Writing a Great Common App Essay

Transcription

1 (This booklet was prepared by Karen Schwarz, a TCW parent and volunteer in the College & Career Center. She also assists students with admissions essays in private practice (kschwarz@comcast.net) Writing a Great Common App Essay When college admissions officers (A.O.s) open your file, they learn about you as a student by looking at your courses, grades and test scores. What they still need to find out, before they decide to admit you or not, is who you are, as an individual, and whether you would be a good fit for their college or university. It is the job of your essay/s to show A.O.s who you are, apart from your academic record, and why you would be a great presence on their campus. Your essay should have these two key characteristics. 1. It shows that you re mature, that you re ready for college life and college-level work. That means your essay demonstrates one or more of the following qualities: *You can think for yourself and make good decisions when challenging situations arise. *You view yourself and your actions critically and with a sense of humor. *You can build positive relationships with a wide variety of people. *You are passionate about a specific interest or area of study. 2. It tells admissions officers what they will NOT learn about you elsewhere in your application. Your essay should reveal something about your personality, interests or background. You could tell a story about a part time job, internship, volunteer work or summer experience that was particularly meaningful. The fact that this experience is listed elsewhere on your application does not mean you can t write your essay about it. What is key here is that

2 your essay must be a story that only you can tell. If you make it personal, you will make it great. How to Get Started on your Common App Essay 1. Set up your Common App account at commonapp.org. Find the essay prompts in the application (download forms) under Writing, and read them over a few times. 2. Give yourself time to consider several stories from your own life that coincide with these prompts. (Don t expect to get a good idea right away.) Jot down whatever stories/ideas come into your head. Here are some activities that may help you get started. a. Look around your room, or in your closet, wallet or backpack. What s there that might surprise people. Why is this item significant? What s the story behind it? b. Think about your traumatic firsts: flunking a test, driving a car, a babysitting job, getting hired, getting fired, etc. Some of these firsts might be good stories, or they might remind you of other experiences that might make a good essay. c. Get uncomfortable. Think of incidents from your life that you d like to forget. These stories make great essays because they demonstrate maturity; You re willing to explore something unpleasant, and you can describe the impact that it had on you. 3. Match the ideas you ve jotted down with the essay prompts. If none of your ideas sync up with the prompts, that s okay. You can do the last prompt, which invites you to write about a topic of your choice. 4. Figure out which idea will give you the most raw material. You need a lot of raw material to make a good essay. Raw material comes from 3 sources: Feelings, memories and details. a. Feelings: The idea about which you feel strongest will probably make your best essay.

3 b.memories: Give yourself a few quiet sessions to reflect on each of your ideas, and write down everything that comes to you. c. Details: These are the pieces of descriptive information that bring an essay to life, and demonstrate to admissions officers that this story and this essay -- is important to you. Figure out which idea will provide you with the most details. 5. Once you have an idea that might work, jot down everything about that idea. The goal is to get it out of your head and onto a Word document. (Don t organize or try to be eloquent. Do not waste time with spell check and grammar. Just tell the story to your computer. How to Organize Your Essay 1. The beginning. You need a strong opening sentence or grabber : If your first few lines do not grab the attention of admissions officers, they may not bother to read the rest of your essay, and your chances for admission will sink. Here are 3 tricks to writing a good Grabber : *Set up a vivid scene. For example, a TCW student wrote her essay about interning at a hotel. Her grabber was about cleaning rooms after a pro soccer team stayed there. She described picking up bloody bandages and cigarette butts. *Make a startling statement. Here s an example: The patch of grass under the picnic table in our backyard is a gleaming metropolis of anobilyctus ferens black ants. This grabber is particularly strong because ants are an unusual subject and it sets up a vivid scene. 2. Follow-Up (This is the rest of your first paragraph, or it might be your second graph if your grabber happens to run long). The followup sets up the story you re about to tell.

4 Here s the follow-up for the black ants: My sister discovered the anobis on a hot July afternoon ten years ago. Our family was eating tuna sandwiches and she dropped her napkin under the table. Oh, gross, she whined, as she reached for the bug spray. I peered under the table. They are not, I yelled, grabbing the can from her. Over the years, while my sister and I battled over Lego pieces, the TV remote and the car keys, and my parents argued over money, the anobis carried on their amazing civilization. This follow-up is effective because it draws the reader into the story with great details like tuna, Lego and the ant-hating sister. The reader gets a sense of why the student is so fond of the anobis. The quotes bring the paragraph to life and inject a bit of humor. 3. Middle: This will probably be about 2-4 graphs. The middle is where you tell your story, and in so doing, communicate to admissions officers why they should admit you (see p. 1). The middle of the anobi essay might describe growing up with the ants. The student might write about building a little fortress around the ants when he was in 3 rd grade. Then he might describe how he identified the ants by going his favorite insect website, or taking the ants to his science teacher. (This portion of the essay demonstrates the student s playfulness and growing intellectual curiosity A.O.s would love this double whammy.) This student could also write about how much he appreciated the kids who were interested in, and respectful of his ant hobby. The student might describe visiting the ants as a way to take a break from homework or family arguments. (A.O.s will also love that the student deals with stress in a constructive way.)

5 3. End (1 or 2 graphs) The end should * conclude the story. *show how the story relates to who you are now. * make clear (again) your personal qualities that demonstrate you re ready for college. The student might end his anobi essay by describing how he doesn t get to spend time under the picnic table anymore because he s so busy with college apps, and his internship at the local nature center. The student might also write about how the anobis got him interested in environmental biology, and helped him realize the difference between learning and studying. (This demonstrates that the student is passionate about an area of study, and is genuinely excited about learning.) How to Write Delicious Sentences A good essay is made up of one delicious sentence after another. Each sentence should make A.O.s want to read the next sentence. Here are two ways to improve the flavor of your sentences. 1. Spice up your bland sentences. Study this example: Bland Sentence: The flood ruined my prom dress. Delicious Sentence: The flood in the basement turned the prom dress I was making into a wet heap of slimy green rayon. Why is the delicious sentence so much better? Look at the words that were added: basement: This gives A.O.s a picture to see in their imagination, which will draw them into the essay.

6 was making: Making a prom dress raises questions that will keep A.O.s reading: Does the student need to save money? Does she have a talent for sewing & design? wet heap: This image tells the A.O.s that this incident was important to the student. 2. Make a delicious sentence by finding a more interesting way to say the same thing. Bland Sentence: For my community service project I collected old encyclopedias and brought them to a recycling center. Delicious Sentence: I am obsessed with collecting old encyclopedias and taking them to the recycling center, where they will be reborn as books for under-privileged preschoolers. Look at the words used in the delicious version: obsessed: Signals the student s commitment about the project. preschoolers: Including other people makes the sentence much more interesting. Collecting, Taking, Reborn. Verbs are better friends than adjectives. Verbs put action in your essay, and action is more interesting than description. When the A.O.s read the delicious version they can picture the student unloading the encyclopedias at the recycling center and kids books rolling off a printing press. How to Polish Your Essay 1. Find a place where no one will hear you and read your essay aloud, slowly, one sentence at a time. You will hear the grammatical errors and clumsy writing that you cannot see when you read silently. Also, If you cannot read a sentence comfortably in one breath, an A.O. will think you re long-winded. That s NOT good. Shorten the sentence or rewrite as 2 sentences.

7 2. Ask someone to read your essay. This person should not be someone who wants to make you feel good. Ask them to sit down and go over the essay with you. Ask them specific questions like What could I cut? and How could I make the beginning better? 3. Put your essay aside for 24 hours. When you come back to it, you will see ways of improving it that didn t occur to you before. 4. Here are some tips for cutting your essay. These tips will improve the quality of the writing, whether or not your essay exceeds the maximum word length. 1. Ask yourself which words, phrases and sentences do NOT move the story forward or add interest to the essay. 2. Look for sentences that could be written more economically. Here s an example: Long sentence: It was raining so hard that my dog got completely soaked. (11 words) Economical sentence: My dog got soaked in the downpour. (7 words) 5. Do not rely on spell check to catch spelling errors. Spell check will not catch was when you intended saw, loin when you intended lion, and place when you intended plate. (These mistakes will sink your application instantly!) Proof your essay several times, and ask others to proof it, too. Final Note: Writing a great essay is difficult because you are trying to accomplish two important tasks simultaneously: 1. You are figuring out how to best present yourself on the page 2. You are trying to keep the A.O.s interested. If you don t struggle over your essay, you might not produce the best work that you can. If you allow yourself to be a little miserable while

8 you work on your essay, you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you gave it your best shot.

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