Motivating Children with Encouragement Colossians 3:21, Ephesians 6:4 September 28, 2014

Transcription

1 Motivating Children with Encouragement Colossians 3:21, Ephesians 6:4 September 28, 2014 A. Introduction! What causes most people to get angry most of the time?! Who are examples of men in the Bible who did not get their way? A. Definition of the problem of provoking! What are some of the erroneous ideas regarding how fathers may provoke their children to wrath?! When the Bible says, Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, how can a dad know what he should do or not do in terms of child rearing?, Ephesians 6:4, II Peter 1:3, II Timothy 3:16 B. Causes of the problem! What appears to be a major cause of provoking children to wrath?! How can this major cause of exasperation in children be substantiated from Scripture 1. Luke 6:40, Proverbs 22:24-25, I Corinthians 15:33, Proverbs 13:20! What are some other causes of exasperation in children? C. Characteristics! What are some of the characteristics of the type of dad who typically provokes his children to wrath? 1. Proverbs 14:29 2. Matthew 7: Proverbs 15:1 4. James 2:13 5. Romans 12:19 6. Proverbs 14:17 7. Luke 9: Proverbs 19:19 D. Solution to the problem! What does God command to fathers as the solution to the problem of provoking their children to wrath? Discipline (Paideia) Instruction (Nouthesia)

2 Motivating Children with Encouragement September 28, 2014

3 Colossians 3:21- Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. Ephesians 6:4 - And, you fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

4 A. Introduction B. Defining the problem of provoking C. Causes of the problem D. Characteristics of a provoker E. Solution to the problem

5 A. Introduction

6 Q: What causes most people to get angry most of the time? A: The simple answer is not getting my own way.

7 Demanding my own way Anger Resentment Grudge Bitterness Doubt Self-Pity Discouragement Depression

8 Genesis 18:19 - For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.

9 II Samuel 17:23 - Now when Ahithophel saw that his counsel was not followed, he saddled his donkey and arose and went to his home, to his city, and set his house in order, and strangled himself; thus he died and was buried in the grave of his father.

10 1 Kings 19:4-5 - But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree; and he requested for himself that he might die, and said, "It is enough; now, O Lord, take my life, for I am not better than my fathers."

11 Jonah 4:4 - Then said the LORD, Do you do well to be angry?

12 James 1: But let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.

13 Jonah 4:9 - And he said, "Yes, I do well to be angry, angry enough to die."

14 B. Definition of the problem of provoking

15 Colossians 3:21- Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

16 Ephesians 4:26 Be ye angry and sin not. Do not let the sun go down on your anger.

17 What exasperates children is the spirit of what takes place in the home, especially the spirit of the marriage, the atmosphere of the home and the possession of the young person s heart.

18 Q: What can dad do? A: He can follow the Bible and do what it says. Scripture does not contradict itself.

19 C. Causes of the problem (of provoking to wrath)

20 A major cause of provoking children to wrath would be a father who has an angry spirit.

21 The bad temper and example of imprudent parents often prove a great hindrance to their children and a stumbling-block in their way; ~ Matthew Henry

22 Luke 6:40 - A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher.

23 Proverbs 22: Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.

24 I Corinthians 15:33 - Do not be deceived: "Bad company ruins good morals." Anger certainly does not promote the cause of meekness.

25 Proverbs 13:20 - Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

26 Other causes of exasperation in children: 1. Lack of training in godliness 2. Lack of training to accept responsibility. 3. Neglect - 1 Kings 1:6

27 1 Kings 1:6 - And his father had never crossed [displeased] him at any time by asking, "Why have you done so?" And he was also a very handsome man; and he was born after Absalom.

28 Other causes of exasperation in children: 1. Lack of training in godliness 2. Lack of training to accept responsibility. 3. Neglect - 1 Kings 1:6 4. Discouragement 5. Favoritism 6. Over protection in the wrong areas of life.

29 Children should be protected from wrong thinking and wrong activities, which usually go hand-in-hand.

30 Wrong thinking comes from: 1. Parental weakness and failure 2. False ideas regarding love 3. The world s entertainment 4. Relatives who do not share your values 5. Idolizing friends and popularity 6. The American dating system 7. Too much independence too soon 8. Wrong influences on a job (Listening to the advice of non-christians) 9. Wrong values or associations in sports or hobbies 10. Learning to question the truth

31 Other causes of exasperation in children: 1. Lack of training in godliness 2. Lack of training to accept responsibility. 3. Neglect - 1 Kings 1:6 4. Discouragement 5. Favoritism 6. Over protection in the wrong areas of life. 7. A home with a permissive spirit.

32 A home with a permissive spirit is one in which a young person is free to follow his or her own heart without any direction or restraint. Proverb 28:26 - He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but he who walks wisely will be delivered.

33 D. Characteristics

34 Characteristics of the type of dad who typically provokes his children to wrath 1. Quick to take decisive (divisive) action (slow to think) - Proverbs 14:29, Ecclesiastes 7:9, Proverbs 29:20

35 Proverbs 14:29 - Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly. Ecclesiastes 7:9 - Be not hasty in your spirit to be angry: for anger rests in the bosom of fools. Proverbs 29:20 - Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.

36 Characteristics of the type of dad who typically provokes his children to wrath 1. Quick to take decisive (divisive) action (slow to think) - Proverbs 14:29, Ecclesiastes 7:9, Proverbs 29:20 2. Quick to judge others by a stricter standard Matthew 7:1-2

37 Matthew 7:1-2 - Do not judge lest you be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you.

38 Characteristics of the type of dad who typically provokes his children to wrath 1. Quick to take decisive (divisive) action (slow to think) - Proverbs 14:29, Ecclesiastes 7:9, Proverbs 29:20 2. Quick to judge others by a stricter standard Matthew 7: Harshness Proverbs 15:1

39 Proverbs 15:1 - A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

40 Characteristics of the type of dad who typically provokes his children to wrath 1. Quick to take decisive (divisive) action (slow to think) - Proverbs 14:29, Ecclesiastes 7:9, Proverbs 29:20 2. Quick to judge others by a stricter standard Matthew 7: Harshness Proverbs 15:1 4. Emphasis on justice to exclusion of mercy James 2:13

41 James 2:13 - For judgment will be merciless to one who has shown no mercy; mercy triumphs over judgment.

42 Characteristics of the type of dad who typically provokes his children to wrath 1. Quick to take decisive (divisive) action (slow to think) - Proverbs 14:29, Ecclesiastes 7:9, Proverbs 29:20 2. Quick to judge others by a stricter standard Matthew 7: Harshness Proverbs 15:1 4. Emphasis on justice to exclusion of mercy James 2:13 5. Motivation of revenge Romans 12:19

43 Romans 12:19 - Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord.

44 Characteristics of the type of dad who typically provokes his children to wrath 1. Quick to take decisive (divisive) action (slow to think) - Proverbs 14:29, Ecclesiastes 7:9, Proverbs 29:20 2. Quick to judge others by a stricter standard Matthew 7: Harshness Proverbs 15:1 4. Emphasis on justice to exclusion of mercy James 2:13 5. Motivation of revenge Romans 12:19 6. Foolish reasoning Proverbs 14:17

45 Proverbs 14:17 - A man of quick temper acts foolishly, and a man of evil devices is hated.

46 Characteristics of the type of dad who typically provokes his children to wrath 7. Unawareness of the anger problem Luke 9:53-56

47 Luke 9: and He sent messengers on ahead of Him. And they went, and entered a village of the Samaritans, to make arrangements for Him. And they did not receive Him, because He was journeying with His face toward Jerusalem. And when His disciples James and John saw this, they said, "Lord, do You want us to command fire to come down from heaven and consume them?" But He turned and rebuked them, [and said, "You do not know what kind of spirit you are of; for the Son of Man did not come to destroy men's lives, but to save them. "]And they went on to another village.

48 Q: If I am unaware of the problem, who do I find out if I have it? A: Get alone with God for a day and ask Him to speak to your heart through Scripture.

49 Characteristics of the type of dad who typically provokes his children to wrath 7. Unawareness of the anger problem Luke 9: Results in rebuke and reproof Proverbs 19:19

50 Proverbs 19:19 - A man of great anger shall bear the penalty, for if you rescue him, you will only have to do it again.

51 E. Solution to the problem

52 Galatians 6:1 - Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, you which are spiritual, restore such a one in the spirit of meekness;

53 Proverbs 16:32 - He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.

54 Proverbs 25:28 - He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls. We are warned against being overruled by a wrong spirit.

55 Proverbs 16:19 - Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud.

56 Q: What does God command to fathers as the solution to the problem of provoking their children to wrath? A: Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

57 Discipline (Paideia) Instruction (Nouthesia) Training by act and discipline Training by word What is done to and for the child The How Structure (rules, regulations, rewards and punishments) Actions Behavior Habits Obey the commandments Communication and the rod What is said to the child The Why Internal inspiration Motivations Attitudes Heart (desires) Love God, love others Communication and the rod

58 Romans 15:4-6 - For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.