to anticipate -Thompson 5. Must you render a decision today? 6. Motivational interaction helping the person to find his own resources and solutions rather than imposing them - Mahler

13 "As a Police Officer, we deal with conflict on a daily basis. When I ask children what my greatest tool is as a Police Officer, they always answer with 'gun', 'radio', or 'handcuffs'. In actuality, I tell them that my greatest tool is my voice. It is the first tool I use when dealing with any situation and often is the best tool to help de-escalate any conflict. Our ways of communication are what we are trained to use, rather than any type of physical force" (unless necessary) Constable Michelle Baird Ottawa Police

14 Aboriginal Healing Foundation acknowledgement, naming the harmful acts and admitting that they were wrong; redress, taking action to compensate for harms inflicted; healing, restoring physical, mental, social/emotional, and spiritual balance in individuals, families, communities, and nations; and reconciliation, accepting one another following injurious acts or periods of conflict and developing mutual trust.

15 Final Thoughts We have a huge advantage here.. we are presented with an opportunity to create a connection and we are ultimately in control of this relationship... we have extraordinary power.. some think that this manner of dealing with conflict management allows the perception of the coach as weak.. not tough enough... no true

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